RP Log with musicalmedic | Knightess in Shining Armour

[timemaychange]

When it got to the point that Nathan was struggling to even get through a paragraph of patient notes without sneezing and he had taken a box of Kleenex hostage wherever he went, his boss had to step in and tell Nathan to go home to bed. Much to his boss' amusement, Nathan had initially tried to protest, but it didn't pack much punch when when he had to stop half way through in another bout of wet sneezes and finally admitted with a laugh that he was feeling rough and had been trying not to think about the haven of his bed at home. Getting caught in the rain that night had come back to bite him in the ass, of course. Everything with Mel had been so perfect, so of course there had to be some collateral, right? Which was fine. If getting a cold or the flu was all that he was going to have to pay for it, then bring it on. It wasn't anything that he could handle.

Though, right now, after being sympathetically but firmly told to get his butt home, he wasn't going to argue. He was starting to feel a little shivery, despite his face feeling hot. His nose was sore from all the tissues he had gone through, and his throat was sore. He wanted to go home and take a shower, get into some old worn, comfy pyjamas and maybe crawl into bed with a cup of tea. He was a little relieved he hadn't arranged with Mel to see her that night. He missed her, but he knew if he told her he had a cold, she would want to come around and he didn't want her to get ill. Not when she had a job prospect on the horizon and had to focus on that. He knew how much she wanted it, so it was important. Of course, he felt a little guilty about it and guilty about the fact he wasn't going to get in touch with her that night because if she heard his voice, she would know on account of the fact his throat had made his voice hoarse and scratchy like he was about to lose it. But he vowed to make it up to her, and figured after a good night's sleep, he would wake up feeling a little better in the morning, anyway.


He was wrapping his coat tighter around himself to try and get some warmth as he wiped his nose with a handful of tissues. He hadn't expected to be knocking off his shift this early, but he was relieved to be. Just the thought of getting out of the scrubs and off his feet was heaven. He started to sneeze again, waiting for the elevator to arrive on the floor of the Pediatrics department. He could have taken the stairs down, only being three flights, but he knew he didn't have the energy for it and in fact, he decided to lean against the wall as he waited, letting his eyes close briefly as he rested his warm head against the cool marble wall, arms crossed loosely across his chest. Thank god he had driven to work that day.

Mel was practically bouncing as she rode the elevator down from surgery. She had actually gone to see her brother briefly now that he was done dying for the moment. She had even managed to not bring up his covert lay, even when she'd caught a glimpse of George. The other woman had seemed embarrassed at seeing Mel with her brother, and then when her gaze had slipped to Matt, George just seemed down trodden. She'd even looked tired and worn, but maybe it had been a busy week. Without Matt they would have been scrambling to cover.

Now she was working on her ninja action to convince Nathan to go home after her chat with Cameron. She still couldn't believe Nate hadn't said anything to her, but then he was the chivalrous sort, and a workaholic type, so of course he hadn't said anything. He was protecting them both in a strange, backwards way. The elevator dinged, and Mel was about ready to take off bolting onto the ward as the doors opened, but she pulled up short when she saw Nathan standing against the wall and instead reached out to tug him into the elevator with her so he didn't miss it. She assumed he would want to go down when she saw him in his coat, and realised how sick he looked. "We've got to stop meeting like this," she said to him with a slight smile.

It took Nate a few moments for his brain to catch up and realise what had just happened. It was full of snot, afterall. For a minute, he actually worried he might had fallen asleep standing and waiting for the elevator and somehow his brain created an image of Mel. Only, if that had happened, he didn't think it would have been set in an elevator. Not that there was anything wrong with elevator fantasties, but not feeling how he was feeling and definitely not at his work place. His mouth was hanging open just slightly, a mix of shock and the inability to breathe through his nose. He cleared his throat and took a couple of safe steps away from her so he didn't breathe on her, then tried his best to look well and perfectly fine. "Uh... hey. What are you doing here?" he asked, but his voice was a lost cause and his nose was making him sound a little bit like Kermit the Frog. At least, to his ears that's what he sounded like.

Mel bit her lip, her ability to lie unless it was messing with her brother and sister sucked. She glanced away and shifted her weight before she pointed a finger upwards. "Visiting Matt. Just thought I'd, um... come see you. I was talking to Cameron. He mentioned you were sick. I was really worried." She let out a rush of air, and gave him a sheepish look. "You're part of the group now. Apparently we both are, so that means eyes everywhere, and people talking." She moved in closer to him, and reached out to touch his cheeks, and forehead. "How are you even still standing? You should be home, Nate."

Nathan reflexively leaned away from her and waved his hand helplessly. His other one contained the soggy tissues come up to cover his mouth and nose. "I'm fine! It's just a bit of a cold, I can handle it. Really. Cameron was just... I just... You don't need to be worried. My boss has sent me home, so I'll just go there and get a shower, it'll be all good. You should go see Matt and whoever else of the bunch is here for visiting. I'm sure with their, uh, eyes everywhere and stuff, they'll like visitors."

