fic: so long, lonesome
title: So Long, Lonesome
pairing: Eleven/River (it's more of a character study then a ship-y piece to be honest)
words: 1118
rating: G
note: I'm not even going to pretend I know where this came from. Part of this is a rewrite of the last scene in the finale between the Eleven and River because I felt like the Doctor deserved a dance with somebody who loved him /end lulzy Whitney Houston reference.
So Long, Lonesome
The Doctor sat in the Pandorica, shoulders hunched, head hung low, barely hanging by a thread.
"River."
For a split second she thought she was only hearing what she wanted to hear, because why would the Doctor ask for her? Why would he waste his last breath on her? He didn't even know her, not really. She was just the woman with big hair who called him "sweetie" and said "spoilers" whenever he got remotely close to the truth.
"Doctor." She stared at the madman in a box.
"I need..." His speech slurred, making him sound older than ever.
"What do you need?" River stepped into the Pandorica. She was trying to keep it together for Amy's sake. She expected Amy would ask her questions later and she'd need to explain what would happen to the Doctor without breaking into tears. "Tell me."
The Doctor inhaled and exhaled painfully. Come here, Pond! he wanted to shout, but he was too weak to say anything above a whisper.
"I need... to speak with Amy... before I go." It sounded like every word that came out of the Doctor's mouth was hurting him. "Tell her... I need to talk to her."
What about me? River thought selfishly.
If this was it - if all memory of the Doctor was going to be purged from the universe, then who gave a damn about spoilers? The Doctor needed to know. He needed to know who she was.
"I'll tell her," she blinked back tears, "but first..." She watched his eyes widen, almost as though he knew what was coming. "I never imagined in a millennia that I'd be telling you what I'm about to tell you like this... You want to know who I am?" She forced a smile at him, which was hard considering the circumstances. "I'm--"
"Please, River," he silenced her. His voice was both soft and gruff, making her flinch. He looked at her with eyes pleading her to understand. "There isn't enough time..."
For you, she finished his sentence in her head. There isn't enough time for you to really know me, and there never will be.
"Of course, dear." She nodded shakily at him, her smile tight. "I'll tell her the Doctor will see her now."
She stepped out of the Pandorica and leaned her back against one of the walls of the box with her eyes shut, taking a moment to just breathe. Then she went to find Amy.
"I'm sorry," she thought she heard the Doctor sigh, but she assumed it was just a figment of her imagination.
(It wasn't.)
~
When the Doctor sent a message to River's transmitter, a small part of her thought that maybe, just maybe it was something personal from him. A proper goodbye, like the one he'd supposedly given Amy.
The message read GERONIMO.
That stupid catchphrase - but she knew all about those.
Goodbye, my love.
~
Something about watching the newlyweds slow dance made the Doctor feel happy but at the same time something quite different he couldn't put his finger on - no, yes he could. It was loneliness. He tried to shake off the feeling as he slipped away back to the TARDIS. He would at least save his brooding for later once he was inside his ship.
"Did you dance? Well, you always dance at weddings, don't you."
That voice... He had a feeling he'd find her here. He spun around to face River.
"I don't have a partner." The word 'dancing' was meant to go somewhere in that sentence, but he'd left it out on purpose.
"You will," she replied with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Will it be you?"
River just smiled. "Spoilers."
The Doctor shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and shook his head amusedly at her.
"I'm waiting," River went on.
He lifted an eyebrow in her direction. "For what?"
"For you to ask me for a dance."
His face was a cross between intrigue and nervousness. "We would need music."
"A lack of music has never stopped you before."
The Doctor eyed River curiously. "Is that so?"
She nodded and gestured towards the TARDIS. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"I suppose I don't have a choice?" He put the key in the lock and turned it.
"You always have a choice, Doctor."
He held her stare for a moment, then pushed one of the blue doors open and gestured for her to step inside.
"Thank you." She fluffed up her hair and stepped into the TARDIS. The Doctor followed her, watching her intently.
Looking like a woman on a mission, River headed straight for the console and pressed a button. Instantly soft and slow music started to play, filling the room along with the Doctor and River's ears.
"Come on, sweetie." She held out her hand for him to take. "Show me what you've got."
He looked hesitant at first, but the music was so relaxing and River's stare so encouraging, he couldn't say no. He took her hand in his and put his other hand on her hip, while she placed her hand on his shoulder. Together they moved slowly in time with the music.
"I was thinking of getting another fez - ow!"
"Oops," River said, as though stepping on his foot had been an accident.
"You did that on purpose." The Doctor frowned. "Fez hater," he scolded her fondly.
River laughed and felt the silky white scarf around the Doctor's neck between her fingers.
"This is a good look for you," she commented favourably, resting her head on his shoulder. He felt the soft curls of her hair against his cheek.
"This old thing?" He remembered Amy telling him he could absolutely definitely kiss the bride the moment he came out of the TARDIS in his top hat and wedding attire. "So I'm aware," he blushed somewhat.
What the Doctor wasn't aware of was the music the TARDIS was playing having an end, until he realized after several minutes they were holding each other in silence. He pulled away from her to take out her diary from the inside of his jacket.
"The writing's all back but I didn't peek." He gently took hold of her wrist and put on the vortex manipulator for her. Once he did the buckle on the strap, he asked River, "Who are you?"
"You're going to find out very soon now." He didn't know whether to feel pleased that he wouldn't have to wait much longer, or worried for what his future might hold. "And I'm sorry, but that's when everything changes."
And she disappeared.
