> Dave: It's go time.
> Dave: Prepare for Adventure.
Okay, you're going to need some things before you actually start this game. Like…a strife specibus. And other stuff like that, right? John told you about the strife specibi a long time ago, but they didn't really seem relevant because you never fight with your guardian like he does. But you think it might be relevant now.
Just…what do you use?
-- trustworthyGallant [TG] began pestering gamersTrenchant [GT] --
TG: john
TG: bro you gotta help how do i do this shit
TG: im not even gonna bother to correct that this is serious i gotta know how to put a weapon into my strife specibus
GT: hahahaha dude what you don't know how to allocate a strife specibi?
GT: jeez man i thought you were some sort of badass knight
TG: well yeah but thats totally different
TG: cmon john this knight needs a trusty spirit guide or whatever
GT: okay okay i will be your obi-wan kenobi i know you're dying to have me as one.
GT: so look okay, first off make sure you pick something you're going to want to consistently use to go to town with cause this shit can't be hot-swapped.
GT: catpchalogue it, then open up your strife portfolio. there should be an unused card.
TG: so you mean like a sword or something
TG: where am i gonna find a sword
GT: yeah bladekind's always a good choice for the mainstream.
GT: shit i dunno it's your house.
TG: dont think dad keeps swords around the house not like your bro
GT: oh yeah that's right he doesn't load the fridge full of swords to destroy any burglars who break in for a munchie attack.
GT: you're going to have to ask him about his securitiy measures dude
GT: anyway.
GT: look point is, drag whatever item you just captchalogued that you want to use as a -kind abstrati over to the unused strife specibus card.
GT: it'll allocate and shit will rearrange appropriately boom you're done.
GT: personally i always favored mace. nice and lethal and not easily imitable.
GT: but go with whatever good meaty sword analogues you have around the house i guess.
TG: ok ill go looking dont think we have any swords
TG: what about a knife or a broom or a rolling pin or something
TG: those sound good right i mean broomkind
TG: badass
TG: uh
TG: you didnt see that
GT: yeah okay totally stricken from the record but hey
GT: you wanna go all super housewife mode and chase shit off with a broom who am i to judge right.
GT: what the hell is the for anyway you sounded like you were gonna shit yourself.
TG: im playing that game with jade she told me to arm myself
TG: dunno why i think shes going crazy
GT: man she's always been crazy dude get with the times.
TG: maybe we shouldnt talk about her that seems kind of rude
GT: yeah whatever i guess don't get your boxers in a bunch.
GT: if she said to arm yourself you might as well get on that i mean she's crazy but hell even the crazy have reasons right
TG: right
TG: shes pestering me i think i gotta go
TG: thanks bro
GT: no problem dude have fun brooming shit to death.
You look around your room for a good weapon. Unfortunately…
No! Your figurine of Obi-Wan Kenobi has gone missing! That would've been the perfect strife specibus -- figurinekind, wielding the powers of the Jedi in a fight against evil! You must have misplaced it the last time you played with them wait no you don't play with them. That would be juvenile and obviously not something that a thirteen year old would do that was trying to be knightly and cool.
(You do, sometimes. When no one's looking.)
You decide to leave Jade hanging for just a bit to answer another chum who's pestering you. Maybe she'll give you some insight into the situation, she's usually pretty good at handing out advice.
-- transcendentTopiary [TT] began pestering trustworthyGallant [TG] --
TT: Please don't put that figurine into your specibus!
TG: oh hey rose whats up
TG: i was just thinking about that how did you
TG: was it your plants again
TT: They are very helpful sometimes, Dave. :)
TT: You should really wake up and listen to them sometime.
TG: dont really get that but sure i will one day
TT: I'm just here to remind you of another really good specibus. I think you'll end up liking it better, over time.
TT: Also, what if you ruin one of your collectables?