Mel frowned. "I've already visited Matt. I've done my pain in the ass sister bit for the day. He was dying from a virus, it's why he was all Mr Sulky Pants. It just happened to get timed with the break up of his, um... Yeah." Mel bit her lip before she spilled the beans. As far as she knew the details of Matt's covert lay weren't over the hospital, and she wasn't about to say. "So now it's me being a pain in the ass girlfriend, and you're just going to have to lump it. You're stuck with me, buddy, so just enjoy it."

Nathan tried to stifle a sneeze into the tissues, but it just made his eyes water and his nose tickle, leading to another sneeze. "It's going around, that stomach thing. We had a few kids in with it last week. Hospitals like to breed bugs. I'm just going home to bed or crash on the sofa with a movie. I don't want to get you sick, you might have a new job to get to. You can't tell them you won't rock up because you're ill. It won't look good! You're giving me a look. It's not an evil eyeball, but it's a definite look," he said, feeling slightly guilty even just from being pegged with it.

Mel smiled sweetly, looking like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. "A look? I wouldn't give you a look. Why would I give you a look? It's not like I'm determined to continue to be a pain the ass and stick around despite your warnings, or anything. I'm doped up on vitamin C and that other stuff. I made sure to be prepared. I'm not leaving you alone. I'll just stick around to make sure you have things you need. Plus it sucks being sick on your own."

The elevator dinged when it reached the ground floor and he made his way out of it without the doors nearly squishing him this time. He adjusted his bag over his shoulders, it feeling heavy from the achiness in his body. "Isn't that what old comfortable pyjamas are for and tea? At least, it's pretty much how I deal with being ill on my own. Or I call my Mom and whine a bit. I'll be okay, I just really don't want to make you sick. Swapping germs sucks too, not that I have a whole heap of experience in that." He zipped his jacket up to his chin when he felt another chill seep in through the opening. "Don't you have work or other things to be doing? Twin things! There's gotta be twin things, right?"

"Twin things can wait, and I had an appointment with the florists this morning, and no shifts from work, so..." Mel managed to snatch his bag from him, and put it over her own shoulders. She didn't have to be a genius to see he was struggling. She also reached into her pocket and pulled out a few surgical masks she'd pinched off Matt. "Told you I was prepared. I'll wear them until you start having nightmares about me. Nate, why don't you want me to take care of you? You don't... trust me?"

Nathan pulled some more tissues from his pocket to wipe his nose before it started to run unattractively. "You're asking me that even though I gave you my credit card?" he asked, with a small, rough laugh. "I just don't want to get you sick and you're making me sound like a broken record. It's also early days in the relationship. I'm feeling about as attractive as a hemorrhoid right now. I'm not going to be much fun, and I... um, get a bit shitty when I'm ill. And my head hurts and my eyeballs even hurt, and I can just head home and in a day or so, I'll be fine and we can go out again, or something. Another date?" He managed to get the question out before cutting himself off with another sneeze, rubbing his fingers over his forehead once it was over.

"Well, the credit card test was big. And so was you passed out, and hungover, but we survived. And you cope with my washing machine! Why can't I cope with you being sick. I'm tough, and I have a good immune system." Mel adjusted the strap of Nathan's bag so it stopped slipping off her shoulder, and pressed her lips together. Nathan was being much more stubborn than she'd planned. "And you're plenty attractive. People get sick, so it's natural. You should know that. And all guys say they get shitty, but I've got a brother, I can take it." She reached out to take the tissues out of his hand, and dump them in a bin as she handed him some fresh ones from her other pocket. She really was prepared. "I'd still like to go on another date, though."

Nathan watched his used tissues disappear and looked at the fresh ones in his hand. It wasn't that he had never, ever been taken care of before. A couple of his exes had made sure he was okay and comfortable, but it wasn't like this. There had been one ex who freaked out when she could hear him throwing up in the bathroom one time when he managed to get food poisoning. She said it was just a thing, but after that, he kind of felt awkward around her, like he had fucked up or something. It hadn't lasted much longer. This was really different, and she actually seemed to not just want to make sure he was okay, but stick it all out with him. His shoulders slumped just a little and he looked at her tiredly. "You really aren't going to take no for an answer, are you? And I don't have the energy to protest." He finally relented once they got out the door and draped his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder. "It's nice to see you. I missed you."

Mel had been watching him, waiting to see if he would relent, and when he did she could feel a tiny thrill of victory shoot through her. She'd never had the chance to take care of an ex. Most of them had done exactly what Nathan did and not told her they were sick, so she'd been oblivious. And unlike with Nathan, she had barely missed them. She hadn't found out they'd been sick because she hadn't really wanted to see them at all. And if she'd been sick then they had just called her up, asked her how she was, and left her to it. Mel slid an arm around his neck and kissed his temple. "No, I'm not taking no. Not from you. I'm glad it's actually nice to see me. I missed you, too."

"I wasn't trying to push you away, or don't trust you, or anything like that. I was just trying to do the right thing. Some chicks might appreciate not having to be around a sick boyfriend," Nathan reasoned, even if there was a little voice in his head telling him that the real deal girlfriends probably wouldn't do that at all. It wasn't like he was middle-aged or anything. He was getting a feeling this might be the early days of of his first really serious relationship. There had been girlfriends and dating, but none of the relationships felt like this and he was still trying to put his finger on why. "This is what I get for walking home in the rain in the middle of winter."

