It stings
Kayne west's song Coldest Winter really put a sharp pain in my chest today.
Memories made in the coldest winter
Goodbye, my friend, I won't ever love again
Never again
it shouldn't of really bothered me much, but it still does. I like to tell myself how, "Yeah fuck this shit. I don't need her or anything." making a fake facebook account only to marry Excedrin (drug etc) in a joking fashion. But at the same time, it still bothers me. Alot of it does. How it went down, the unfinished feeling there is about it. My sudden frustration with the whole thing in itself. Probably my sexual frustration of not enjoying any sort of "anything" for almost half a year now. I mean what am i to say that anyway. Never had sex. Only group oriented pleasuring. There was never any penetration, and i can sit here and say I need to get laid.
You know. Maybe thats what it is. Maybe i DO need to get laid. I always hated that suggestion, and I could never see myself to just pine up some random girl i meet up at a bar (because i totally do that.) It's not how i roll. I want to save my pleasure and contact with someone i know i can trust and know that I can be happy with. It's a shame that everyone who i've trusted my body to had ended up failing me in the end. Not that its their fault I guess, hormones are wonderful curses, its not their fault they need to be loved by others when the one they wanted more is not around. Though what do i know.
I think my caffine bush is dying down at last. My wife does terrible things to my body.
Memories made in the coldest winter
Goodbye, my friend, I won't ever love again
Never again
it shouldn't of really bothered me much, but it still does. I like to tell myself how, "Yeah fuck this shit. I don't need her or anything." making a fake facebook account only to marry Excedrin (drug etc) in a joking fashion. But at the same time, it still bothers me. Alot of it does. How it went down, the unfinished feeling there is about it. My sudden frustration with the whole thing in itself. Probably my sexual frustration of not enjoying any sort of "anything" for almost half a year now. I mean what am i to say that anyway. Never had sex. Only group oriented pleasuring. There was never any penetration, and i can sit here and say I need to get laid.
You know. Maybe thats what it is. Maybe i DO need to get laid. I always hated that suggestion, and I could never see myself to just pine up some random girl i meet up at a bar (because i totally do that.) It's not how i roll. I want to save my pleasure and contact with someone i know i can trust and know that I can be happy with. It's a shame that everyone who i've trusted my body to had ended up failing me in the end. Not that its their fault I guess, hormones are wonderful curses, its not their fault they need to be loved by others when the one they wanted more is not around. Though what do i know.
I think my caffine bush is dying down at last. My wife does terrible things to my body.