it has to be said...
i've been friends with a lot of assholes.
i know this. i understand this. i like to think that i have risen above this.
so why, then, do i turn into an over-eager, ass-kissing, submissive mess the INSTANT one of them contacts me? why do i continue to look for their approval, for recognition that i am, in fact, worth something? why?
these people don't care about me. they never did.
and i like myself more then i like them. finally. i can recognize them as the pathetic, spoiled, self obsessed little boys that they are- masquerading as cowboys to hide the overpowering insecurity the feel over their collective inadequacy in bed. (i would know this, of course, whore that i am.)
maybe i hate the way they think of me, maybe i hate the way i was. maybe its embarrassing, shameful, and i hate that, i want them to like me, i want them to forget so that i can forget.
but really this is ridiculous because they should be embarrassed too, right? and i mean, what happened to my sense of humor? because a lot of the things i did, they seem pretty funny in retrospect. reasonable, really, considering the circumstances.
and hell... i stood in line with angelina jolie, brad pitt, and their son maddox at the imax theatre last week. and then we watched a movie together. which one of those jerks can say that??
i know this. i understand this. i like to think that i have risen above this.
so why, then, do i turn into an over-eager, ass-kissing, submissive mess the INSTANT one of them contacts me? why do i continue to look for their approval, for recognition that i am, in fact, worth something? why?
these people don't care about me. they never did.
and i like myself more then i like them. finally. i can recognize them as the pathetic, spoiled, self obsessed little boys that they are- masquerading as cowboys to hide the overpowering insecurity the feel over their collective inadequacy in bed. (i would know this, of course, whore that i am.)
maybe i hate the way they think of me, maybe i hate the way i was. maybe its embarrassing, shameful, and i hate that, i want them to like me, i want them to forget so that i can forget.
but really this is ridiculous because they should be embarrassed too, right? and i mean, what happened to my sense of humor? because a lot of the things i did, they seem pretty funny in retrospect. reasonable, really, considering the circumstances.
and hell... i stood in line with angelina jolie, brad pitt, and their son maddox at the imax theatre last week. and then we watched a movie together. which one of those jerks can say that??