The Doctor smiled as he leaned against the console, waiting for Amy and Rory to come find him.
pairing: Eleven/River (it's more of a character study then a ship-y piece to be honest)
words: 1118
rating: G
note: I'm not even going to pretend I know where this came from. Part of this is a rewrite of the last scene in the finale between the Eleven and River because I felt like the Doctor deserved a dance with somebody who loved him /end lulzy Whitney Houston reference.
So Long, Lonesome
The Doctor sat in the Pandorica, shoulders hunched, head hung low, barely hanging by a thread.
"River."
For a split second she thought she was only hearing what she wanted to hear, because why would the Doctor ask for her? Why would he waste his last breath on her? He didn't even know her, not really. She was just the woman with big hair who called him "sweetie" and said "spoilers" whenever he got remotely close to the truth.
"Doctor." She stared at the madman in a box.
"I need..." His speech slurred, making him sound older than ever.
"What do you need?" River stepped into the Pandorica. She was trying to keep it together for Amy's sake. She expected Amy would ask her questions later and she'd need to explain what would happen to the Doctor without breaking into tears. "Tell me."
The Doctor inhaled and exhaled painfully. Come here, Pond! he wanted to shout, but he was too weak to say anything above a whisper.
"I need... to speak with Amy... before I go." It sounded like every word that came out of the Doctor's mouth was hurting him. "Tell her... I need to talk to her."
What about me? River thought selfishly.
If this was it - if all memory of the Doctor was going to be purged from the universe, then who gave a damn about spoilers? The Doctor needed to know. He needed to know who she was.
"I'll tell her," she blinked back tears, "but first..." She watched his eyes widen, almost as though he knew what was coming. "I never imagined in a millennia that I'd be telling you what I'm about to tell you like this... You want to know who I am?" She forced a smile at him, which was hard considering the circumstances. "I'm--"
"Please, River," he silenced her. His voice was both soft and gruff, making her flinch. He looked at her with eyes pleading her to understand. "There isn't enough time..."
For you, she finished his sentence in her head. There isn't enough time for you to really know me, and there never will be.
"Of course, dear." She nodded shakily at him, her smile tight. "I'll tell her the Doctor will see her now."
She stepped out of the Pandorica and leaned her back against one of the walls of the box with her eyes shut, taking a moment to just breathe. Then she went to find Amy.
"I'm sorry," she thought she heard the Doctor sigh, but she assumed it was just a figment of her imagination.
(It wasn't.)
~
When the Doctor sent a message to River's transmitter, a small part of her thought that maybe, just maybe it was something personal from him. A proper goodbye, like the one he'd supposedly given Amy.
The message read GERONIMO.
That stupid catchphrase - but she knew all about those.
Goodbye, my love.
~
Something about watching the newlyweds slow dance made the Doctor feel happy but at the same time something quite different he couldn't put his finger on - no, yes he could. It was loneliness. He tried to shake off the feeling as he slipped away back to the TARDIS. He would at least save his brooding for later once he was inside his ship.
"Did you dance? Well, you always dance at weddings, don't you."
That voice... He had a feeling he'd find her here. He spun around to face River.
"I don't have a partner." The word 'dancing' was meant to go somewhere in that sentence, but he'd left it out on purpose.
"You will," she replied with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Will it be you?"
River just smiled. "Spoilers."
The Doctor shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and shook his head amusedly at her.
"I'm waiting," River went on.
He lifted an eyebrow in her direction. "For what?"
"For you to ask me for a dance."
His face was a cross between intrigue and nervousness. "We would need music."
"A lack of music has never stopped you before."
The Doctor eyed River curiously. "Is that so?"
She nodded and gestured towards the TARDIS. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"I suppose I don't have a choice?" He put the key in the lock and turned it.
"You always have a choice, Doctor."
He held her stare for a moment, then pushed one of the blue doors open and gestured for her to step inside.
"Thank you." She fluffed up her hair and stepped into the TARDIS. The Doctor followed her, watching her intently.
Looking like a woman on a mission, River headed straight for the console and pressed a button. Instantly soft and slow music started to play, filling the room along with the Doctor and River's ears.
"Come on, sweetie." She held out her hand for him to take. "Show me what you've got."
He looked hesitant at first, but the music was so relaxing and River's stare so encouraging, he couldn't say no. He took her hand in his and put his other hand on her hip, while she placed her hand on his shoulder. Together they moved slowly in time with the music.
"I was thinking of getting another fez - ow!"
"Oops," River said, as though stepping on his foot had been an accident.
"You did that on purpose." The Doctor frowned. "Fez hater," he scolded her fondly.
River laughed and felt the silky white scarf around the Doctor's neck between her fingers.
"This is a good look for you," she commented favourably, resting her head on his shoulder. He felt the soft curls of her hair against his cheek.
"This old thing?" He remembered Amy telling him he could absolutely definitely kiss the bride the moment he came out of the TARDIS in his top hat and wedding attire. "So I'm aware," he blushed somewhat.
What the Doctor wasn't aware of was the music the TARDIS was playing having an end, until he realized after several minutes they were holding each other in silence. He pulled away from her to take out her diary from the inside of his jacket.
"The writing's all back but I didn't peek." He gently took hold of her wrist and put on the vortex manipulator for her. Once he did the buckle on the strap, he asked River, "Who are you?"
"You're going to find out very soon now." He didn't know whether to feel pleased that he wouldn't have to wait much longer, or worried for what his future might hold. "And I'm sorry, but that's when everything changes."
And she disappeared.
The Doctor smiled as he leaned against the console, waiting for Amy and Rory to come find him.