Thank you.
thank you SO MUCH for reminding me of how much I HATE YOU! Thank you for making me feel you think more highly of dirt than you do of me. Thank you for thinking I'm the world's biggest idiot. That I was born yesterday. That I am easily defiled and foolishy vulnerable. That I am niave and a halfwit. Yeah, thanks for it. Really. Thank you for reminding me that I HATE YOU. I forget sometimes.
I forget that I do have my own ideas and values and morals. Yes, they may be very different, in some aspects, than yours and they may even be very similar, in some aspects, to yours. They are mine. They are what make me me. If you decide you can't handle that and try to bully me with your populace and your high "nobility" then you must hate me. You know I hold you very close to me. You are a part of me, in essence, and you chose to destroy what part of me you are to me. You hate me. I don't understand it. In hating me, as you know, you destroy that part of me that hopes for your approval. I long for your approval.
And I don't understand why you want to destroy me. Why do you want to bring me down? What do you benefit from it?
And I don't understand why I so need your approval. What do I care what you think? I will always know what ever you say to me will be laced with a negative thought or comment to the creature that is me. And I will always know that, while you don't directly state your negative thought or comment, it is there. You know how I react. You can control me because I've let you inside. I've let you see the true me, my core, in hopes of some form of acceptance. All I get is your actions of creating mutinies in which my thoughts and my body rebel against who I am. I attack myself under your command. I've got scars to prove it. Both mentally and physically. And, you see this, and everything I do, as a form of humility, of inferiority. It's not.
I'm not inferior to you. Why can't we just be on the same level? I accept you for who you are. I love you. Why can't you accept me for who I am? Why can't you love me? Am I really that unlovable?
Am I?
I forget that I do have my own ideas and values and morals. Yes, they may be very different, in some aspects, than yours and they may even be very similar, in some aspects, to yours. They are mine. They are what make me me. If you decide you can't handle that and try to bully me with your populace and your high "nobility" then you must hate me. You know I hold you very close to me. You are a part of me, in essence, and you chose to destroy what part of me you are to me. You hate me. I don't understand it. In hating me, as you know, you destroy that part of me that hopes for your approval. I long for your approval.
And I don't understand why you want to destroy me. Why do you want to bring me down? What do you benefit from it?
And I don't understand why I so need your approval. What do I care what you think? I will always know what ever you say to me will be laced with a negative thought or comment to the creature that is me. And I will always know that, while you don't directly state your negative thought or comment, it is there. You know how I react. You can control me because I've let you inside. I've let you see the true me, my core, in hopes of some form of acceptance. All I get is your actions of creating mutinies in which my thoughts and my body rebel against who I am. I attack myself under your command. I've got scars to prove it. Both mentally and physically. And, you see this, and everything I do, as a form of humility, of inferiority. It's not.
I'm not inferior to you. Why can't we just be on the same level? I accept you for who you are. I love you. Why can't you accept me for who I am? Why can't you love me? Am I really that unlovable?
Am I?