This whole experience has been very, very hard.
I hold grudges and I will make your life a living hell until you call me on my own bullshit. I will then cry and cry and look at you with big, wet eyes and say nothing because I love being the victim and am convinced that I always am one. By the time I actually admit that I am angry at you I have let things get to such a point that there is nothing that you can do or say that will make me resent you less. When you hurt my feelings a large part of what I want is to hurt you back. If you say you need space to think about things I will assume that what you are really saying is that you hate me and are leaving me and I will sulk until you reassure me. If you don't reassure me fast enough I will ignore your feelings and needs and will force you to talk to me and tell me what I want to hear. If you tell me everything I don't want to hear I still want to hear it because then I get to be the victim again. I expect you to do and say things that I will not ask you for, and will silently hold every failure against you. No matter what the circumstance, if you fail to fulfill my impossible expectations I will tell our mutual friends what an ogre you are and they will believe me and tell me to break up with you. I won't break up with you, however, because I am completely codependent and won't leave you unless I have someone else to leave you for.
I am a huge, fucking pain in the ass.
Of course, you can be quite the little bastard yourself and I have forgiven you for all of your similarly manipulative bullshit. In fact, I honed my passive aggressive skills by watching and mimicking you. The tables have turned, but there was a time when you were impossible to please or live with. But I tried, and took it, and we got through it, and you did get better.
You still pull ridiculous crap and deny responsibility for almost everything that happens. You have temper tantrums when you don't get your own way and then accuse me of being selfish when I don't go along with what you want. You are still manipulative as fuck and never apologize for anything. You still can't accept criticism, and you make it impossible for me to be honest and direct with you.
And of course I love you. I would not be here without you. I can't believe that I have done the things I have done since I met you. You are the only person in the world that I can have a fucking conversation with anymore. You are brilliant and beautiful and I actually respect you.
So here we are. At your fucking parents house because you can't get your shit together, and I'm going bat-shit insane because I feel trapped here. And I stay because underneath your childish behavior you are quite wonderful and I still think that its worth it. Not to mention that I'm crazy, too, and kind of a jerk, and despite the mess we're in now, i still think I'm better off now, with you, then I was by myself.
I am a huge, fucking pain in the ass.
Of course, you can be quite the little bastard yourself and I have forgiven you for all of your similarly manipulative bullshit. In fact, I honed my passive aggressive skills by watching and mimicking you. The tables have turned, but there was a time when you were impossible to please or live with. But I tried, and took it, and we got through it, and you did get better.
You still pull ridiculous crap and deny responsibility for almost everything that happens. You have temper tantrums when you don't get your own way and then accuse me of being selfish when I don't go along with what you want. You are still manipulative as fuck and never apologize for anything. You still can't accept criticism, and you make it impossible for me to be honest and direct with you.
And of course I love you. I would not be here without you. I can't believe that I have done the things I have done since I met you. You are the only person in the world that I can have a fucking conversation with anymore. You are brilliant and beautiful and I actually respect you.
So here we are. At your fucking parents house because you can't get your shit together, and I'm going bat-shit insane because I feel trapped here. And I stay because underneath your childish behavior you are quite wonderful and I still think that its worth it. Not to mention that I'm crazy, too, and kind of a jerk, and despite the mess we're in now, i still think I'm better off now, with you, then I was by myself.