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This new..almost sly Horatio was cute. When Horatio admitted to the mirror, Timothy smiled. “There’s a lot of new things I wanted to try with you. Mirror, fist, roleplay..” Timothy laughed quietly, shaking his head. He never did admit to any of these things before and he absolutely regretted that. He wouldn’t allow it to happen again. “Out in the
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H blinked rather blankly listening to Tim’s ideas. The mirror, yes he liked that idea very much. Photographs and risking a ‘blue heaven’ again, no. One close call was enough. Fisting? Hmmm, well, it could not be worse than the way Speedle fucked him with his dick. It was something Raymond liked- though Raymond liked a lot of strange things. Horatio gave no real sound of commitment, he just made a soft sound while nodding. He knew that, really, his opinion was secondary to what Speed wanted. If Timothy was determined enough he would have it.
Though he said nothing about his younger sibling when he was mentioned Speedle showed clear signs of retrained hostility at his mention. Caine considered saying something in his brother’s defence but caught himself after the first clipped syllable of Raymond’s name. H felt the need to protect his brother and wanted Speed to know the positive changes he had made in his life; yet he knew that now was not the time. There was too much to deal with between themselves.
Caine stretched his sore shoulders, his thin lips pursing. With only a slight adjustment of his position on bed he placed on of hands on his hip, head tilting just a touch to the side. It was the look.
”Tim, Speed, please, stop apologising. I should have spoken to you about it. I...should have stood up for myself. Why I can stand ten feet tall with a badge on my hip but not raise a concern with the man I love while off-duty I have no idea.“
He shrugged, rubbing the side of his neck, feeling how damp his hairline still was.
“I am not the kind of man who runs away- but I did. I may not entirely be who I had convinced myself I was.”
The darkness that washed over Speedle’s face told Horatio that his lover had drawn the right conclusion over his vague allusion to Crow. His gaze was still narrowed, distant but his slim brows slowly relaxed from an angry lour to a more sad, thoughtful expression.
“We will get him. We...will get him....”
The almost violently fervid spark that fuelled his initial proclamation had been weakened by doubt that had managed in only a few moments to seep into his mind. Between he and Timothy surly they were more than enough to rid the city of it‘s two-faced Colombian scourge; and yet an unvoiced ‘but‘ addendum to his confident statement hung in the air.
“I just worry...”
About you. About bringing out the worst in you again. The ginger fidgeted, suddenly the drying sweat on his skin felt prickly and fluid still slowly oozing down his backside was uncomfortably sticky on his thighs. He shook his head slowly and then glanced at Speed but felt compelled to quickly look away.
“I should just be able to walk up to him, to draw my service arm and shoot him. I could be at a distance with a rifle. I could make a bomb, no one would question my presence around the mayor’s car, his office. Something stops me. I am not usually afraid of anything but these thoughts make my blood run cold. I feel icy fingers around my throat. Somehow Cuervo would survive, somehow he would be worse. Everything would somehow be worse. It is not about honour or justice any longer, I cannot kid myself and say it is. And although I know I could never be as....visceral....in revenge as you and Frank, I do know that you and I must act.”
H found his courage returning and was able to look back at the younger man.
“We have to be smart about it. That is all that I ask: we....have to be....smart.”
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For this moment, no matter how brief it may end up being, H actually felt that he had control over Speedle. The dark-haired man was squirming underneath him, his milked-dry cock somehow finding it’s way back to arousal punctuated by throbbing twitches that Caine could feel against his own body. It had to hurt, the flesh had to be sore and raw; so he avoided any direct touch to the organ other than the tickle of his breath.
Timothy’s answer to his first question made Caine all the more intent on working his former CSI back into a fever pitch. He could almost feel the acid in the words and it made the fine hairs on the nape of his neck stand erect. Tim would stop him. Tim would not let him leave. It was just what Horatio Caine wanted, needed to hear. They were together now until the bitter end. And it was the way it should be: Speedle was his boy. His boy. No one else could understand him or want him or be wanted by him the way he could. A sudden wave of disgust washed over H at those thoughts. Dear God, I sound like Raymond! A momentary flash of uneasiness crossed his face but he quickly banished it. Could it be as simple as that is what love really feels like? Lost in that sentiment he was brought crashing back to reality when Speedle finally responded in earnest to his goading.
