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This new..almost sly Horatio was cute. When Horatio admitted to the mirror, Timothy smiled. “There’s a lot of new things I wanted to try with you. Mirror, fist, roleplay..” Timothy laughed quietly, shaking his head. He never did admit to any of these things before and he absolutely regretted that. He wouldn’t allow it to happen again. “Out in the
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“No, Speed, I mean that I am sorry I....th-....I....you....I....”
And Horatio Caine is slightly dumbfounded because for all of his snappy, witty one-liners and intense, carefully delivered ad-libbed orations on whatever came Miami’s way he finds himself here and now speechless. Never artless with words he is suddenly tripping over his own tongue; and he finds he has bumbled a precious moment and laughs sheepishly, inwardly chiding himself as he nuzzles into Tim’s shoulder.
“Thank you. ”
His voice is muffled against the crook of the dusky man’s neck and it is as good an excuse any for him to keep quiet.
Tim orders him into the tub and H is curious to give his stiff legs a try, to test just how much of a mess he really is. With the strong man to lean on he manages a less than elegant dismount of the king-sized bed and a couple of hobbling steps. Pausing a moment he straightens himself and finds that there is pain, especially when his stride causes his balls and soft dick to sway and that entire area of his body is abused and bruised enough that even the slight motion of flesh agitates the soreness. The redhead frowned and tentatively gave a stretch of his sore shoulders and finds that despite the immediate complaint set up by his aching muscles it also feels good to stretch them out. This makes the warm bath seem all the more inviting and trying to recover at least a shred of his dignified manner he manages to walk the rest of the way into the bathroom unaided. He gingerly settles himself into the water and finds that there is only a slight sting which quickly fades and with a deep sigh he lets his entire lanky body go slack, head tilting back as his neck rested against the ceramic of the bathtub. He was not in terrible shape, all truth be told. It would be a magnificent purple and black bruise around his ass-hole and balls, the pooled blood seeping under the skin perhaps even painting the back of his thighs; but that was more of a faggot badge of honour than a mar. His insides hurt and he imagine a few days of soup to be in his future but Horatio felt confident now that he could have taken more. His blues eyes shut but his tongue flicks out to wet his still slightly kiss-swollen lips. Tim deeper? No that was when things got bloody and uncomfortable and H was quite sure there was no deeper for Speedle to go. Tim and ??? A toy again, yes, he could handle that. The stretch was what gave the enjoyable pain.Hmmm...Someone willing to share a hole with another throbbing cock? Though his eyes were shut Caine’s brows raise at the notion. Two pulses throbbing in his ass at the same time, two loads to soak his guts in cream. It is a strange, perverted thought and it strikes him as something his brother would enjoy and not himself. In fact it strikes him as something that existed in pornography and not reality and yet his hand which had rested lightly on his chest has slipped below the surface of the water and only the smarting of the stroked raw flesh of his dick stops him from touching himself.
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“Unless it is artist’s chalk pastel I don’t think it is applicable to him these days.”
Horatio held his hand, palm up, under the tap and let the water flow through his spread fingers a few moments before twisting the flow back off.
“Raymond is Raymond again- and with all the charm and cleverness that comes along with being a sober Raymond Caine he is quite a local celebrity in New York City.”
H could not help sliding down his hand beneath his body to try and gauge just where the soreness enveloping his backside started and ended it. Just the light touch of his searching index finger testing the skin to find the bruising’s boundary called up the unique searing, almost caustic, hurt of a point of pressure on a serious contusion and he winced, making a high pitched squeak. The older man judiciously decided that any enjoyment of the pain would have to come when said pain had dulled. It seemed an appropriate backdrop for a conversation about his brother though- he always had been a pain in his ass. Settling himself back comfortably into the soak he made a feeble dismissive motion in the air.
“Ray stayed with me for a short time, but he quickly became absorbed in his new found artistic fame. All the middle aged socialite housewives and art students he can fuck, I rapidly became a very boring prospect for company.”
That fact still left an empty spot inside him, as much as he was loathe to admit it.
“He plays up the outsider, being Tinman, being Meth Raymond but he is clean. I have no idea why he chose to be clean, particularly when he could have used and I being all alone would have coddled him through it, but something clicked in his mind I guess. He looks well Tim, he...really looks well; and he is doing well, he looks young again, Young...again...”
