(no subject)
again i found myself sitting on a stool blankly staring across the rows of production benches. its early morning on a monday, this finds most of the technicians in their morning production meeting, my boss and the elder engineers have their own 2 hour morning meeting...which leaves me again blankly staring across an empty room. the crumbling faded white ceiling tiles in the room provide little relief from the yellowish flourescent lights that litter the lab with a waterlogged amber glow that makes me want to close my eyes more than open them. the purring of the air filters in the room along with the AC vents pouring chilling air into the lab create the kind of background hum that filters out any sounds or voices from outside the thick lab doors. im breathing, but i cant hear myself breath because of the twenty or so computers running on various benches in the room...its the perfect place that i could just fall right asleep...if i had a blanket to escape the obnoxiously cold air that keeps cascading into room from the relentless AC vents. as i feel the chillbumps on my arms stand to attention from the AC i push the stool and slide across the floor so im not underneath the vent anymore. i have a million things i could be worried about today...things that need to be done,bought,fixed,sold,watered,etc...but i really have come to the realization that i worry about far too many things. so today i enjoyed my moments alone with our machines...and didnt stress or think about anything pressing, but how good it feels to be alone sometimes...closing my eyes and trying to feel every goose bump as it comes alive,the familiar lifeless hum of the machines that are like sirens trying to tempt me into sleep.......but then of course, the sharp percussive crack as the door is thrown open, followed by the whining scream of the spring slowly closing the door back as the others filter back in...and the moment is gone.