Why had he wanted this? Why had he provoked him? Their sex had been rough enough to leave him bruised and bleeding and yet he found himself needing that next step. To be for Speed what only he could be. Willing, whether on scene in the line of fire, or here on their sweaty, cum stained sheets, to go the extra mile. leering down at him. Pressed back against the mattress he could feel the weight of Tim on his chest, making his now racing heart beat all the faster as he panted for air. The young man was leering at him, trying to read his face with the mix of measured training and wild jealousy that his boy possessed. What was Speedle looking for? H’s teeth started to chatter and Horatio suddenly found himself afraid of what Speed was capable of, unaware that his fear might be misread as guilt. The younger man’s gaze seemed far too predatory to allow reason to be high in his currently chain of thought; and his dick was hard, not to it’s normal iron-strength but enough to hurt like hell.
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His opened hole gave no resistance to being entered beyond the slight friction of a layer of partially dried blood-speckled semen. As Speedle pushed into him Caine clawed at the sheets, biting down on the bed beneath him to try and handle the shock creeping through him. His muscles were spent and aching, his insides were injured and it felt like Speed had rammed a piece of white hot steel inside him. It reminded Horatio of a gunshot wound- pain that felt larger than the injury actually was and burning like hell. Even the salt from Tim’s skin added it’s own layer of torment to the fragile red flesh inside him which was wounded with miniscule tears. He shook uncontrollably and his eyes and nose watered. When Speed pulled out torturously slowly he first tried to climb forward, reaching for the wrought metal of the bed-frame but finding that only increased the pain one of his arms went flailing back behind him. H tried to scratch or grab at any part of Speedle he might reach in an effort to push him off before the inevitable re-entry. Caine could no manage anything but clumsy, ineffectual swipes and the soreness in his shoulder forced him to give up the effort. Bringing his arm back to his side his elbow brushed his own cock, it was basically limp and yet, to his surprise, he found it dribbling a small amount of thin fluid. H lightly touched the slit at the end of his penis but quickly drew his fingers away, finding the skin much too sensitive to be stroked. He braced himself to be taken again, placing just his forehead against the mattress and arching his back slightly- hoping to be driven slightly up and off the bed instead of straight into it, which would just alow Tim to enter further inside him. He made a deep but whining sound as the younger man re-mounted him and for a second, short and stark amidst the pain, he felt a tickle of pleasure sweep through his body. The agony that followed was more intense and seemed to fill his mind and then he could see first stars in front of his eyes but that burst into tiny point of light and faded. Speed’s heavy breathing was drowned by a humming with no external source and then the redhead fainted, limp but propped up awkwardly by his copper-crowned head.
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“No one! Just....one...”
H could feel his body rocking and knew he was being fucked, and fucked hard, but he felt Speed’s breath and wet tongue against his neck more than he could feel his guts. His body had decided this intrusion, a second assault into so sensitive and tender a part, was a serious threat and, mercifully, the former lieutenant was partially in shock. Still in no real medical danger but hurt and now being wounded all the more he knew he was in pain but found himself unable to pin point just where any longer. There was a throb to the misery, it swelled to fiery pain that made his quaking body shudder all the more and ebbed to a cold ache in waves that coincided with the thrusting of the man breeding him. He rubbed his bright red cheek against the sheet absent mindedly, the action random as he writhed in his anguish, whimpering, his hands gripping the sheets so tightly he felt his joints would snap at the base of his fingers.
Tim’s feline act of gripping his neck in his jaws with a fierce bite to hold him it added one more layer to the overload of sensation in his body. H could feel the slightly sharper canine teeth cutting in and the blunt pressure of the shorter, duller teeth and Caine’s his head was throbbing. He did not think he could stand it all any longer and tried to shift himself sideways again, despite the fact it made Speed’s cock slide somewhat obliquely which had the effect to stretch his ass-hole all the more open.
His voice when he managed to continue speaking was a tinny squeal altogether different from his normal gravelly, deep finely metered tone.
“...One blow job!! God....oh god......”
Horatio sobbed, struggling to gather in enough breath to speak.
“Not even Ray. I swear to you!”
He shrieked, his words hitching with his erratic breathing.
”No one! No one....“
Horatio felt weak again and struggled to keep his wits, he was again overcome with a feeling of weightlessness. His speech degenerated back into mumbling, begging his boy over and over again to stop.
