fic: my waistcoat, my rules
title: My Waistcoat, My Rules
characters: Jack/Ianto
words: 2698
rating: PG
note: this is a late birthday gift for you, Paula pamoreno :3 Post-'From Out Of The Rain'; spoilers for that episode. Ianto feels guilty about the deaths of the victims of the Night Travellers. Jack comforts him. Contains a bucketload of banter.
My Waistcoat, My Rules
It was common knowledge Jack was a man young at heart, but perhaps bringing Ianto to a children's park one quiet afternoon (in terms of rift activity) had not been one of his best ideas to spend their time off. At least, judging from the unimpressed look on Ianto's face, he gave the impression he would rather be back in the Brecon Beacons, cannibal country, than be in a grubby park in Butetown.
"Oh yeah, loving that playgroundy feel," Jack said, striding across the park as if he owned it, greatcoat billowing out behind him. Gliding his finger down a slide, he admitted, "I always get excited in these places." Was it just Ianto, or had he heard this very speech before? "To me they're exotic." Yes, Ianto had heard this speech before... "Teenage romances, stealing kisses on the swings--"
"You're far too overexcited," Ianto warned him. "Cut it out, kids about."
He put his hands on his hips and surveyed their surroundings. He'd never seen a sorrier sight. The park looked like it had been around for centuries. Almost every inch of playground equipment was covered in graffiti, but it was nothing a quick paint job couldn't fix. He shook his head and tutted at the amount of rubbish littering the ground. If you added a couple of strewn empty pizza boxes here and there, the park resembled the Hub before Ianto joined Torchwood Three. When it came to tidying up after oneself, his colleagues - Owen in particular - had a lot in common with children.
Ianto wondered if they were actually working after all, and Jack had tricked him into something involving large amounts of extraterrestrial gunge - it wouldn't be the first time. Fool Ianto once, shame on Jack; fool Ianto twice, shame on Ianto; fool Ianto three times, be prepared to be served instant coffee for a week. Had Jack brought Ianto here to help him capture a messy and possibly self-destructive alien? Was one of the little terrors running across the park an alien in disguise? He hoped it was that chubby hooligan in orange who hit him with a rugby ball earlier; he'd have no trouble pointing a gun at him for dirtying his suit.
"Jack," Ianto started, examining the bottom of his shoe and scowling at chewing gum stuck to the outsole. When he looked up, Jack was gone from his side. "Jack?"
A throat cleared behind him. He spun around and bit back a laugh: Captain Jack Harkness was sat on a swing, doing a poor job of fitting in. He was posing in the same heroic manner he would stood on a rooftop. Luckily the swingset was meant for older children; Ianto would have collapsed with laughter watching Jack try to climb into a tiny swing with leg holes made especially for toddlers. Ianto supposed it could have been worse; Jack could have picked the roundabout.
Ianto's eyes had already met Jack's, but Ianto pretended he hadn't seen him.
"Excuse me, have you seen an American with no sense of timing or fashion?" he asked a child who blinked up at him wonderingly. An annoyed huff floated over from the swings.
"I heard that!"
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Ianto answered back, "You were meant to," as the little girl he'd bothered skipped off without answering his question. Ianto would have found this rude, if the child hadn't been two years old with the attention span of a gnat. He slipped his hands into his trouser pockets and strolled over to Jack.
"I know you can pass off as someone in their late twenties," Ianto said, stopping at the Captain's feet, "but it'll be impossible to blend in with these youngsters."
Jack leaned back - as much as you can on a swing without falling back on your arse - and crossed his arms. "You sound awfully crabby for someone who had mind-blowing sex last night. What happened to your post-sex afterglow?"
"It... passed." Ianto's stomach rumbled, reminding him he'd been brought here under false pretenses. "I thought you were taking me out to lunch?"
"Later, I promise."
Ianto found that wicked gleam in Jack's eyes very suspicious indeed.
"If you think I'm going to have sex with you in a park in broad daylight, think again," Ianto disappointed him. Jack shrugged as though the thought had never crossed his mind, but Ianto had definitely noticed Jack's shoulders sag.
