From The Start [21/?]
Genre: Drama/romance/LGBT study
Ratings/Warnings: T
Fandom: Glee
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble / Kurtofsky (main), Brittanna, Davetana friendship, Faberry, etc.
Summary: Relationships are messy and teenagers are confusing. Love is hard enough without the added stress of being gay. Kurt tries to make sense of all of this, but maybe it's better if it doesn't make sense.
Rachel didn’t even seem to notice what Quinn was wearing, though everyone else did, as evidenced by the whistles and dirty comments that Quinn ignored. She turned down Kurt’s offer to help her pick out a whole new wardrobe, with the reasoning that she didn’t want him to buy her anything and, until her parents’ divorce was finalized, she wouldn’t have enough money to pay for it herself.
Kurt had half a mind to go up to Rachel and slap her, especially when she started talking about her New York dreams at the lunch table. Finn said he didn’t plan to follow her to New York, because it just wasn’t his thing, and Rachel looked a bit put-out by that but quickly covered it up by insisting she could change his mind. Quinn wrote something on a slip of paper and pushed it over to Kurt.
I’d follow her to New York. I’d go right now if she asked me to.
Kurt smiled sadly at her and put a comforting arm around her waist under the table. She leaned over and whispered into his ear. “Thanks. I don’t know why you’re doing this or how you can put up with me, but thanks. For everything.”
“I’m doing it because I know if I felt how you do about someone, I wouldn’t be able to take it as well as you have,” he whispered back. He caught Rachel’s eye as he moved away from Quinn. Rachel mouthed we’ll talk at him, then turned back to Finn.
000
Rachel grabbed him after school, just as he was closing his locker and leaving for Glee. “I need to talk to you about Quinn.”
Kurt nodded. If Rachel wanted to risk missing out on Glee time only weeks before Nationals -- and on the day they were supposed to start practicing their songs, no less -- then there was obviously a good reason for it.
They went into the girls’ bathroom. Before she could start talking, Kurt fished out Quinn’s note from his pocket and handed it to her. “Quinn gave me that when you were talking about New York at lunch today.”
Rachel quickly read the note and sighed. “I was going to say the reason I’m not doing anything with Quinn is because I’m not sure she’s serious about this--”
“Did you miss the day she came out during Glee?”
“--because she’s never really cared for me before--”
“Beg to differ. She’s always been a little bit too invested in your emotional well-being.”
“--but I guess this changes things.” She glared at him for his interruptions, but then her eyes softened as she looked back at the note. “Do you really think she’d come with me?”
“There’s no question. Even if she doesn’t love you, and I think she does, she’ll follow you wherever you go. She knows she can live her life anywhere. Lima will always be home for Finn.”
Rachel nodded and tucked the note into a pocket in her skirt. “Well, let’s get back.”
“Oh, Rachel?”
“Hm?” She turned her head to look at him from the doorway.
“She’s going to Junior Prom with Artie. I’d say, wait until after that to break up with Finn. You can always go with Quinn to Prom next year.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I don’t think either of you are ready for this. But please do let Finn know this is the last date, I’d rather not go through another one of his post-breakup Xbox marathons. They’re very loud and the explosions never match the beat of whatever I’m listening to.”
“Will do. And Good job on Quinn’s outfit.”
“How did you--”
“It pretty much has Kurt written all over it. I didn’t want to say anything because Finn’s been around me all day, but please tell her I think she looks… very attractive in it.”
“Very attractive? That’s all you’ve got?”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “I was thinking more along the lines of doable but I thought that might be a little lewd.”
000
The first thing Kurt registered while walking into school Tuesday morning was “Oh my God. Kurt, get out of here.” Santana took him by the shoulders and tried to steer him out the way he came.
“Why?”
“Just trust me. Didn’t you get my text?”
“No. Trust you?” Kurt glanced to the side and caught a glance at one of his Prom King posters. Or, rather, Prom Queen, as they had been Sharpie’d over to say.
Kurt felt like his heart had stopped. He pushed Santana lightly off of him and walked over to the poster, without consciously making the choice to move. He unstuck the poster from the wall and stared at it in his hands.
“Are they all like this?”
Santana’s silence spoke volumes.
But he didn’t cry like he thought he would. No drops splattered onto and ran down the glossy page. He nodded, and stuck the poster back onto the wall before turning back to Santana.