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The sounds coming from Horatio were so unlike the older man and even through the years they were together Timothy couldn’t recall anything as tortured as he was hearing now. Eyes closing he tried to calm himself down and he hated the fact that he was already so.. cruel. He vowed to himself that he wouldn't be the same monster that drove Horatio away but here he was, literally ruining Horatio's insides. But two things were fueling him and one was of course, jealousy. The second was something deeper, more primal. And that was he enjoyed having Horatio cry out and writhe and beg beneath him, he adored being on top of one of the most powerful men in Miami-Dade. No other man or woman satisfied him like Horatio did. How he enjoyed filling that backside with his seed was indescribable.
Tilting backwards, Tim watched Horatio flail around, trying to claw at him it seemed but he only managed to slow his pace for a brief moment before getting a more firm grip on those slim hips. Digging downward he growled, cursing, "You wanted this..you wanted me to do this.." The words were breathy, hissed almost and he was unsure if Horatio could hear him or not. Too soon did he revert to the old Timothy and he was furious with himself that he did but unable to stop as Horatio finally admitted to someone. One person. Mm. It didn't take long for Horatio to start begging, pleading with him to stop and after a few more moments, Timothy did. His pause continued before finally leaning over, licking where his teeth had sunk into the pale flesh along the back of his neck before he spoke softly, though still out of breath from the effort.
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Getting out of bed, Timothy snagged some pj bottoms and tugged them on before heading to the bathroom and getting a warm washcloth. Sitting back down onto the bed, Tim held the washcloth in his hands, looking down at it. Right now, Tim was having some serious doubts about..everything. About bringing Horatio back. God did he love him but in what way? In some twisted angry fuck way? "I'm not good for you." Tim whispered under his breath. For the first time, he trying not to be selfish. And maybe now wasn't the best time to talk about this. Half turning he began to gently wash Horatio's thighs, his belly, then nudging him to lay on his belly, Tim began to wipe around his abused hole.
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When Tim came back with a wash cloth Caine watched as he helped to clean him up. It was such a caring act and the redhead struggled not to tear up. He was quiet while Speed washed away the mess he had made, the loudest sound he made was to suck in a deep breath through clenched teeth as the damp fabric touched his gaped hole. The water stung just enough that he had to force himself to keep still. The fact that he was utterly enervated actually helped- his over-taxed muscles and stiff joints fought every motion his body made no matter how slight. When he could no longer stand the feel of the cloth against his tender cock and ass the red-head gently pushed against Speedle so that he could roll onto his side. It seemed to be the most comfortable position and he curled his fingers into a fist and rested his cheek against his lightly freckled hand. When Horatio spoke his voice was calm and steady, only slightly hoarse from crying out in pain and being dehydrated after their extended session. And laying still had allowed him to finally catch his breath. It seemed he had been aroused or strained enough to be panting from the moment he had walked through the apartment door- of course, that was life with Tim.
“Why...did I do that? Why did I...do....that?”
He half smiled, a little strained but in no way forced, trying to let Speedle know that he was alright without having to awkwardly say so outrightly.
“I know better than to tease my boy. Correction: I should know better.”
Now it was the older man’s turn to try and read the younger’s face and what he saw there concerned him. Speed seemed troubled and H worried that he had let him down by not being able to handle this last fuck. Did he regret this sex? Their reunion? Did he have someone better now? The words of love had seemed sincere, his own were, was he just being paranoid? Horatio’s expression darkened and he rolled over to his back, slim legs planted so his knees were bent and his weight dispersed on his shoulders and lower back rather than his butt. H knew that in a few hours his anus would be back to normal openness and not so pathetically tender which would be a relief. The bruising he normally enjoyed anytime that Speedle rode him ferociously he expected to be much worse this time and he wondered how he would manage to be around his boy without being able to take him. Caine decided if he had any chance of keeping the spark of their renewed relationship alive he would have to be creative. The bleeding was something he had very little experience dealing with- only faint traces when he had been done dry. Though he suspected if it was anything to be worried about by know they would know.
Running his fingers through his russet hair it felt as though every muscle from his shoulder blade to his wrist was pulled. Normally it would have been enough discomfort to cause a reaction but in his current state the pain merely registered with his nerves and was instantly forgotten. At this moment Horatio desperately wanted to just touch Tim, to embrace him and be embraced by him and yet he did not dare. He was convinced that he, by merely being flesh and blood, had somehow proved himself inadequate. H softened his gravelly voice as much as he could manage to with his dry mouth.
