(no subject)
Last night was great, went up town, met carolyn, we came back here watched sincity, went out and got a pizza, came back, ate it then went and just lay and watched watching futurama and malcom in the middle for a few hours. As futile as it may sound it was great, and i end up thinking, why did i spend so much time chasing after someone i couldn't have whenever someone who can make me feel so great was right before my very eyes.
Yeah i'm changing but i'm starting to realise maybe i was wrong all these years, maybe somethings do happen for a reason... maybe everything happened so i'd confide in Carolyn... It sounds crazy but i dont care because i'm just happy.
However, my way of life will never change, i will always live for the moment. Fate binds to the person and blinds them, and i refuse to be blinded. I'm living my own life, and sure i've lost a "daughter" and even a wife, a best friend and alot more, but it only acts as a constant reminder of my perseverance.
I can't let things bring me down anymore. Freya is an amazing girl, but i refuse rely on empty promises and i'm much happier than i've ever known possible with Carolyn *cherishes her heart*. Rose is in hospital in an uber unstable condition, and all i can do is hope for the best... We often come to junctions in our lives where we feel we should really be doing more, but when its all said and done. There's always a sacrifice, it's just the way life is, every decision we make has a consequence, whether large or small, a sacrifice is made.
Life is survival of the fittest and the strong live while the weak perish. As sad as it is, its true, those with no dreams, hopes and ambitions. They have no drive, no will to do anything. That is where they fall and i'll carry on... You see after my gran destroyed our dreams in her will i had nothing left, no hope, no dreams. Nothing. But then amidst all the recent chaos, I've realised that my true dream is to persevere, to cast off any doubt and just live how i want, with Carolyn and a few close friends under my wings.
I don't know why i'm still typing this, but i suppose it's just because it seems necessarry. I've made alot of conclusions on my life and life in general recently, and it's given me strength, to rise where others fall, succeed where many fail. I cannot let myself fall to doubt anymore, it only leads to memories, memories that remind me of the past. I never want to recall the past as i know it can never be the same.
Thank you Laura, for without you... I'd still be chasing Freya and would never have known this happiness. *hugs tight*
"When your truth turns to lie
And the pain makes you cry
And the fountains of faith run dry
When your dream starts to die
And the fire inside
Starts to dim the more you fight
Take a look at yourself
And what you've sacrificed"
Yeah i'm changing but i'm starting to realise maybe i was wrong all these years, maybe somethings do happen for a reason... maybe everything happened so i'd confide in Carolyn... It sounds crazy but i dont care because i'm just happy.
However, my way of life will never change, i will always live for the moment. Fate binds to the person and blinds them, and i refuse to be blinded. I'm living my own life, and sure i've lost a "daughter" and even a wife, a best friend and alot more, but it only acts as a constant reminder of my perseverance.
I can't let things bring me down anymore. Freya is an amazing girl, but i refuse rely on empty promises and i'm much happier than i've ever known possible with Carolyn *cherishes her heart*. Rose is in hospital in an uber unstable condition, and all i can do is hope for the best... We often come to junctions in our lives where we feel we should really be doing more, but when its all said and done. There's always a sacrifice, it's just the way life is, every decision we make has a consequence, whether large or small, a sacrifice is made.
Life is survival of the fittest and the strong live while the weak perish. As sad as it is, its true, those with no dreams, hopes and ambitions. They have no drive, no will to do anything. That is where they fall and i'll carry on... You see after my gran destroyed our dreams in her will i had nothing left, no hope, no dreams. Nothing. But then amidst all the recent chaos, I've realised that my true dream is to persevere, to cast off any doubt and just live how i want, with Carolyn and a few close friends under my wings.
I don't know why i'm still typing this, but i suppose it's just because it seems necessarry. I've made alot of conclusions on my life and life in general recently, and it's given me strength, to rise where others fall, succeed where many fail. I cannot let myself fall to doubt anymore, it only leads to memories, memories that remind me of the past. I never want to recall the past as i know it can never be the same.
Thank you Laura, for without you... I'd still be chasing Freya and would never have known this happiness. *hugs tight*
"When your truth turns to lie
And the pain makes you cry
And the fountains of faith run dry
When your dream starts to die
And the fire inside
Starts to dim the more you fight
Take a look at yourself
And what you've sacrificed"