Funk / Emotions / Life / Stuff
Well, it has been a long time since I sat down and wrote anything in here. I think I must be in some sort of funk mood, cause I sure feel...hmmm...down in the dumps I think is the word for it. I am the person who sees the glass as half full so I hardly ever have any moments like this so it is bugging me.
Life is complicated. I am just so dang tired all the time...like the wind has been knocked right out of my sails, if that makes any sense. The doctor did blood work and it is fine, a little high on sugar so I have to do another blood test to see how that is going but everything else seemed fine. I have two bio children 14 and 15 and they are both really good and terrific kids. Doing beautifully in school and in life in general.
I also have two foster kids and they are doing really well for themselves considering the background they come from. The 9 year old is not an easy child and tries my patience on a daily basis. I know if I had a hook on the wall and hung her from it her legs and arms would constantly continue to be moving! Uugghh!
That is another part of what is bugging me, how can I be down or in a funk when my life is so calm compared to the storms that these children have already endured?
The 9 year old is up and available for adoption, what they call legally free. She just has way too many issues; ADHD/OCD/ODD/RAD/PTSD/MOOD DISORDER,so I can see long term care but not adoption. The 7 year old isn't available at this time and I do see him fitting in nicely as an adoptive child, he is developmentally delayed and has significant speech issues and impairment.
My foster baby was sent to another foster/adopt home and the other family is adopting him. My heart will always hurt for this child...he was so much like my own...in every way in my heart and being. But the other family has been approved for adoption a lot longer than I have been and it is just the way it is.
They will be placing another baby with me soon. I hope we get to keep the new one for a long time...it is so hard to do the change out the kids every two weeks, just about the time you have them settled in to a routine...up and move them again.
My love life is the pits...excuse me...what love life would that be?...oh it is just a dry spell, but I am not in the mood for self evaluation as to why I haven't got a boyfriend...Why does society dictate that we are all supposed to be couples???
Speaking of society and the whole couples concept. I am usually really very content with my life and existance until someone tells me I should have a spouse or a signifcant other...why do people do that? I mean to tell you the truth Pat and I are just grand friends and we do enjoy each others company...it is just we are more of a sister and brother and people see it.
I so enjoy being self employed and working for myself and making my own hours and goals. I am a very successful business person and I thrive in what I do.
I mean really, I am a divorced women, 42, overweight, have two bio special needs children, one far more severe than the other, I have two foster kids that are also severely special needs and two dogs...geez I think if I look at this paragraph I can see why I have no boyfriend..like who in their right mind is gonna get in line for this mess?
I love what I do...I am also really good at it. We are also making a huge difference in the lives of the children in our care, so I really do not want to give that(foster Care)up either.
I have also decided that I am at a point in life where I want and can afford/handle more children and truly do want to adopt. I just do not want the state to push me into adopting a child I am not certain that we as a whole family unit can agree on.
Pat is doing all right, he is having a bad day with the arthritus, the gray skies, moist air really does him in. Personality wise he is just a big cuddle bear and easy going as ever. He is a fabulous friend and we laugh for hours together...just nothing on the romantic level exists anymore.
My heart aching for my little foster baby is not a real huge issue, I know another one is coming and I am ready for it when it gets here. I provided a fabulous start for the little one and I still get to see him any time I want...what a beautiful little baby he is.
Hmmm I still do not know why I am in this mood...just am I guess...maybe the weather? Maybe just being a female allows for it? Maybe it is just everything all together? I thought maybe if I just sat down and started writing everything that is going on that I might feel like I could find the answer and then be able to see how to fix it. Not happening.
Well, if anyone has anythoughts as to what the heck my problem is...let me know.
tink/sandy
Life is complicated. I am just so dang tired all the time...like the wind has been knocked right out of my sails, if that makes any sense. The doctor did blood work and it is fine, a little high on sugar so I have to do another blood test to see how that is going but everything else seemed fine. I have two bio children 14 and 15 and they are both really good and terrific kids. Doing beautifully in school and in life in general.
I also have two foster kids and they are doing really well for themselves considering the background they come from. The 9 year old is not an easy child and tries my patience on a daily basis. I know if I had a hook on the wall and hung her from it her legs and arms would constantly continue to be moving! Uugghh!
That is another part of what is bugging me, how can I be down or in a funk when my life is so calm compared to the storms that these children have already endured?
The 9 year old is up and available for adoption, what they call legally free. She just has way too many issues; ADHD/OCD/ODD/RAD/PTSD/MOOD DISORDER,so I can see long term care but not adoption. The 7 year old isn't available at this time and I do see him fitting in nicely as an adoptive child, he is developmentally delayed and has significant speech issues and impairment.
My foster baby was sent to another foster/adopt home and the other family is adopting him. My heart will always hurt for this child...he was so much like my own...in every way in my heart and being. But the other family has been approved for adoption a lot longer than I have been and it is just the way it is.
They will be placing another baby with me soon. I hope we get to keep the new one for a long time...it is so hard to do the change out the kids every two weeks, just about the time you have them settled in to a routine...up and move them again.
My love life is the pits...excuse me...what love life would that be?...oh it is just a dry spell, but I am not in the mood for self evaluation as to why I haven't got a boyfriend...Why does society dictate that we are all supposed to be couples???
Speaking of society and the whole couples concept. I am usually really very content with my life and existance until someone tells me I should have a spouse or a signifcant other...why do people do that? I mean to tell you the truth Pat and I are just grand friends and we do enjoy each others company...it is just we are more of a sister and brother and people see it.
I so enjoy being self employed and working for myself and making my own hours and goals. I am a very successful business person and I thrive in what I do.
I mean really, I am a divorced women, 42, overweight, have two bio special needs children, one far more severe than the other, I have two foster kids that are also severely special needs and two dogs...geez I think if I look at this paragraph I can see why I have no boyfriend..like who in their right mind is gonna get in line for this mess?
I love what I do...I am also really good at it. We are also making a huge difference in the lives of the children in our care, so I really do not want to give that(foster Care)up either.
I have also decided that I am at a point in life where I want and can afford/handle more children and truly do want to adopt. I just do not want the state to push me into adopting a child I am not certain that we as a whole family unit can agree on.
Pat is doing all right, he is having a bad day with the arthritus, the gray skies, moist air really does him in. Personality wise he is just a big cuddle bear and easy going as ever. He is a fabulous friend and we laugh for hours together...just nothing on the romantic level exists anymore.
My heart aching for my little foster baby is not a real huge issue, I know another one is coming and I am ready for it when it gets here. I provided a fabulous start for the little one and I still get to see him any time I want...what a beautiful little baby he is.
Hmmm I still do not know why I am in this mood...just am I guess...maybe the weather? Maybe just being a female allows for it? Maybe it is just everything all together? I thought maybe if I just sat down and started writing everything that is going on that I might feel like I could find the answer and then be able to see how to fix it. Not happening.
Well, if anyone has anythoughts as to what the heck my problem is...let me know.
tink/sandy