Again
Title: Again
Author: tine_cheese
Rating: PG
Length: one-shot
Warnings: Yaoi
Genre: Romance, Fluff
Pairings: Yunjae~
Summary: Jaejoong's days are fast and busy, and his lover, Yunho hasn't been contacting him either but one of these days he wants to change that.
Everything is fast paced now. From the moment he opens his eyes to his ringing alarm on his phone to the second he falls back on his cold and soft mattress. It’s almost seeing everything in a blur, if you ask him personally. And if he had time to answer back.
He barely even has time to eat.
He takes a half a cup of black coffee to get him through the morning hours, starting from 6 AM to 10. Then at around 11:30 AM a fellow staff member would be nice enough to get him something from a local food place. Be it a cup of ramen, a tuna sandwich, or a bag of chips. When it’s presented in front of him, offered to him with a slight smile he’ll take it with a wider smile and a bow.
“Oh, thank you” he says, taking the wrapped tuna sub-sandwich from the giver’s hands. Grateful for the thought put into buying him something to eat. His eyes would examine it; always convincing himself it’ll be amazingly delicious because it’s from one of the hard-working staffs.
Be it something he doesn’t even like. He’ll take it. Polite.
He finds himself a place to sit and gather all his thoughts and eat his meal quietly.
A sigh passes his lips as he leans against the cold wall, finding a vacant bench to rest on after a minute of looking around the set. He knows it different being solo. He thought it would be a good experience to work alone. He forgot what it was like after years of being in such a tight bond group he calls his second family.
His eyes close slowly, lungs functioning, breathing deeply. A few deep breathes and his noisy, compact atmosphere becomes quiet and spacious. Finally getting some time to think and feel his life at a normal pace.
I miss them. He sighs, keeping his eyelids covering his tearing eyes. Feeling a sharp stinging sensation in his nostrils, making them flare a little.
…Miss them so much. Another sigh escapes.
I wonder how they’re doing and a smile slowly crawls upon his lips, just thinking about them smiling and happy makes him feel a silver lighting.
His fingers unwrap the paper around the sandwich. Careful not to rip it and lifts it to his mouth and takes a bite. Changmin’s probably filming right about now… he chews, mouth closed as he talks mentally.
Gulps.
The moment he hears the echo of loud laughter his thoughts switch to his deafening, cute-to-the-bone dongsaeng. He’s probably working on recording right now, aish Junsu-ah. He chuckles softly, a memory of his beloved being himself, dorky and insane and loud.
He considers himself very, very lucky to have found such a colorful group of friends, band members, brothers, and family. They were four distinct young teenagers, pursuing their dreams of becoming a famous idol in front of Korea and maybe even the whole world when he first met them. And now?
They are, still are, four distinct young men whose made their dreams a reality. As five, they are the famous idols in front of Korea, Japan, Asia, and the world.
They’ve stolen millions and millions of hearts, they’ve topped charts over and over again, they’ve cruised through various award ceremonies, they’ve earned millions, billons of money, and they’ve created a reputation.
They’ve made themselves legends. Practically literally the risen gods of the East.
And it makes him smile, thinking about the good old days when they were just five guys, hanging out in a local noraebang. Singing their hearts out during one night, celebrating a good day of hard practice.
Yaaaahhh~ He can still hear his voice, happy and alive. Good job! Good job! He laughs, mic in one hand and his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulder. They would sing together and it didn’t matter if they went off key because deep inside, they were singing with their hearts. In sync, melodious, most beautiful and the two of them only knew.
Yunho-ah… he bites his lower lip, tilting his head up to look at the bright blue sky. Clear and blue, beautiful in many simple ways he thinks, wondering if it makes sense. One of the many things his mind questions and he always convinces himself that its all part of growing, that his most inner self is evolving thus, his mind comes up with these questions about almost everything. As if he’s a five year old again.
He’s not in denial. He doesn’t just create these distracting inquiries to avoid the questions that bother him so much that it disturbs his sleep.
He doesn’t wonder why it had to happen. He doesn’t ask himself why he really decided on wanting more. He doesn’t blame himself for taking away their happiness. He was concerned and he assured him that everything would be alright. That’s…mostly what gets him through his semi-lonely days. That’s why he smiles, why he’s content.
“Jaejoong-san”
I wonder what you’re doing right now…
“Jaejoong-san?”
I miss you so much and…I’m so tired.
“Jaejoong-san?” he feels a soft poke on his arm.
He opens his eyes and blinks, sitting up instantly and smiles to the friendly face of one of the staff members. “I’m sorry” he chuckles softly, bowing slightly. “What is it?” he asks in a polite tone, glancing down and realizes he still has his sandwich at hand.
“Break’s almost over” she says with a smile, before she goes away again.
He nods, taking another bite off his food, hurrying the process of eating.
His thoughts focused on quickly eating and not on much more important issues, or a particular person. “I…I should-“
Then his phone vibrates inside his pocket, hearing their song play.
Whenever you look in my eyes. There are so many smiles and tears~♫
His hand quickly digs into his pocket and takes it out, and holds it against his ear. “Yun-“
“Hey” he whispers, sensing a smile across his face. “How’ve you been?”
“I…I’ve been good” he replies, looking around, maybe it was a surprise and it makes smile himself.
“That’s good, I-I saw your first episode Joongie-ah” he chuckles. “You-I mean, your character was cute”
“Thanks” he chortles, biting his lower lip softly.
“Hey, listen. I don’t really have much time, but I wanna meet up. Just you and me, maybe tomorrow? I’ll text you in a few hours alright?”
He nods, “Oh-okay” he nods another time.
“So, see you till then?” he makes a smooch through the phone before he hangs up.
For once in so many days, his day slowed down and that makes his day worth remembering.