Confrontational

Jul 07, 2005 08:28

I'm feeling it today.

So much so, that I may have to pick a fight with Uncle Michael. Since his stroke, he's gotten all religious and shit, and it's kinda pissing me off, some of his new philosophies.

Like, yesterday, he informed Judy (his niece by marriage), that it was against god to get piercings or tattoos. If god has wanted us to have holes or body art, we would have been born with them. That stuck in my craw, but I really couldn't say anything about it at the time.

But, tonight, if given half the chance, I'm going to inform him that he needs to cease and desist from the following activities if he wants to adhere to this line of thinking:
Shaving. If god wanted you to have a clear face, then you'd have one. Since you don't you should grow a great big ole long Arkansas Hillbilly beard, 'cos that's apparently what god intended.
  • Clothes. Were you born with clothes? Nope. Clothing is against god. Get thee nekkid, sinner!
  • Clipping your nails. 'Scuse me, but long grody nails are the Will of god. If you want to keep them pared down, go grub in gods dirt.
  • Glasses. What are you fooling around with your vision for? Apparently god wanted you to be nearsighted. Go fuzzy, ye child of Christ!
  • Cutting your hair. Guess what? God likes hippies 'cos hippies don't cut their hair. They are au natural the way god intended. And you thought they were infidels...silly man!

And I could go on about all the inventions of mankind that were not originally created by god. Phones, lights, motorcars, every single luxury. Robinson Caruso was a man of god. He was as primitive as can be.

Put that in your pipe, Gilligan, and smoke it.

god, rant

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