"Sit down, that's an order."
Ianto spied the empty swing next to Jack. He supposed his feet could do with a rest...
"I meant on my lap," Jack said the instant Ianto's bottom connected with the rubber seat, and Ianto shook his head in amusement.
He imagined he looked quite foolish sitting on a swing in his three-piece suit. Then again, Jack probably looked more ridiculous wearing his military coat, but he acted nothing more than glorious. As the older man stared at something fixedly in the distance, Ianto rested his cheek against the cool metal chain holding him up off the ground and studied his boss out of the corner of his eye. Ianto knew people who loathed their job, but they probably didn't have a boss who was so easy on the eyes. Sometimes Ianto wondered why the hell Jack stuck around in Cardiff when he had a face and charisma that fitted perfectly in Hollywood. Sometimes he looked like the kind of man whose feet belonged on red carpet. Instead, he was treading on grimy pavements in Wales.
Suddenly Jack turned his head and caught Ianto watching him.
"Like what you see?" the Captain asked cheekily. Ianto turned pink, but he kept his cool.
"Your 51st century pheromones are suffocating me. Can't you switch them off for a bit?"
"There is no off button."
"Of course," Ianto nodded to himself. "That makes sense. You're always turned on because you're missing an off button." He smirked. "Even still, perhaps you should invest in one." He realized he was talking to himself; Jack's attention was elsewhere, on a section of the park where a small group of boys were hanging about by the monkey bars. Ianto frowned and brought out his stopwatch.
"You're going to tell me exactly what we're doing here in the next five seconds or I'm going to go ahead and assume you've quit Torchwood and decided to pursue child abduction." Ianto clicked the button on the top. "Go." The ticking started.
"Ianto, do me a favour and take a good look at that kid over there for me."
One click of the stopwatch later, Ianto was on the verge of being sick. "Oh god," he said under his breath. "My boss is picking out children to kidnap."
Jack laughed at such an accusation. "You are thoroughly mistaken. Kidnapping is not on the agenda today."
Ianto scoffed and stood up, intending to go back to the SUV. But Jack had jumped to his feet, grabbed Ianto by the shoulders and pushed him back down onto the swing. "Not so fast, cariad," Jack whispered in Ianto's ear. The Welshman regarded him suspiciously.
"Who taught you that word?" Gwen, Ianto presumed. "I like it when you speak Welsh," he added unthinkingly.
"Really?"
"Yeah." Ianto nodded, elaborating, "If only because you sound utterly ludicrous."
"Oh, thanks a bunch." Jack pointed over at the boys by the monkey bars. "Recognize that kid - the one at the back picking his nose?"
"Another love child of yours?" Ianto remarked, but then he looked properly at the boy Jack had indicated to and fell silent. Of course he recognized the boy with his big dark eyes and long eyelashes. When Ianto closed his eyes he remembered the nurse holding his small blonde head in hospital as Jack cradled him in his lap, opened a silver flask, and gave the boy back his last breath. Ianto had never been so happy to hear a child cough his lungs out as he sprung back to life in Jack's arms. That moment had brought actual tears to his eyes.
"It's that boy you saved," Ianto spoke up throatily. Tom, he recalled his name.
"You saved," Jack corrected him.
Ianto looked up over his shoulder at Jack. "You were the hero."
"You were the hero."
"No, you were the hero--" A sigh left Ianto's mouth. "Agree to disagree?"
"Good plan."
Ianto grasped the swings' chains either side of him and watched Tom laughing with his friends. The sight of him looking so happy brought a smile to Ianto's lips. Then Ianto remembered Tom had lost his family - his sister and his parents, all because of the Night Travellers. Jack sensed a feeling of grief wash over Ianto and started kneading the muscles in his shoulders to relieve the tension. It worked like a charm.
"Mmmm," hummed Ianto agreeably as Jack got rid of the knots. "What..." It was difficult to speak intelligibly with Jack distracting him by means of his warm hands. "What happened to the boy after he got out of hospital?"
