Honey and Snow
Title: Honey and Snow
Author: timmii_luvs
Pairing: Yesung/Sungmin
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: He hates the snow because it’s deceiving, just like faith
_____________________
He stared down the tattered pink bunny plushie. He didn’t recognize it. It was old, color faded to a light cotton candy pink with clear stitching from whenever someone had patched it up. Setting it aside, the man moved onto the next item. A letter. Worn, messy and crinkling in spots that had been hit by tears of sorrow. His eyes skimmed it gently, absorbing the words. He didn’t know who was the man who wrote I, only that it was addressed to him, the handwriting shaky.
But he felt nothing
The words he spoke were rough, strained. The name he called in turn, harsh, forced, almost dead. How much longer would he suffer through this? Why would God be such a cruel entity? They never did anything wrong. Simply lived their lives out, plain, repetitive, but rewarding and much loved. But now he prayed ever night by his bedside. He spilt tears of sorrow. Found himself wandering to his bedroom by himself, hoping, wishing, desperately pleading, for the whole thing to be a nightmare. Instead, he would wake, cold, and alone.
And he grew numb
These people who claimed to be his friends would stop by, day after day, leaving their condolences. But why? He didn’t understand. What was there to be sad or sorry about? And when he turned his head to Yesung, the man simply smiled softly, his eyes glazed with a mixture of emotions that he couldn’t place, but none the less disliked. So he would wrap his arms around the one person who was there with him since the beginning, a constant in his life, and offered what little comfort he could. Because he didn’t understand, and without the knowledge of knowing, he was unable to do much more.
What was wrong?
The arms around him couldn’t feel any more familiar. It was warm, comforting and it shattered the already cracked pieces of his heart. He never thought a hug, smile, glance, could hurt as much as it did now. So innocent, so pure, so devoid of memories he held dear. But he couldn’t cry, never. The other man didn’t know and that would be how it stared. The information locked away. Shrouded by a mask and shielded by the rain that soaked up his pain. He would keep this secret no matter how much it killed him inside.
Why was this his pain?
He liked honey. It was golden and sparkled. Sweet and sticky. It was like Yesung. Sweet man that the other was. Giving up his time to look after him, who liked to stare out the window at the nameless faces and the rain that slide down the window pane, as if the sky was crying, the reason unknown. He who stared at foreign objects as if boring hole into them would somehow give them a place in his memory. But Yesung was always there, just like the endless supply of honey in the kitchen cabinet. And like honey, Yesung made everything better. But the bottle fell, one day, from Yesung’s hands. When he offered to help clean the sticky substance off the tiled floor, he was simply waved away but not before noticing the shaking in the older man’s shoulders.
Wasn’t everything alright?
He hated the snow. It was so inviting and alluring. A pure white like it held all the innocent dreams of children. But once you stepped in, it was only then that one would realized they had been fooled. The cold wrapping around you, catching you in its frosty grip. It was like faith. Spontaneous, unpredictable and unreliable. He had learned his lesson. He wouldn’t leave anything to faith anymore. Never again. For the moment he did, he lost the one thing the held his life together. His one true definition.
Something crumbled in him
He peeled his eyes open, bleach white walls staring back at him. A crown of raven black hair bowed down as the owner clasped his hands firmly together. He opened his mouth to say something, anything. To his dismay, out came a light wheeze, to which the head popped up, eyes glistening with unshed tears. Then he was hit by a tsunami of words. As bad as he felt for doing so, he cut off the other man, wanting a name to put to the face. It was rude, that much he knew, but it couldn’t be helped. He didn’t know who this person was, and he would feel better if he did. Still it did nothing to diminish his guilt as the other’s face fell. Then, the man spoke, hesitant at first, almost as if he was unsure of what to say. He identified himself as Yesung. Kim Yesung. His, Lee Sungmin’s, best friend.
He remembered
Dear Sungmin,
I know that probably, more than likely, that by the time you read this you would have probably lost your memories of me, of us. But I’m writing in hopes that I can give this to you before that happens. However, if not, then I hope you read this and it will help you remember some of the past. At the least, I would hope that you would remember your love for me and my love for you. I would hope because, Sungmin, my dear Sungmin, it tears me up knowing that you could wake up not knowing me and I just can’t bare that thought. I’d miss waking up snuggled next to you, those butterfly kisses, out nights out and out passion in the bathroom. So I leave you with this pink bunny. The one I gave to you when I first told you those three words all those years ago.