TG: oh
TG: didnt think that i could ruin them this way i thought they were like practically sacred in that specibus thing or something
TT: Not exactly. :(
TG: ok then
TG: what should i do instead then since you seem to have all the freaky plant answers
TT: How about broomhandlekind?
TT: I think that you would do really well with it. And imagine using it like a lightsaber! Or whatever it is that Jedi use. :)
TT: I have to go. My nap continues, because I'm needed somewhere else at the moment. Mr. Plant is calling to me.
TG: ok see you later rose
TG: thanks
TT: No problem. :)
TT: <3
-- transcendentTopiary [TT] has disconnected --
…broomhandlekind? Not figurinekind, not obiwankenobikind? Damn. …DARN. You mean darn, that's what you mean and you're sitcking to it. Jedi are your favorite people to imitate, besides famous knights from the history books and adventure novels. You were kind of looking forward to imitating them even further, with the whooshy robes and everything, including a lightsaber. You guess it just wasn't meant to be.
You spend a few minutes ogling your glorious memories of jedis and their awesome outfits.
Yeah, this is stupid. You should answer Jade.
GG: dave this is serious!
GG: are you finished talking to strider, because i think that you should return here immediately
GG: i can see what you are doing you know
GG: you cannot hide anything from me any more! wait why are you looking for your figurine collection
GG: dont you remember you took it downstairs to play with a few days ago you told me so
GG: alright well you didnt say play you said polish but it is really the same difference!
GG: what are you doing?
GG: did you just stop to talk to someone else?? dave please stop see i am calling you dave instead of david
GG: sooooo serious!
GG: ugh this is entirely too frustrating i will give you until the count of five to get over here
GG: one
GG: two
GG: three
TG: hi jade
GG: four oh! hello dave, finally!
GG: i was beginning to worry that you were not coming back
TG: nah im here i got a specibus
TG: im broomhandlekind
TG: rose helped me pick it out isnt it so cool
GG: um....sure!
GG: that reminds me that i need to declare my own strife specibus or whatever in the world you are supposed to call it
GG: but i will do that later! time is of the essence and there are adventures to overcome!!
TG: !
GG: !!!!
TG: okay lets get down to business to defeat some bad guys in this game what do i have to do ill whack them all with my broomhandle lets go
GG: alright, so....
You continue to do lots of things which the reader may have seen before in a different time and place, with slightly different players.
But you think that's ridiculous, so you continue to derp around for several minutes while we wait.
> A few minutes later.
Okay, derping complete.
You stand on your second-story porch, looking up at a huge-ass rock. Yeah, you're not even going to correct yourself on this. The rock is huge. And at the top, a blue sword is stuck deep into a crevasse in the rock.
Somehow you think you know what you've got to do before the meteor in the sky crashes into your house.
TG: jade im gonna do it im gonna grab that sword
TG: for you ok
GG: dave you are ridiculous there is a meteor coming!!
GG: i do not care what you do as long as you get out of there!
TG: im a knight im a knight im a knight
GG: you are stupid is what you are!
-- trustworthyGallant [TG] has disconnected --
You throw the phone down, disconnecting it as it skids back towards the door. Taking the rock hard and fast, that's what you're going to do. It's a little slippery, but you grab onto the side, tearing your fingernails and bruising your knees as you do. It's hard work. You don't think you're going to make it….
the meteor is coming
tick tock
tick
tock
you can sense it overhead, it's getting hot
that sword is only a few inches away--
you can reach it, you can do it--
you won't let this be the end of your journey-------
..
...
.......
...
..
BOOM.
-- amorousConductor [AC] began pestering trustworthyGallant [TG] at ??:?? on 04/13/2009 --
AC: *the fierce hunter apurroaches her prey with the stealth of a sneaky cat!*
AC: *she dives on the sleeping prey but does not hurt him!*
AC: *instead she curls up next to him, offering him her warmth*
AC: i know that you are offline but i couldn't wait to talk to you, human dave!
AC: i am soooo purroud of you!