"This nice couple, Sarah and Linda, adopted him." Jack grinned when Ianto's brow rose in surprise. "Yeah, two mothers, which would make him the man of the house."
Ianto brightened after learning Tom's future was a bright, secure one. He'd feared the Night Travellers had destroyed Tom's life, but Jack's words had assured Ianto a new life had been rebuilt for him. For a moment, Jack stopped rubbing Ianto's shoulders and spoke in soft tones.
"I've been worried about you," he confessed. Ianto's brow wrinkled as he wondered what he'd done recently to have merited Jack's concern. "The incident with The Night Travellers affected you more than the others." Ianto flinched when Jack brought up the travelling show performers; Jack knew he'd stricken a chord. "Ianto, I hate seeing you beat yourself up about those victims." Ianto opened his mouth to argue, but Jack cut him off, "Don't you go denying it. It's obvious you've been blaming yourself for their deaths."
Ianto swallowed down the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. "If I told you, you were right, would that make me a bad person?"
"Far from it." Jack walked around the swing and faced Ianto, whose gaze was glued determinedly to the ground. "Hey, look at me." The younger man didn't respond. "Ianto, look at me." He tilted Ianto's chin upwards, and finally he met Jack's sky blue eyes. "It wasn't your fault."
"But--"
"No buts." Jack fought back a laugh. "Huh, never thought I'd say that."
"A butt joke," Ianto commented dryly. "Classy."
Jack pretended to glare at him, but the angry stare didn't last for long. "Repeat after me: it wasn't my fault."
Ianto looked as though he'd rather hang himself from the monkey bars than follow Jack's orders. "Is this really necessary?" he mumbled, because last time he checked parroting Jack like he was the teacher and Ianto was the student wasn't in his job description.
"Sorry, it is." Jack tapped his foot. "I'm waiting."
Ianto sighed and put his hands in his lap. Truthfully, he didn't think he could muster the words Jack wanted him to repeat, but when he peered into Jack's ageless face, he somehow found the strength to. "It wasn't my fault," he said, surprised by how much he sounded like he truly believed the words that left his mouth.
"And again: I am not to blame," Jack spoke clearly, and waited.
"I am not to blame," Ianto repeated obediently.
"I will have sex in this park with my stunningly handsome boss."
Ianto snorted. "Nice try."
Jack grabbed the swing's chains and leaned down for a kiss. Ianto was very shy all of a sudden. Perhaps it was because they had an audience: a park full of children.
"What are you doing?" asked Ianto, dodging Jack's mouth every time he got close.
"There's this thing - kissing - where you engage in mutual touching or caressing with the lips with another. But yours seem to be avoiding mine like the plague right now."
"You've lived so long I wouldn't be surprised if you had the plague at one point." He yelped when he was seized by his tie and yanked to his feet. "Jack," he whined as the Captain snaked his arms around his waist. "Kids are staring..."
Jack got nose to nose with him. "Men's eyes were made to look, and let them gaze," he replied in his best Shakespearean voice.
Ianto blinked at Jack, soaking in his words with an impressed smile. "Charming bastard," he muttered, bringing Jack's mouth to his. He let Jack's hands roam down his chest, but when they reached for his trouser belt, Ianto slapped them away and they pulled apart. Jack growled low in his throat.
"Didn't you get enough last night?" Ianto asked, trying and failing to keep Jack at arm's length.
"Not nearly enough," Jack answered saucily.
No longer did Ianto have the energy to play hard to get, allowing Jack to pull Ianto flush against his chest. Ianto's arms circled Jack's neck comfortably as they kissed like a pair of hungry teenagers, but it was a wolf whistle from an actual group of teenagers on bicycles aimed their way that brought Ianto back to reality. Gently, he shoved Jack away, wiping the corner of his mouth.
"Feed me, then we'll talk," Ianto said, smoothing out the wrinkles in his suit. Upon examination, at least two buttons of his waistcoat had been undone. Ianto sent Jack a scolding look.
