Dreams...
Yeah, i've been having some weird recurring dreams lately. Well i guess you can't say that they are recurring because they aren't the same every time, but the subject of them is.
Seem's like everytime i go to bed, i'm thinking of something happy, something that makes me feel good inside. But then i fall asleep. I start out with a normal dream but then for some unexplained reason or another, I end up encountering Chelsea. It never ends good from there. For some reason, it always ends up that i'm arguing with her. Evidently something comes up and we battle it out. The thing that makes me mad is that when i wake up, i can never remember what we were arguing about, but i just remember that it was pretty heated. I've even found myself waking up with tears in my eyes because of it.
I want it to stop but i don't know how. I'm not sure what it all means. Perhaps there are still some things in my inner self that i need to get out and tell her, things that if they could leave me would make me so much happier. I still have things i need to battle out with her. Perhaps if i could get those inner feelings to come out in clarity, she wouldd see me in a different light. I don't know though. This is all just speculation. Or maybe its the fact that i'm so torn up over the fact that she hates me that it is comming to haunt me at night. I don't know. But i really want to know. It's driving me mad.
I know i shouldn't be torn up about it, but i am. I'm always uber upset when someone i was friends with or had some form of relationship with decides to turn on me and despise me. It hurts me so much. But as soon as i see the bad side in that person, the pain goes away. But the problem here is that I don't see a bad side in her. She's just scared of what she doesn't know and is too reluctant to find out the truth. I feel sorry for her. Litterally i do because it hurts me.
Maybe we'll all just grow up one day.
-Tim
Seem's like everytime i go to bed, i'm thinking of something happy, something that makes me feel good inside. But then i fall asleep. I start out with a normal dream but then for some unexplained reason or another, I end up encountering Chelsea. It never ends good from there. For some reason, it always ends up that i'm arguing with her. Evidently something comes up and we battle it out. The thing that makes me mad is that when i wake up, i can never remember what we were arguing about, but i just remember that it was pretty heated. I've even found myself waking up with tears in my eyes because of it.
I want it to stop but i don't know how. I'm not sure what it all means. Perhaps there are still some things in my inner self that i need to get out and tell her, things that if they could leave me would make me so much happier. I still have things i need to battle out with her. Perhaps if i could get those inner feelings to come out in clarity, she wouldd see me in a different light. I don't know though. This is all just speculation. Or maybe its the fact that i'm so torn up over the fact that she hates me that it is comming to haunt me at night. I don't know. But i really want to know. It's driving me mad.
I know i shouldn't be torn up about it, but i am. I'm always uber upset when someone i was friends with or had some form of relationship with decides to turn on me and despise me. It hurts me so much. But as soon as i see the bad side in that person, the pain goes away. But the problem here is that I don't see a bad side in her. She's just scared of what she doesn't know and is too reluctant to find out the truth. I feel sorry for her. Litterally i do because it hurts me.
Maybe we'll all just grow up one day.
-Tim