He repeats the last words wistfully because as the younger Caine seemed to be getting younger in NYC the older had seemed to age. Still the sun of Miami on his face and Speed’s cum inside him had a way of rejuvenating Horatio and at the moment the future looked bright for as far as he dared look ahead. In the distance there was darkness, looming on the horizon and that, problem would have to be eliminated but even that had a twisted way of fitting into he and Tim’s future.
H suddenly sat up a bit and laughed lightly.
“Frank’s cats!”
Finally, down to the subject of Frank’s damn cats.
“So the American Supreme Cat Show is held in New York and one of Frank’s cats won the grand champion title. This is a huge deal for cat people. It is like the American Academy of Forensic Sciences Gradwhol Medal for cats. Now with Raymond being the ‘it’ thing in the New York art world at the moment the Cat Fancier’s Association commissioned him to do the champion’s painting. So if you can imagine, it is Ray painting the official portrait of Frank and his show cat!” Caine ran his wet fingers through his carmine hair.
“Oh, to have been a fly on the wall during that process.”
His countenance darkens just slightly and he makes a stilted, aborted motion to get out of the bathtub, waving over Speedle with a pleading expression to see if he could help up and out of the water. H speaks softly, the humour evaporated from his tone.
“For some reason Frank did not want to see me. He did not return my calls, did not come to see me. I cannot understand why.”
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As the pair sat there in silence, Timothy examined his usually unreadable mate and couldn't help but quirk a brow as he noticed the teeny knowing smirk on those otherwise rather thin lips. "What?" Tim sounded somewhat amused and extremely curious, there was something in those warm blue eyes that Timothy couldn't quite place. "You look like the cat that ate the canary." Tilting his head, Tim continued to stroke through his hair, feeling the wet strands through his fingers. "You're being awfully quiet, moreso than usual." Chuckling he offered a warm glance to the older man. This was nice, this was something Timmy had never allowed before, just..relaxing. Laying with Horatio Caine. Talking. But he couldn't let himself get caught up in all of that, he wouldn't allow it and Timothy knew that was paranoia talking but he simply could not let Horatio so far in back then. He couldn't.
When Horatio agreed, Timothy felt his heart trip and start to take that dangerous plunge downward. Horatio knew it was true, knew they were so fucked up, so broken that whatever they had became mangled, a completely different relationship. "I'm sorry I.." Timothy stammered out, trying to apologize for what? For everything? There was so much he needed to be held accountable for, so much he had done to Horatio that he didn't know where to start in his apologies. But as many times before, Horatio knew just what to say to ease his worry. The reply was like a balm on his wounds and Tim closed his eyes, allowing the words to relax his tense muscles as best they could. That is us. And that was all it took really, Timothy believed Horatio and that made sense. They were sick and twisted and together.
Opening his eyes at the touch, Timothy noticed the almost graceful way Horatio moved his hand, touching along the brand he permanently marred his skin with and Tim smiled, shaking his head. "You make it sound so simple. So normal." Timothy exhaled a breath, a sigh. Easing forward his lips brushed along Horatio's temple. "You make it so easy to go deep. Next time i'll take more of you." Timothy promised in a husky whisper. When he was finished with Horatio he wanted to be able to get inside all of the man. Which he knew wasn't quite possible but..
After handing Horatio the pills, Timothy was quite surprised when the normally eloquent red head began to stutter. He wondered what his Boss *former* was thinking that Tim was carrying and Tim was ashamed by the fact that Horatio thought it was anything else but pain killers. "I don't want you to be afraid of me." Timothy spoke under his breath, eyes downcast. He knew the damage was already done and of course Horatio was gunshy when it came to relationships, why shouldn't he be? But Timmy wanted to do better, make his Boss proud. Be a good boyfriend.
Although he had brough the conversation up himself, Tim found himself annoyed by the subject. Raymond C Caine was complicated and Timothy's feelings for him were even more complex. Not only did Tim find Ray's newly found charisma a ploy, he assumed Horatio had fallen for his bullshit once again. Unless he saw it with his own two eyes, Timothy would never believe Ray Caine and his fucking lies again. "Mm i'm sure he loves his new day jobs of scamming rich bored old house wives." The venom in his tone was still quite poisonous, even though Timothy was trying hard to contain his ..disdain for the younger Caine. Was Ray a good fuck? Yeah. Although Tim did regret laying with the man, seeing as being with Ray had the stigma of meth along with it, it wasn't a healthy relationship all around. An unwanted image of Ray dressed up as Horatio began to form however and with a grunt Tim shook his head, as if that could wipe it away. Erase what memory was left of that night.
cont!
