(no subject)
I never write in here. But I feel like I need to write this here for people to read, because I need to know I'm not the only one worrying about this.
We're juniors in high school. We have a little under two years before we head our separate ways for the next four years of our life. And when I think about how fast these past two years have gone, I know that these next two years are going to move even faster. Which scares me. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I mean, I have a general idea of my major, but who knows if I'll end up doing that. And the schools I'm looking at? What if they don't take me? Or what if they're too expensive?
I see all the seniors this year scrambling around for college visits and applications. It's a big deal now. The seniors aren't some body of people that are so much above us. They're our friends. They're only one class ahead of us. What they're doing now is what we're going to be doing in less than a year. And that scares the shit out of me.
Today I looked in my yearbook at last year's senior class and I found the pages where it lists where everyone was going to school in the fall. I was hoping so hard to see the majority of the class going to schools far away. In actuality, most of the 2005 senior class is now attending Towson, UMBC, UMCP, or HCC. Not that that's bad. UMCP is a great school. I'll apply there because they have a really good journalism program. But such a big part of me wants something more than what everyone else is doing. I want to get out of this trap that everyone seems to fall into. Go to one of these Maryland schools, get a job around here, settle down right around where you grew up. And I mean, that's ok for some people. But I don't think I want that.
I need to get out. And right now, the schools I'm looking at probably wouldn't take me. I've been blowing off school already, and it's only 4th quarter. I need to work so much harder.
And maybe I will. Maybe I'll strive to do well, and I'll do fabulously and get into all the schools I wanted and get scholarships and get far away from here. But maybe I won't. Maybe something will happen and I'll trip up and end up somewhere around here. And that's what I need to prepare myself for, because it really could happen.
I'm sorry if all this sounds like I'm dissing Maryland and its schools and everything; I'm not. I just know it's not for me.
Am I the only one freaking out about this? Let me know if I'm completely insane.
We're juniors in high school. We have a little under two years before we head our separate ways for the next four years of our life. And when I think about how fast these past two years have gone, I know that these next two years are going to move even faster. Which scares me. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I mean, I have a general idea of my major, but who knows if I'll end up doing that. And the schools I'm looking at? What if they don't take me? Or what if they're too expensive?
I see all the seniors this year scrambling around for college visits and applications. It's a big deal now. The seniors aren't some body of people that are so much above us. They're our friends. They're only one class ahead of us. What they're doing now is what we're going to be doing in less than a year. And that scares the shit out of me.
Today I looked in my yearbook at last year's senior class and I found the pages where it lists where everyone was going to school in the fall. I was hoping so hard to see the majority of the class going to schools far away. In actuality, most of the 2005 senior class is now attending Towson, UMBC, UMCP, or HCC. Not that that's bad. UMCP is a great school. I'll apply there because they have a really good journalism program. But such a big part of me wants something more than what everyone else is doing. I want to get out of this trap that everyone seems to fall into. Go to one of these Maryland schools, get a job around here, settle down right around where you grew up. And I mean, that's ok for some people. But I don't think I want that.
I need to get out. And right now, the schools I'm looking at probably wouldn't take me. I've been blowing off school already, and it's only 4th quarter. I need to work so much harder.
And maybe I will. Maybe I'll strive to do well, and I'll do fabulously and get into all the schools I wanted and get scholarships and get far away from here. But maybe I won't. Maybe something will happen and I'll trip up and end up somewhere around here. And that's what I need to prepare myself for, because it really could happen.
I'm sorry if all this sounds like I'm dissing Maryland and its schools and everything; I'm not. I just know it's not for me.
Am I the only one freaking out about this? Let me know if I'm completely insane.