RP Log with musicalmedic | We Have to Talk

[timemaychange]

[Follows THIS and THIS]

Nathan was pretty sure it was supposed to be the pregnant woman doing all the throwing up, but the minute she confirmed the suspicions, it seemed like all he could do was throw up. He knew it was a mix of shock and panic, not to mention already being dehydrated from the flu. Pregnancy really had been the last thing he had expected her to come to him with. In fact, it had been so much the last thing, it hadn't even crossed his mind or had the ability to cross his mind until it was coming out of her mouth. He managed to work himself up into such a state that the tension needed to be released some way and this time a good orgasm just wasn't going to cut it. It took a good hour for him to be able to stop bolting to the bathroom. Every time he tried to get to Mel to talk to her, the nausea just got the better of him again.


But now, with the aid of a good healthy dose of Pepto Bismol and enough water to sink a ship, his stomach was settling down. He went to hunt Mel down, knowing they both probably looked like hell, but that was what commitment was all about right. He needed something in his stomach and his grandma always told him a cup of tea could solve anything. But he needed to talk to Mel more. He found her in the kitchen with the pregnancy test stick and he went over to her, taking it off her and pulling her up into a hug. "You know, a few months down the the track, this is all going to seem like something out of one of those cheesy comedy movies with a hot chick lead and stupid ugly dude she falls for in true love," he joked. "I'm sorry for being the stupid ugly dude... and I promise that I really usually have a much stronger stomach than this. But there is just one thing I wanted to say before anything else so you don't think it's just reactionary because I was going to say it before. I was I swear." He sucked in a shaky breath and squeezed her just a little tighter. "I love you."

Mel wasn't sure she'd heard right at first. Especially not when he was finally staying in the same room as her, and even had his arms around her, and Mel was just grateful for that. Then she had to replay it through her mind, and her heart jumped a little in her chest as she started to smile. Even after everything, it was hard not to feel happy at hearing Nathan say those words. "I love you, too," she whispered back, nuzzling in against the crook of his neck as she clung to him. "It nearly came out before in the bathroom... And it's true. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to say it, but now you've said it, which means I can say it. But are you sure? I don't mean that because I think it's reactionary, I just... After everything, are you still sure?"

"It's probably about the only thing I am sure about right now," Nathan admitted, still clinging to her himself in response. "I'm sorry. I really did not deal with this as well as I should have. I always told myself I would be way cool if it ever happened to me, and I totally blew that one out of the water. I don't even know if I'm done freaking out, but I think we need to talk and... tea. We need tea, because that's supposed to be awesome and I always just found that amusing before, but now I'm all for it. I will also stop rambling at some point. Are you okay?"

"It's okay, I like it when you ramble. I like hearing you talk, and I like knowing I'm not alone in the freak out. I'm sorry you had to vomit so much. I know some of it's the flu, but I just wish I could make it better. I don't know how to make it better, and that's really hard." Mel lifted her head long enough to brush her lips against his cheek, and jaw. "You're not the stupid ugly dude, by the way. You're far from stupid, and definitely not ugly. And I'm nowhere near the hot chick. You just have to deal with it however you need to. I'm not... I won't run. I can't. You're stuck with me, and not just because of the stick. I'd really like some tea. Do you want me to make it? I'm... I'm just stunned. I don't know what to feel yet other than that I know I love you."

Nathan rubbed her back. "No, you sit down, I'll make it. Hopefully I can remember my way around my kitchen. I wasn't feeling that great before you came home. It was just the shock... I don't even know... I can't explain it. I'm hoping it's stopped now, I feel like I've run a marathon. Every time I tried to come talk to you, it was back. I was getting to the point where I was going to start writing it down so you didn't think I was completely losing it and blaming you, because I'm not. I just want you to know that." He filled the kettle with water and put it on to boil. He glanced at her and brushed his fingers over his lips. "I feel a little like I've failed you," he admitted.

