hoe hoe hoe
the sound of horrible xmas musak fills the air here at work. it is meant to mask the thick film of anxiety and apprehention that coats the air here. the shitty music with its fake strings and horn sections doesnt really help though; it serves more as a catalyst to fuel the fire of backstabbing and pretentiousness. everyone knows layoffs are coming, either soon or at the new year. even more specifically; 2 of the 6 engineers are going to be laid off...which gives me a 1 in 3 chance. being the only one without a dawson creek haircut and wife and child isnt exactly stacking the odds in my favor. who knows, maybe it would be a blessing in disguise to get laid off anyways. its hard motivating to work hard when the same smiling asshole paying me now and wishing me a happy holiday is going to possibly in a few days be walking me out of the building for the last time. maybe after 6 years its time for a change anyways. change seems to be the one constant in life anyways; perhaps its best to embrace it rather than constantly fear it.