(no subject)
I'm half-way wondering why I'm writing this because, really, hardly anyone is going to read it anyway. And yet I'm writing it anyway.
I want this summer to be good. I want it to be the summer I've tried to make the last three summers be. Maybe it will be, but it probably won't be. That sounds depressing, but it's really not. I'm trying desperately not to rely too heavily on things- people, expectations, etc. I'm trying not to expect things to avoid disappointment. It's kind of a negative way of looking at things, but at least it prevents me from getting my hopes or anything else crushed.
Actually, even though this summer might not live up to any sort of previous expectations, hopefully it'll actually be pretty good. I have this absolutely amazing summer job. The boys I'm nannying for are 11, 12, and 13, and they are such sweethearts. It's amazing. Basically I'm getting paid $10 an hour for reading and such. What a job!!!
My graduation party is next weekend. It'll be much smaller than mostly every other party I've been to so far (since I really do not have that many friends), but I'm looking forward to it all the same. Hopefully it'll be fun.
I'm tired of drama. None of it has to do directly with me, but somehow I'm semi-involved all the same. I really don't want to have anything to do with any of it.
I'm concerned for Amy. She totally hates me right now because, as she said, she can't trust me. But, my parents and I can't trust her. Everywhere she turns she's lying. It scares me. I wish that I could get her to tell me things, but, the truth is, I don't think she can trust me. I probably would tell my parents what she confided in me, in an attempt to protect her. I don't know what she is going to do next year. I don't even know what to do right now.
I'm excited and terrified for the fall. But I'm trying really hard not to think too much about that right now and just enjoy the summer. . .
I want this summer to be good. I want it to be the summer I've tried to make the last three summers be. Maybe it will be, but it probably won't be. That sounds depressing, but it's really not. I'm trying desperately not to rely too heavily on things- people, expectations, etc. I'm trying not to expect things to avoid disappointment. It's kind of a negative way of looking at things, but at least it prevents me from getting my hopes or anything else crushed.
Actually, even though this summer might not live up to any sort of previous expectations, hopefully it'll actually be pretty good. I have this absolutely amazing summer job. The boys I'm nannying for are 11, 12, and 13, and they are such sweethearts. It's amazing. Basically I'm getting paid $10 an hour for reading and such. What a job!!!
My graduation party is next weekend. It'll be much smaller than mostly every other party I've been to so far (since I really do not have that many friends), but I'm looking forward to it all the same. Hopefully it'll be fun.
I'm tired of drama. None of it has to do directly with me, but somehow I'm semi-involved all the same. I really don't want to have anything to do with any of it.
I'm concerned for Amy. She totally hates me right now because, as she said, she can't trust me. But, my parents and I can't trust her. Everywhere she turns she's lying. It scares me. I wish that I could get her to tell me things, but, the truth is, I don't think she can trust me. I probably would tell my parents what she confided in me, in an attempt to protect her. I don't know what she is going to do next year. I don't even know what to do right now.
I'm excited and terrified for the fall. But I'm trying really hard not to think too much about that right now and just enjoy the summer. . .