I think
I want
I just
I love you, Sungmin. Please don’t forget me. Don’t forget us.
Love,
Jongwoon
And he cried
_________________________
Why the hell do I keep torturing Sungie like this? ;________________;
God damn it, and Sungmin and and and go ahead bash me if you must (Please don’t be too mean D: )
I’ll just wibble over how I need to right moar Hyukmin friendship fics
Anyways, I can proudly say that this is my first fic in which I use zero dialogue and zero curse words :D I’m so happy! I’ve also come to face the fact that wow, my writing style really changed. I use to use a TON of dialogue. //happy dance
//bricked
I swear, if you don’t understand what I wrote (I admit it is in a slightly confusing format due to lack of names and clear separations >.> ) please ask. I will gladly clear it up for you. Not to mention I think writing something is rather pointless if no one understands it >.<
Also, just wanted to point out something cool 8D
See those italicized, bolded sentences? Read those one after another completely. Pretty cool right? IT’S LIKE AN EPIC LITTLE POEM 8DDDDDDDDD Plus it can easily be interpreted as talking about one man or about two (Happy or sad :) )
Now if you saw my epic wibbling post >.> <.< Then you will know that I have lost everything I typed up for my Teukmin Coffee Kisses Verse story D: Stupid computer >< It’s why I write everything down first normally. Anyways, I might have that out in a week or two and if not, I will probably have a Henry story ready.
Back in America, working hard on losing some more weight before I go back to school (already lost 5lbs while traveling), so I’ll be waiting to get new clothes and stuff and what not (I swear when I get new clothes I am getting sneakers and a leather vest/jacket and a gold dress and dressing like Park Bom in the Don’t Stop the Music MV SHE’S SO PRETTY AND I LOVE HER DRESS STYLE Cuz she can wear skirts/shorts so short but make them look so classy that your brain overrides the fact that they would be hooker shorts on most other people xD) Ignore me >_________>
I might post nail design pics or make up pics just cuz or maybe some from my vacation so I can brain wash you all into wanting to go there to see the pretty scenery cause I’m like that xD Might also be making a new twitter & tumblr (both which I left over a year ago o.O )
COMMENTS MAKE ME SUGAR HIGH <3
Plus I wanna talk to people on LJ :3
BYE :D
Author: timmii_luvs
Pairing: Yesung/Sungmin
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: He hates the snow because it’s deceiving, just like faith
_____________________
He stared down the tattered pink bunny plushie. He didn’t recognize it. It was old, color faded to a light cotton candy pink with clear stitching from whenever someone had patched it up. Setting it aside, the man moved onto the next item. A letter. Worn, messy and crinkling in spots that had been hit by tears of sorrow. His eyes skimmed it gently, absorbing the words. He didn’t know who was the man who wrote I, only that it was addressed to him, the handwriting shaky.
But he felt nothing
The words he spoke were rough, strained. The name he called in turn, harsh, forced, almost dead. How much longer would he suffer through this? Why would God be such a cruel entity? They never did anything wrong. Simply lived their lives out, plain, repetitive, but rewarding and much loved. But now he prayed ever night by his bedside. He spilt tears of sorrow. Found himself wandering to his bedroom by himself, hoping, wishing, desperately pleading, for the whole thing to be a nightmare. Instead, he would wake, cold, and alone.
And he grew numb
These people who claimed to be his friends would stop by, day after day, leaving their condolences. But why? He didn’t understand. What was there to be sad or sorry about? And when he turned his head to Yesung, the man simply smiled softly, his eyes glazed with a mixture of emotions that he couldn’t place, but none the less disliked. So he would wrap his arms around the one person who was there with him since the beginning, a constant in his life, and offered what little comfort he could. Because he didn’t understand, and without the knowledge of knowing, he was unable to do much more.
What was wrong?
The arms around him couldn’t feel any more familiar. It was warm, comforting and it shattered the already cracked pieces of his heart. He never thought a hug, smile, glance, could hurt as much as it did now. So innocent, so pure, so devoid of memories he held dear. But he couldn’t cry, never. The other man didn’t know and that would be how it stared. The information locked away. Shrouded by a mask and shielded by the rain that soaked up his pain. He would keep this secret no matter how much it killed him inside.
Why was this his pain?
