Here at the End of All Things
I got a little misty-eyed at the Dave Matthews concert the other night, thinking about how this was one of the things I was really going to miss about working for the music business. Some of the perks are really nice despite the overabundance of bullshit. I'll miss the free CDs and the occasional free concert. I'll miss having my finger on the pulse of the supposed "next big thing."
Even with that, I have no regrets leaving my place of employment of over 18 years. It's time for me to move on. Still though.....change can be daunting, especially when all I've ever known has been RCA/BMG/Arvato.
After having quit college and deciding to work for a short period of time before figuring out what I wanted to do with my schooling, I took myself down to the SCEC to look for a job. They were hiring for what was then the RCA Music Service, so I enthusiastically applied. I'd always wanted to be a part of the music business, hoping to someday meet my ultimate hero Jeff Lynne. In my naïveté, I had visions of hobnobbing with all the stars and achieving friendship with Mr. Lynne, even though he wasn't even part of the RCA label group. I was a silly 19-year old with delusions so immense, it's funny to even think upon now.
I was part of the second group of people hired for the SC operation. Going into work on 12 January, 1987, I soon discovered that I was nothing more than a warehouse worker and would have no contact whatsoever with artists of any kind. Crapola. Despite my disappointment and the fact that I despised my boss, I trudged forward and moved from 2nd shift seasonal to 3rd shift full-time by 4 May, 1987. It was during this time I discovered what a soul mate was and met one of my best friends and the person I consider my brother in spirit, Toddzilla. Those were days of awakening, innocence, and deep happiness of which I was then quite unaware.
In 1988, I worked my way up to 1st shift in the music club and witnessed the great migration of Music Distribution from Norcross Georgia to the Duncan facility. RCA was gone, bought out by BMG, and we were now the BMG Music Service and BMG Distribution. Many of my still seasonal and temporary pals achieved full-time at Distribution and moved next door. Special Products also moved from Indianapolis to Duncan, bringing with them the direct marketing for Readers Digest. The Club and Special Products moved into a larger warehouse together, two separate entities sharing a space, sometimes grudgingly.
I became Tim's right-hand woman. Even though I despised him at first, we became the best of friends and worked very well together. My role at that time was coordinator for receiving, albeit in an unofficial capacity. Those were very good times for me. I was working for a wonderful boss and with my best friend. We were a force to be reckoned with and there was the rub. It seemed that some folks didn't like the chumminess, so I was removed from Receiving and placed in the Can't Fill Department.
I made the position my own, excelling in my new job, despite being very unhappy at being separated from Tim and Todd. I was well-known and well-liked by most of my coworkers, and had developed a bit of infamy among members of management thanks to my song spoofs about work and my willingness to contribute artistically to the Cause. All in all, things were groovy. As jobs became available, I would apply in the hopes of furthering my career in the company and maybe making it to a level to where I felt like I was really part of the "business." I was still gullible and desiring of a prize that really never existed.
In 1990, an opportunity fell into my lap. I applied for a position in Quality Assurance. Thanks to my classes in college having to do with music theory and critical listening, I was promoted to Quality Analyst in the Special Products Department. I worked for a flaky woman who really had no clue, yet had a penchant for the women in the office. At one particularly humiliating moment, she placed her boobs on each side of my head as she supposedly "taught" me how to work a piece of electronic equipment. I was like a pornographic Princess Leia. Things weren't the best in the world, but at least I'd gotten a nice raise and was being paid for my analytical skills, plus I got to listen to music all day long.
A few months later, my weirdo boss was asked to resign and who should apply for her position but Timothy! Thus began the best seven years of my entire working career. Shortly after Tim came on board, Travis and Dominic came to the Quality Department. We made a great team, even though we were like the four directions on a compass. I developed a great relationship with the people in Special Products, particularly Stephanie and Cathy. Even Todd came to work in the front office for Special Products, so I had all my beloved homies with me as well as a great job. There were parties, practical jokes, comraderie on a level that is really hard to verbalise here.
Life was good.
Then came The Ax. BMG decided in 1997 that the company was no longer concerned with a certain level of quality and did away with the Quality Assurance department. I was essentially out of a job and was given the option to go back to the warehouse at over a dollar cut in pay or leave altogether. Given my financial situation, I had no choice but to swallow my pride and take the cut in pay. This happened the day after we were all given a bonus and big thank you, so you can imagine my instant disillusion. My time in the warehouse lasted approximately 3 months, at which time I was hired in a clerical capacity in the front office of Special Products.
