Invigilators, please.
Dear invigilators (A-level or otherwise), please read the following in order to stop yourself from being as annoying as you currently are:
Things to never do while invigilating - like, ever.
1. Stop, I beg you, stop, walking around the place. You have no idea, I repeat myself, no idea, how painfully annoying and incredibly irritating that is. I don't care if you want to take a stroll in the place, if you want to stop yourself from peeing, if you want to ease the restlessness you have from standing around the place for three hours. Yes, I recognise that your job is tiring and boring. But there are just a few students around you who do not have the luxury of walking around the place for three hours. These students are furiously scribbling answers - answers that require thought and analysis - to the most important examination of their lives, and they really, really do not need people in loud purple shirts to walk up and down the same row again and again, FOR THREE HOURS, to distract them from said analysis and thought. Because when you do that, I really have to physically restrain myself from raising my hand and telling you "Excuse me, but would you please stop walking around the bloody place and stopping right in front of my table like that actually helps? Thank you. Also, can I have another sheet of paper?" Clearly, that is embarrassing for both you and I - so stop, stop, stop walking around the place.
Also, another point to add to this - when you walk around the examination hall, here are a few useful tips. First, wear earth colours - not purple, hot pink, bright orange. These hurt my eyes, and I can very clearly see your clothes from my peripheral vision, which would be a useful thing for you to have to notice that students are glaring at you to freaking stop walking around the damn hall. Also, when you walk, take light steps. You know, steps that do not require you to dig your heels in and pretend to be the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk. Also, it would really help if you were just a teeny bit self-aware to not smile at me when I am glaring at you to bloody stop your feet from taking such deep steps to dig holes into the MPH floor.
2. Don't wear heels. This is kind of related to walking around the place, but some invigilators minimise that and only walk/ trot/ gallop when they need to give their students paper. I appreciate these invigilators; God knows I really do. But bear in mind that when you run to these students, the clackety-clack of your heels follow you - and the hard floors don't exactly absorb sound. And no, nobody needs to hear the rhythm of your steps when rushing for time to complete really awkward Lit and Econs questions.
3. Don't wear perfume or cologne. Please. If you really want to, like if you're going for your lunch date with your boyfriend and don't have time to wear it later, wear it lightly. No one in the hall needs to know what type of perfume you're wearing, and frankly, if you're wearing perfume that is not nice, really, nobody will be interested.
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I will add on to this list when I remember more things or when other invigilators annoy me during Human Geog on Friday. For now, I'm really sleepy and I have enforced the line more strongly than ever while being open to change how does that work hmm whatever six essays in one day wow who planned this exam schedule, seriously. "With a sudden flood of exhaust we were off." I like how the car exhaust in that line mirrors the exhaust of everyone in that scene. Probably the nicest line in Oranges. Which reminds me, I am glad to be done with Women in Lit. That was tiring. I will miss Reading Lit though - Wuthering Heights especially. Not really Econs, maybe Physical Geog, probably Human Geog, not Math, no.
Things to never do while invigilating - like, ever.
1. Stop, I beg you, stop, walking around the place. You have no idea, I repeat myself, no idea, how painfully annoying and incredibly irritating that is. I don't care if you want to take a stroll in the place, if you want to stop yourself from peeing, if you want to ease the restlessness you have from standing around the place for three hours. Yes, I recognise that your job is tiring and boring. But there are just a few students around you who do not have the luxury of walking around the place for three hours. These students are furiously scribbling answers - answers that require thought and analysis - to the most important examination of their lives, and they really, really do not need people in loud purple shirts to walk up and down the same row again and again, FOR THREE HOURS, to distract them from said analysis and thought. Because when you do that, I really have to physically restrain myself from raising my hand and telling you "Excuse me, but would you please stop walking around the bloody place and stopping right in front of my table like that actually helps? Thank you. Also, can I have another sheet of paper?" Clearly, that is embarrassing for both you and I - so stop, stop, stop walking around the place.
Also, another point to add to this - when you walk around the examination hall, here are a few useful tips. First, wear earth colours - not purple, hot pink, bright orange. These hurt my eyes, and I can very clearly see your clothes from my peripheral vision, which would be a useful thing for you to have to notice that students are glaring at you to freaking stop walking around the damn hall. Also, when you walk, take light steps. You know, steps that do not require you to dig your heels in and pretend to be the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk. Also, it would really help if you were just a teeny bit self-aware to not smile at me when I am glaring at you to bloody stop your feet from taking such deep steps to dig holes into the MPH floor.
2. Don't wear heels. This is kind of related to walking around the place, but some invigilators minimise that and only walk/ trot/ gallop when they need to give their students paper. I appreciate these invigilators; God knows I really do. But bear in mind that when you run to these students, the clackety-clack of your heels follow you - and the hard floors don't exactly absorb sound. And no, nobody needs to hear the rhythm of your steps when rushing for time to complete really awkward Lit and Econs questions.
3. Don't wear perfume or cologne. Please. If you really want to, like if you're going for your lunch date with your boyfriend and don't have time to wear it later, wear it lightly. No one in the hall needs to know what type of perfume you're wearing, and frankly, if you're wearing perfume that is not nice, really, nobody will be interested.
-
I will add on to this list when I remember more things or when other invigilators annoy me during Human Geog on Friday. For now, I'm really sleepy and I have enforced the line more strongly than ever while being open to change how does that work hmm whatever six essays in one day wow who planned this exam schedule, seriously. "With a sudden flood of exhaust we were off." I like how the car exhaust in that line mirrors the exhaust of everyone in that scene. Probably the nicest line in Oranges. Which reminds me, I am glad to be done with Women in Lit. That was tiring. I will miss Reading Lit though - Wuthering Heights especially. Not really Econs, maybe Physical Geog, probably Human Geog, not Math, no.