never realise part 4
23 January 2010..Super Show II in Beijing..finally it's the day...
Everyone was so busy..me too..i keep myself busy.that's the only things that I afford to do...to keep my mind away from the disturbing thing, from the sad thing..Once a while, the members will patted my mind and check if I'm ok..and I will just smile...pretended that I'm ok although I'm not...
In the stage..i felt totally lost..someone who always beside me is no longer..i could see hankyung board holding by the fan and my heart felt pain but i tried to stay strong, not wanting to let the fan know that I'm sad..
but when it's shining star time, my seat...is a wrong one...
why...why..
from the many many seat, i have to seat with the one that face hankyung board and it's the bigger one...i tried to keep my gaze away but the effect already take place..unknowingly..my eyes started to become teary..the tears that i try to keep...now is flowing...i could hear the fan shouting my name and uljima..but...my heart is so much in pain that i could not stop the tears...
After the song ended..i quickly go to the backstage..my others members and the staff was so shocked to see my face..the tears that they didn't dare to approach me..
Super Show II Beijing..it's was so painful to me..the first time without my EVERYTHING!!!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Hankyung pov
I heard the news and my heart aches so much that no words can describe the pain that I felt..bianne..bianne Heechul..bianne because I have made you cried...
bianne..bianne...that's the only thing that I can said right now..
When I'm ready.. will personally said this words to you..but right now...please..please find your smile again...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
After Super Show II Beijing ended and we went to Korea, i'll try to live as usual...although my body move and keep working...my mind seems off to somewhere..and this make me more tired day after day...
"hyung...come..i safe spot for you in the dance..." Eunhyuk said to me one day..i just staring at him..
:hyung.are you listening?"
Suddenly..my tears flowing..
"Hyung..wae gu re?"
I don't know why I'm crying myself but hearing Eunhyuk said like that just make my tears flow..
All the members come near me and asking if i'm ok or if i need anything...I just keep staring at them..and suddenly realisation hit me....how stupid I am..i have great donsaeng and teukie hyung that really care for me but i'm just being the stupid one who always worried them..
this is not me..definitely not KIM HEECHUL..
"I'm ok...", with that I get up..
"Yah..hurry up...eunhyuk..u need to teach me the dance step.."
Eunhyuk shock..the rest of them also could not believe the ears...but i just ignore the shocking face and keep dancing to the new song...new album..BONAMANA...
I, KIM HEECHUL will live a new life...will find my smile and energy back although there's no u anymore...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Everyone was so busy..me too..i keep myself busy.that's the only things that I afford to do...to keep my mind away from the disturbing thing, from the sad thing..Once a while, the members will patted my mind and check if I'm ok..and I will just smile...pretended that I'm ok although I'm not...
In the stage..i felt totally lost..someone who always beside me is no longer..i could see hankyung board holding by the fan and my heart felt pain but i tried to stay strong, not wanting to let the fan know that I'm sad..
but when it's shining star time, my seat...is a wrong one...
why...why..
from the many many seat, i have to seat with the one that face hankyung board and it's the bigger one...i tried to keep my gaze away but the effect already take place..unknowingly..my eyes started to become teary..the tears that i try to keep...now is flowing...i could hear the fan shouting my name and uljima..but...my heart is so much in pain that i could not stop the tears...
After the song ended..i quickly go to the backstage..my others members and the staff was so shocked to see my face..the tears that they didn't dare to approach me..
Super Show II Beijing..it's was so painful to me..the first time without my EVERYTHING!!!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Hankyung pov
I heard the news and my heart aches so much that no words can describe the pain that I felt..bianne..bianne Heechul..bianne because I have made you cried...
bianne..bianne...that's the only thing that I can said right now..
When I'm ready.. will personally said this words to you..but right now...please..please find your smile again...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
After Super Show II Beijing ended and we went to Korea, i'll try to live as usual...although my body move and keep working...my mind seems off to somewhere..and this make me more tired day after day...
"hyung...come..i safe spot for you in the dance..." Eunhyuk said to me one day..i just staring at him..
:hyung.are you listening?"
Suddenly..my tears flowing..
"Hyung..wae gu re?"
I don't know why I'm crying myself but hearing Eunhyuk said like that just make my tears flow..
All the members come near me and asking if i'm ok or if i need anything...I just keep staring at them..and suddenly realisation hit me....how stupid I am..i have great donsaeng and teukie hyung that really care for me but i'm just being the stupid one who always worried them..
this is not me..definitely not KIM HEECHUL..
"I'm ok...", with that I get up..
"Yah..hurry up...eunhyuk..u need to teach me the dance step.."
Eunhyuk shock..the rest of them also could not believe the ears...but i just ignore the shocking face and keep dancing to the new song...new album..BONAMANA...
I, KIM HEECHUL will live a new life...will find my smile and energy back although there's no u anymore...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>