Alien meme
Stolen from the illustrious and thought-provoking ysabetwordsmith.
- If aliens were invading, what would you do, hide or wait by your TV? I'd go see what I could do to help them. Anything to further along the fall of humanity as supposed dominant species on the planet. The only thing that would make me change my plans would be to find out that the aliens intended to exploit Earth as much or more than humans ever did. I would then do whatever I could to fight them off, including seeking out Brent Spiner at Area 51 and finding out what he's learned about them and their technology.
- The aliens have landed and they haven't blown the planet to bits, how would you react if they looked like us? I'd be disappointed. More hairless monkeys. Great. Juuuust great. But I'd be even more disappointed if they looked like us with the exception of a bad prosthetic nose or brow ridge á la later Star Trek shows like Voyager (puke/gag/retch). That would be a total cosmic joke. I may be suspicious if they looked like us, but had to wear sunglasses and had funky voices, and small animals ran screaming from them. That might compel me to want to try to rip their skin off to see if there are green scales underneath. I've seen way too much science fiction in my life.
- What if the aliens were disgusting looking (like a pile of rotten cheese), then how would you react? I'd instantly run to their defense because, sure as hell, most everyone would be keen on killing them just because of their appearance. Does "NO KILL I" ring a bell to any of you assholes? Not you. Humanity. I'd have to protect them from the French in particular because, as we all know, French people just love rotten cheese (Bleu, anyone?) and would be hellbent on eating our space brothers whilst sipping on fine wine.
- The aliens are about to make an announcement and all communication goes out. Your neighbor says that she/he heard that the aliens have announced they are going to destroy Earth. Do you believe him/her? Why? No. How would any of my neighbours know if communication goes out? I'm the Borg of the neighbourhood, being hooked to Teh Intarwebs almost all the time so I know everything before anyone around here does. They would have to be lying or assuming the worst, so there's no way I could believe them. I'm inclined to disbelieve people anyway. A misanthrope's rule of thumb is you can tell a person is lying if its mouth is moving. Just sayin'.
- The aliens have announced that they will share their knowledge with humanity if a certain person has sex with one of them and they call your name. To make it more palatable, the alien can change into any porn star that you want. Knowing that your partner will find out if you say yes, will you do it? I'd make them give an example of the knowledge they have to share. It'd be kind of anti-climactic (pun intended) if I went through with it only to discover the knowledge they had to share was the Colonel's original recipe. All this for tasty fried chicken? And the porn star thing is just icky. I don't go in for the typical "attractive" human. If I looked at my sex partner and saw a porn star, all I would be able to think of would be the space herpe I was catching doing my part for the supposed advancement of the human race. The alien would have to morph into somebody I thought was attractive, like Darth Maul. Or Ed Kowalczyk. Or (obviously right now) the Joker. Since I don't have a partner right now, the third part of this question isn't an issue; however, given my proclivity for open relationships, having a partner and being propositioned by Darth Maul wouldn't be an issue. If it turned out to be an issue, Darth Maul would win because I've been in an relationship with him since 1999.