RP Log with randybyname | Sisterly Shopping Duties
[Backdated so hardcore I can't even remember the date...]
It didn't take long for Randy to become aware that she had no idea what Peter actually liked to eat, let alone anything else. It was easy to get the staples, but what sort of toilet paper or tissues did he prefer? Did he like chocolate biscuits with the cream in them? Was he allergic to anything. Did he hate fruit or salad? Did he like full fat milk or light? And what sort of cheese? There suddenly felt like there was eight different types of cheese in front of her as she stood in the chilled section staring blankly at the wall of dairy products. She chewed on her thumb nail, her light eyes trailing back and forth across the shelves of cheese. And butter! Did he like butter or margarine? She looked down at the list in her hand, which seemed simple at the time. She had scrawled down a few things while Peter was in the bathroom, and then he wanted to lie down, so it wasn't like she had time to double-check anything, even if it would have crossed her mind to do so, which it didn't.
She turned back to her sister with a shrug. "I give up. Can't I just feed him pizza and Chinese? Everyone likes pizza and Chinese," she said helplessly.
Mel gave her twin an amused smile as she just reached forward to pick up a block of cheese, and a tub of spread. Good, old fashioned, nondescript spread. It was probably debatable if it had anything dairy related in it at all, but it would do until Randy could get to know her new charge better. "You could, but then you'd probably stress about there not being enough vegetables. And have Matt on your back for not taking care of a guy properly. You know how he's all about eating properly even if he doesn't do it himself." She winked at her sister. "You're only stressing because you like him so much."
"He eats properly. He just also eats badly simultaneously. How he's not like Jabba the Hut is beyond me," Randy said, scrunching her nose up in frustration. She shot her sister a sheepish look. "Like you can talk, Liverpool Ball Girl. You like the footballer, too. You have covert ninja fucking with him, and then turned into non-ninja fucking and somehow managed to fly under the radar with Matt on that. Meanwhile, I get the third degree about the nurse because I think he's trying to work out if the guy is a serial killer and the injured arm and head is all a ruse to murder me dramatically."
Mel's cheeks warmed up as she nudged her sister in the arm. "I don't know what you're talking about! There's been no... okay, there's been a lot of non-ninja fucking. But can you blame me? He's hot! And he likes me. At least as a friend with benefits. I'm hardly going to look a gift ball in the mouth. And for a guy with a dodgy leg he is still something." Mel flicked her dark hair out of her eyes and raised her eyebrows. "Has Matt even seen Misery? Maybe you're the insane serial killer, and you hit him with your car on purpose so you could pull a Kathy Bates."
Randy laughed. "Yeah, but Matt's not his big brother. He's all crazy protective. Only, I am glad he knows just how much to push without interfering. I'm just curious if he'll ever work with Peter. They might hate each other, which would be really awkward. I haven't actually let him know I'm going to be staying at Peter's yet. I can't even explain why I offered to help. He just shouldn't be on his own and I don't think he's as close to his family as we are. It sucks when you're hurt and don't have someone to whine to." They came to a display of toilet paper at the end of one of the aisles. "Do you think he'll like this one? Do boys even have toilet paper preference, or is that a female thing? So, what's the story, then? Is he going back to England? How did you manage to get him to change his mind? I heard that his brother got out of hospital, but isn't back at work yet."
"Maybe they need to meet before they work together. Just like ripping a band-aid off. You know if Matt approves Mom's gonna have you married off in no time. At least she won't have the anti-nurse thing going on since Matt's a nurse. Two straight male nurses in one hospital... Who'd have thought? Are you planning on letting him know? And you offered to help because luuurve him, you want to kiiiss him. It does suck, and now he's got you. And me occasionally since you already warned him we're a package deal." Mel gave a shake of her head. "I don't think they like anything scratchy, but other than that... guy's probably don't give a shit. Well, not literally. Since that's the only thing they use it for. Yeah, apparently. I think my time's nearly up. He said he'd wait for Pat to come out of the hospital and be a bit more stable. I'm still not really sure how I changed his mind... I think it was the kissing him so he couldn't argue with me thing. And yeah, that's true. He's still at home getting some rest. His husband's looking after him."