Mel kissed him lightly again near his hairline, careful to keep from kissing his lips in case he changed his mind. She still wasn't even really sure why she needed to be so close to Nathan, and take care of him constantly, other than she'd fallen for him since she saw him at The Bondi on New Year's Eve. "I know, but I'm not 'some chicks'. I'm me, and I want to be around my sick boyfriend." She laughed softly and nudged him gently. "That, and amazingly hot first date sex. I know you're sick now, but I still wouldn't change a thing about that night."

Nathan smirked and lifted his head again. "See, I knew you were going to say that. I must be psychic," he joked. He laughed a little as they started walking again. "I think if we didn't have hot first date sex, I probably would have caught pneumonia, so it's thanks to you that I only have a cold or whatever it is right now. I've been dreaming of just crawling into bed in a warm ball all morning. Sneezing in one of those masks isn't recommended. Did you drive? Because I have my car," he told her as he fished his keys from his pocket.

"Definitely psychic. The cold's given you new powers," Mel giggled. She rubbed her hand against his back, and followed him. "It's all that body heat. I, um, also hear that an orgasm is good for the sinuses. So once you're maybe... up for it, I could give you a hand with that, too?" She'd already given him a hand while he was asleep, and awake, so what did it matter if he was sick? "And I could crawl into bed with you. I have a shift tomorrow, but today I'm all yours. I didn't drive, I guess I must be psychic, too. Want me to drive your car, or are you okay?"

Nathan had to laugh again. "That's exactly what Pat said. It makes me wonder how anyone can manage an orgasm feeling like this, but I have been on my feet most of the morning. I just need to try and eat something then lie down. You really want to 'give me a hand' when I'm all snotty and gross? What if we try it and I feel too crap to actually get off? This is all hypothetical for me because I can't actually even ever recall a time I jerked off when I was sick, let alone have a helping hand with it." He handed the keys of his car over. "It's all yours. I could drive, but it'll be nice not to have to. I haven't hit myself up on cold pills yet. Probably why my head feels like it's going to explode." He cupped his hand over his forehead with a small moan.

Mel took the keys before she reached into her back pocket to pull out a box of cold and flu tablets. She gave him a cheeky look before shrugging a shoulder. "I really did came prepared to convince you you were sick. Cam said you were being all chivalrous, and I didn't think you needed to be, so... I was going to tackle you to the floor, and feed you tablets... Maybe. And hey, if Pat said that about getting off with a cold, who are we to doubt him? And hypothetically, I really wouldn't be bothered about giving a helping hand to you while you're snotty and gross, or if you don't become aroused, or whatever."

Nathan caught another sneeze again in the fresh tissues, but he was laughing from behind them. "I don't think the cold has gone south of the border yet," he admitted, blowing his nose as he took the pills off her with a shake of his head in amusement. "Half of me is actually glad I have a cold now so you didn't go to all this trouble for nothing. The other half of me feels like it wants to border on Man Flu and just feel sorry for myself for getting ill in the first place. I really can't remember the last time I had the flu. A good year, at least. Typically crappy timing. Are you really sure about this. You gotta know I'm not going to be offended or hurt if you don't want to waste time sticking around while I lie around in a crappy lump."

Mel nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. I've got an older brother, I know all about Man Flu. Plus, I'm kind of really smitten with you if you didn't already know and nothing could change that. I just want to help out if I can, but if you really, really don't want me to then I'll just drop you off, and leave you to be a ball under the covers." They were at his car, and Mel used the remote to unlock it. She looked at him, and smiled. "I won't be hurt or offended either, promise. I just needed to see you when I hadn't heard, and when Cam said you were sick, I just... I had to see. I needed to know you'd be okay."

Nathan climbed into the car and managed to curl up with his head resting against the windows and his arms tucked around himself to keep warm. It was tempting to just close his eyes and go to sleep here. His car was comfortable enough, more comfortable than those chairs in the doctors' lounge, anyway. "You know I'm not going to tell you to piss of," he told her with a tired smirk. "I haven't heard of anyone dying of the flu in this century, so I think we might be safe. I still can't believe he told you. I've never had that many people just... aware of what I'm doing before. I mean, it doesn't bother me. I've heard allllll about the hospital grapevine. Apparently some of the nurses are still trying to figure out if I'm gay or not and there is my name with a love heart around it in the staff toilets on third floor. Plus, something about a pharmacist. I think it was a pharmacist Pat said..." he mused, frowing in thought as he tried to recall the conversation.

Mel slipped into the driver's seat after dropping his bag in the back seat, and put the keys in the ignition before adjusting the seat. While she wasn't short, she still didn't have legs long enough to reach the pedals. She looked over at him, grateful he was already curled up so he missed the brief look of jealously. "Already part of the grapevine, huh? Well, that's cool. I think Matty was, too. I just hope he stays out of it for now. So does this mean I gotta stake my claim on you somehow so the nurses back off?"

