this is so funny i swear it made me laugh my butt off
Hello, my name is Michael Evans. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion freaking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to 1000 people? How stupid!? Ooooh, looky here If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get a pony and my crush will ask me out, and that really mean teacher will get hit by a bus, and I will make 1,000,000,000,000,000 dollars! What a bunch of crap.
So basically, this message is a big PSHHHHH….. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and give me bad luck in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2006, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of stupidity. Pshhh…..
If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 14 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some e-mail being" forwards about 90 times. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to… I mean… do you really think that someone will check every time a certain e-mail is sent? Do you really think that it is at all possible? Chances are… someone is messing with you.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)
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Make a wish
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No, seriously, go on and make one
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Oh please, they'll never go out with you
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Wish something else
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ewww Not that……..
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Is your finger getting tired yet?
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STOP
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Wasn't that fun? :) Hope you made a great wish :) Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true Because, “THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE” oooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo
Really Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be ticked off at you for sending them a stupid chainletter….And possibly laugh
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be ticked off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter….. and possibly laugh
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be ticked off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life…….. and possibly laugh
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be ticked off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will egg your house….. and once again possibly laugh
Thanks Good Luck
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Chain Letter Type 2:
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all fake. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6
people, you will die instantly. Pshhhhh…whatever…(I don’t know about you , but I don’t think this little boy could get eyes even if he wished for it in the past chain letter…u?)
Thanks again
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Chain Letter Type 2:
Hi there This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
Bizarre Horror Story 1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You
Bizarre Horror Story 2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to
*&^% and were cursed. This Could Happen To You Too
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your friends, and everything will be okay.
-------------------------------------------------------
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink
and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're ugly
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry
about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really
think you should get in a fight with mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then
gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English... -no, sorry
that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on If you don't, you'll never -something something something…-ever again.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. or send it on anyways….
Don't feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda P. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find your toenail
missing tomorrow morning
So basically, this message is a big PSHHHHH….. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and give me bad luck in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2006, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of stupidity. Pshhh…..
If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 14 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some e-mail being" forwards about 90 times. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to… I mean… do you really think that someone will check every time a certain e-mail is sent? Do you really think that it is at all possible? Chances are… someone is messing with you.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
Make a wish
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
No, seriously, go on and make one
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
Oh please, they'll never go out with you
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
Wish something else
>>
>>
>>
>>
ewww Not that……..
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
Is your finger getting tired yet?
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
STOP
>>
>>
>>
>>
Wasn't that fun? :) Hope you made a great wish :) Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true Because, “THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE” oooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo
Really Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be ticked off at you for sending them a stupid chainletter….And possibly laugh
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be ticked off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter….. and possibly laugh
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be ticked off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life…….. and possibly laugh
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be ticked off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will egg your house….. and once again possibly laugh
Thanks Good Luck
-------------------------------------------------------
Chain Letter Type 2:
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all fake. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6
people, you will die instantly. Pshhhhh…whatever…(I don’t know about you , but I don’t think this little boy could get eyes even if he wished for it in the past chain letter…u?)
Thanks again
-------------------------------------------------------
Chain Letter Type 2:
Hi there This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
Bizarre Horror Story 1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You
Bizarre Horror Story 2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to
*&^% and were cursed. This Could Happen To You Too
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your friends, and everything will be okay.
-------------------------------------------------------
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink
and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're ugly
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry
about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really
think you should get in a fight with mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then
gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English... -no, sorry
that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on If you don't, you'll never -something something something…-ever again.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. or send it on anyways….
Don't feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda P. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find your toenail
missing tomorrow morning