"Hey, don't undo my handiwork!" Jack complained as Ianto manoeuvred the buttons back through their holes.
"My waistcoat, my rules," Ianto answered simply, sliding his hands back into his trousers pockets when he was done.
"You know," Jack said, looking out at the park as though it was his kingdom, "I've got a feeling Tom will be quite the looker when he's older. Maybe I'll give him a call in twenty years..."
Ianto pretended to look scandalized. "You've got some nerve! You're walking back to the Hub," he decided, spinning on his heel and striding back to the SUV.
Jack barked a laugh in response; Ianto couldn't exactly ditch him when Jack had the car keys...
At least, he thought he did - that was until he heard the jingle of metal in the distance. He checked his pockets and discovered they were empty. That sneaky Welshman had stolen the keys!
"Ianto?" Jack heard a car door slam and sprinted towards the SUV. "Ianto!"
The engine revved, and it was too late. The car was in motion, but Jack didn't look the slightest bit worried about being abandoned. He stood at the side of the road, watching the large, black Range Rover wheel away from him, and counted down, "Five... four... three... two... one." Then, he stuck out his thumb like a hitchhiker would.
When Jack finished counting, the SUV suddenly went into reverse - and judging by the expression on Jack's face, he predicted this would happen. The car kept moving backwards until it was parked perfectly in front of Jack. When he tried the passenger door it was locked, so he tapped the tinted window. He kept his thumb stuck out as the window rolled down electronically.
"Don't suppose I could catch a ride with you, tall, dark, handsome stranger?" Jack winked at the man sat in the driver's seat.
"I'm not sure my boss would approve." Ianto was staring through the windscreen, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. "Picking up hitchhikers is dangerous and all."
"I'm sure he'd make an exception for cute ones."
The corners of Ianto's mouth tugged upwards. "Where are you headed, sir?"
Jack listed the address of Ianto's apartment with a brilliant smile. Ianto rolled his eyes, leaned over the passenger's seat and opened the door for Jack.
"Get in before I drive through you."
characters: Jack/Ianto
words: 2698
rating: PG
note: this is a late birthday gift for you, Paula pamoreno :3 Post-'From Out Of The Rain'; spoilers for that episode. Ianto feels guilty about the deaths of the victims of the Night Travellers. Jack comforts him. Contains a bucketload of banter.
My Waistcoat, My Rules
It was common knowledge Jack was a man young at heart, but perhaps bringing Ianto to a children's park one quiet afternoon (in terms of rift activity) had not been one of his best ideas to spend their time off. At least, judging from the unimpressed look on Ianto's face, he gave the impression he would rather be back in the Brecon Beacons, cannibal country, than be in a grubby park in Butetown.
"Oh yeah, loving that playgroundy feel," Jack said, striding across the park as if he owned it, greatcoat billowing out behind him. Gliding his finger down a slide, he admitted, "I always get excited in these places." Was it just Ianto, or had he heard this very speech before? "To me they're exotic." Yes, Ianto had heard this speech before... "Teenage romances, stealing kisses on the swings--"
"You're far too overexcited," Ianto warned him. "Cut it out, kids about."
He put his hands on his hips and surveyed their surroundings. He'd never seen a sorrier sight. The park looked like it had been around for centuries. Almost every inch of playground equipment was covered in graffiti, but it was nothing a quick paint job couldn't fix. He shook his head and tutted at the amount of rubbish littering the ground. If you added a couple of strewn empty pizza boxes here and there, the park resembled the Hub before Ianto joined Torchwood Three. When it came to tidying up after oneself, his colleagues - Owen in particular - had a lot in common with children.
Ianto wondered if they were actually working after all, and Jack had tricked him into something involving large amounts of extraterrestrial gunge - it wouldn't be the first time. Fool Ianto once, shame on Jack; fool Ianto twice, shame on Ianto; fool Ianto three times, be prepared to be served instant coffee for a week. Had Jack brought Ianto here to help him capture a messy and possibly self-destructive alien? Was one of the little terrors running across the park an alien in disguise? He hoped it was that chubby hooligan in orange who hit him with a rugby ball earlier; he'd have no trouble pointing a gun at him for dirtying his suit.
