shower
I was taking a shower, and as everyone knows that is where the best contemplative moments seep forth. I was thinking about a lot of things and realized a couple things.
One is lately I feel very obsolete. Becoming obsolete is a very slow process. It begins innocently, people find a new person and you all hang out, and it is fun. Then they start occasionally doing things without you, but it is no big deal. They have a life without you, so what. But then invites stop, its not intentional, yet still happens. You kind of fall into the background, they don’t think they are doing it, but doesn’t stop you from feeling that way. It’s not one specific relationship of mine that feels like this, but a few. And I hate it and keep trying to stop it, but noting seems to work.
The other is I have too many fanciful whims that I need to stop verbalizing. It’s like when you see a girl with blue hair and you think, “I want blue hair.” I don’t really want blue hair, but it was just a quick thought that ran through my head. I think about it and am like if I got blue hair people would be mad, it would be hard getting a job, and the maintenance. Oh the maintenance!!!! And I realize that I am not ready for blue hair, but it was a fun thought.
These thoughts really don’t go together, but they were in my head, and I felt this need to write them down to think them out. Meh. This is what blogs are for I guess.
One is lately I feel very obsolete. Becoming obsolete is a very slow process. It begins innocently, people find a new person and you all hang out, and it is fun. Then they start occasionally doing things without you, but it is no big deal. They have a life without you, so what. But then invites stop, its not intentional, yet still happens. You kind of fall into the background, they don’t think they are doing it, but doesn’t stop you from feeling that way. It’s not one specific relationship of mine that feels like this, but a few. And I hate it and keep trying to stop it, but noting seems to work.
The other is I have too many fanciful whims that I need to stop verbalizing. It’s like when you see a girl with blue hair and you think, “I want blue hair.” I don’t really want blue hair, but it was just a quick thought that ran through my head. I think about it and am like if I got blue hair people would be mad, it would be hard getting a job, and the maintenance. Oh the maintenance!!!! And I realize that I am not ready for blue hair, but it was a fun thought.
These thoughts really don’t go together, but they were in my head, and I felt this need to write them down to think them out. Meh. This is what blogs are for I guess.