"I'm kinda glad you didn't have to resort to writing anything down because I'm not sure I would have been able to read it, but I'm glad you weren't leaving each time because of me." Mel frowned, sitting back in her chair as she brought her knees up under her chin. She watched Nathan's every move, and suddenly felt an exhaustion settle over her. She was crashing from the adrenaline and nerves, and now she just felt spent. "Failed me? How could you have possibly failed me?"

"Just didn't want to vomit on you," Nathan admitted wryly, scrunching his nose up. "Who needs a bad burrito, huh? Seriously hoping this shock and panic or whatever it is doesn't move in a southerly direction down my body right now. I don't want to disgrace myself anymore than I already have. But at least we've peed in front of each other, which is a hell of a start." He leaned against the kitchen counter, and then slumped down a little further so he was basically lying on his arm, but still watching her. "I don't know? That I made you worry I was going to freak out and then did just that? You're going through it too."

"Which I appreciate, but I could have cleaned it up. And me." Mel scrunched her nose up as well before sticking her tongue out. "Really, really don't need a bad burrito any more. I hope it doesn't move south for either of our sakes as well. I'm really sorry you seem to be the one copping all the physical effects. Who could ask for anything more, right?" Mel tilted her head a little to keep eye contact, and shook her head "No, baby, you don't need to worry about that. Who wouldn't panic right now? And I'd be worrying whether you did, or didn't. Washing machine, remember? I'll be okay. I think maybe I'm just... delayed. Like I'll freak out once I know you're okay, or something."

Nathan puffed his lips out and his nose scrunched up too. "I think I'm just run down. Need bed and sleep and you," he told her with a smile. "I don't want this to be the horrible experience some people make it, you know? I wanted to be maybe a little bit excied, even if I was freaking out and panicking. It's not that I'm not excited, I'm just really worried this might affect what we've got going here. I thought maybe I'd finally got something right, and I was happy. Really happy. And I still am! I just know how hard raising a baby can be... especially if things don't go completely smoothly."

Mel winced slightly, and hugged her legs tighter. "I know, I was happy, too. I didn't... I didn't do any of this on purpose. I wasn't trying to take the happiness away. Having said that, I'm not sure I can be excited right now. I talked myself into so many circles about how you'd react, and that you'd want to break up with me. And I know you don't, and I know you just told me you loved me, and that makes me happy again, but I don't know if we can be excited right now. I do know that I don't want to let this ruin us. Raising a baby can be hard, I got no doubt about that, but we can try and make things as smooth as possible when we've had some sleep, and bed, and... each other."

Nathan pointed. "That right there. That's why I feel like I've failed you," he told her quietly. "You're still blaming yourself and you were already anticipating I would automatically take it badly. I wish I had the energy to keep convincing you otherwise right now, but I really don't. I figure as long as we're being honest, you should know it does hurt a little that you thought I would break up with you because of this. But I guess we haven't had enough time together for you to really know me deep down. At the same time, I know it was stupid of me to think you were going to split with me, but you did admit you had a tendency of running sometimes. I just thought you might have been getting cold feet." When the kettle boiled he reluctantly dragged himself up again to make the tea, even if his actions were lethargic and his posture matching them.

"I feel like I've failed you too, Nate. I never meant for you to ever think I would leave. I can't help blaming myself. I'm trying not to. Like I said it was the whole washing machine thing. I don't want it to be like this, though. I want to be able to enjoy it at some point. For us to get to the part in the stupid movie where we realise this is a good thing. I know there's a lot of what ifs. I know there's details we need to fill in. I know we still need to spend time together." Mel unfolded herself as she got up to help him with the tea so he didn't have to carry both mugs. As she waited for him to finish pouring she rubbed her hand against his back, and kissed his shoulder. "You keep my feet so toasty warm, it's not funny. I'm in this all the way, Nathan. I just need to get all the washing machine thoughts out so they don't plague me. Like emptying a bin."