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'Ask’ was an understatement but Horatio used the phrasing purposefully. He was in no way angry with Speedle, after all he had coaxed him into mounting him again, though it was disturbing to see just how powerful and brutal the dark-haired man became when he lost control. Still there was certainly a noticeable difference in Speed . It took more pushing to put him over the edge and he snapped out of it faster. H idly scratched an itchy spot at the back of his neck and felt the twin welts forming in the pattern of Tim’s canine teeth brought about by his rather savage ‘love bite’. From cases in the past, mostly rapes, he could picture just how ugly a mark a set of human jaws could make on the flesh. Particularly pale skin like his own. Caine cocked his head just slightly and tried to see if and how his nip had bruised Speedle’s neck. Still lightly fingering the wound on his nape with just the tips of his fingers he let his head fell back, reaching for a pillow to place behind his head with his other hand. Finding none within grasp he realised that they had long been kicked to the floor or pushed out of his reach; and he scooted himself over closer to his former CSI to try and use one of Speed’s now clothed legs for a headrest.
“Kiet.”
Horatio blinked rapidly after his non sequitur- the inquiry during the last painful penetration not forgotten. He rolled his blue eyes up to stare at Tim from his rather novel view point, seeing mostly stubble-shadowed chin, podgy cheeks and the underside of his nose. The ends of his black eye lashes were just visible poking out past the chub of his prominent cheeks.
“The Thai delivery boy. He needed a place to stay just briefly and I allowed him stay in my apartment. Raymond’s room was empty and so I let him have that. The first night he was there I sucked him to climax.”
He closed his eyes and sighed deeply in an attempt to rid himself off building tension.
“He reminded me of you, that was why. Dark hair, scruffy, fat cheeks. Though his dick was small and he did not get hard the way you do. No one gets hard the way you do, Speed."
Horatio cracked open one eye to see Speedle’s reaction to his admission.
“He did not tug on my hair or hump my throat. He was a lovely young man but it did very little for me. I did not cum until later, in bed, thinking of you. Always you.”
The older man turned his head so that his cheek rested against the fabric of Speed’s sleep pants, bringing up his hand and smoothing out a few of the wrinkles in the cloth near his face.
“No sex. In the beginning Ray was a pest, as per usual, but he has quite a nice life of his own now and soon forgot about me.”
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‘Is Speedle still there?’
“Yes, of course.”
‘Really? He hasn’t buggered off somewhere else? Been fired? Crashed into a guardrail and decapitated himself? Isn’t he driving you crazy?’
“What do you mean?”
‘He doesn’t clean his gun, he doesn’t follow dress code, he’s terrible with the press. His attitude is just terrible in general. How do you expect to safely carry a proper SoC kit to scenes on a chopper? Do you know how many slides he goes through moving his kit that way?! We had to have an entire ‘shit Speedle breaks’ budget! He ended up just borrowing Calleigh‘s stuff half the time.’
“He does very good work. Very...good work. He is just a little lost right now, he needs guidance. Some horses run better in the harness, remember? I seem to recall I have been a thorn in the side of every supervisor I have ever had, present company included.”
‘I don't think discipline helps if you blissfully disregard it, Horatio. And I don't think you could ever make a Horatio Caine out of a Timothy Speedle!‘ “Well, I have been ‘a Horatio Caine’ all of my life and I would not particularly recommend it....”
Of course Speed did not turn out to be 'lost’ at all- he turned out to just be Speed. And H had not needed a harness so much as he needed a jockey- a position his boy eagerly filled. Which was more than enough for Horatio. Speedle kept him from taking himself too seriously, kept him from going through the motions in auto pilot.
Horatio pursed his lips and then wet them with the tip of his tongue. His mind was full of memories, images that flashed briefly or lingered for a few seconds like a motion picture. A muddy Tim on a canal bank with reflected light from the water painting pale blue swirls and slashes across his jeans. The day when he first join the lab and at start of his own shift and end of hers he had found Calleigh by her locker hunched up with slender arms crossed across her perfect chest. Green eyes narrowed and lips pouty, looking tiny and huffy like a toy dog after a bath. 'He’s mean, Lieutenant Caine, he’s messy and mean and I don’t like him.’ Lieutenant Caine, he was still enough of a stranger to be Lt. Caine to Calleigh back then! It had taken a while to soothe the little blonde’s ruffled feathers over Speedle whose sarcasm did not mesh with her warm, open earnestness. Though by the time he inherited his three experts from Donner they had formed a cohesive trio- the occasional drained-and-not-recharged UV light battery incident aside. Fast forward and there was Speed managing to glare at a film negative with such an air of scorn as if that alone could make the image captured upon it change. In his cyan lab coat that despite being professionally pressed by the lab linens staff somehow managed to become wrinkled as soon as Tim put it on. The image in his mind was framed by panes of the glass paneled door he had watched him through. Then suddenly he had become aware of being watched himself. It was Frank and when Horatio turned he was getting a taste of his own ‘hands on the hips, head cocked’ look and he could still recall how the blush that rose across his skin made the top of his earlobes burn. Tripp had said nothing, merely cocking one brow and shaking his head. But he knew, and Horatio realized that despite his every action being justifiable in a supervisory fashion his attraction was obvious.