Two weeks later a job came open in Special Order Services in the Distribution division of BMG. I wanted this job because it would allow me to hobnob with people at the labels. In a fit of disloyalty inspired by the "it's just business" treatment I had received a few months earlier, I went over my manager's head and actively pursued the job, speaking directly to the person would become my Feudal Mistress. A week later, I was in a different building, a different department, and answering to different managers. My responsibilities were initially Point of Purchase, MusicMasters, and BMG US Latin. Over the years my responsibilities would change, save for the Point of Purchase, which I made every effort to define in a new light.
I made such an impression, I was sent to New York for the annual POP meeting and was, for a time, groomed for a possible field position which never came through. It was at this time I realised that I would go no further than where I was. Karmically, I can understand this, because I saw all of my friends in Special Products lose their jobs to downsizing just a few months after I abandoned ship. A few of my homies thought I had had an inside scoop on the impending job loss and that's why I left so swiftly. That was never the case. It just happened that way. Still though, I feel guilt over how it all happened and how people suspect of me of being a deserter. Not so, but you can't change people's opinions.
Ever since August of 1997 I've been in SOS and I've seen BMG Distribution be handed over to Arvato Services. I've seen people come and go. I've seen labels flourish and fold. I've met some artists and have had the honour of attending concerts I would never have otherwise been able to go to had it not been for the kindness of people at the labels for which I worked. I've declined from a wide-eyed youngling with hope in her heart to a jaded middle-aged woman harbouring an overabundance of cynicism and pessimism. I've been made the scapegoat way too many times in the past eight years and I've seen too much of the ugliness that is the music business.
Here at the end of all things, it is time for me to move on and seek other opportunities. After an 18 year break from school, it's time for me to go back and learn more of the world. I've wasted too much of my time chasing a dream that never really existed. Even though I have grown jaded and world-weary when it comes to my job, I am also grateful for the experiences I've had and the friendships I've made. I've learned a lot and grown a lot in the past 18 years. And I've enjoyed a great deal of wonderful music and opportunity not offered to many people.
I'll miss the music and many of the lovely souls with whom I've formed a bond, but there are others deeds to be done and other horizons to strive toward. I don't regret my past, nor shall I regret my future.
Even with that, I have no regrets leaving my place of employment of over 18 years. It's time for me to move on. Still though.....change can be daunting, especially when all I've ever known has been RCA/BMG/Arvato.
After having quit college and deciding to work for a short period of time before figuring out what I wanted to do with my schooling, I took myself down to the SCEC to look for a job. They were hiring for what was then the RCA Music Service, so I enthusiastically applied. I'd always wanted to be a part of the music business, hoping to someday meet my ultimate hero Jeff Lynne. In my naïveté, I had visions of hobnobbing with all the stars and achieving friendship with Mr. Lynne, even though he wasn't even part of the RCA label group. I was a silly 19-year old with delusions so immense, it's funny to even think upon now.
I was part of the second group of people hired for the SC operation. Going into work on 12 January, 1987, I soon discovered that I was nothing more than a warehouse worker and would have no contact whatsoever with artists of any kind. Crapola. Despite my disappointment and the fact that I despised my boss, I trudged forward and moved from 2nd shift seasonal to 3rd shift full-time by 4 May, 1987. It was during this time I discovered what a soul mate was and met one of my best friends and the person I consider my brother in spirit, Toddzilla. Those were days of awakening, innocence, and deep happiness of which I was then quite unaware.
In 1988, I worked my way up to 1st shift in the music club and witnessed the great migration of Music Distribution from Norcross Georgia to the Duncan facility. RCA was gone, bought out by BMG, and we were now the BMG Music Service and BMG Distribution. Many of my still seasonal and temporary pals achieved full-time at Distribution and moved next door. Special Products also moved from Indianapolis to Duncan, bringing with them the direct marketing for Readers Digest. The Club and Special Products moved into a larger warehouse together, two separate entities sharing a space, sometimes grudgingly.
I became Tim's right-hand woman. Even though I despised him at first, we became the best of friends and worked very well together. My role at that time was coordinator for receiving, albeit in an unofficial capacity. Those were very good times for me. I was working for a wonderful boss and with my best friend. We were a force to be reckoned with and there was the rub. It seemed that some folks didn't like the chumminess, so I was removed from Receiving and placed in the Can't Fill Department.