AC: welcome to the land of gust and flame :33
AC: <3333
Okay, you're going to need some things before you actually start this game. Like…a strife specibus. And other stuff like that, right? John told you about the strife specibi a long time ago, but they didn't really seem relevant because you never fight with your guardian like he does. But you think it might be relevant now.
Just…what do you use?
-- trustworthyGallant [TG] began pestering gamersTrenchant [GT] --
TG: john
TG: bro you gotta help how do i do this shit
TG: im not even gonna bother to correct that this is serious i gotta know how to put a weapon into my strife specibus
GT: hahahaha dude what you don't know how to allocate a strife specibi?
GT: jeez man i thought you were some sort of badass knight
TG: well yeah but thats totally different
TG: cmon john this knight needs a trusty spirit guide or whatever
GT: okay okay i will be your obi-wan kenobi i know you're dying to have me as one.
GT: so look okay, first off make sure you pick something you're going to want to consistently use to go to town with cause this shit can't be hot-swapped.
GT: catpchalogue it, then open up your strife portfolio. there should be an unused card.
TG: so you mean like a sword or something
TG: where am i gonna find a sword
GT: yeah bladekind's always a good choice for the mainstream.
GT: shit i dunno it's your house.
TG: dont think dad keeps swords around the house not like your bro
GT: oh yeah that's right he doesn't load the fridge full of swords to destroy any burglars who break in for a munchie attack.
GT: you're going to have to ask him about his securitiy measures dude
GT: anyway.
GT: look point is, drag whatever item you just captchalogued that you want to use as a -kind abstrati over to the unused strife specibus card.
GT: it'll allocate and shit will rearrange appropriately boom you're done.
GT: personally i always favored mace. nice and lethal and not easily imitable.
GT: but go with whatever good meaty sword analogues you have around the house i guess.
TG: ok ill go looking dont think we have any swords
TG: what about a knife or a broom or a rolling pin or something
TG: those sound good right i mean broomkind
TG: badass
TG: uh
TG: you didnt see that
GT: yeah okay totally stricken from the record but hey
GT: you wanna go all super housewife mode and chase shit off with a broom who am i to judge right.
GT: what the hell is the for anyway you sounded like you were gonna shit yourself.
TG: im playing that game with jade she told me to arm myself
TG: dunno why i think shes going crazy
GT: man she's always been crazy dude get with the times.
TG: maybe we shouldnt talk about her that seems kind of rude
GT: yeah whatever i guess don't get your boxers in a bunch.
GT: if she said to arm yourself you might as well get on that i mean she's crazy but hell even the crazy have reasons right
TG: right
TG: shes pestering me i think i gotta go
TG: thanks bro
GT: no problem dude have fun brooming shit to death.
You look around your room for a good weapon. Unfortunately…
No! Your figurine of Obi-Wan Kenobi has gone missing! That would've been the perfect strife specibus -- figurinekind, wielding the powers of the Jedi in a fight against evil! You must have misplaced it the last time you played with them wait no you don't play with them. That would be juvenile and obviously not something that a thirteen year old would do that was trying to be knightly and cool.
(You do, sometimes. When no one's looking.)
You decide to leave Jade hanging for just a bit to answer another chum who's pestering you. Maybe she'll give you some insight into the situation, she's usually pretty good at handing out advice.
-- transcendentTopiary [TT] began pestering trustworthyGallant [TG] --
TT: Please don't put that figurine into your specibus!
TG: oh hey rose whats up
TG: i was just thinking about that how did you
TG: was it your plants again
TT: They are very helpful sometimes, Dave. :)
TT: You should really wake up and listen to them sometime.
TG: dont really get that but sure i will one day
TT: I'm just here to remind you of another really good specibus. I think you'll end up liking it better, over time.
TT: Also, what if you ruin one of your collectables?
TG: oh
TG: didnt think that i could ruin them this way i thought they were like practically sacred in that specibus thing or something
TT: Not exactly. :(
TG: ok then
TG: what should i do instead then since you seem to have all the freaky plant answers
TT: How about broomhandlekind?