Nathan rested his head against hers, indulging in a moment of just not thinking, even if it was only brief. He watched the steam coming off the cups of tea, choosing not to add milk to his while his stomach was still a little tender. "Well, we just... down the track, we probably would have done this, right? If things went okay and it all worked out well. We wouldn't be in much different positions than to what we are now. You probably would have been living here and all that, but it would have mostly been okay. I still don't know how we're going to pull this off if you're working full time and I'm working all these strange shifts, but... the alternative is a termination, and that's not an option."

Mel shook her head as she looked at him. "No, it's not." Her fingers played with the sleeve of his robe, and Mel slipped in a little closer against him. Right now she really did need Nathan to get her through this, just like he needed her. If she kept that connection she'd be okay. It was if the connection was lost that things started to waver. "Do you want me to live here? I still can. And I can always tell them that I want part-time work if they'll let me. I mean, they can't say I should have warned them when I had no idea this was going to happen. I also can't just sit around while you're at work. I'm not so good at that, either. We'll figure it out, baby. I'm just not asking you to give up anything. I'm just... I'm asking you for a small space in your life. I can fit in wherever you want to put me."

Nathan nodded. "I told you that I did. I didn't vomit up my common sense, just maybe a good portion of my rationality. It's just really soon, and I don't want you to feel pressured or rushed into anything just because you are pregnant. I promise I won't get down on one knee and propose or anything just to try and do the right thing. I don't think there are any right or wrong answers here. I don't even really have many mates with kids to ask them about it. I did talk to Lachlan for a little bit the other day, but that's a different situation. I'm not saying you should sit around while I'm at work, but last I looked, a newborn couldn't take care of itself."

"The after bit," Mel mumbled as she made a face. "Randy asked me about that. I still thought she meant the during, just like you did. Only you both meant the after." She bit her lip and pulled away a little so she could play with her mug. "What does it mean that I can't picture the after? I can't bring myself to think about it because I get too scared. I can't... I just..." Mel pressed her hand against her stomach when she felt her gag reflex kick in and she only just made it to the sink before she threw up. "I'm sorry," she said before she burst into tears, her knuckles white as she gripped the sink with one hand, and turned on the tap with the other.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay," Nathan assured her, stepping up behind her so he could pulled her hair back. He used his other hand to rub her back softly, his own stomach sloshing around in sympathy. "You know, knowing our luck, we've both picked up this gastro thing going around. It's okay, just try and relax, okay. I'm not going anywhere. We've got time to figure stuff out. It means you haven't even known a day and you'll be able to picture the after soon enough. But the after is just a hell of a lot longer than the during, the during almost seems like the easy part for me." He reached up and got a glass out of the cupboard and let the tap fill it with water. "Have a drink, sweetheart, just take it slowly," he coaxed.

Mel's hand shook as she tried to take the glass, so instead she just covered Nathan's so she could take a sip like he said. After she swallowed, she smiled a little even if the colour was drained from her face and she looked like all she wanted to do was pass out. "I guess maybe this way we get all the bodily fluids out of the way. No secrets." Her stomach roiled again, and Mel leaned over the sink in case she was going to be sick again. "I want to be able to picture the after... I want the after to be happy. I don't want it to be something we regret, I don't ever want to regret anything with you because for the fist time in my life I've known what it's like to have a romantic other half. Potentially... I've never had that."

"And we can die together," Nathan joked. He had his hands full, so he couldn't feel her face to see if she had a temperature. "Do you feel hot at all? This could just be bad timing. The after will come, okay? There's no point trying to force it all in one afternoon. Evening? I don't even know what time it is. Regrets only come when something is over, and I'm hoping we've just begun. This is just... it's hard. There's a lot to think about and consider, there's a lot to take in. Some people can't even decide what to have for lunch in one afternoon, let alone what is going to happen when something happens to change their future."