Randy pointed with a thoughtful frown on her face. "Do you ever wonder that? If maybe a guy uses some paper after he pees? Like, even just a little square to finish the job off? Maybe just some guys do that? Or maybe just gay guys?" she mused, losing her train of thought for a moment. "I nearly killed him! He should hate me! But he doesn't hate me. Why doesn't he hate me? Would you hate a guy if he ran over you with his car? You would at least be a little bitter, right?" She threw some evil looking chocolate biscuits into the cart. "Why don't you just ask him to stay? Has anyone actually just outright asked him to stay? Have you met his brother? Matt says the guy has the really sweet rep at the hospital. Like every girl's favourite gay guy. I could be a fag hag. I would be an awesome one."
Mel scrunched her nose up in thought. "Don't they shake? I swear they shake before they zip up... There's no toilet paper near the urinals, it's only in the stalls for when they crap. At least in public toilets it is." She shrugged, and threw in an extra packet of chocolate biscuits for them to eat on the way back to Peter's apartment. She'd briefly seen the guy, and honestly had not seen a bitter bone in his body towards her sister. She'd seen some suspiciously affectionate bones even when he'd been close to passing out. "I have no idea, but I think he definitely has a major sweet spot for you. Clearly your amazing looks dazzled him to the point where he really didn't give a crap. And I think me hating the guy who hit me would depend on if he was cute, and if there were sparks. How can you hate someone that you just... connect with? Sometimes there really is no rhyme, or reason."
Mel shook her head. "I can't. It's not my place. If I ask him to stay he might think I want something more from him. Don't get me wrong, the sex is awesome and I love being able to bang his footballer brains out, but he's not my guy. I know it. Somewhere out there is my guy, just like somewhere out there is his girl. I suspect it might be the mother to his kids, but he's too hurt to acknowledge it. And no, not yet. Maybe the ninja-ing stopped, but we're hardly out in the open-open. His brother sounds super cool, though. You'd be a great fag hag, but I think he has one... Or maybe that's his husband. I mean his husband has a fag hag, not that he is one."
Randy shrugged. "I don't know. I just know Matt goes through way more toilet paper than a guy should. And I just thought some might like that extra cleanliness or whatever." She smacked her hand against her head. "Now I'm just thinking about shaking penises!" An old man walked past and sniggered at her, throwing her an amused look and she did have the decency to blush slightly. "It wasn't my good looks. He could hardly see me, he was concussed. I lay on the fricken road with him. Can you believe it? I felt terrible. I still feel terrible. I'm tapping into my guilt complex something fierce and I just don't know what to do to make it up to him. Then I had to subtlely let him know Matt was probably going to go all big-brother-guard-dog like he did with my last boyfriend. Only, I hope that, unlike the last guy, Peter doesn't fuck off never to be seen again. I still don't know what Matt said to the dude."
"So, who should ask him to stay? Someone should. Poor guy sounds like he just deserves someone to want him just because they want him. The twin doesn't count, because it goes without saying. He'll always want him and need him. Out of the whole mess, just sounds like the footballer drew the short straw. Everyone else got something out of the deal. The ex got the ex, the ex's ex gets a newborn and a gay play toy, if she's his fag hag. What does the footballer get? Loneliness and a fucked knee. Poor bastard. How do you know he's not your guy?"
Mel had to laugh as she watched her sister and the old man, then she slung her arm around her sister as they walked down the snack food aisle. "He is a guy. He probably just shits a lot," she said in a conspiratorial whisper. "Or maybe he gets bored, and starts playing with it, and then just flushes it away. Thinking about Peter's shaking penis?" Mel raised her eyebrows. "That is insanely cute and slightly crazy that you lay in the road with him. Maybe the fact you didn't freak out and run away was a sign that you were pretty special? You stuck around to make sure he was okay. There had to be a connection of some kind. So you're feeling guilty over hitting him, and then warn him about Matt? Are you sure you don't have the cold feet in this scenario? I have no idea either. I tried to find out for you, remember? It's one secret Matt's apparently going to take to his grave."