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He cut his reverie off at that point, Pre-Nico, and slowly forced himself up with some difficulty.
“Speed...”
Caine sat on his knees, leaning slightly forward, one hand on the younger man’s leg.
“Speed, I have always loved you. Tell me you believe that. Tell me that this is not going to end. Tell me what I need to do to be certain this is not going to end.”
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"Teasing me shouldn't get you .." Raped. "..into this situation." Timothy corrected Horatio gently. "You know I can't keep doing this to you, it's sick." Tim exhaled a sigh. Pulling the cloth away, Timothy scowled at it, the normally pristine white was tinted with a pinkish red color and he shook his head. Damn it. "We need to get you into a bath Horatio. I've got some baking soda and the warm water will help with the tearing." Of course Timothy would know what to do in this situation, he has been through it countless times, which actually made him color his cheeks. He was internally ashamed about that and why shouldn't he be? And when Horatio actually apologized, Timmy felt his cheeks darken even more and he looked away.
"You didn't ask, you begged." Timothy whispered, scowling. Though his eyes did close briefly and he hated the fact that he could hear Horatio's voice echo in his mind, the desperation, the need to get Tim off of him and he felt the familiar warmth of arousal in his belly. He hated that. Brought out of his self loathing he noticed a weight on his leg and he had to smile a little down at Horatio. Automatically his hand went to card through that unruly red hair, petting through the sweaty mess, smoothing it back only to watch it flutter down over his eyes. Tim chuckled at that and then settled to listen to Horatio's story.
"Bless you." Tim replied casually, the name sounded more like a sneeze to him. Kiet? What was that, Vietnamese? Biting his tongue he refused to comment on the part where the young lad wanted to bunk with Horatio. Who wouldn't? As Timothy tensed, so did Horatio so he forced himself to relax and kept stroking him, trying to calm the older man. While Horatio was explaining, of course Timothy became jealous but the older man also knew how to diffuse that mess. Just poke Timothy's ego. And he puffed his chest out just slightly as Horatio mentioned him getting hard. Timmy looked down at the man, one brow still cocked but he wore a tightly amused smile. When Horatio mentioned no sex, Tim let go of a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. No idea why he thought he had any right to Horatio while he was away but that didn't matter.
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Horatio had gone quiet and Timothy said nothing during the comfortable silence. Normally people began to squirm when things went quiet but Timmy just sat there complacently and thought. Thought about Horatio of course and how he treated him, how screwed up their relationship was and what he coudl do to fix it. When Horatio began to move, Tim was again brought back to reality and he flinched as Horatio struggled to get to his knees. When Horatio spoke it was odd, like hearing the words for the first time, as if it really cut through him and Tim closed his eyes briefly.
Finally he opened them again, the normally stormy brown eyes were softer and Tim stood up, walking away from Horatio he headed for the bathroom. He spent a few moments rustling through some things he came back out carrying a small prescription bottle of codeine and set it down on the bed next to the other man. Looking down momentarily he glanced over at Horatio and reached out with both hands, palms cupping Horatio's cheeks as he eased into a soft kiss. Pulling away with a slow smack he touched his forehead against Horatio's.
"I love you too." Tim admitted.
Cocking his head he leaned away and gave him a pointed look, "Now get in the tub." Tim ordered. Standing up he headed back into the bathroom and began to run the water. Keeping it pretty luke warm for now as he called back over his shoulder. "So..how is Raymond Caine doing anyway. I'm surprised we haven't done a chalk outline of him yet." Then he squinted in thought, "Come to think of it I haven't seen him around Miami much, he follow you to New York?" Tim asked curiously, though that made sense. Ray would go wherever Horatio was.
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