Ryutaro's feelings
Title: Ryutaro's feelings
Pairing: None really. Ryu x JUMP, hinted RyuShin
Genre: angst angst angst
Rating: PG
Word count: 668 words
"Crazy? But, Magic Power~"
Ryutaro sat in the dark living room as he watched the CM fade into another CM. The room was dark, as if engulfing him, pulling him over to their side and there, the screen glared so brightly.
JUMP shining so brightly.. without him.
His mind wasn't registering what was on the tv anymore as it drifts off someplace else.
JUMP is releasing a single. Soon. And without him.
He had no idea how he should be feeling now. Sadness? Pain? Or regret? Numbness. That was all he had for now.
He can't blame anyone, it was a wrong move, but it was his move.
His trust in people decrease by the minute and he feels alone.
The house was quiet except for the fade sound coming from the television programme, everyone was alseep. It's late at night.
Ryutaro slumped back in the sofa and closed his eyes, the bright white screen swimming in his mind.
"Doshiyo..."
Maybe.. his fate lies someplace else. Maybe.. this is not his thing after all.
Many times, he considered quitting but he never did. He couldn't do it. Leave something he had been doing since young, it's painful, it's difficult, it's not something that can be done easily.
Sometimes, as he watch Shounen Club, he wishes that he's back there on the stage, singing and dancing, and more importantly smiling happily. It was tiring, it may be difficult, but it has always been a happy moment, carefree if you must say.
And what's more, you had friends with you. Friends that you can trust, friend whom you can share things with, friends.. that he misses so much.
He missed playing around with Takaki, disturbing him when he can and then the having that stupid fight.
He missed talking to Yabu about soccer, someone who he can share his passion with, and someone whom he can count on.
He missed getting hugged by Dai-chan, being tackled by him and hearing his cute laughter.
He misses Chinen, that chibi that always try to get onto his laps, snuggling away and acting spoilt.
He missed messing with Yamada, squabbling with him and occasionally battle him to random things.
He missed chatting with Keito, talking about anything under the world and then laughing afterwards.
He misses Yuto, his hyperness, his cheerfulness and his smile that's always there.
He missed watching Inoo as he does his homework, when he start being random and seeing him give that soft smile.
And last of all, he misses Hikaru, he even missed being pranked and being around that cheerful bright light.
He missed JUMP. He missed being in JUMP and he wants to return to them, to the place where he'll be most at ease.
Ryutaro sighed as he turned off the television.. he sat there for a moment longer before getting up and head back to bed. Shintaro was fast asleep, tired from school and dance practice. He knew how that felt and so, from that point onwards, he made it a point to not disturb him any further.
"Nii..chan."
Shintaro mumbled and pulled his blankets further up, protecting his body from the cold.
Ryutaro smiled slightly as he watched his brother.
He missed him too, fighting ever so often backstage, walking back home together, playing along whenever they could.
He didn't realised he had been distancing himself away from everyone. He didn't know what he was doing. All Ryutaro know was the harsh truth, the fact that he has been punished, been betrayed and been thrown out of his usual lifestyle.
But who can he blame?
Silently he pat Shintaro's head before crawling back into his bed, pulling the blanket up over his head and hiding in the only warmth he can manage. It wasn't enough to fill the hole in his heart but at least, it was something.
He felt something wet fell and knew he was crying again. Maybe, it would clear his sadness away...
Sleep is the only way he can escape.
_________________________________________
A/N: I know I know. Angst angst angst. It was kinda like a sudden hit thing, and I just felt like writing it. Ryu keep popping up time to time today and I really miss him.
I read a long passage for JUMP's anniversary, where a fan wrote how everyone's waiting for him.
I listened to Thank you and heard his "Domo, Morimoto Ryutaro desu. 15 sai desu." and realised I missed his voice a lot.
I listened to OkaMori's radio and wondered if he'll still laugh so freely, still go "Hey! What's up!'
I saw JUMP's upcoming appearance on Coming Soon!! news and wonder what'll happen if Ryu's still in JUMP.
Basically... just emo-ing? Haha. I guess.
My note's so long.
Uh.. don't be so depressed after reading this if it does. Gomen ne?