“Well, I was planning to wear a kilt anyway. Now I’ll look the part if I win.” He walked past her and headed to his locker, head held high.
Santana watched, shocked. If something like that ever happened to me, I’d never show my face again. He’s brave.
Kurt entered his first class with his usual air of I-don’t-care-what-you-think-as-long-as-it’s-about-me. When the class snickered at him with murmurs of ‘he even looks like a drag queen, he’s wearing a fucking dress today’, he looked at them calmly and asked, “Did I miss a joke? Or are you all just laughing at your own ignorance?” They continued to laugh as he sat down. Let them laugh. They’ll all work for me one day.
Later, when he found his locker filled to the brim with glitter and feathers, he decided he wouldn’t even give them the benefit of being hired. He was not willing to pay such cruel, judgmental people -- if he could even call them people.
000
During lunch, Kurt intercepted Dave walking towards the caf. He slipped his arm around Dave’s and pulled him back into the other direction until they were in the choir room.
“So when were you going to tell me that you came out to Azimio?”
“I knew that was you. I was going to tell you at lunch.”
“What happened?”
Dave sighed. “He took it pretty well, I guess.” Kurt raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Well… At first he just looked at me like I was crazy and asked if joining Glee made me gay. I tried to explain to him that I’ve always been gay but he just ignored me and walked away. Then he found me again later and said it was gonna take him a while to get used to it, and he was gonna stay away from me for a while so he doesn’t say something stupid. And before you start, ‘cause I know you don’t believe that, I’ve known Z since I was five, and I can tell when he’s lying. He’s not okay with it yet, but he doesn’t want to fuck up our friendship, which I really appreciate. It could be a hell of a lot worse. He could’ve told someone, but he didn’t. I trust him.”
Kurt bit his lip. “I used to think you didn’t have any real friends here, but… I guess I was wrong, huh?”
Dave’s eyes widened comically. “Did Kurt Hummel just admit to being wrong? Someone check the skies for pigs!”
Kurt punched him in the arm. “Shut up.”
000
“Let me guess, Viva La Vida and Fix You?”
Kurt rolled his eyes at Puck. “No. We’d sound great, but it’s too obvious. I’ve chosen What If as my solo, and I think we should do a mash-up for the group number, but I don’t know what would go well with Clocks.”
“You’ve listened to all their songs?” Tina asked.
“Multiple times. Does anyone have any ideas?”
“Green Eyes?”
“I thought about that one, but it didn’t work.”
“Speed of Sound?”
“Maybe, but considering I confuse it with Clocks a lot I don’t think that’s a great idea.”
“Life in Tecnicolor?”
“I didn’t consider that because half of it is instrumental.”
“We could sing Clocks during the instrumental part,” Rachel suggested.
“I never thought of that.”
“That would sound pretty dope,” Puck said. “You know. For Coldplay.”
“Just you wait,” Kurt said, opening up his laptop to a music editor, “a week from now you’ll be wishing you suggested it.”
000
By the time Kurt got home, he was placing first as Prom Queen, beating Santana by almost twenty percent.
He briefly considered going in full drag. It wasn’t as if he’d never done it before; he’d just never left the house like that. It shouldn’t be that hard, and he figured he could even find his enormous home-made butterfly wings if he looked hard enough in the attic. He dropped the idea, however, when he realized some of his classmates would literally rip him apart, wings and all.
But he was still wearing that kilt. He was almost finished with it already, he wasn’t about to switch ideas this late.
000
Santana and Dave had English at the same time. Different classes, obviously, as Santana took Honors and Dave didn’t, but the classrooms were still right next to each other.
It just so happened that they were both given equally unsettling essay prompts on the same day. Santana, whose class had just finished The Picture of Dorian Gray, was given the prompt “Write about something you felt you had to hide that was shared without your consent.” Dave, whose class was about to start Henry V, was given the simple task, “Define bravery.”
Later that night, they sat in front of finished essays, despite that they weren’t due for a week, and e-mailed them to each other for a second opinion. Santana’s first sentence was “I never meant to come out in high school.” Dave’s first sentence was “Kurt Hummel is the bravest person I know.”