Nathan shook his head. "He's not out of it," he had to revealed wryly. "Rumour has it he's sleeping with Pat's 2IC. At least, that's what I heard some of my nurses in the tea room saying yesterday afternoon. Two of them were discussing what your big brother would be like as a third part... so to speak. I have no idea. The odd thing is, no one has actually outright asked me if I'm dating or even bloody married. It's not like I couldn't be either. They just seem to like to fill in the gaps themselves. Reality is probably way more boring."

Mel started the car up to cover her clearing her throat. "Rumour has it... Those rumours sound pretty crazy. Matty's been a third part before. He loves getting laid. No doubt about it. He's really not a dater, though. Me and Randy have never really liked any of the girls he's brought home that could have been dating material. I got told by Randy I shouldn't get on my happy dating high horse and tell him to be happy and dating too, but I do want him happy." Mel wrinkled her nose a little. "Sounds like they watch too much General Hospital. No wonder reality's boring."

"Pretty crazy, huh? Don't think I missed your slip earlier on about your brother. I was just too polite to comment on it. I know you're just trying to protect him, and it's fine. I'm not going to be saying anything, especially not when I'm the brunt of just as many rumours. In saying that, you mustn't mind his 2IC or I'm guessing you would have outright told me she was a bitch and should be hung, or something. Your sister is probably right. I used to get that a lot from my mates back home. They started dating, and suddenly they wanted to play cupid and get me married off because dating was so awesome and there was nothing like it... until they split with their girlfriends, then it was suddenly the worlds worse everything, and girls shouldn't be touched with a ten foot pole. Makes me relieved I had my nose in a book or a DJ table most of the time." He turned on the heater and pointed all the vents towards him.

"It is crazy." Mel blushed scarlet, but shot him a look of relief. "I suck at lying. I mentioned that, right? Thank you for not saying anything. And it's not that I want to be rabid about it, and I am annoyed with the 2IC for betraying Matty's trust, but she was nice... And Matty was... I don't know. He was only sleeping with her. If he didn't care about her even a little, there would have been others, right?" She shrugged a shoulder before putting the car into reverse and working on getting them out of the car part. Driving his car seemed to be another small trust test in her head, and she was determined to prove herself worthy. "He's really angry about it, so I'm dropping it defintiely. No mentioning of her."

Nathan shrugged, even though he had gone back to hugging himself. It was more just a matter now that his shoulders and neck were aching, curling up in a ball did seem really appealing. "I don't know. I guess it would be hard to just base any feelings on that. They're both nurses, they'd both have mental schedules. He might have just stuck with her because it was there and available. Not to make him sound like a bastard, because I'm not. I used to be like that. If it was nice, and it was convenient, why not? Sometimes the whole dating thing is just tiring and when you already don't have much energy from work, if you don't have instant chemisty with someone, it's just like letting it run its course. Then, if she betrayed his trust, maybe it was right to do what he did? It's not like I'm an expert, but maybe sooner or later he would have come around to the dating thing if it had gone okay on the hush. It didn't. Maybe he's just thinking he can't trust her."

"No loaning his credit card to her," Mel murmured as she focused on working her way out of the car park. She'd only been in the underground parking a couple times, and she'd forgotten just how bendy it could be when you were trying to get out. She reached out and gave his leg a squeeze when she had a spare moment. "Friends with benefits. Which I get. Or I guess this is colleagues with benefits, but you're right. Even if you're not an expert," she teased lightly.

Nathan gave her a small smirk, trying not to actually look out the windows as the wove their way out of the windy car park. His head was pounding and it was making him feel dizzy. "I just think he might get the bum end of the stick. All oh my god, how could he possibly not want to stick with someone like her because she's so hot, doesn't matter she's his boss, all that. But underneath it all, he's probably quite hurt she told whoever she told. If they were fucking, there was some trust there on some level. He's just probably angry because everyone wants to be in his face about it. I'm talking from experience, not expertise. One of my exes, she was the popular sort. We split for... a stupid reason. Really stupid. I didn't want to stick it out with her. You would think I was a romantic leper after that. How would I have ever not wanted to keep dating her?" He snorted and brushed his fingers through his hair to try and massage his aching scalp. He didn't care if his hair was a mess in the wake of it.

"I'm not going to do that to him. I don't want to do that to him. I was just hoping he might have found someone special, but she did fuck it up. I'm not trying to defend her. She did hurt my brother, and I do kinda want to kill her. But more in a subtly evil kind of way. Wouldn't want to draw attention," she smirked. When they were out on the street, Mel could handle the wheel with one hand and she used the other to massage the back of Nathan's neck as best she could. "Well, I'm glad she didn't stick. Fuck the popular girls. You want obscure and slightly neurotic with washing machine brains, and mad skills in the sack."

Nathan gave a tiny moan when they got out into the sunshine and scrambled around in his glove compartment for his sunglasses, hastily putting them on so the watery winter sun didn't burn his eyeballs out. "And way better nursing skills. The chick nearly went into hysterics when I was sick one night. I don't expect people to take care of me... obviously," he added with a small laugh, "but it would be nice not to feel like a complete loser for being ill. I just figured if she couldn't even handle that, there wasn't much chance she would handle the relationship in general. I always thought a relationship saw out the good, the bad, and the ugly. And here I go, sounding like a hyprocrite, considering I didn't even tell you I was feeling crap, but I really didn't want to get you ill and I just... I knew you would want to help. Because you're amazing."

