grrrrrrr

[tingsimsmore]

i hate how i can't really fucking say what i really want to say on LJ.
i just want to fucking vent.
i just want to fucking scream about shit sometimes.
and i can't.
for fear of hurting feelings.
or for fear of saying the wrong things.
or whatever bullshit there is.
LJ is a fucking joke.
online journals are a fucking joke.
cause you can never REALLY say what you want to say.
ever.
sometimes i just want to write & only have certain people read it.
certain people that wont judge.
people that can just be cool about shit.
and obviously i can't just write it.
sometimes i just want to write shit & have nobody read it,
but then i end up getting so fucking sick of myself
because i write about the same fucking shit all the time.
i hate myself so much sometimes.
i shouldn't even be mad.
fuck this.
ugh.
but yet i am mad.
and i want to just go off.
i wish i could fucking sever the ties with this person.
i never see her ever anymore, but she's always around via myspace & shit.
and she will ALWAYS be inbetween this situation.
she will ALWAYS be a part of it.
i think i will ALWAYS hold a grudge toward her.
unfairly of course.
atleast i think it's an unfair grudge.
i don't know everything.
i just can't fucking let it go.
fuck this.
and fuck her.