Cadmus in Therapy

[tinhuviel]

My therapist tried to push me into talking about the main character in my book as an extension of myself, a sort of animus, or an expression of aspects of my personality. I clammed up. Cadmus is a murderer, rapist, and cannibal. I claim him as my demon child, but I think it's going a bit far to see him as me in written form. Sure there are

Comments

[tinhuviel]

My concern is that, if I do tell her about Cadmus, she'll want me to go into more intensive therapy because I may be a danger to others or myself. A lot of people don't deal with Cadmus well, especially her type, being the fluffy bunny that she is. I can only imagine her shock and revulsion at some of Cadmus' activities. If I let her read 'The Sainted Confessor,' she'd have me pegged as a potential serial murderer.

[tinhuviel]

I've already told her I'm a misanthropist and an introvert. Her reaction to that was to try to get me involved in more social activities. And I'm sure the therapists don't miss you if you were a difficult read. They feel like, if you refuse to fit into a neat little box, they're better off without you hanging around making them "look bad."

[waterdawg]

Hum... She can't see you as someone with a talent? Ability to write? Of course every writer puts some of *them* in their work - but your being mostly one character? Seems odd to me.

[tinhuviel]

She is so far inside a box, it's like we're speaking in different languages to each other. I actually told her that Cadmus was definitely outside the box and, from what little I told her about him, she wholeheartedly agreed.

[chris_walsh]

Can you imagine this happening in a funny way? Like Dr. Evil in group? "I had the group liquidated, you little shit! They were insolent!"

[tinhuviel]

Trust me, I was so tempted to spill my guts about Cadmus just to see the look on her face. "Oh yes, Rosa. Cadmus and I are like two peas in a pod, especially when he crucified and raped his own father. What do you think that says about me?"

ugh.

[fourish]

hey! i know i never comment, but i always read. ;}

i've been in your boat before, although in an opposite kind of way: i've gone to therapists and openly told them, "these are my characters, they are also archetypal parts of myself, my connections to the universe. some of them are dark, miserable, murderous, addicts...but they are still a part of me." the overwhelming result has always been the therapist inching away from me slowly or even handing me off to another therapist, and this has even happened with so-called Jungians (who should really know better).

so i guess my point is, i think the theory your therapist is proposing has a lot of merit (and i'd look into jung's concept of the shadow if you don't know about it already), but i totally understand your unwillingness to go down that road with her. i suppose what i'm saying is, cadmus may be a part of you in written form, but maybe that's none of your therapist's business. ironically enough.

[tinhuviel]

I agree, but I don't trust her enough to talk about Cadmus in any relevant way. Cadmus is definitely a part of me and I will never deny it; however, a lot of people can't separate fact from fiction and I think she'd be highly disturbed by my "child's" activities and what it means as far as my mental health.

[fourish]

heh, word. you're wise to protect your self-preservation that way. but definitely don't be ashamed of his expression. man, i hate therapists.

[bubblesbrnaid]

Well, that sounds familiar. Although mine was more in the line of wanting to diagnose me with dissociative identity disorder and pounced on the word "altar" as "alter."

Therapists have a wacky kind of block when it comes to creative types who have to create *people*. I don't know why creating Jerry Who Will Not Die is that much different from creating a piece of cross-stitching, myself.

On the bright side, a few glares and some extensive verbal hauling-back-to-the-main-topic, and she quit trying to do that. So stick to your guns, and be VERY clear that you know where the line between reality and fantasy is (because that's what they're most worried about, IME, especially with violence etc.).

I usually distract mine by mentioning how many times I've been crucified on the Dreamstage, but she looooooves analyzing dreams. I haven't quite broken her of that. Yet.

[tinhuviel]

Thanks for the insight. I could use all of it and advice I can get with this woman. It never fails that I leave her place with a raging headache, wanting to throttle anyone within my reach.