fanmix: Heaviness In My Head
Medium: Book
Fandom: Harry Potter
Subject: Remus Lupin [heavily implied Remus/Sirius]
Title: Heaviness In My Head
Notes: for the angst challenge at waywardmixes
Warnings: mentions of suicide
remus lupin is a wizard, who was bitten by a werewolf when he was quite small.
He manages to bind himself closely to a close group of classmates and stumbles out of school fighting a war.
When he's 21, Sirius Black betrays them all and kills all his closest friends. 12 years later, he learns that was a lie.
But these are the years that take up the middle.
[the fall of Voldemort]
Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) | Niia Bertino
Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.
Music played, and people sang
Just for me, the church bells rang.
[grief and waste]
Love Is A Losing Game | Amy Winehouse
Self-professed profound
Till the chips were down
Know you're a gambling man
Love is a losing hand
[haunting]
Washed Up | Hannah Williams & The Tastemakers
Baby, I thought you'd be there
when I was runnin' scared
When I needed your love
[suicide | found]
Nothing But The Water | Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
I have fallen so many times
For the devil's sweet, cunning rhymes
This old world
Has brought me pain
But there's hope
For me againThey were gone. Everyone he knew.
Dumbledore had found him, face down in a river with a needle in one hand and a bottle in the other.
You were always exceptional at defense, Mr. Lupin. The headmaster had remarked at his bedside, three days after.
No thanks, he didn't need an old man's pity. Snape could have that. He didn't need anything but a ticket and to be free of these demons.
[straighten up | travels out of Britain]
The Man Says | Ruby Velle & the Soulphonics
The man says get a job
But what good will that do?
The man knows I won't reach way up
way up like his reaches do
And anywhere has gotta be better than here
[isolation]
When You Were Young [Acoustic] | The Killers
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
[longing]
Tymps | Fiona Apple
I'm either so sick in the head
I need to be bled dry to quit
Or I just really used to love him
Or I just really used to love him
Or I just really used to love him
I sure hope that's it
[trying again]
No Room For Doubt | Lianne La Havas
I won't let a safe bet
Continue to make me go blue
...
We all make mistakes, we do
I learned from youIt's been 10 years but he still dreams of him.
Nothing but the drink has ever erased him. He continues to haunt him in cups of Earl Grey and in the scent of vanillin uncurling from old books.
What does it mean that he still longs for this traitor, this murderer? And after all this time.
What kind of monster is he?
[Sirius Escapes]
Don't You Remember | Adele
When was the last time
You thought of me
Oh have you completely erased me from your memory
I often think about where I went wrong
The more I do the less I know
[interlude | hogwarts]
Where Does The Time Go | The Bamboos Ft. Aloe Blacc
Where does the time go?
Has it been so long since I was young
Just a little one, having fun and playing in the sun
Where does the time go?
[Sirius in Hogwarts]
Worry Walks Beside Me | Michael Kiwanuka
What will it take to believe I can run
What will it take? When will I be done?
I've been trying
I find him standing here all the time
I find him trying to steal all that's mine
[reunion]
Flaws [Acoustic] | Bastille
You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve
And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground
Dig them out, let's finish what we started
Dig them out, so nothing's left untouchedPeter has been unburied. Peter the rat. Peter the traitor.
I dreamed about you, Sirius murmurs as dawn breaks over the forest. You never spoke but you never turned me away, like the others did.
You haunted me.
I loved you.
* please comment!
* please reblog from my tumblr!
DOWNLOAD/+
[AND MY TUMBLR LINK IF YOU WANNA LIKE/REBLOG!]
Fandom: Harry Potter
Subject: Remus Lupin [heavily implied Remus/Sirius]
Title: Heaviness In My Head
Notes: for the angst challenge at waywardmixes
Warnings: mentions of suicide
remus lupin is a wizard, who was bitten by a werewolf when he was quite small.
He manages to bind himself closely to a close group of classmates and stumbles out of school fighting a war.
When he's 21, Sirius Black betrays them all and kills all his closest friends. 12 years later, he learns that was a lie.
But these are the years that take up the middle.
[the fall of Voldemort]
Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) | Niia Bertino
Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.
Music played, and people sang
Just for me, the church bells rang.
[grief and waste]
Love Is A Losing Game | Amy Winehouse
Self-professed profound
Till the chips were down
Know you're a gambling man
Love is a losing hand
[haunting]
Washed Up | Hannah Williams & The Tastemakers
Baby, I thought you'd be there
when I was runnin' scared
When I needed your love
[suicide | found]
Nothing But The Water | Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
I have fallen so many times
For the devil's sweet, cunning rhymes
This old world
Has brought me pain
But there's hope
For me againThey were gone. Everyone he knew.
Dumbledore had found him, face down in a river with a needle in one hand and a bottle in the other.
You were always exceptional at defense, Mr. Lupin. The headmaster had remarked at his bedside, three days after.
No thanks, he didn't need an old man's pity. Snape could have that. He didn't need anything but a ticket and to be free of these demons.
[straighten up | travels out of Britain]
The Man Says | Ruby Velle & the Soulphonics
The man says get a job
But what good will that do?
The man knows I won't reach way up
way up like his reaches do
And anywhere has gotta be better than here
[isolation]
When You Were Young [Acoustic] | The Killers
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
[longing]
Tymps | Fiona Apple
I'm either so sick in the head
I need to be bled dry to quit
Or I just really used to love him
Or I just really used to love him
Or I just really used to love him
I sure hope that's it
[trying again]
No Room For Doubt | Lianne La Havas
I won't let a safe bet
Continue to make me go blue
...
We all make mistakes, we do
I learned from youIt's been 10 years but he still dreams of him.
Nothing but the drink has ever erased him. He continues to haunt him in cups of Earl Grey and in the scent of vanillin uncurling from old books.
What does it mean that he still longs for this traitor, this murderer? And after all this time.
What kind of monster is he?
[Sirius Escapes]
Don't You Remember | Adele
When was the last time
You thought of me
Oh have you completely erased me from your memory
I often think about where I went wrong
The more I do the less I know
[interlude | hogwarts]
Where Does The Time Go | The Bamboos Ft. Aloe Blacc
Where does the time go?
Has it been so long since I was young
Just a little one, having fun and playing in the sun
Where does the time go?
[Sirius in Hogwarts]
Worry Walks Beside Me | Michael Kiwanuka
What will it take to believe I can run
What will it take? When will I be done?
I've been trying
I find him standing here all the time
I find him trying to steal all that's mine
[reunion]
Flaws [Acoustic] | Bastille
You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve
And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground
Dig them out, let's finish what we started
Dig them out, so nothing's left untouchedPeter has been unburied. Peter the rat. Peter the traitor.
I dreamed about you, Sirius murmurs as dawn breaks over the forest. You never spoke but you never turned me away, like the others did.
You haunted me.
I loved you.
* please comment!
* please reblog from my tumblr!
DOWNLOAD/+
[AND MY TUMBLR LINK IF YOU WANNA LIKE/REBLOG!]