(no subject)
another round of back and forth with my family, this time my sister-in-law:
her initial email:
Dearest Tim,
I think of you often; you are always in my heart. Don't forget you were the little boy that brought me into the family. I will always love you!! When you chose the life of homosexuality, it was different than when someone I wasn't attached to walked away from my belief system in God. I would never "reject" you because I truly love you! I'm saddened that this has split us from seeing each other. I so wish to have a meal with you, talk to you, laugh at your jokes. I often recall the things I've always loved about you but never told you.
The thing that makes us unable to accept your practice is our sincere love for God and His Word. At one time I believed that you loved Him, too. Remember the song you taught us on vacation together, "Lord, you're beautiful to me." One time while you and I were having our rare "soul-knitting" chat in the kitchen, you confided to me that you hated your sin. You knew at that time in your life that we are all sinners and are capable of having deeply rooted inborn tendencies that were contrary to God's commands and desires. You are no different, Tim, than I am in my natural state without God's help to "change" how I was born in sin. No doubt, the tendency toward homosexuality is from birth - who I am without God's intervention. My suggestion is that we all need a change or conversion from whom we were born to be - sinners.
Tim, I love you and Howie (believe it or not) because you love Howie, but I would that both you and Howie would not oppose the Lord but would rather look to Him for help in this sin problem in your hearts.
I would love to talk to you both about these issues, but you must never feel condemned - only intreated to follow God.
I wish to see you!! Love as always and forever,
my response:
ok, here's the deal. basically it boils down to mutual respect... i understand that you believe a certain way and truly feel that you have my best interests at heart. and while i know you love me, you don't respect me. because if you did, you would be able to say, "ok, i believe this way, and i really think it's the truth, but tim doesn't believe this, and i will allow him to live his life as he chooses, even though i don't agree."
i'm able to give you that respect... why can't you return it? and please don't respond with "because your eternal soul is at stake..." because those are your religious beliefs, not mine. our differing personal religious beliefs are completely irrelevant to this conversation, because it's about respect. that's it.
and you are always welcome to our house for dinner.
love, tim
her response:
Dearest Tim,
I appreciated your response! I guess I don't agree that this is not about a disagreement in beliefs. While your beliefs allow for my beliefs (thanks for that), my beliefs tell me to warn you about your unbelief in God and His rules. If you read in the Bible in chapter 33 of the book of Ezekiel, God talks about a watchman bringing warning if danger is near.
Let me tell you this story as the scenario of how I see what is happening here. Let's say that you and I are traveling a road side by side. The roads are parallel, so they appear to be going in the same direction. Your road, however is interrupted by a steep cliff that will throw your car down a 30 foot ravine and kill you. My road is safe because a bridge(Jesus) over this vast and deep ravine carries me to safety onto the other side. You're traveling 90 miles/hr carefree and confident unaware that this road ends in self-destruction and misery. Don't you want me to tell you about the detour even if it means risking your disapproval and anger. I just can't "respect" these kind of choices because I'm afraid of what they will ultimately do to you. And even though these are my beliefs and not yours, the pain this brings all of us who love you and hold the Scriptures in highest authority is not something you are clearly understanding. There is absolute truth. The ravine is there and so is the cliff even if you refuse to acknowledge it. Always with love,
my response (as i start to get frustrated):
you really don't get it. i don't know what else to say... you can't force your personal religious beliefs on someone else. end of story.
her response:
Dear Tim,
I'm not "forcing" these beliefs onto you, but my love for you compels me to share them. As Paul (note: she's referring to the bible character, the apostle paul here) said, "knowing the terror of the Lord, we persuade men." Knowing what's ahead for mankind causes us to preach the gospel of Christ. It is our love that sends us with the wonderful news of deliverance through Christ! Please reconsider your choices.
