Still Struggling But Determined To Make It
It's been awhile since I've posted. I had a pretty hard relapse, almost went back to inpatient but I've been determined to work this out before I have to succumb to hospitalization. The deal I made is that if I'm not doing alot better by the time my kids finish school this year then I'm definately going back to inpatien. My plan is to show my treatment team that I am strong enough to do this without IP. I had a really good day yesterday. I didn't bing and purge at all and I followed my meal plan, I even ate more than what I needed to. I had a moment of weakness before going to bed where my thoughts kept urging me to binge/purge, but I fought back and I made it. Ed -0, Me-1. I'm going to squash that Ed voice no matter what it takes. I've been dealing with the eating disorder for most of my life and I originally thought that I was destined to carry it with me forever but I know that is just Ed trying to make me give up. Well Ed, I have another voice, a stronger voice, and it's telling me that I'm stronger than you. I can do this, I can make it, I am worth it!!!!!