Mel bit her lip. "Maybe it should be his ex? Like... if she realises that she still loves him like crazy, and wants him to be a father to her kids? I feel bad for Cameron. Truth is I'd quite happily be his uncomplicated whatever, but I really don't think he is my guy. And probably because he... well, what would he like about me? No strings sex is one thing. You really only need a mutual attraction. Being someone's girl is totally different."
"What is the point in that? Matt has his odd moments, but he wouldn't do that, would he? I was just thinking, he is a nurse, but he's ultra aware of hygiene. I dunno! I just always wondered. It could be a lot worse and be a bloke who can't even use toilet paper properly, even to crap." Randy shuddered, scrunching her nose up. "And you have a point, he does eat a lot. He was hurt! I couldn't just let him lie there. I panicked, and maybe I'm still panicking. Really panicking. I haven't done the boyfriend thing in ages, just more the casual thing. What if I'm just not cut out for this? I offered to stay with him because I think his family is... estranged, or something. And I do care about him, sucks being alone when you feel like crap. What if it's just like that, what is it, Stockholm Syndrome? He just fancies me because I saved him, even if I was the one doing the hurting in the first place? His concussed head is just all confused or something?"
She tucked her hair back behind her ears. "The ex? The one who cheated on him and then took her ex back, breaking his heart? Maybe he just doesn't give a fuck what she wants?" she reasoned pointedly. "I would probably be doing exactly the same thing in his shoes. Seems like the whole friggen mess has been about what she wants, and what the bloke she went back to wants, to the fuck with what the pregnant chick and the footballer want. I would be flipping them the bird and telling them to get fucked. But then, I don't do getting hurt very well. You're fucking a celebrity international sports star and you still have self-esteem issues? Maybe you really are a lost cause," she said with a smirk.
"Isn't that what public toilets demonstrate frequently? Even girls apparently don't know how to use toilet paper when they're not in their own fucking toilet." Mel mirrored her sister's shudder. "How guys manage to keep eating that much is beyond me. We eat that much, and we get fat. Guys only get fat when there's beer involved. If you're not cut out for it, then be honest. I just think you're panicking for no reason. Nothing changes when you do the boyfriend thing other than you spend way more time together and maybe make some goo-goo eyes at each other. And I don't think you'd offer if you weren't cut out for it. Why would you put yourself in the position to look after him if you were a total lost cause? Stockholm Syndrome is when you're falling in love with your captor. You're not keeping him captive, right? It can't be Stockholm Syndrome! He's not confused. He's just dazzled by your crazy good looks. We are very pretty."
Mel shrugged. "She is carrying his babies. Allegedly. That's not something you can just say fuck off to. Or it shouldn't be. I just wanted him to smile so bad... He seemed like he definitely need to be happy, even for a few minutes. And just have someone to hold him." Mel bit her lip as she looked at her sister. "I can't help it! Why would he want to be fucking me? I know I pushed for it, but why me?! Not that I'm complaining. Really. He's... amazing. Just not my guy, and I need to stop any thoughts about him being my guy."
Randy scrunched her nose up. "Ugh, it's one thing to think about your brother on the loo, but it's a hundred times worse to think of random strangers. Besides, I'm not supposed to be thinking about things like toilets or I'll get all anxious if I have to do a number two when I'm staying at Peter's. Oh fuck! What if I have to? I don't want him knowing what I'm in there doing! That's embarrassing! If I keep turning the tap on, he'll think I'm weird and his living room seems awfully close to the bathroom!" She stuck the tip of her thumb in her mouth and started biting anxiously on the thumb nail. "I can do the flirt thing when it's nothing serious, you know? Not that I'm saying this is serious, but things like doing that at a guy's place is a really huge thing. It takes things to a whole new level. And hey, you know how he's all slinged up? He could hardly get his shirt on, do you think he's going to be okay in the bathroom himself? Maybe I should encourage him to call his brother? I think I'm going to suck at this. Matt's the nurse in the family, not me."
