Llamas in the coming Alpaca Lips
The price of gas has gone beyond ridiculous. Beyond horrific. Beyond my ability to continue to afford. It's gotten to the point where I sincerely believe that the fuel crisis is yet another sign of the coming Alpaca Lips. Scooters and mopeds have increased in price because dealers are taking advantage of the sudden keen interest many Americans have taken in owning such a vehicle. I haven't enough land for a horse, nor do I have enough money to purchase and maintain a person of the equine persuasion. Oh, let me rephrase that: I have no money, even to buy a wee plastic horse you find in the toy department at Wal-Mart. But I do have abundant land for a llama and I have the perfect shelter for a camelid. Peruvians ride llamas all over the place. Why can't I ride a llama 2.5 miles to work and 2.5 miles back home? The shelter of which I speak is the building that houses the riding lawn mower. If I had a llama to graze the land, I wouldn't need the riding lawn mower. Problem solved. What's even better is I found a llama rescue place whose adoption fee is $250. I could sell the riding lawn mower to pay for the llama.
So I could ride the llama to work, carrying some llama chow or hay or whatever to keep the llama happy in a saddle bag, along with a large bowl that I'd keep full of cold water (ice included, courtesy of Cromer's bodacious ice machine which is on site). The llama could chill out in the shade of the patio right outside the canteen and be showered with affection not only by myself, but also by Röchling employees while they take their breaks. I can also keep an almost constant eye on the llama to make sure it was okay. Upon riding the llama home, my beloved critter could enjoy the llama chow and hay, but it could also eat all the grass it's little heart desired, and neither Llew nor I would have to worry about mowing the lawn very often, if at all.
The only wrench in my new Master Plan is my weight. I need to lose about 40 pounds in order to ride a llama standing at 12 hands without distressing the poor thing to the point of insanity. Given gas prices and my increasing inability to afford the accursed fuel, I may end up losing the weight by walking back and forth to work.
So I could ride the llama to work, carrying some llama chow or hay or whatever to keep the llama happy in a saddle bag, along with a large bowl that I'd keep full of cold water (ice included, courtesy of Cromer's bodacious ice machine which is on site). The llama could chill out in the shade of the patio right outside the canteen and be showered with affection not only by myself, but also by Röchling employees while they take their breaks. I can also keep an almost constant eye on the llama to make sure it was okay. Upon riding the llama home, my beloved critter could enjoy the llama chow and hay, but it could also eat all the grass it's little heart desired, and neither Llew nor I would have to worry about mowing the lawn very often, if at all.
The only wrench in my new Master Plan is my weight. I need to lose about 40 pounds in order to ride a llama standing at 12 hands without distressing the poor thing to the point of insanity. Given gas prices and my increasing inability to afford the accursed fuel, I may end up losing the weight by walking back and forth to work.