Mel had to let out a soft laugh as she glanced over at him. "You didn't want to tell me because you knew I would help? If I didn't realise that linked in with the not wanting to make me sick, I'd be wondering about whether you even had a washing machine brain. I know you're protecting me from the big, bad germs, but I'll be okay. Promise." Then she grinned, unable to help her ego being boosted just a little. "I think maybe I am just a little bit amazing."

Nathan smiled at her, having managed to curl up in a ball with his head against the window in a position that gave him a perfect view of her from behind his glasses. "Just warn me now if you have issues with vomit. Not that I'm planning on testing out that theory, but not sure the ego could take that knock twice in a lifetime. And yeah, I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would help. Means you would be in breathing distance, and after what Pat said I knew I would be... uh... I'd be tempted to do more than breathing in your vicinity."

"Thought you didn't feel sexy when you were sick?" Mel asked as her grin morphed into another smirk. "You really are good for my ego, baby. But not the only reason I'm crazy about you. If you do get tempted to more than just breathe in my vicinity, I promise we'll take it slow and I won't overexert you. Especially considering I'm always tempted to more than just breathe in your vicinity. Cam says we're in the the lusty honeymoon stage. Guess the Preston twins got us all figured out, huh? I have no issues with vomit, so feel free to throw your heart up."

"I don't, but that doesn't mean my dick doesn't. They have a mind of their own, you know. It's anatomical fact. Trust me, I'm a doctor," Nathan added with a laugh that crossed with a sharp sneeze he caught in his hand before he did something gross like snot all over the windscreen. "And if sleepy sex is apparently so wonderful, and orgasms are good for the sinus, maybe there is something to be had in sick comfort sex? Only, we get back to my original problem. Making you sick. You didn't tell me how the meeting with the florist went. Yes, they have, and they're scarily perceptive. Is that a twin thing I haven't cottoned onto yet? I'm going to hold you to that one day, you know. I'll take anything that's not sobbing outside the bathroom door and then running off screaming, practically."

"Oh, I trust you. I'm the one that feels you up in your sleep, remember?" Mel joined him in laughing until he sneezed, and then she looked over at him with concern as they stopped at a light. She reached out to rest her hand on his leg, and gave it another squeeze. "I'm all for sick comfort sex, and I'm sure we'll find a way to not make me sick. I mean, if this is from being out in the rain, then who's to say it's even catching? Maybe I'm instantly immune? Or maybe... we have to try the spooning from behind sex thing." Mel took her hand away long enough to change gears when the lights changed, and then put it back as she smiled. Even when he was sick he wanted to know about her meeting. "It went okay, actually. I think they really liked me, and I really liked them, and they showed me around, and gave me a lot of information on how they operated. They even let me do one of their orders. I think it was like a test, you know? I think I passed too, but they're going to let me know in a few days if there's anything they can offer me. Um, I think it can be a twin thing. Or maybe we're just not so sneaky ninja? I can't believe you had a girlfriend that did that... Was she mental?"

Nathan blew his nose again. "Oh, I remember, I just wish I remembered the actual act. I haven't been able to get the idea of spooning sex from my mind much lately. I just seemed to have a thing about facing you when we do it. But I'm not saying I don't want the spooning! Because fuck, I really do. You're just so easy to fall right into the traditional embrace with, and I love it. It's nice being with someone you've got a connection with in and out of sex. I'm starting to see what all the fuss is about. And this is true, it could just be a viral infection. I'm sure we'll see. You've pretty much already got it by now if you're going to." He listened to her talking about the florist and smiled. "Oh yeah? So, you had fun? What did you make? One of our kids had this sweet arrangement next to her bed this morning. All pink flowers with a teddy bear and balloons, lots of ribbons. She loved it. One of our terminal cases, unfortunately, but man, she smiled so much, it was awesome. With two of you, it's hard to be sneaky ninja anyway, unless you're pretending to be each other. Yeah, I think she was. But no, she said she had a vomit phobia. But jeez, it wasn't like I was projectile puking. I just felt crap. Some comfort would have been nice. It was her mother's cooking that did it to me."

Mel tapped his leg with her finger. "Maybe it's better as a mystery. Otherwise you'll keep wanting to wake up, and I won't get to play with you. Not that I don't enjoy it when you're awake. I mean, we've been over this. I like it every which way with you. And I'm really not complaining about having sex with you while you face me either. Because I love it. Just... you know, it's a fantasy. Doesn't mean it ever has to be real. I can also definitely see what the fuss is about. Finally. I'm just... I'm so..." she stopped as she tried to catch her breath while her nerves collided with excitement, and happiness, and she was rendering herself speechless while she smiled widely. "I'm just really lucky. And yeah, I had heaps of fun. Hey, that was mine! That's what I did! They told me it was for a kid, so I made it more fun. Aw, she smiled? Really? I had no idea what the girl had wrong with her, but I just love that flowers can cheer people up even for a moment. I can't believe she's terminal... That's so sad. We can't anymore, not since I dyed my hair. I guess if I went back to being natural, we could try it again. We used to do it all the time when we were kids. Vomit phobia? What the fuck does that even mean? Are you serious, her mom's cooking? Yikes. I hope my Mom's cooking never does it to you."