She chewed on her lip for a moment and then pulled them to the side. "I never asked, what was he like in bed? Because when we used to watch those games, I always used to perve on his ass and his ass makes him look like he would be extremely fuckable. Legs, too. But then, his twin is also apparently gorgeous, just in a more feminine way. Matty told me. If he's not your guy, who's guy is he?"
Mel stifled the laughter she could feel bubbling up inside her chest. "You're a freak, you know that? You're worse than me sometimes. Everyone does exactly the same thing in the toilet. You're not a freak for going. Maybe you should take a radio in there instead of turning on the tap, though. That's just wasting water. He'll get it. Same reason he'll expect you to understand that he needs to go to the toilet just like anyone else, too." Mel raised her eyebrows. "You can't just hold that in though! Not if you want your insides to be healthy. Don't you remember Matt's constant speeches? What else are you going to do? Catch a cab home every time it's a number two? You're sleeping at his place! Shit will happen. And I think he'll be okay in the bathroom. Guys are used to using one hand, aren't they? And maybe you shouldn't because the brother thing sounds like an awkward topic."
She fought to keep her cheeks from heating up as she smirked a little bit. "Fucking amazing, even if he's got a dud leg. He's... all man. And that ass is something else... Yeah, I heard that, too. So's the twin's husband, apparently. I don't know. Just someone when he's ready."
Randy squeezed her lips together. "I'd help him if he needed it, you know. I really would. It's just, I'm not used to this sort of thing. I'm used to having mates I can go to for a bit of fun, but other than that guy in my first year of college who I ended up realising has both heads up his very tight ass, I haven't ever really had a boyfriend. And I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm nutty. I can't seem to shut up around him. It's not that I'm nervous, I'm just trying to get all my thoughts out at once. And... well... I like taking care of him. I want to help people, but this is different."
She fanned herself a little. "Tell me about it. I used to perve on him watching the games. How could you not? Those shorts just hug in all the right places. How much would it suck if he never plays again? He's a natural. Knows how to handle his balls, that lad. So, why are you apprehensive? You think he should about-turn and give the baby momma a second chance, don't you?"
Mel pointed at her sister before bumping her with her hip. "You want to take care of him. You want him to be your boyfriend. I think you just answered all your own questions. Don't worry about talking like a crazy person. If he's fallen for you the rambling will be endearing and he won't want you to shut up. Alternatively he'll just kiss you a lot so you do shut up. And that can't be a bad thing, right? He's not butt ugly, right? You want him kissing you, don't you?"
"Like I said before. Maybe it should be his ex. She is the baby momma. What if he wakes up one day and regrets not giving it a chance? I'm still not the girl for him. And that's not a complaint! I'm loving being his friend with benefits. Just at some point those benefits have to end. I think if he never plays again he'll be even more broken than he is now."
"No one said anything about boyfriends!" Randy protested immediately and threw far too many packets of tea bags into the cart than could be healthy. "I hit him with my car. The least I can do is take care of him. And he's just... he's nice. Of course he's not butt ugly, he fucking hot. But this is all just... I dunno. I feel like a perve coming onto him. I hardly know him. This is the downside of being a psych major. You can't analyse yourself for fuck. I'm just a head case."
She wet her lips and fished a packet of mints out of her purse, taking one and then offering them out to her sister. "Has he had therapy? Just out of curiousity. I mean, it sounds like he could use some. He's had a lot of shit go down. Maybe if he offloads it all to someone, he can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Even having his twin sick would be a head fuck as it is. I wouldn't be able to function if you were sick and in hospital."