"Jack," Ianto started, examining the bottom of his shoe and scowling at chewing gum stuck to the outsole. When he looked up, Jack was gone from his side. "Jack?"
A throat cleared behind him. He spun around and bit back a laugh: Captain Jack Harkness was sat on a swing, doing a poor job of fitting in. He was posing in the same heroic manner he would stood on a rooftop. Luckily the swingset was meant for older children; Ianto would have collapsed with laughter watching Jack try to climb into a tiny swing with leg holes made especially for toddlers. Ianto supposed it could have been worse; Jack could have picked the roundabout.
Ianto's eyes had already met Jack's, but Ianto pretended he hadn't seen him.
"Excuse me, have you seen an American with no sense of timing or fashion?" he asked a child who blinked up at him wonderingly. An annoyed huff floated over from the swings.
"I heard that!"
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Ianto answered back, "You were meant to," as the little girl he'd bothered skipped off without answering his question. Ianto would have found this rude, if the child hadn't been two years old with the attention span of a gnat. He slipped his hands into his trouser pockets and strolled over to Jack.
"I know you can pass off as someone in their late twenties," Ianto said, stopping at the Captain's feet, "but it'll be impossible to blend in with these youngsters."
Jack leaned back - as much as you can on a swing without falling back on your arse - and crossed his arms. "You sound awfully crabby for someone who had mind-blowing sex last night. What happened to your post-sex afterglow?"
"It... passed." Ianto's stomach rumbled, reminding him he'd been brought here under false pretenses. "I thought you were taking me out to lunch?"
"Later, I promise."
Ianto found that wicked gleam in Jack's eyes very suspicious indeed.
"If you think I'm going to have sex with you in a park in broad daylight, think again," Ianto disappointed him. Jack shrugged as though the thought had never crossed his mind, but Ianto had definitely noticed Jack's shoulders sag.
"Sit down, that's an order."
Ianto spied the empty swing next to Jack. He supposed his feet could do with a rest...
"I meant on my lap," Jack said the instant Ianto's bottom connected with the rubber seat, and Ianto shook his head in amusement.
He imagined he looked quite foolish sitting on a swing in his three-piece suit. Then again, Jack probably looked more ridiculous wearing his military coat, but he acted nothing more than glorious. As the older man stared at something fixedly in the distance, Ianto rested his cheek against the cool metal chain holding him up off the ground and studied his boss out of the corner of his eye. Ianto knew people who loathed their job, but they probably didn't have a boss who was so easy on the eyes. Sometimes Ianto wondered why the hell Jack stuck around in Cardiff when he had a face and charisma that fitted perfectly in Hollywood. Sometimes he looked like the kind of man whose feet belonged on red carpet. Instead, he was treading on grimy pavements in Wales.
Suddenly Jack turned his head and caught Ianto watching him.
"Like what you see?" the Captain asked cheekily. Ianto turned pink, but he kept his cool.
"Your 51st century pheromones are suffocating me. Can't you switch them off for a bit?"
"There is no off button."
"Of course," Ianto nodded to himself. "That makes sense. You're always turned on because you're missing an off button." He smirked. "Even still, perhaps you should invest in one." He realized he was talking to himself; Jack's attention was elsewhere, on a section of the park where a small group of boys were hanging about by the monkey bars. Ianto frowned and brought out his stopwatch.
"You're going to tell me exactly what we're doing here in the next five seconds or I'm going to go ahead and assume you've quit Torchwood and decided to pursue child abduction." Ianto clicked the button on the top. "Go." The ticking started.
"Ianto, do me a favour and take a good look at that kid over there for me."
One click of the stopwatch later, Ianto was on the verge of being sick. "Oh god," he said under his breath. "My boss is picking out children to kidnap."
Jack laughed at such an accusation. "You are thoroughly mistaken. Kidnapping is not on the agenda today."