"I don't want it to stay a mystery. I want to try everything with you. It just sort of lags when it's competing against my work." Nathan fell quiet for a moment, wiping at his nose. "You're alright with that, aren't you? The time and the schedule. I know it can bite, but you know, maybe at some point we can move in together and it won't always be catching a night here and there. I mean, not to jump the too far ahead too quickly or anything, but just so you know it's an option. I know it sucks right now, of course it does. My shifts are all over the place because I'm new to this, and even weekend nights I'm tied up. Not everyone would be pleased with that."

His head was getting to the point it was starting to be unbearable, so he fished his bottle of water out of his bag and took a couple of the flu pills she had brought for him. He was still in awe that she even did that. He could wholeheartedly say no girlfriend had done that sort of thing for him before. It was mostly just dates and sex, nothing that had really stuck. "That was yours? It's was perfect, you really made her day. She wanted everyone to see it. You should drop by one day, say hello to her. It's a little confronting, sure, but she's still a little kid beyond all the tubes and medications. Likes dolls and tea parties and doing people's hair. I'm serious. You can see why I went off her after that. I was just bewildered. Everyone does it. It wasn't like my arms dropped off and blood was spurting out of the holes."

Mel gripped the wheel tightly as she tried not to swerve in shock. "Move in? I... yeah. I mean, when it's time. I would love that... It was nice the other night when I was waiting for you and we had sleepy sex. I didn't mind it. I've never minded your schedule. I just want you to know that. It's why I'm happy just to go with whatever plans we can make. I love every second I get with you, and I'm glad when we get more, but I understand the schedule thing. And it would be easier when we do live together. Eventually."

"Yeah, that was mine," she said with a grin. "I can't believe I actually made a kid that excited about something. Wow... Am I allowed to see her? I don't want to intrude. I mean, she probably just wants her family close by and stuff. Not some stranger. She could totally do my hair if she wanted. It's growing again, so there's more to play with. Jeez, yeah. I can't believe some girls. I don't get what's wrong with them. I'd still be with you, even with no arms."

Nathan held his hand up. "I promise, I'm not pushing, or trying to rush anything," he quickly added, realising his voice was starting to sound like something off a phone sex line. He wasn't sure it would be there at all come morning. "Just... at some point. If things go well, and we can stick this out, and no disasters happen. I know you live with your sister and it might suck moving away from her, and all that. I'm not pressuring you. Just, it's something to think about to figure out the time thing. I wish I could say my schedule will ease any time soon, but I'm really not sure it will. It could even get more sucky if they stick me on nights."

He shook his head. "She's stuck in hospital and she knows she's dying. She likes friends, meeting new people. It's why we have a lot of group things for the kids. They play games, read stories. For the ones who are well enough to be up. She knows she doesn't have a lot of time, she might appreciate the chance to thank you herself. She told me herself she's not going to stop living until she's dead. Ten years old, and that comes out of her mouth. Some kids, us adults should really take a leaf out of their books. It's all down hill once you lose your innocence. You can come visit her any time you like, her parents are great. Like Tara and Lachlan, only a little less cool and more sort of... school teacherish, considering they are just that," he laughed.

Mel shook her head. "No, no. I wasn't freaking out! I actually love the idea. I know you're not pushing. And I'm not saying you are! I do love living with Randy, but living with you really would be a solution. Barring disasters, and assuming we stick it out. Which I hope we do." Mel bit her lip and glanced at him. "You know, you sound so fucking hot right now."

Her eyebrows went up. "She said that? Jesus... That kid is way to wise for her age, but then no kid should be dying at ten years old. I feel like I want to cry, and I don't even know her. How am I going to meet her without crying?" Mel smiled a little. "They do sound like great parents, but it's still going to kill them that their kid's going before they do. It's just not right."

Nathan looked at her in disbelief and laughed. "Are you serious? I sound like a dodgy porn star. I'm going to lose my voice. I'm pretty sure if I was gay, people would be impressed with my oral skills right now," he predicted in amusement. He wet his lips, which were dry and cracked from the cold. "Well, give it some thought. You might decide I suck to live with. I know I leave the toilet seat up. Bad habit from being a bachelor."

"I know, it is hard. But you learn to learn from them. All they want is to enjoy the time they have. She's a real little girl, you know? Loves all the girly stuff, so your flowers were just perfect. Man, if I ever have a daughter, it's going to be so tempting to dress her up like a little doll, you know? Her Mom said she wanted to treat her like a princess since she was born. It's just... it's sad. Very sad, and crying, well, she understands. It is sad. She won't grow up. But she doesn't want to be treated like she's already dead. Caleb was too young to have wisdom like that. He never really knew he was dying, or understood what it meant and he just... went to sleep one day. Didn't wake up." He fell silent, a small frown on his face as that familiar cold feeling of loss crept through him. He didn't mean to drag the conversation crashing down. And he hadn't. It was always going to be part of him, and he hadn't really spoken much about her to it. He realised he wanted to, though.

