Why was sitting up like climbing a mountain? Why was just thinking as difficult as crossing an ocean. Kay was so tired. So very, utterly tired. And so lost and the food didn't look appetizing at all.
But he did sit up, not one to reneg on a promise, and picked up a piece of bread to chew slowly. And then heavily leaned into Narvin. Still chewing, but returning that gesture that Narvin had done to him so often before.
Narvin stroked Kay behind his ears, then rubbed at the tight muscle where his neck met his shoulder. He brushed his cheek against Kay's and opened up his mind, offering extra serenity if Kay wished to take it, just as Kay has offered him calm during his own distressed times.
He was quiet, his jaw moving as he chewed. Swallowed. Just... smelled Narvin (the cleaner version). Enjoyed his dim heat. His deceptive sturdyness. The way his hands felt on tense muscle.
"It wasn't me." He said finally, hooking a finger in Narvin's collar. "It was an impulsive decision. Like a goddamn sports car. I'm old. I'll just get older. I'm past all the points in my life where I should have done something like that."
"Everything gets older. That is Time and her force on the cosmos. It does not mean that you are less because of it, or that you cannot do impulsive things that bring you pleasure." He slid his hand up to cup Kay's freshly shaved cheek.
"But if you feel that the appearance it gave did not properly reflect you, I accept that."
He leaned his head into the hand, actually enjoying the tingle the psychic link brought again and desperately clung to that stability.
"It didn't. I'm just me. Plain ol' me. Bureaucratic busybody and law enforcer. I'm not much of a beard man." He slid an arm around Narvin. "Tell me I'll get you some day. I know you're not in your right mind right now. But I want to hear it. I want to know that I'll get you."
He thought of telling Kay that he had him right now, but quickly realized that that wasn't what Kay meant. Kay meant a permanent bond, on Earth. Although Narvin remembered Gallifrey well enough, right now vague ideals of planetary security for a High Council he'd never liked were faint compared to what he had right here and right now--the beginnings of his own very first family. He kissed Kay and then muttered against his lips.
"I swear that you will get me. Someday I will come to Earth with you and we will be a family there."
That made him hint at another smile. He wanted that permanent bond. And if it weren't the middle of a flood he might have asked in desperation right then and there if Narvin would marry him. The only refrain he experienced was was that Narvin wasn't in his right mind and it wasn't fair when he might take it back when things straightened out.
"Okay."
Oh god, that was the fucking stupidest response he could give. He tried to cover it up by returning the kiss.
But he did sit up, not one to reneg on a promise, and picked up a piece of bread to chew slowly. And then heavily leaned into Narvin. Still chewing, but returning that gesture that Narvin had done to him so often before.
"Thank you, Sunshine."
Reply
"Why did you remove the fur?"
Reply
"It wasn't me." He said finally, hooking a finger in Narvin's collar. "It was an impulsive decision. Like a goddamn sports car. I'm old. I'll just get older. I'm past all the points in my life where I should have done something like that."
Reply
"But if you feel that the appearance it gave did not properly reflect you, I accept that."
Reply
"It didn't. I'm just me. Plain ol' me. Bureaucratic busybody and law enforcer. I'm not much of a beard man." He slid an arm around Narvin. "Tell me I'll get you some day. I know you're not in your right mind right now. But I want to hear it. I want to know that I'll get you."
Reply
"I swear that you will get me. Someday I will come to Earth with you and we will be a family there."
Reply
"Okay."
Oh god, that was the fucking stupidest response he could give. He tried to cover it up by returning the kiss.
Reply
Leave a comment