He liked honey. It was golden and sparkled. Sweet and sticky. It was like Yesung. Sweet man that the other was. Giving up his time to look after him, who liked to stare out the window at the nameless faces and the rain that slide down the window pane, as if the sky was crying, the reason unknown. He who stared at foreign objects as if boring hole into them would somehow give them a place in his memory. But Yesung was always there, just like the endless supply of honey in the kitchen cabinet. And like honey, Yesung made everything better. But the bottle fell, one day, from Yesung’s hands. When he offered to help clean the sticky substance off the tiled floor, he was simply waved away but not before noticing the shaking in the older man’s shoulders.
Wasn’t everything alright?
He hated the snow. It was so inviting and alluring. A pure white like it held all the innocent dreams of children. But once you stepped in, it was only then that one would realized they had been fooled. The cold wrapping around you, catching you in its frosty grip. It was like faith. Spontaneous, unpredictable and unreliable. He had learned his lesson. He wouldn’t leave anything to faith anymore. Never again. For the moment he did, he lost the one thing the held his life together. His one true definition.
Something crumbled in him
He peeled his eyes open, bleach white walls staring back at him. A crown of raven black hair bowed down as the owner clasped his hands firmly together. He opened his mouth to say something, anything. To his dismay, out came a light wheeze, to which the head popped up, eyes glistening with unshed tears. Then he was hit by a tsunami of words. As bad as he felt for doing so, he cut off the other man, wanting a name to put to the face. It was rude, that much he knew, but it couldn’t be helped. He didn’t know who this person was, and he would feel better if he did. Still it did nothing to diminish his guilt as the other’s face fell. Then, the man spoke, hesitant at first, almost as if he was unsure of what to say. He identified himself as Yesung. Kim Yesung. His, Lee Sungmin’s, best friend.
He remembered
Dear Sungmin,
I know that probably, more than likely, that by the time you read this you would have probably lost your memories of me, of us. But I’m writing in hopes that I can give this to you before that happens. However, if not, then I hope you read this and it will help you remember some of the past. At the least, I would hope that you would remember your love for me and my love for you. I would hope because, Sungmin, my dear Sungmin, it tears me up knowing that you could wake up not knowing me and I just can’t bare that thought. I’d miss waking up snuggled next to you, those butterfly kisses, out nights out and out passion in the bathroom. So I leave you with this pink bunny. The one I gave to you when I first told you those three words all those years ago.
I think
I want
I just
I love you, Sungmin. Please don’t forget me. Don’t forget us.
Love,
Jongwoon
And he cried
_________________________
Why the hell do I keep torturing Sungie like this? ;________________;
God damn it, and Sungmin and and and go ahead bash me if you must (Please don’t be too mean D: )
I’ll just wibble over how I need to right moar Hyukmin friendship fics
Anyways, I can proudly say that this is my first fic in which I use zero dialogue and zero curse words :D I’m so happy! I’ve also come to face the fact that wow, my writing style really changed. I use to use a TON of dialogue. //happy dance
//bricked
I swear, if you don’t understand what I wrote (I admit it is in a slightly confusing format due to lack of names and clear separations >.> ) please ask. I will gladly clear it up for you. Not to mention I think writing something is rather pointless if no one understands it >.<
Also, just wanted to point out something cool 8D
See those italicized, bolded sentences? Read those one after another completely. Pretty cool right? IT’S LIKE AN EPIC LITTLE POEM 8DDDDDDDDD Plus it can easily be interpreted as talking about one man or about two (Happy or sad :) )
Now if you saw my epic wibbling post >.> <.< Then you will know that I have lost everything I typed up for my Teukmin Coffee Kisses Verse story D: Stupid computer >< It’s why I write everything down first normally. Anyways, I might have that out in a week or two and if not, I will probably have a Henry story ready.
Back in America, working hard on losing some more weight before I go back to school (already lost 5lbs while traveling), so I’ll be waiting to get new clothes and stuff and what not (I swear when I get new clothes I am getting sneakers and a leather vest/jacket and a gold dress and dressing like Park Bom in the Don’t Stop the Music MV SHE’S SO PRETTY AND I LOVE HER DRESS STYLE Cuz she can wear skirts/shorts so short but make them look so classy that your brain overrides the fact that they would be hooker shorts on most other people xD) Ignore me >_________>
I might post nail design pics or make up pics just cuz or maybe some from my vacation so I can brain wash you all into wanting to go there to see the pretty scenery cause I’m like that xD Might also be making a new twitter & tumblr (both which I left over a year ago o.O )
COMMENTS MAKE ME SUGAR HIGH <3
Plus I wanna talk to people on LJ :3
BYE :D