"Hey, you're my dodgy porn star, and you're turning me on," Mel said with a husky laugh. She couldn't help it. Nathan could have been sitting there in tweed, and overalls, and she'd be turned on. "Then we'll just have to work on our non-verbal communication. And I'm impressed with your oral skills, but not for that reason. You're a guy! It's not that much effort for me to put the seat back down. I don't get why there's always such a huge fuss about it. And besides you might decide I'm not good enough to live with."

Mel laughed. "Somehow I can picture you playing dress-ups with a daughter. What if she's a tomboy, though? I can't believe some poor kid already understands life and death so well..." Mel took his hand in hers, and linked their fingers together. She gave his hand a squeeze in support, and looked over at him. "I'm so sorry you lost your brother, Nate. I still can't even imagine losing Randy. I wish I could bring him back for you, but I know it's impossible."

"I know, I know. But some people have a real hang up about it, which shouldn't be a problem if your toilet is clean, anyway. We have to put it up in the first place, right? There would be more issue if we just went right on ahead and didn't do that, and then there would be reason to moan," Nathan realised, glancing briefly out the window when they got to his street. He couldn't believe how relieved he felt to be nearly home. He probably shouldn't have even gone to work that morning. "Why would I do that? I was the one who suggested it," he reminded her, watching her face.

He squeezed her hand back, clearing his throat softly. "Thanks. That means a lot. I wish it every day, too, but it was just... luck of the draw. I don't think she's old enough to understand life. That's the sad part. She knows death more than she knows life, and her parents just want her to be happy and see her laugh and smile as much as they can before she's gone. It just makes you angry when you think about those parents that don't give a shit about their kids, don't have time to spend with them. I'm never going to be like that."

Mel nodded. "Yeah, well, sure. But then you'd have reason to be mad at me for a dirty toilet too, even with the seat down." Mel wet her lips and shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know, but you might. My washing machine tendancies might be too much, or I might be too messy for you, or something. Whatever reason it is that makes you think I won't want to live with you."

"Me either," she decided. "I want to give my kid the world. I'd definitely spend every moment I could with them... Make sure they did know about life, and not just death. That they can smile, and laugh, and... yeah. And hope they never have to go through what you did, or what this girl's going through, but I guess there's no messing with the draw."

"Well, we can both breathe easy. I might be a dude, but I like to keep my toilet clean, even if the rest of my place is a shit hole. I think it must be the doctor in me. I'm a nerd, too. I always use the toilet seat covers in public bathrooms if they're available, even if they stick to your butt," Nathan laughed and held his hands up. "Now we're delving into my deepest and darkest secrets. It must be serious. That's easy. Because I can be a typical messy bachelor when I want to be."

He nodded. "I know it sounds like I'm bullshitting, but you really can tell when a kid has been loved unconditionally. They seem to have this shine, and it's great. There's no messing with it. It's why you should enjoy every moment you've got. Even if your kid doesn't have a death sentence, they don't stay kids forever. They aren't young very long, even if they're always your kid."

Mel pulled into Nathan's drive, needing to take her hand away from his so she could park the car safely, but soon picked it up again and kissed the back of it as she smiled. "I get pee fright in public toilets sometimes and have to close my eyes and block my ears and imagine my own bathroom. Guess it really is serious. And now your secrets aren't alone."

For some reason Mel felt her stomach flip, and this knot of anticipation in her gut. She really did want kids, and she looked at Nathan, and could just imagine having kids with him. But she didn't say it out loud even if they had danced around the topic briefly once. "I don't think you're bullshitting, baby. I believe you."

Nathan was laughing until he started coughing from his dry, tickly throat. He was gathering up his bag, pulling his sunglasses off to stuff them back into the glove compartment. "Pee fright? What do you do when you have to, you know, do a number two? Do you just avoid it and wait until you get home? I do get it, thought. Some public bathrooms are bloody scary. I'm glad I'm a guy and don't actually have to touch anything when I go."

"Just makes me think of my father. I don't actually hold any ill will towards him. He was just so cut up when Caleb died and it ruined his marriage. I just never understood why he couldn't still be my Dad. I don't remember a lot about him, I think it must have just had to have a lot to do with the fact I looked so much like Cal. I don't think I lacked anything not having a father so much, but it still does make me want to do everything I can to be a good one myself when the time comes," he explained. "When you see some kids look at their parents with so much love, you can't help wondering what it would be like."

Mel nodded, and started to blush a little from embarrassment. "I can't help it! It just feels like everyone's listening sometimes. I mean, peeing in a stall in a mall isn't always fun. And neither's pooping, but that one you can't deny. Especially after a bad burrito. I just hope someone uses the hand dryer to cover the noise."

Mel leaned across in her seat, and touched her hand to his face. "You couldn't have helped looking like Caleb, so I don't think that's a good enough reason... I think maybe just some people aren't built to cope with that kind of loss. I don't get why he couldn't have been your father because you're an amazing guy, and he should be so fucking proud of you." She nodded a little. "Yeah, exactly. And wondering just what kind of person they could be."

Nathan was still watching her in amusement. "What if I heard you?" he asked, maybe unintentionally throwing another small test in her lap.