Ianto scoffed and stood up, intending to go back to the SUV. But Jack had jumped to his feet, grabbed Ianto by the shoulders and pushed him back down onto the swing. "Not so fast, cariad," Jack whispered in Ianto's ear. The Welshman regarded him suspiciously.
"Who taught you that word?" Gwen, Ianto presumed. "I like it when you speak Welsh," he added unthinkingly.
"Really?"
"Yeah." Ianto nodded, elaborating, "If only because you sound utterly ludicrous."
"Oh, thanks a bunch." Jack pointed over at the boys by the monkey bars. "Recognize that kid - the one at the back picking his nose?"
"Another love child of yours?" Ianto remarked, but then he looked properly at the boy Jack had indicated to and fell silent. Of course he recognized the boy with his big dark eyes and long eyelashes. When Ianto closed his eyes he remembered the nurse holding his small blonde head in hospital as Jack cradled him in his lap, opened a silver flask, and gave the boy back his last breath. Ianto had never been so happy to hear a child cough his lungs out as he sprung back to life in Jack's arms. That moment had brought actual tears to his eyes.
"It's that boy you saved," Ianto spoke up throatily. Tom, he recalled his name.
"You saved," Jack corrected him.
Ianto looked up over his shoulder at Jack. "You were the hero."
"You were the hero."
"No, you were the hero--" A sigh left Ianto's mouth. "Agree to disagree?"
"Good plan."
Ianto grasped the swings' chains either side of him and watched Tom laughing with his friends. The sight of him looking so happy brought a smile to Ianto's lips. Then Ianto remembered Tom had lost his family - his sister and his parents, all because of the Night Travellers. Jack sensed a feeling of grief wash over Ianto and started kneading the muscles in his shoulders to relieve the tension. It worked like a charm.
"Mmmm," hummed Ianto agreeably as Jack got rid of the knots. "What..." It was difficult to speak intelligibly with Jack distracting him by means of his warm hands. "What happened to the boy after he got out of hospital?"
"This nice couple, Sarah and Linda, adopted him." Jack grinned when Ianto's brow rose in surprise. "Yeah, two mothers, which would make him the man of the house."
Ianto brightened after learning Tom's future was a bright, secure one. He'd feared the Night Travellers had destroyed Tom's life, but Jack's words had assured Ianto a new life had been rebuilt for him. For a moment, Jack stopped rubbing Ianto's shoulders and spoke in soft tones.
"I've been worried about you," he confessed. Ianto's brow wrinkled as he wondered what he'd done recently to have merited Jack's concern. "The incident with The Night Travellers affected you more than the others." Ianto flinched when Jack brought up the travelling show performers; Jack knew he'd stricken a chord. "Ianto, I hate seeing you beat yourself up about those victims." Ianto opened his mouth to argue, but Jack cut him off, "Don't you go denying it. It's obvious you've been blaming yourself for their deaths."
Ianto swallowed down the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. "If I told you, you were right, would that make me a bad person?"
"Far from it." Jack walked around the swing and faced Ianto, whose gaze was glued determinedly to the ground. "Hey, look at me." The younger man didn't respond. "Ianto, look at me." He tilted Ianto's chin upwards, and finally he met Jack's sky blue eyes. "It wasn't your fault."
"But--"
"No buts." Jack fought back a laugh. "Huh, never thought I'd say that."
"A butt joke," Ianto commented dryly. "Classy."
Jack pretended to glare at him, but the angry stare didn't last for long. "Repeat after me: it wasn't my fault."
Ianto looked as though he'd rather hang himself from the monkey bars than follow Jack's orders. "Is this really necessary?" he mumbled, because last time he checked parroting Jack like he was the teacher and Ianto was the student wasn't in his job description.
"Sorry, it is." Jack tapped his foot. "I'm waiting."
Ianto sighed and put his hands in his lap. Truthfully, he didn't think he could muster the words Jack wanted him to repeat, but when he peered into Jack's ageless face, he somehow found the strength to. "It wasn't my fault," he said, surprised by how much he sounded like he truly believed the words that left his mouth.
