Long story short.
Well, having wanted to post something about my thoughts on movie/book reviews, I had hoped it would be more measured and thought out and less basely emotional.
But base emotion it is.
Oh my fucking God, am I the only one who actually WATCHES movies??
Alright, fine, people don't always like the same things. People don't look for the same things in movies. I get that. I respect that, I really do.
But for the love of God, my perspective cannot be so alien, can it?
Making the mistake of reading a review (I almost never make that mistake, but I have a habit of reflexively reading pages that come up under google images searches,) I found that apparently, Daywatch is the completely coherent movie, and that Nightwatch was the mess of underexplained subplots.
One, there are no goddamned subplots in Nightwatch, people. Everything ties into Anton. If I had to tell you that, you slept through the goddamed movie.
Here's a rich seletion:
Watching Night Watch was an incredibly frustrating experience, with major subplots (like the Svetlana vortex) completely opaque.
...? The vortex of damnation? Really, that was... that was challenging for you? It's a fucking vortex of damnation. Not only is it self-fucking-explanatory, but every aspect of it is explained down to the smallest detail. Every. Fucking. Aspect. It's destructive power, who created it, how to defuse it... we spend an entire scene on it's history alone! What the good living fuck more do you need??
And yet this same reviewer, so completely baffled by a, (okay, again, it's a vortex of damnation, do you even have to know more then that?) by a vortex makes no mention, none at all, of the tinfoil ball of doom.
Oh, god, goodness no. Nightwatch, what with it's curses and vortexs and bothering to explain things... it was so incomprehensible. But the completely not at all explained tinfoil ball of doom... yes! Yes that's the direction future movies should go in! God, it makes so much sense now!
Let's not even get into the snow face.
I accepted that Daywatch didn't have enough time to explain things like Nightwatch did. However, I can't help but think I'm living through the fucking looking glass, where we only make sense every other day. (And since today can't be any other day then it is...)
You know, people did the exact same thing to Threshold. The Doctor would be doing an autopsy, a character would needlessly ask what he was doing, he would then needlessly state that he was doing an autopsy, and people would get on forums and complain they didn't know why he was cutting open a dead body.
Come fucking on people. It could not be more obvious if God carved it into your forehead. No one could be that stupid and still manage to feed themselves on a daily basis. These people are the strongest argument against the theory of natural selection.
But fine... okay, fine. Fine. Maybe they really didn't get it. Maybe they missed half of it, or the subtitles were off, or they know Russian and the original Russian version is just a big giant mess. Or maybe it just really didn't click in their minds. I can accept that. I really can.
But why... in the goddamed hell, pretend like Daywatch was better??
Was Daywatch an incomprehensible mess? No! But it certainly left more unexplained then Nightwatch did! So how in bloody goddamned hell can one say the lesser explained fifty gillion plotlines is actually more clear and coherent then the basically straightforward story of Anton?
Why? Why someone whose name I can't care less about, who is no doubt paid to write reviews for movies they have obviously not seen, why would you pretend you actually believe this?
You are not fucking fooling me. I can only assume you are being purposely obtuse with the sole intention of frustrating me into an early heart attack. It's a conspiracy. May you and all your mindless reviewer kind die by tragically misinterpreting a "slippery when wet" sign.
That said, I hated Eragon. But I assume all negative reviews were merely proof of the Stopped Watch theory.
I promise more logic and less ranting next time.
But base emotion it is.
Oh my fucking God, am I the only one who actually WATCHES movies??
Alright, fine, people don't always like the same things. People don't look for the same things in movies. I get that. I respect that, I really do.
But for the love of God, my perspective cannot be so alien, can it?
Making the mistake of reading a review (I almost never make that mistake, but I have a habit of reflexively reading pages that come up under google images searches,) I found that apparently, Daywatch is the completely coherent movie, and that Nightwatch was the mess of underexplained subplots.
One, there are no goddamned subplots in Nightwatch, people. Everything ties into Anton. If I had to tell you that, you slept through the goddamed movie.
Here's a rich seletion:
Watching Night Watch was an incredibly frustrating experience, with major subplots (like the Svetlana vortex) completely opaque.
...? The vortex of damnation? Really, that was... that was challenging for you? It's a fucking vortex of damnation. Not only is it self-fucking-explanatory, but every aspect of it is explained down to the smallest detail. Every. Fucking. Aspect. It's destructive power, who created it, how to defuse it... we spend an entire scene on it's history alone! What the good living fuck more do you need??
And yet this same reviewer, so completely baffled by a, (okay, again, it's a vortex of damnation, do you even have to know more then that?) by a vortex makes no mention, none at all, of the tinfoil ball of doom.
Oh, god, goodness no. Nightwatch, what with it's curses and vortexs and bothering to explain things... it was so incomprehensible. But the completely not at all explained tinfoil ball of doom... yes! Yes that's the direction future movies should go in! God, it makes so much sense now!
Let's not even get into the snow face.
I accepted that Daywatch didn't have enough time to explain things like Nightwatch did. However, I can't help but think I'm living through the fucking looking glass, where we only make sense every other day. (And since today can't be any other day then it is...)
You know, people did the exact same thing to Threshold. The Doctor would be doing an autopsy, a character would needlessly ask what he was doing, he would then needlessly state that he was doing an autopsy, and people would get on forums and complain they didn't know why he was cutting open a dead body.
Come fucking on people. It could not be more obvious if God carved it into your forehead. No one could be that stupid and still manage to feed themselves on a daily basis. These people are the strongest argument against the theory of natural selection.
But fine... okay, fine. Fine. Maybe they really didn't get it. Maybe they missed half of it, or the subtitles were off, or they know Russian and the original Russian version is just a big giant mess. Or maybe it just really didn't click in their minds. I can accept that. I really can.
But why... in the goddamed hell, pretend like Daywatch was better??
Was Daywatch an incomprehensible mess? No! But it certainly left more unexplained then Nightwatch did! So how in bloody goddamned hell can one say the lesser explained fifty gillion plotlines is actually more clear and coherent then the basically straightforward story of Anton?
Why? Why someone whose name I can't care less about, who is no doubt paid to write reviews for movies they have obviously not seen, why would you pretend you actually believe this?
You are not fucking fooling me. I can only assume you are being purposely obtuse with the sole intention of frustrating me into an early heart attack. It's a conspiracy. May you and all your mindless reviewer kind die by tragically misinterpreting a "slippery when wet" sign.
That said, I hated Eragon. But I assume all negative reviews were merely proof of the Stopped Watch theory.
I promise more logic and less ranting next time.