"No, I really don't think they are. And you know the hardest part? I know if I lost a kid, it'd kill me. I understand, I do. But at the same time, if I had two," he held up two fingers for emphasis, "and I only lost one, I would know that it couldn't kill me. I'd have to stick it out for their sake, and that they should be my reason for doing that. Like my Mom. She was dying inside, but knew she had to keep her head up for me, because I didn't understand. I didn't get at all why I lost my father and my brother. Not until years later. Yes... that right there. What they're going to be, how they will look on their first day of school, what their favourite colour will be."

Mel looked at him, and bit her lip briefly. "Well, that's different. I know you. I'm comfortable around you, although now I might be slightly paranoid about you listening out for me pooping just to see how I'd react. But I'd be okay with it."

She was nodding in agreement the whole time and watching Nathan's face. "I want babies," she blurted out, and leaned back in her seat as she clapped her hand over her mouth like she'd said something wrong. "I'm sorry, I just... all this kid talk, and looking at you, and I just... I want kids. I know we talked about it on our first date of all times, but I do... I want yours."

Nathan shook his head with a laugh as he shifted stiffly in his seat, nursing his bag in his lap. He really was aching all over. "I wouldn't, I promise, I wouldn't. I wouldn't trap you like that, or invade your privacy. That's what doors were invented for, right? Some days I wish even urinals had doors. I just meant if there was ever a time when there was... you know, bad burrito. My bathroom isn't totally sound proof, which I learnt when Mom was here and I, uh... had some stress relief one morning," he said, laughing as he blushed a little.

His eyebrows shot up and he blinked in surprise. That was the last thing he expected to come out of her mouth. "You... mine?" he stammered at first, stunned. "How... um... this is a in the future thing, right? Like the moving in?"

"Oh, well, yeah. Bad burritos. I'll take care of you when you have a cold, and you can take care of me with the bad burritos," Mel said with a smile. Then she just started to laugh. "Oh my god, how embarrassing. I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

Mel was still wide-eyed as she looked at him, but managed a nod. "Yeah, of course. Not a now thing. So not a now thing. I just... um, future babies..."

Nathan pointed. "What if you have a cold and I have a bad burrito? Not that I like burritos, so lets go with a bad kebab or something. It was a little embarrassing, but it's Mom. We just had a laugh about it once I stopped floundering stupidly and blushing. She did actually tease me at that point and told me I need a girlfriend." He studied her closely for a few moments, wondering how he had thrown her a small test and then she tossed back another huge one. "Wouldn't you want to be married first?" he found himself asking in surprise.

Mel pointed back at him. "Then we'll cope, and you'll just have to put up with me feeling terrible, and moaning, and not wanting to do anything. I'm not like you. I'm not a hero when I'm sick. I stay home and mope, and cough, and sneeze, and sometimes even fart. And if you have the bad kebab then I'll make sure you don't have to feel embarrassed, and even clean the toilet. Your mom really does sound like a good woman." Mel frowned. "I don't know. Yes. But I wasn't really thinking... I mean, they come after the moving in. And probably after marriage. Only we didn't mention marriage yet. But now we have."

"Okay, stomach things I'm not such a hero. I hate it, and I'm a whiny bastard when it happens. I feel like it's something I have no control over," Nathan admitted, scrunching his nose up. "It's also usually what I feel most helpless with if I'm taking care of someone else with it. You just know you can't give them a pill and stop it, they just have to let it run it's course." He wet his lips again. "Do you want to get married... at some point? I know some people don't believe in it."

"You can give me water, and... I don't know. Sit outside the door and sing to me, or something. Sometimes it's nice just knowing someone cares. I don't know. I've never had anyone else with me when there's been a bad burrito. Well, Randy, and usually we're taking turns in the toilet. It's not pretty when we both get hit with something." Mel glanced down and then gave a nod. "Sure, but it was always going to be dependent on the person. They'd need to take all of me, plus Randy. Not everyone wants into the twin thing. I could... I could see me marrying you. Eventually. In the future. What about you, do you want it at some point?"

Nathan shook his head. "Oh no, no. You don't want me to sing. You really don't want me to sing," he warned. "See, that I get. I might have only had Cal for a few years, but we always, without fail, got sick at the same time. Except for the cancer. I never understood why I wasn't catching it, Mom never knew how to explain it either. You'll have to make plans to go camp out with her if you move in and she gets ill." He scraped his fingers through his hair. "I guess I always have wanted to, if I met someone who I was crazy about. It's funny, I always assumed the marriage would come before the kids, but like I said, I'm a traditionalist. I want to do the right thing, but I never considered what would happen if it was the other way around. I mean, there's no rule these days, is there. The kid wouldn't be any less loved, but yeah... I'd like to be married."

Mel leaned back over, and kissed his forehead as she stroked her fingers against his cheek. "Sick as a dog, and yet we still cover some pretty deep and meaningful territory. Thank you for getting the twin thing, even though it came at a huge price. Now, come on, we'll get you inside and all comfy. Then we'll see about helping you clear those sinuses," Mel added with a cheeky look as she winked at him. "At least we're on the same page now, right?"

"Well, if we aren't, we've got time to find our way there," Nathan promised and gave her a quick kiss.