TT: I think that you would do really well with it. And imagine using it like a lightsaber! Or whatever it is that Jedi use. :)
TT: I have to go. My nap continues, because I'm needed somewhere else at the moment. Mr. Plant is calling to me.
TG: ok see you later rose
TG: thanks
TT: No problem. :)
TT: <3
-- transcendentTopiary [TT] has disconnected --
…broomhandlekind? Not figurinekind, not obiwankenobikind? Damn. …DARN. You mean darn, that's what you mean and you're sitcking to it. Jedi are your favorite people to imitate, besides famous knights from the history books and adventure novels. You were kind of looking forward to imitating them even further, with the whooshy robes and everything, including a lightsaber. You guess it just wasn't meant to be.
You spend a few minutes ogling your glorious memories of jedis and their awesome outfits.
Yeah, this is stupid. You should answer Jade.
GG: dave this is serious!
GG: are you finished talking to strider, because i think that you should return here immediately
GG: i can see what you are doing you know
GG: you cannot hide anything from me any more! wait why are you looking for your figurine collection
GG: dont you remember you took it downstairs to play with a few days ago you told me so
GG: alright well you didnt say play you said polish but it is really the same difference!
GG: what are you doing?
GG: did you just stop to talk to someone else?? dave please stop see i am calling you dave instead of david
GG: sooooo serious!
GG: ugh this is entirely too frustrating i will give you until the count of five to get over here
GG: one
GG: two
GG: three
TG: hi jade
GG: four oh! hello dave, finally!
GG: i was beginning to worry that you were not coming back
TG: nah im here i got a specibus
TG: im broomhandlekind
TG: rose helped me pick it out isnt it so cool
GG: um....sure!
GG: that reminds me that i need to declare my own strife specibus or whatever in the world you are supposed to call it
GG: but i will do that later! time is of the essence and there are adventures to overcome!!
TG: !
GG: !!!!
TG: okay lets get down to business to defeat some bad guys in this game what do i have to do ill whack them all with my broomhandle lets go
GG: alright, so....
You continue to do lots of things which the reader may have seen before in a different time and place, with slightly different players.
But you think that's ridiculous, so you continue to derp around for several minutes while we wait.
> A few minutes later.
Okay, derping complete.
You stand on your second-story porch, looking up at a huge-ass rock. Yeah, you're not even going to correct yourself on this. The rock is huge. And at the top, a blue sword is stuck deep into a crevasse in the rock.
Somehow you think you know what you've got to do before the meteor in the sky crashes into your house.
TG: jade im gonna do it im gonna grab that sword
TG: for you ok
GG: dave you are ridiculous there is a meteor coming!!
GG: i do not care what you do as long as you get out of there!
TG: im a knight im a knight im a knight
GG: you are stupid is what you are!
-- trustworthyGallant [TG] has disconnected --
You throw the phone down, disconnecting it as it skids back towards the door. Taking the rock hard and fast, that's what you're going to do. It's a little slippery, but you grab onto the side, tearing your fingernails and bruising your knees as you do. It's hard work. You don't think you're going to make it….
the meteor is coming
tick tock
tick
tock
you can sense it overhead, it's getting hot
that sword is only a few inches away--
you can reach it, you can do it--
you won't let this be the end of your journey-------
..
...
.......
...
..
BOOM.
-- amorousConductor [AC] began pestering trustworthyGallant [TG] at ??:?? on 04/13/2009 --
AC: *the fierce hunter apurroaches her prey with the stealth of a sneaky cat!*
AC: *she dives on the sleeping prey but does not hurt him!*
AC: *instead she curls up next to him, offering him her warmth*
AC: i know that you are offline but i couldn't wait to talk to you, human dave!
AC: i am soooo purroud of you!
AC: welcome to the land of gust and flame :33
AC: <3333