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The subject change was both welcome and ..strange. Tim tilted his head, appearing more like a confused puppy than anything else. Um. "You lost me after cat show." And though he was aware of such things, they could not have possibly held his interest any less. Wow Frank and cat shows, something that went together like peanut butter and nails and yet somehow it worked. Apparently. "A show cat.." Timothy spoke slowly, tasting the words and finding them to be pretty damn sour. But he just shook his head, okay! Well if that was what Frank liked, who was he to begruge his long long Miami friend, especially after he had lost so much.
Once Horatio motioned to him, Timothy stood and snagged a warm puffy towel. As the older man stood, wobbly but fairly straight, Timothy encased him in warmth, rubbing his arms up and down from over the comfortable material. Drying him off at the same time. Standing behind him the motion quickly paused and Tim was taken aback. "What? Frank doesn't talk to you, why?!" That didn't sound like the giant Texan. Frank was good friends with Horatio and Tim didn't understand in the least why he refused to contact Caine. That grated on his nerves.
"Did you have any contact with the others?" Tim wasn't sure what made him ask but he was curious. "And.. where does this Kiet live again?" Trying to be casual about it, Timothy stood in front of Horatio, hands still on Horatio's arms rubbing slowly with a small smile. But that look held quite a bit of expression. That jealousy was back although in a more playful way this time. Not that he would ever track Kiet down and beat his ass..well maybe not. Probably. Mm. "Just out of curiousity. Maybe I know him." Timothy purred.
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“I was just thinking about some of our past experiences and the new ones that we can share.”
The comment in and of itself was not sexual but the playful heat in Caine’s blue eyes certainly was. Then he paused and half lidded his eyes, trying not to offer any clue if his next statement was connected to the one he had just spoken.
“Is Grissom in charge of my lab?”
The Miami-Dade crime lab was still his lab and Horatio knew that even if after dealing with Crow he ended up being prosecuted for Homicide 1, even if he sat shackled in court facing the death penalty with his former team testifying for the prosecution it would still be his lab.
His dislike for Gil Grissom was bitter, intense but with a shallow foundation. There was no real cause for bad blood between them, except perhaps the grounds for a professional rivalry though that seemed below Grissom’s dispassionate nature. Personally the slightly older man was his antithesis in every way but the two CSI supervisors did have one thing in common: Speedle. Idly H wondered if the two had been together during his absence. Here in the apartment, in the lab. These thoughts made jealousy’s cold fingers wrap tightly around his heart and he could feel anger scratching at his chest. No. He had decided to be more understanding of Tim’s desires, his needs and if that meant biting back his thorough dislike of Grissom so be it. In fact that would be a true test of his resolve to accommodate his boy, if he could also make room in their lives for a man, who was in all honesty admirable, but whom he found repugnant. He silently wondered just how far he could make himself go for the man he loved. Just what he could force himself not to feel, what and who he would do.
H tilted his head just slightly into Speed’s soft kiss to his temple. He could feel Tim’s breath as much as the light caress of his lips and it tickled his skin. After such intense, overwhelming sensations of pain and pressure the light, subtle touch was refreshing.
”For me it is indeed simple. Very simple. There is life with you and no life without."
The statement was absolutely true, New York had proven it so. Caine simply faded away without Speedle.
H quieted his own voice and murmured his reply when Tim proposed taking ‘more’ of him. A twinge of pain in his ass as the throbbing, opened flesh started to readjust itself back to it’s normal tightness caused his concerns of not being able to satisfy just what Speed really needed to return. He would give it his best, push his own limits- it was the least he could do for the man he loved but had, a victim of his own emotional weakness, abandoned.
“I just don‘t know how much deeper I have to give you. But we...can try.”
The redhead ducked down and let the tip of his tongue trace the lines of keloid scaring that made up the tiny ‘H’ on Speedle’s arm with wet strokes. His boy. Forever.
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“Yes, Speed, for a moment I was afraid.”
He narrowed his gaze, faint brows lowering but the otherwise slack muscles of his face betraying that it was introspection not anger that caused the change of expression.
“I mistrust you and I need to fix that. I...need to fix that- but I have seen you loose control of your violent tendencies. I thought that this might be one of those times and I want...”
He groaned at his own stumbling. What Caine, what do you want?
“I want to be enough for you. I want to push my body to breaking point for you, but, I am only a man.”
It would be so easy to simply say ‘I was afraid because I cannot handle anymore tonight’ but Horatio could not bring himself to say that.
“Now, do not tell the city of Miami that fact- it would dispel my myth of invincibility. It may come to light that I actually cannot out run an explosion.”
