Thoughts.......

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This morning got me thinking and I believe I now have a plan for the rest of my remaining days here in this hell hole they call a town. I'm going to write it all up and stick it over my bed so I'll look at it every morning and every night. I think I'm understanding myself better, because I know the only way to achieve my goals is to kick myself in the ass and do them and not just say that I will. I'm still trying to find my self and am now doubting what I want to do with my life. Ever since I was 4 years old I wanted to work in the medical field. But, now I'm not so sure. I hate all math, I probably would like science more if I understood math and I want a job that I'll look forward to going to every morning. Something that will give me the feeling of completing a task and doing it right. Also, I want to be successful. I'm not planning on finding some guy and living off of him. I want my own money and I don't want to struggle to pay my bills. I know everybody says this once or more in there lifetime, I don't want to turn out like my parents. My mom is 42 years old and has worked all of her life and doesn't have anything to show for it except being overweight, depressed, and debt. The same for my dad, although he got lucky and actually found a job that paid more then minimum wage. However, that was 40 some years ago. Nowadays, no one can find a good paying job without a bachelor's degree.

I also feel like I'm growing apart from a friend. I'm not going to name name's but I feel like she has multiple lives right now. I know she is changing for the better but some times I wonder. You probably have already guess who it is I'm talking about and if you have just keep it to yourself. Summer is good at pulling people apart. I'm just happy that I have some way of communicating to my friends. It's nice to know your not the only one. :)