It's 10 JUMP forever and I'll wait for the day he return.
Pairing: None really. Ryu x JUMP, hinted RyuShin
Genre: angst angst angst
Rating: PG
Word count: 668 words
"Crazy? But, Magic Power~"
Ryutaro sat in the dark living room as he watched the CM fade into another CM. The room was dark, as if engulfing him, pulling him over to their side and there, the screen glared so brightly.
JUMP shining so brightly.. without him.
His mind wasn't registering what was on the tv anymore as it drifts off someplace else.
JUMP is releasing a single. Soon. And without him.
He had no idea how he should be feeling now. Sadness? Pain? Or regret? Numbness. That was all he had for now.
He can't blame anyone, it was a wrong move, but it was his move.
His trust in people decrease by the minute and he feels alone.
The house was quiet except for the fade sound coming from the television programme, everyone was alseep. It's late at night.
Ryutaro slumped back in the sofa and closed his eyes, the bright white screen swimming in his mind.
"Doshiyo..."
Maybe.. his fate lies someplace else. Maybe.. this is not his thing after all.
Many times, he considered quitting but he never did. He couldn't do it. Leave something he had been doing since young, it's painful, it's difficult, it's not something that can be done easily.
Sometimes, as he watch Shounen Club, he wishes that he's back there on the stage, singing and dancing, and more importantly smiling happily. It was tiring, it may be difficult, but it has always been a happy moment, carefree if you must say.
And what's more, you had friends with you. Friends that you can trust, friend whom you can share things with, friends.. that he misses so much.
He missed playing around with Takaki, disturbing him when he can and then the having that stupid fight.
He missed talking to Yabu about soccer, someone who he can share his passion with, and someone whom he can count on.
He missed getting hugged by Dai-chan, being tackled by him and hearing his cute laughter.
He misses Chinen, that chibi that always try to get onto his laps, snuggling away and acting spoilt.
He missed messing with Yamada, squabbling with him and occasionally battle him to random things.
He missed chatting with Keito, talking about anything under the world and then laughing afterwards.
He misses Yuto, his hyperness, his cheerfulness and his smile that's always there.
He missed watching Inoo as he does his homework, when he start being random and seeing him give that soft smile.
And last of all, he misses Hikaru, he even missed being pranked and being around that cheerful bright light.
He missed JUMP. He missed being in JUMP and he wants to return to them, to the place where he'll be most at ease.
Ryutaro sighed as he turned off the television.. he sat there for a moment longer before getting up and head back to bed. Shintaro was fast asleep, tired from school and dance practice. He knew how that felt and so, from that point onwards, he made it a point to not disturb him any further.
"Nii..chan."
Shintaro mumbled and pulled his blankets further up, protecting his body from the cold.
Ryutaro smiled slightly as he watched his brother.
He missed him too, fighting ever so often backstage, walking back home together, playing along whenever they could.
He didn't realised he had been distancing himself away from everyone. He didn't know what he was doing. All Ryutaro know was the harsh truth, the fact that he has been punished, been betrayed and been thrown out of his usual lifestyle.
But who can he blame?
Silently he pat Shintaro's head before crawling back into his bed, pulling the blanket up over his head and hiding in the only warmth he can manage. It wasn't enough to fill the hole in his heart but at least, it was something.
He felt something wet fell and knew he was crying again. Maybe, it would clear his sadness away...
Sleep is the only way he can escape.
_________________________________________
A/N: I know I know. Angst angst angst. It was kinda like a sudden hit thing, and I just felt like writing it. Ryu keep popping up time to time today and I really miss him.
I read a long passage for JUMP's anniversary, where a fan wrote how everyone's waiting for him.
I listened to Thank you and heard his "Domo, Morimoto Ryutaro desu. 15 sai desu." and realised I missed his voice a lot.
I listened to OkaMori's radio and wondered if he'll still laugh so freely, still go "Hey! What's up!'
I saw JUMP's upcoming appearance on Coming Soon!! news and wonder what'll happen if Ryu's still in JUMP.
Basically... just emo-ing? Haha. I guess.
My note's so long.
Uh.. don't be so depressed after reading this if it does. Gomen ne?
It's 10 JUMP forever and I'll wait for the day he return.