Mel nodded a little. "Yeah, I do. I just thought maybe it was all the nerves. I always work myself up, and sometimes I overheat." She tried to wipe at the back of her mouth and then ran her fingers under the tap. She was still trying to wash away the mess she'd made. She'd also get out the bleach and clean the sink, but before she could even consider it, her stomach heaved again, and Mel was once again bent over the sink as she retched. Maybe it was bad timing. She could remember reading somewhere ages ago no one felt the symptoms of pregnancy for three weeks, and she definitely wasn't three weeks gone. "But we'll work it out together, right? We don't have to decide alone," she eventually said.

Nathan set the glass down and cupped his hand over her forehead. "You don't get a temperature from working yourself up," he murmured. He had her sat down on one of the kitchen chairs with a bowl in her lap a few moments later and was reaching up into the cupboard above the fridge looking for a thermometer he knew was there. He always kept a few around the place, knowing it was one of those things you could never locate if you needed it. It was going to be a long night if they'd somehow managed to get this bug, but the thing was, they had been out and about a bit lately, both at the hospital too. He found the thermometer and then sat down beside her as he reset it. "Of course we'll work it out together, someway. It'll be okay, it just might not be easy," he added and held the thermometer out for her.

Mel arched one of her eyebrows as she looked at him. "Just tell me it's a mouth thermometer because I'm not in the mood to be sticking anything up my butt right now." She took the thermometer and stuck it under her tongue. "At least I don't need to pee on it," she murmured around the stick. She watched him quietly, her eyes studying his face as she waited for the thing to give its little beep. When it did, she handed the thermometer back. "I don't need easy as long as I know we're gonna get through it together."

Nathan read the display and then held it up for her to see. "You've got a temperature. Was your brother breathing on you when he was ill? If your body has been realising it's pregnant, you might have been a bit run down and bugs have been jumping on you. The thing is, we've been swapping spit for days," he said with a wry laugh. "We'll try. I've had it on good source that bad times can you make you stronger. A lot stronger. Maybe we're just being tested?"

Mel stuck her tongue out as she moaned. "No! No, I'm not the one that's supposed to be sick. I'm the nurse! The naughty, sexy nurse that takes care of you. Not that I have a uniform, but that's not the point. And he might have. I mean, he is my brother. It's not like I would have thought about it. Then there is you and me swapping spit. But I loaded up on vitamins! I was supposed to be protected." Mel slumped in defeat, and raised her own hand to her forehead. "I feel like shit. Maybe we are being tested. I just want us to pass."

"All I know is my stomach is really upset and I'm a little nervous about drinking that tea, despite hoping it'll cure everything," Nathan admitted. He looked at her apologetically, even if he knew it wasn't technically his fault they weren't feeling well. He was tired and nauseous, still feeling like the flu was hanging around in his system. "I need to be horizontal, I think. We can work on passing tests later. I need to call in sick again for tomorrow, but we should go to bed. Or at least try to. I only have one toilet, this is going to be interesting."

Mel hugged her bowl, and nodded lethargically. "I'll bring this. Hopefully we'll find a rhythm with the being sick thing. I'll clean the sink in the morning." She shifted to hold the bowl with one hand, and reached out to touch Nathan's face. "I still love you. Even when my stomach's heaving, and we're both dying."

Nathan gave her a small smile of amusement. "Well, that's a plus. There'd be a problem if you didn't. If we get through this, we can get through anything. I don't even know if I can make it up the stairs," he added with a laugh, letting his head drop forwardly tiredly as he tried to work up the stamina to move.

Mel's hand shifted to the back of his neck as she rubbed it. "Maybe we can sleep on the sofa somehow? I'm skinny, I can fit on there with you. It's only in the next room. We'll get to bed when we can." She got onto her knees and let his head rest on her shoulder.

Nathan nodded. "Just need a second to decide if I'm going to throw up again. See? We so would have handled this awesomely if we weren't ill," he pointed out as he rubbed his stomach through the bathrobe. "There wouldn't have been any freak outs or panics, we would have rocked."

"We do rock. Even when we're sick we don't do it by halves." Mel bit her lip as she tried to work out herself if she was going to throw up again.