There is no force here; only entreaty. Love as usual,
and i've thown up my hands... how can you have a discussion that keeps going in circles? there's no point, and no hope.
her initial email:
Dearest Tim,
I think of you often; you are always in my heart. Don't forget you were the little boy that brought me into the family. I will always love you!! When you chose the life of homosexuality, it was different than when someone I wasn't attached to walked away from my belief system in God. I would never "reject" you because I truly love you! I'm saddened that this has split us from seeing each other. I so wish to have a meal with you, talk to you, laugh at your jokes. I often recall the things I've always loved about you but never told you.
The thing that makes us unable to accept your practice is our sincere love for God and His Word. At one time I believed that you loved Him, too. Remember the song you taught us on vacation together, "Lord, you're beautiful to me." One time while you and I were having our rare "soul-knitting" chat in the kitchen, you confided to me that you hated your sin. You knew at that time in your life that we are all sinners and are capable of having deeply rooted inborn tendencies that were contrary to God's commands and desires. You are no different, Tim, than I am in my natural state without God's help to "change" how I was born in sin. No doubt, the tendency toward homosexuality is from birth - who I am without God's intervention. My suggestion is that we all need a change or conversion from whom we were born to be - sinners.
Tim, I love you and Howie (believe it or not) because you love Howie, but I would that both you and Howie would not oppose the Lord but would rather look to Him for help in this sin problem in your hearts.
I would love to talk to you both about these issues, but you must never feel condemned - only intreated to follow God.
I wish to see you!! Love as always and forever,
my response:
ok, here's the deal. basically it boils down to mutual respect... i understand that you believe a certain way and truly feel that you have my best interests at heart. and while i know you love me, you don't respect me. because if you did, you would be able to say, "ok, i believe this way, and i really think it's the truth, but tim doesn't believe this, and i will allow him to live his life as he chooses, even though i don't agree."
i'm able to give you that respect... why can't you return it? and please don't respond with "because your eternal soul is at stake..." because those are your religious beliefs, not mine. our differing personal religious beliefs are completely irrelevant to this conversation, because it's about respect. that's it.
and you are always welcome to our house for dinner.
love, tim
her response:
Dearest Tim,
I appreciated your response! I guess I don't agree that this is not about a disagreement in beliefs. While your beliefs allow for my beliefs (thanks for that), my beliefs tell me to warn you about your unbelief in God and His rules. If you read in the Bible in chapter 33 of the book of Ezekiel, God talks about a watchman bringing warning if danger is near.
Let me tell you this story as the scenario of how I see what is happening here. Let's say that you and I are traveling a road side by side. The roads are parallel, so they appear to be going in the same direction. Your road, however is interrupted by a steep cliff that will throw your car down a 30 foot ravine and kill you. My road is safe because a bridge(Jesus) over this vast and deep ravine carries me to safety onto the other side. You're traveling 90 miles/hr carefree and confident unaware that this road ends in self-destruction and misery. Don't you want me to tell you about the detour even if it means risking your disapproval and anger. I just can't "respect" these kind of choices because I'm afraid of what they will ultimately do to you. And even though these are my beliefs and not yours, the pain this brings all of us who love you and hold the Scriptures in highest authority is not something you are clearly understanding. There is absolute truth. The ravine is there and so is the cliff even if you refuse to acknowledge it. Always with love,
my response (as i start to get frustrated):
you really don't get it. i don't know what else to say... you can't force your personal religious beliefs on someone else. end of story.
her response:
Dear Tim,
I'm not "forcing" these beliefs onto you, but my love for you compels me to share them. As Paul (note: she's referring to the bible character, the apostle paul here) said, "knowing the terror of the Lord, we persuade men." Knowing what's ahead for mankind causes us to preach the gospel of Christ. It is our love that sends us with the wonderful news of deliverance through Christ! Please reconsider your choices.
There is no force here; only entreaty. Love as usual,
and i've thown up my hands... how can you have a discussion that keeps going in circles? there's no point, and no hope.