He chuckled but the hollow laugh was mingled with a sigh.
H had to admit he was surprised by how strongly Speed’s reaction to discussing his little brother. In an odd way he though finding out that Raymond was well and clean would be welcomed news. That Ray had virtually pushed his older sibling out of his life would be a relief to the younger man. The hate in Tim’s voice, the words seeped in rancour, actually made the wispy russet hairs on the nape of his neck stand on end. A surge of protectiveness caused him to unconsciously ball his fists, the dull pain in his sore joints making him aware of the act and he forced himself to unclench his fingers. Caine gave a long, hard look over at his lover.
“I think he is more interested in the college girls than the housewives but Raymond never has been...ungenerous with his attentions.”
His blue eyes still focused on Speedle’s face he tilted his head, raising a slim copper brow inquisitively.
“Speed, why are you so angry at Raymond?”
There were a thousand possibilities of why with the chequered life his brother led but H was hoping he could have Tim articulate the most pressing issues. Something he might be able to intervene with and fix between the two most important men in his life. He lightly bit his lower lip and he finally dropped his azure gaze, looking down at his naked body the movement of the bathwater somewhat distorting his features.
“Tim....”
His voice seemed to drag from his throat, rough and hoarse.
“Is he better than I am? When you fuck him, is it better?”
H spread his fingers and laid the pad of each one on a freckle on his chest, his index finger landing the dip of his suprasternal notch.
“Can he take more? I know he is better at sucking you, he has been quite insistent on that point.”
Horatio was genuinely curious- he did not know all the particulars of his boy and his brother’s encounters but he knew that Ray seemed to have an uncanny way of riling up Speed. On occasion he had considered the notion of asking Raymond just what he found the dark-haired CSI enjoyed best. What position milked him of the most seed, what were the best ways to stroke his cock, how did he like to be tongued during fellatio. But there was something deeply disturbing about ‘comparing notes’ on how to please the same lover with his brother and so the subject had never been broached.
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“I thought perhaps you would know. If there was some prevailing antagonism lingering towards me among the Miami, and former Miami crew I thought the least he could do was tell me so. Frank has always been my closest friend here, and he has been since my days on the Bomb Squad.”
H furrowed his brows and started, much more steady on his feet now after his soak, back towards the bed. The truth was Frank was one of his only friends who was just a friend. He still found himself recalling the fact that Timothy and the imposing detective had screwed, trying to imagine it. And Speed had taken him. Taken that massive, thick, uncut horse cock of Frank’s that Horatio had to work to keep from admiring to the point of drooling at the urinal.
Of all Speedle’s indiscretions it had to be the one that fascinated him the most.
When near the bed he could smell their sex still thick in the air and that combined with imagining Tim and Frank made his dick twitch. It was more painful than pleasurable and he shuddered, turning to face Speed. His dark eyes were fiery and Caine found himself licking his thin lips. He shook his head just lightly at the question and his eyes had drifted down from Speedle’s face to his body.
“No, I have not been in touch with anyone from Miami. Really of all the people I know it was only Raymond and Mac that I saw.”
H sounds slightly distracted and he turns away, clucking his tongue to chide Speed over the question about Kiet.
“Tim.”
The sheets on the bed were a mess, sweat-soaked, coated in dried filmy white stains, some peppered with burgandy flecks. Somewhat gracelessly he bends down and grasps a handful of the reeking fabric, pulling it towards him. He wanted to lay down and knew that the linens would have to be replaced before he could be comfortable.
“And I have no idea. No...idea.”
The redhead glanced over his shoulder.
“Honestly. He was the Thai delivery boy, I met him a few times. He only stayed a few days and never said much to me. It was not a romance by any means, just one blow job.”
H could see cum dried on the fabric in his hands and he brushed his thumb over the stain, finding the spot was still slightly damp.
“I wanted your cum, I wanted to taste you again but he was all I had.”
He brought the sheet up to his mouth and inhaled deeply, unashamed of just how desperately queer he was for the younger man. He poked his tongue from between his thin lips and lapped at the smear of jizz, trying to taste if it was his own or his lover’s. He could not get enough in his mouth to really satisfy himself and he found to his surprise he was trembling just slightly. Caine was literally torn inside but he wanted it again, wanted more. He never could get enough of Speed.
He turned back to face Tim and let the sheet fall from his hold and dropped the towel next. His chest heaved as he breathed hard, his blue eyes darting back and forth but not particularly seeing anything. Horatio was caught between every iota of common sense he had telling him to just lay down and rest and lust pushing him to have just one more taste of Speedle tonight.
