lets be honest.
i feel sad. that all i am worth is those status on whatsapp.
that no matter how much i tried, i end up feeling reluctant to let go.
i reminisced.
when i was with yw, i had bad times. i felt sad. but i was touched. by his letters and the paper ring. and of course.. how he really did try to side me when his bball buddy qiuxi was always against me.
we didnt have too much of memories. perhaps that was a good thing.
then was jas. tbh i enjoyed my time with her. yes i got jealous easily.
i still do.
but when i was with her, i was mainly happy. she gave me lots of excitement and challenges. intellectual stimulation.
even though i really hated how she ignores me and never did put enough time for me... i was still glad she tolerated me. sending me to work, picking me up, waiting for me and sending me home.. i really took her for granted at that time.
we created so many things tgt. the silly games the silly songs the silly things.. and of course, we had a child.. jungle..
i stopped remembering to take care of my image. we became too domestic.
but it was one good time i had with her..
as for zb.. i guess the most similar attribute amongst them three is.. they will always not chase after me.
i will always be alone.. and not being pulled back.
he treats me well enough.. but he never cherishes me nor took care of my heart.
he does little little romantic stuff. like playing me songs... making me cards... and even cooking..
but in his world, there should only be love when there is happiness.
but thats not reality.
reality is finding love during downtimes.. and love during downtimes will turn the frown back into a smile.
its been a month plus.. and i still rcv no calls from him.
i know sc will probably not be the right person.. but... i am not even giving myself a chance to try things out.
be it with sc or anyone else.
i feel sad for zb. for losing me. and i feel sad for myself.. that i am just not cherished enough...
that no matter how much i tried, i end up feeling reluctant to let go.
i reminisced.
when i was with yw, i had bad times. i felt sad. but i was touched. by his letters and the paper ring. and of course.. how he really did try to side me when his bball buddy qiuxi was always against me.
we didnt have too much of memories. perhaps that was a good thing.
then was jas. tbh i enjoyed my time with her. yes i got jealous easily.
i still do.
but when i was with her, i was mainly happy. she gave me lots of excitement and challenges. intellectual stimulation.
even though i really hated how she ignores me and never did put enough time for me... i was still glad she tolerated me. sending me to work, picking me up, waiting for me and sending me home.. i really took her for granted at that time.
we created so many things tgt. the silly games the silly songs the silly things.. and of course, we had a child.. jungle..
i stopped remembering to take care of my image. we became too domestic.
but it was one good time i had with her..
as for zb.. i guess the most similar attribute amongst them three is.. they will always not chase after me.
i will always be alone.. and not being pulled back.
he treats me well enough.. but he never cherishes me nor took care of my heart.
he does little little romantic stuff. like playing me songs... making me cards... and even cooking..
but in his world, there should only be love when there is happiness.
but thats not reality.
reality is finding love during downtimes.. and love during downtimes will turn the frown back into a smile.
its been a month plus.. and i still rcv no calls from him.
i know sc will probably not be the right person.. but... i am not even giving myself a chance to try things out.
be it with sc or anyone else.
i feel sad for zb. for losing me. and i feel sad for myself.. that i am just not cherished enough...