(no subject)
so i don't think that i like my job
i haven't even done any presentations yet
because the one i was supposed to do last week was cancelled because no one signed up for it
so now i have to do it this week and be apprehensive about it all over again, and i wouldn't be nervous at all about it except my boss will be with me since it will be my first time and she is pretty much just going to watch me
which is completely annoying
and i don't like the way it is run
and it is far away
and i don't even like science
and most importantly
i haven't been paid at all because i haven't worked, and when i do it will be like no hours a week so what is the point
and
i think i have mostly decided that i don't want to be in the fbi anymore
which is scarey
but i just don't think i want to do it, its not that i don't think i could, its that i don't think its right for me
i wanted to do it because i want to make a difference in the world
but the more i take my classes the more i learn that people commit crime because that's what they were taught as children and they come from these really crappy neighborhoods families whatever
so i think instead i would rather be a teacher
which is just wonderful considering i am almost done with my degree
and i just keep putting off going to talk to an academic advisor because i am afraid of what they might say
and i still want to go to grad school but i still don't want to pay for it, but i need to decide soon because it sort of impacts my renewing my lease
when all i really want to do is go home for Christmas
to me its almost christmas
don't burst my bubble
God help me
i haven't even done any presentations yet
because the one i was supposed to do last week was cancelled because no one signed up for it
so now i have to do it this week and be apprehensive about it all over again, and i wouldn't be nervous at all about it except my boss will be with me since it will be my first time and she is pretty much just going to watch me
which is completely annoying
and i don't like the way it is run
and it is far away
and i don't even like science
and most importantly
i haven't been paid at all because i haven't worked, and when i do it will be like no hours a week so what is the point
and
i think i have mostly decided that i don't want to be in the fbi anymore
which is scarey
but i just don't think i want to do it, its not that i don't think i could, its that i don't think its right for me
i wanted to do it because i want to make a difference in the world
but the more i take my classes the more i learn that people commit crime because that's what they were taught as children and they come from these really crappy neighborhoods families whatever
so i think instead i would rather be a teacher
which is just wonderful considering i am almost done with my degree
and i just keep putting off going to talk to an academic advisor because i am afraid of what they might say
and i still want to go to grad school but i still don't want to pay for it, but i need to decide soon because it sort of impacts my renewing my lease
when all i really want to do is go home for Christmas
to me its almost christmas
don't burst my bubble
God help me