I made the position my own, excelling in my new job, despite being very unhappy at being separated from Tim and Todd. I was well-known and well-liked by most of my coworkers, and had developed a bit of infamy among members of management thanks to my song spoofs about work and my willingness to contribute artistically to the Cause. All in all, things were groovy. As jobs became available, I would apply in the hopes of furthering my career in the company and maybe making it to a level to where I felt like I was really part of the "business." I was still gullible and desiring of a prize that really never existed.
In 1990, an opportunity fell into my lap. I applied for a position in Quality Assurance. Thanks to my classes in college having to do with music theory and critical listening, I was promoted to Quality Analyst in the Special Products Department. I worked for a flaky woman who really had no clue, yet had a penchant for the women in the office. At one particularly humiliating moment, she placed her boobs on each side of my head as she supposedly "taught" me how to work a piece of electronic equipment. I was like a pornographic Princess Leia. Things weren't the best in the world, but at least I'd gotten a nice raise and was being paid for my analytical skills, plus I got to listen to music all day long.
A few months later, my weirdo boss was asked to resign and who should apply for her position but Timothy! Thus began the best seven years of my entire working career. Shortly after Tim came on board, Travis and Dominic came to the Quality Department. We made a great team, even though we were like the four directions on a compass. I developed a great relationship with the people in Special Products, particularly Stephanie and Cathy. Even Todd came to work in the front office for Special Products, so I had all my beloved homies with me as well as a great job. There were parties, practical jokes, comraderie on a level that is really hard to verbalise here.
Life was good.
Then came The Ax. BMG decided in 1997 that the company was no longer concerned with a certain level of quality and did away with the Quality Assurance department. I was essentially out of a job and was given the option to go back to the warehouse at over a dollar cut in pay or leave altogether. Given my financial situation, I had no choice but to swallow my pride and take the cut in pay. This happened the day after we were all given a bonus and big thank you, so you can imagine my instant disillusion. My time in the warehouse lasted approximately 3 months, at which time I was hired in a clerical capacity in the front office of Special Products.
Two weeks later a job came open in Special Order Services in the Distribution division of BMG. I wanted this job because it would allow me to hobnob with people at the labels. In a fit of disloyalty inspired by the "it's just business" treatment I had received a few months earlier, I went over my manager's head and actively pursued the job, speaking directly to the person would become my Feudal Mistress. A week later, I was in a different building, a different department, and answering to different managers. My responsibilities were initially Point of Purchase, MusicMasters, and BMG US Latin. Over the years my responsibilities would change, save for the Point of Purchase, which I made every effort to define in a new light.
I made such an impression, I was sent to New York for the annual POP meeting and was, for a time, groomed for a possible field position which never came through. It was at this time I realised that I would go no further than where I was. Karmically, I can understand this, because I saw all of my friends in Special Products lose their jobs to downsizing just a few months after I abandoned ship. A few of my homies thought I had had an inside scoop on the impending job loss and that's why I left so swiftly. That was never the case. It just happened that way. Still though, I feel guilt over how it all happened and how people suspect of me of being a deserter. Not so, but you can't change people's opinions.
Ever since August of 1997 I've been in SOS and I've seen BMG Distribution be handed over to Arvato Services. I've seen people come and go. I've seen labels flourish and fold. I've met some artists and have had the honour of attending concerts I would never have otherwise been able to go to had it not been for the kindness of people at the labels for which I worked. I've declined from a wide-eyed youngling with hope in her heart to a jaded middle-aged woman harbouring an overabundance of cynicism and pessimism. I've been made the scapegoat way too many times in the past eight years and I've seen too much of the ugliness that is the music business.
Here at the end of all things, it is time for me to move on and seek other opportunities. After an 18 year break from school, it's time for me to go back and learn more of the world. I've wasted too much of my time chasing a dream that never really existed. Even though I have grown jaded and world-weary when it comes to my job, I am also grateful for the experiences I've had and the friendships I've made. I've learned a lot and grown a lot in the past 18 years. And I've enjoyed a great deal of wonderful music and opportunity not offered to many people.
I'll miss the music and many of the lovely souls with whom I've formed a bond, but there are others deeds to be done and other horizons to strive toward. I don't regret my past, nor shall I regret my future.