Advice of the Day (11/1) -- or, Happy Peanut Butter Lovers' Month!
Recently, Krista (ladyfriend) posted a picture of the two of us on her myspace. I'll not repost it here because, gawrsh, I look awful.
But that's the whole point, actually. Y'see, although it's supposed to be endearing and sweet and woot-de-la-woot-woot and all... I'm not smiling. Julia, Krista's sister took issue with this: "he should be smiling!!!!"
Four exclamation points?
I had to form SOME sort of response now.
And so I did:
I was concentrating on not messing up the picture! You see, I didn't actually take this. There was a talking deer in the woods who, as though being able to talk wasn't enough, also had a background in photography. So naturally, since we wanted a photo of the two of us together in all our pale glory, I handed my camera over to said deer when he offered to take our picture. However, he failed to mention that he also had a history of petty thefts -- seventeen cameras, mostly digital, and a few phones, they police told us later. Upon being given my camera and telling us to pose, the deer literally tried to hoof it out of there. It was a total set-up: he had even hired a renegade squirrel (they aren't all in my good graces) to dispatch us with a series of acorns she pelted directly at our temples -- the police said they were a husband-and-wife team -- while he thumblessly attempted to clutch my camera, much as I try to use chopsticks. Anyway, the whole enterprise was an utter failure, because as the deer tried to back away, muttering something about not knowing which button was which, I leaned in to show him, placing one finger on the shutter. The force of the deer trying to move off combined with that of my finger on the button, and so this photo was taken. Krista still has a bit of a grin because, just seconds before, I had whispered something in her ear about my plans to organize a dancing cupcake troupe -- one with actual dancing cupcakes, not just people in costumes like last time. Her thoughts are still on that, and so she has yet to realize the attempted theft at hand. Or at hoof, to be more precise.
And THAT is why I'm not smiling.
* * * * *
Which brings me, of course, to the obvious piece of advice: never trust a talking deer with your camera ... at least, not without first considering the animal's character, as well as your immediate surroundings.
But that's the whole point, actually. Y'see, although it's supposed to be endearing and sweet and woot-de-la-woot-woot and all... I'm not smiling. Julia, Krista's sister took issue with this: "he should be smiling!!!!"
Four exclamation points?
I had to form SOME sort of response now.
And so I did:
I was concentrating on not messing up the picture! You see, I didn't actually take this. There was a talking deer in the woods who, as though being able to talk wasn't enough, also had a background in photography. So naturally, since we wanted a photo of the two of us together in all our pale glory, I handed my camera over to said deer when he offered to take our picture. However, he failed to mention that he also had a history of petty thefts -- seventeen cameras, mostly digital, and a few phones, they police told us later. Upon being given my camera and telling us to pose, the deer literally tried to hoof it out of there. It was a total set-up: he had even hired a renegade squirrel (they aren't all in my good graces) to dispatch us with a series of acorns she pelted directly at our temples -- the police said they were a husband-and-wife team -- while he thumblessly attempted to clutch my camera, much as I try to use chopsticks. Anyway, the whole enterprise was an utter failure, because as the deer tried to back away, muttering something about not knowing which button was which, I leaned in to show him, placing one finger on the shutter. The force of the deer trying to move off combined with that of my finger on the button, and so this photo was taken. Krista still has a bit of a grin because, just seconds before, I had whispered something in her ear about my plans to organize a dancing cupcake troupe -- one with actual dancing cupcakes, not just people in costumes like last time. Her thoughts are still on that, and so she has yet to realize the attempted theft at hand. Or at hoof, to be more precise.
And THAT is why I'm not smiling.
* * * * *
Which brings me, of course, to the obvious piece of advice: never trust a talking deer with your camera ... at least, not without first considering the animal's character, as well as your immediate surroundings.