enough is enough
sick of it. sick of feeling like im not good enough for him. sick of binging and purging. sick of being jealous. sick of always hoping. its very obvious when someone loves you...he doesnt and i know it, but i guess since i wish so bad that he did, i try pretend like i cant tell. maybe he LIKES me or TOLERATES me at times, but thats about as far as it goes. it just makes me mad and sad cuz throughout all these years ive been the dumb one who still...i dunno. i love him a lot, i cant help it. fuck i hate it only cuz its not mutual. i dont want to cry tonight. i just wanna lay with him but hes in the living room and im here in the bedroom on the floor on the fucking laptop at 3fuckin am being a little bitch like always. maybe one day he will come ask whats wrong or try to cheer me up or just listen...or even just lie down with me....yeah, doubt that. why cant he run to me...because he doesnt feel what i do. dylan and addy really need a new mom, and i wholeheartdly mean that. i suck at life.