W.T.F.?.
Yesterday I went to the gas station down the street from my work. As I am pumping gas a car full of scruffy looking people pulls up. The man in the passenger seat calls to me and wants me to go over and look at what is in his hand. (glasses) I am not going for it, so he gets out of the car and comes over to me. I keep one hand on the nozzle and give him eye contact in a “you are not getting my fill attention” kind of way.
He asks if I want to buy these sun glasses. I figure he pulled them out of some ones car and his trying to sell them for anything he can get. I tell him that unless they are prescription I can’t use them. I then point to my glasses in a meaningful way. He says they are not prescription but then pulls out a stack of porn and displays it to me in a very conspiratorial manor. The video on top had a very enthusiastic looking woman on the cover, but all the naughty bits were covered. I tell him he is seriously barking up the wrong tree with the porn.
Glazing over the whole straight porn, gay guy issue. This porn was obviously soft core. If I was to hypothetically buy porn from some shady weird guy on the street it needs to be a little more interesting than soft core vanilla fare. Throw in gimp suits or livestock. I need an OH MY GAWD factor in that sort of transaction. It should be something I would never look for on my own, but when presented with become so curious, dismayed at the very existence of, or shocked by that I can’t help but want to buy it.
So when I turned down his softy offerings he asked if I have any change. I tell him I do not as I tend to just use my debit card. I immediately hope he doesn’t do something like ask me to buy him gas with my card. He then pears in to my car and announces that he can see change “right there” ::point::. What the fuck? I know I don’t have any change on display in my car. But I know I do have a single penny tucked under my Kleenex box. So I get in to my car pretend to look around and then display the penny triumphantly and offer it to him as if I was being extremely helpful. He huffs off never to be seen again.
He asks if I want to buy these sun glasses. I figure he pulled them out of some ones car and his trying to sell them for anything he can get. I tell him that unless they are prescription I can’t use them. I then point to my glasses in a meaningful way. He says they are not prescription but then pulls out a stack of porn and displays it to me in a very conspiratorial manor. The video on top had a very enthusiastic looking woman on the cover, but all the naughty bits were covered. I tell him he is seriously barking up the wrong tree with the porn.
Glazing over the whole straight porn, gay guy issue. This porn was obviously soft core. If I was to hypothetically buy porn from some shady weird guy on the street it needs to be a little more interesting than soft core vanilla fare. Throw in gimp suits or livestock. I need an OH MY GAWD factor in that sort of transaction. It should be something I would never look for on my own, but when presented with become so curious, dismayed at the very existence of, or shocked by that I can’t help but want to buy it.
So when I turned down his softy offerings he asked if I have any change. I tell him I do not as I tend to just use my debit card. I immediately hope he doesn’t do something like ask me to buy him gas with my card. He then pears in to my car and announces that he can see change “right there” ::point::. What the fuck? I know I don’t have any change on display in my car. But I know I do have a single penny tucked under my Kleenex box. So I get in to my car pretend to look around and then display the penny triumphantly and offer it to him as if I was being extremely helpful. He huffs off never to be seen again.