"And again: I am not to blame," Jack spoke clearly, and waited.
"I am not to blame," Ianto repeated obediently.
"I will have sex in this park with my stunningly handsome boss."
Ianto snorted. "Nice try."
Jack grabbed the swing's chains and leaned down for a kiss. Ianto was very shy all of a sudden. Perhaps it was because they had an audience: a park full of children.
"What are you doing?" asked Ianto, dodging Jack's mouth every time he got close.
"There's this thing - kissing - where you engage in mutual touching or caressing with the lips with another. But yours seem to be avoiding mine like the plague right now."
"You've lived so long I wouldn't be surprised if you had the plague at one point." He yelped when he was seized by his tie and yanked to his feet. "Jack," he whined as the Captain snaked his arms around his waist. "Kids are staring..."
Jack got nose to nose with him. "Men's eyes were made to look, and let them gaze," he replied in his best Shakespearean voice.
Ianto blinked at Jack, soaking in his words with an impressed smile. "Charming bastard," he muttered, bringing Jack's mouth to his. He let Jack's hands roam down his chest, but when they reached for his trouser belt, Ianto slapped them away and they pulled apart. Jack growled low in his throat.
"Didn't you get enough last night?" Ianto asked, trying and failing to keep Jack at arm's length.
"Not nearly enough," Jack answered saucily.
No longer did Ianto have the energy to play hard to get, allowing Jack to pull Ianto flush against his chest. Ianto's arms circled Jack's neck comfortably as they kissed like a pair of hungry teenagers, but it was a wolf whistle from an actual group of teenagers on bicycles aimed their way that brought Ianto back to reality. Gently, he shoved Jack away, wiping the corner of his mouth.
"Feed me, then we'll talk," Ianto said, smoothing out the wrinkles in his suit. Upon examination, at least two buttons of his waistcoat had been undone. Ianto sent Jack a scolding look.
"Hey, don't undo my handiwork!" Jack complained as Ianto manoeuvred the buttons back through their holes.
"My waistcoat, my rules," Ianto answered simply, sliding his hands back into his trousers pockets when he was done.
"You know," Jack said, looking out at the park as though it was his kingdom, "I've got a feeling Tom will be quite the looker when he's older. Maybe I'll give him a call in twenty years..."
Ianto pretended to look scandalized. "You've got some nerve! You're walking back to the Hub," he decided, spinning on his heel and striding back to the SUV.
Jack barked a laugh in response; Ianto couldn't exactly ditch him when Jack had the car keys...
At least, he thought he did - that was until he heard the jingle of metal in the distance. He checked his pockets and discovered they were empty. That sneaky Welshman had stolen the keys!
"Ianto?" Jack heard a car door slam and sprinted towards the SUV. "Ianto!"
The engine revved, and it was too late. The car was in motion, but Jack didn't look the slightest bit worried about being abandoned. He stood at the side of the road, watching the large, black Range Rover wheel away from him, and counted down, "Five... four... three... two... one." Then, he stuck out his thumb like a hitchhiker would.
When Jack finished counting, the SUV suddenly went into reverse - and judging by the expression on Jack's face, he predicted this would happen. The car kept moving backwards until it was parked perfectly in front of Jack. When he tried the passenger door it was locked, so he tapped the tinted window. He kept his thumb stuck out as the window rolled down electronically.
"Don't suppose I could catch a ride with you, tall, dark, handsome stranger?" Jack winked at the man sat in the driver's seat.
"I'm not sure my boss would approve." Ianto was staring through the windscreen, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. "Picking up hitchhikers is dangerous and all."
"I'm sure he'd make an exception for cute ones."
The corners of Ianto's mouth tugged upwards. "Where are you headed, sir?"
Jack listed the address of Ianto's apartment with a brilliant smile. Ianto rolled his eyes, leaned over the passenger's seat and opened the door for Jack.
"Get in before I drive through you."