000000
Music: (all by Coldplay)
-"What If"
-"Clocks"
-"Life In Technicolor ii"
Ratings/Warnings: T
Fandom: Glee
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble / Kurtofsky (main), Brittanna, Davetana friendship, Faberry, etc.
Summary: Relationships are messy and teenagers are confusing. Love is hard enough without the added stress of being gay. Kurt tries to make sense of all of this, but maybe it's better if it doesn't make sense.
Rachel didn’t even seem to notice what Quinn was wearing, though everyone else did, as evidenced by the whistles and dirty comments that Quinn ignored. She turned down Kurt’s offer to help her pick out a whole new wardrobe, with the reasoning that she didn’t want him to buy her anything and, until her parents’ divorce was finalized, she wouldn’t have enough money to pay for it herself.
Kurt had half a mind to go up to Rachel and slap her, especially when she started talking about her New York dreams at the lunch table. Finn said he didn’t plan to follow her to New York, because it just wasn’t his thing, and Rachel looked a bit put-out by that but quickly covered it up by insisting she could change his mind. Quinn wrote something on a slip of paper and pushed it over to Kurt.
I’d follow her to New York. I’d go right now if she asked me to.
Kurt smiled sadly at her and put a comforting arm around her waist under the table. She leaned over and whispered into his ear. “Thanks. I don’t know why you’re doing this or how you can put up with me, but thanks. For everything.”
“I’m doing it because I know if I felt how you do about someone, I wouldn’t be able to take it as well as you have,” he whispered back. He caught Rachel’s eye as he moved away from Quinn. Rachel mouthed we’ll talk at him, then turned back to Finn.
000
Rachel grabbed him after school, just as he was closing his locker and leaving for Glee. “I need to talk to you about Quinn.”
Kurt nodded. If Rachel wanted to risk missing out on Glee time only weeks before Nationals -- and on the day they were supposed to start practicing their songs, no less -- then there was obviously a good reason for it.
They went into the girls’ bathroom. Before she could start talking, Kurt fished out Quinn’s note from his pocket and handed it to her. “Quinn gave me that when you were talking about New York at lunch today.”
Rachel quickly read the note and sighed. “I was going to say the reason I’m not doing anything with Quinn is because I’m not sure she’s serious about this--”
“Did you miss the day she came out during Glee?”
“--because she’s never really cared for me before--”
“Beg to differ. She’s always been a little bit too invested in your emotional well-being.”
“--but I guess this changes things.” She glared at him for his interruptions, but then her eyes softened as she looked back at the note. “Do you really think she’d come with me?”
“There’s no question. Even if she doesn’t love you, and I think she does, she’ll follow you wherever you go. She knows she can live her life anywhere. Lima will always be home for Finn.”
Rachel nodded and tucked the note into a pocket in her skirt. “Well, let’s get back.”
“Oh, Rachel?”
“Hm?” She turned her head to look at him from the doorway.
“She’s going to Junior Prom with Artie. I’d say, wait until after that to break up with Finn. You can always go with Quinn to Prom next year.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I don’t think either of you are ready for this. But please do let Finn know this is the last date, I’d rather not go through another one of his post-breakup Xbox marathons. They’re very loud and the explosions never match the beat of whatever I’m listening to.”
“Will do. And Good job on Quinn’s outfit.”
“How did you--”
“It pretty much has Kurt written all over it. I didn’t want to say anything because Finn’s been around me all day, but please tell her I think she looks… very attractive in it.”
“Very attractive? That’s all you’ve got?”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “I was thinking more along the lines of doable but I thought that might be a little lewd.”
000
The first thing Kurt registered while walking into school Tuesday morning was “Oh my God. Kurt, get out of here.” Santana took him by the shoulders and tried to steer him out the way he came.
“Why?”
“Just trust me. Didn’t you get my text?”
“No. Trust you?” Kurt glanced to the side and caught a glance at one of his Prom King posters. Or, rather, Prom Queen, as they had been Sharpie’d over to say.
Kurt felt like his heart had stopped. He pushed Santana lightly off of him and walked over to the poster, without consciously making the choice to move. He unstuck the poster from the wall and stared at it in his hands.
“Are they all like this?”
Santana’s silence spoke volumes.
But he didn’t cry like he thought he would. No drops splattered onto and ran down the glossy page. He nodded, and stuck the poster back onto the wall before turning back to Santana.