He tried to kneel before Speed but it was a pathetic sight, his stiff sore body making every move difficult, clumsy.
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"Grissom is back in Vegas, with Nick Stokes." Once Horatio had left, Timothy realized that was who he wanted, who he needed and Grissom had realized that and left, last he heard Gil was living a good life with Nick and Timothy was happy for the older man. "Right now our favorite ray of sunlight is in charge." Calleigh of course, not that Timothy minded, Tim never wanted to be number one. No, that job was for Horatio Caine only.
The moment Timothy mentioned taking more of him, Timmy noticed the man visibly tense up and he had to chuckle. "You can take whatever I have to give and more. I know you can." Timothy soothed. And he believed that. He had yet to meet another male of such deviency to match his own. Watching Horatio touch his scar had a flash of pleasure roll through him and he purred out a low sound. It was fascinating to watch such a powerful man as Horatio be so submissive when he was around Timothy. However at work, it was always a different story. Horatio told him what to do and Timothy snapped to it. Mostly. That was how it should be.
When Horatio admitted the fear, a lump had to swallowed in the back of his throat. He felt sick of course, upset that Horatio could possibly fear him but there was also understanding. Of course it made sense, especially after what Timothy just did to him a few moments ago. Accepting that, he nodded. Apologizing again would do nothing, it was meaningless at this point he was sure. All he could do now was try to change and show Horatio improvement and he sure as hell would try his best. Reaching up, Timothy touched his knuckles along Horatio's cheek in sort of a silent apology, which hopefully would have to do for now. But his own eyes lit up with that same hero worship from years ago after their first meeting. "You can do anything." Tim whispered whole heartedly.
And then it all reverted back to Ray Caine and Timothy could instantly feel the way Horatio changed. Body posture and tone and look. Protecting his baby brother yet again. At the question, Timothy grunted, lip curling. He didn't want to bring it all up once more, rehashing Ray Caine over and over. "How can you ask me that." It wasn't exactly a question, more like an annoyed statement. "Your brother bled you dry, emotionally. Financially. He used you. He wanted you." And the sheer anger, the vitrol from that last statement even surprised himself. He had no idea how much he had been holding inside while Horatio was away but he recalled the images in his mind of lonely nights spent in Miami while Ray was able to fuck Horatio Caine. Fuck what was his. Cantering his head to the side he chuffed hot breath, literally willing the pictures away from his mind's eye. "Your brother doesn't deserve you." Is what it came down to.
cont..!
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"In fact I had him dress up as you at one point. The voice.. he was so good with your inflections." Timothy exhaled a quiet breath. Kissing his palm once more. When Horatio sidled away, Timothy licked his lips and chuckled at the tsking sound. "What? I wasn't gonna track him down or anything." The lilt to his tone was playful and light. Timothy wasn't as nearly as jealous as he normally would have been but that was because Horatio was no longer in New York.
Utterly fascinated, Timothy watched Horatio's behavior and he supposed this was why he loved the man. They were both rather twisted and Horatio appeared to need Timmy as much as Timmy needed/craved Horatio. Watching him taste the stains, inhale their scent, it lit Timothy's nerves up once more. "Horatio don't.." Timothy whimpered. Because he knew where this was leading and his own bones ached from such a rough brutal fuck, his dick was sore and slightly over-taxed but that was something Tim was accustomed to of course. Horatio on the other hand..
"Jesus don't.." Timmy gasped as the older man fought to get to his knees. Taking a step forward, Timothy halted the stilted moves and growled, pushing Horatio *somewhat gently* back to the bed. "Why do you do this..why do you make me crazy.." Timothy murmured against Horatio's lips, kissing licking tasting whatever he could as he moaned. His cock only half hard but there was still life surging through the used shaft. Of course there was, when Horatio was near. That was all it took. Timothy lay Horatio down on the used, drenched sheets and loomed over the prone man on all fours. He knew what Horatio wanted and despite the ache in his balls, Tim was happy to give it to him.
Crawling up the slim body, Timothy widened his thighs, his reddened meat sagging over Horatio's lips now as Timothy tried to mount that over-eager mouth. Ready to fuck it at the awkward angle, ready to make Horatio take it. "Open." Timothy commanded in a strong, hungry tone. He was willing to allow Horatio to suck him to completion but Tim had to be on top. He had to show his dominance over the older man, especially now. Especially after the talk of Ray and Kiet.
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