“Well, I was planning to wear a kilt anyway. Now I’ll look the part if I win.” He walked past her and headed to his locker, head held high.
Santana watched, shocked. If something like that ever happened to me, I’d never show my face again. He’s brave.
Kurt entered his first class with his usual air of I-don’t-care-what-you-think-as-long-as-it’s-about-me. When the class snickered at him with murmurs of ‘he even looks like a drag queen, he’s wearing a fucking dress today’, he looked at them calmly and asked, “Did I miss a joke? Or are you all just laughing at your own ignorance?” They continued to laugh as he sat down. Let them laugh. They’ll all work for me one day.
Later, when he found his locker filled to the brim with glitter and feathers, he decided he wouldn’t even give them the benefit of being hired. He was not willing to pay such cruel, judgmental people -- if he could even call them people.
000
During lunch, Kurt intercepted Dave walking towards the caf. He slipped his arm around Dave’s and pulled him back into the other direction until they were in the choir room.
“So when were you going to tell me that you came out to Azimio?”
“I knew that was you. I was going to tell you at lunch.”
“What happened?”
Dave sighed. “He took it pretty well, I guess.” Kurt raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Well… At first he just looked at me like I was crazy and asked if joining Glee made me gay. I tried to explain to him that I’ve always been gay but he just ignored me and walked away. Then he found me again later and said it was gonna take him a while to get used to it, and he was gonna stay away from me for a while so he doesn’t say something stupid. And before you start, ‘cause I know you don’t believe that, I’ve known Z since I was five, and I can tell when he’s lying. He’s not okay with it yet, but he doesn’t want to fuck up our friendship, which I really appreciate. It could be a hell of a lot worse. He could’ve told someone, but he didn’t. I trust him.”
Kurt bit his lip. “I used to think you didn’t have any real friends here, but… I guess I was wrong, huh?”
Dave’s eyes widened comically. “Did Kurt Hummel just admit to being wrong? Someone check the skies for pigs!”
Kurt punched him in the arm. “Shut up.”
000
“Let me guess, Viva La Vida and Fix You?”
Kurt rolled his eyes at Puck. “No. We’d sound great, but it’s too obvious. I’ve chosen What If as my solo, and I think we should do a mash-up for the group number, but I don’t know what would go well with Clocks.”
“You’ve listened to all their songs?” Tina asked.
“Multiple times. Does anyone have any ideas?”
“Green Eyes?”
“I thought about that one, but it didn’t work.”
“Speed of Sound?”
“Maybe, but considering I confuse it with Clocks a lot I don’t think that’s a great idea.”
“Life in Tecnicolor?”
“I didn’t consider that because half of it is instrumental.”
“We could sing Clocks during the instrumental part,” Rachel suggested.
“I never thought of that.”
“That would sound pretty dope,” Puck said. “You know. For Coldplay.”
“Just you wait,” Kurt said, opening up his laptop to a music editor, “a week from now you’ll be wishing you suggested it.”
000
By the time Kurt got home, he was placing first as Prom Queen, beating Santana by almost twenty percent.
He briefly considered going in full drag. It wasn’t as if he’d never done it before; he’d just never left the house like that. It shouldn’t be that hard, and he figured he could even find his enormous home-made butterfly wings if he looked hard enough in the attic. He dropped the idea, however, when he realized some of his classmates would literally rip him apart, wings and all.
But he was still wearing that kilt. He was almost finished with it already, he wasn’t about to switch ideas this late.
000
Santana and Dave had English at the same time. Different classes, obviously, as Santana took Honors and Dave didn’t, but the classrooms were still right next to each other.
It just so happened that they were both given equally unsettling essay prompts on the same day. Santana, whose class had just finished The Picture of Dorian Gray, was given the prompt “Write about something you felt you had to hide that was shared without your consent.” Dave, whose class was about to start Henry V, was given the simple task, “Define bravery.”
Later that night, they sat in front of finished essays, despite that they weren’t due for a week, and e-mailed them to each other for a second opinion. Santana’s first sentence was “I never meant to come out in high school.” Dave’s first sentence was “Kurt Hummel is the bravest person I know.”
000000
Music: (all by Coldplay)
-"What If"
-"Clocks"
-"Life In Technicolor ii"