Mel laughed, and reached in to pull out a few of the boxes. "You said something about boyfriends! And you're right. For a psych major you really can't analyse yourself for fuck. Maybe you shouldn't, though. Maybe you just need to run with it. Has he even said that he doesn't want you coming on to him? Has he done anything to make you think he doesn't like you? He's letting you stay at his place while he's vulnerable. That's huge."
Mel took a mint before giving the packet back to her sister. "No, not that I know of. I can't remember him ever mentioning a shrink... Maybe you're right, though. It probably would do him some good to talk to someone. And me either. I'd be freaking out something chronic if you were in hospital."
Randy looked down into the full shopping cart in thought. "You're right. I need to just run with it because if I keep thinking about it, I'm going to go mental. If I start trying to slap labels on it left and right, I'll back right off from him. The least I can do is give him the benefit of the doubt. He's done that much for me, though hell only knows why. What if I'm just bad karma for him?" She shook her head and rubbed her fingers across her forehead. She was tired, she realised. That's why her head was screwy.
"Tell him to get some therapy. He's a guy, he'll probably deny needing it. But isn't the Scot a therapist? Maybe he could nudge in the right direction? Or you could talk to the twin. Or the twin's husband. Tell them you're worried and want to help because you know you aren't his one, but you want to help him find the person who is," she suggested with a shrug.
Mel slid her arm around her sister's shoulder, and leaned in to press a kiss to her temple. She could tell her twin was tired. "Maybe you two should try snuggling for a bit. He's probably exhausted, and just wants to chill. And you just need to give that brain of yours a break. You make me dizzy, and that's saying something. We're both queens at over-thinking this boy stuff. Even if you're better at taking tumbles with your friends for fun than I am."
Mel nodded, but she didn't commit herself to talking to any of them yet. She was still nervous to step into Cameron's world as far as his friends and family went. She'd barely met them while they'd been ninja fucking. Now she was going to try and interfere? What if it was something he didn't want, even from a friend? "It's a good idea, sis."
"Bullshit," Randy said with a smirk. "You're humouring me, but that's okay. Just remember, you want to help him. Sometimes you need to bite the bullet to help people. Why else would I be staying at a complete stranger's place? If I can do it, you can. And now? Home. I'm stuffed and I need chocolate. Lots of it."
Words: 4062
It didn't take long for Randy to become aware that she had no idea what Peter actually liked to eat, let alone anything else. It was easy to get the staples, but what sort of toilet paper or tissues did he prefer? Did he like chocolate biscuits with the cream in them? Was he allergic to anything. Did he hate fruit or salad? Did he like full fat milk or light? And what sort of cheese? There suddenly felt like there was eight different types of cheese in front of her as she stood in the chilled section staring blankly at the wall of dairy products. She chewed on her thumb nail, her light eyes trailing back and forth across the shelves of cheese. And butter! Did he like butter or margarine? She looked down at the list in her hand, which seemed simple at the time. She had scrawled down a few things while Peter was in the bathroom, and then he wanted to lie down, so it wasn't like she had time to double-check anything, even if it would have crossed her mind to do so, which it didn't.
She turned back to her sister with a shrug. "I give up. Can't I just feed him pizza and Chinese? Everyone likes pizza and Chinese," she said helplessly.
Mel gave her twin an amused smile as she just reached forward to pick up a block of cheese, and a tub of spread. Good, old fashioned, nondescript spread. It was probably debatable if it had anything dairy related in it at all, but it would do until Randy could get to know her new charge better. "You could, but then you'd probably stress about there not being enough vegetables. And have Matt on your back for not taking care of a guy properly. You know how he's all about eating properly even if he doesn't do it himself." She winked at her sister. "You're only stressing because you like him so much."
"He eats properly. He just also eats badly simultaneously. How he's not like Jabba the Hut is beyond me," Randy said, scrunching her nose up in frustration. She shot her sister a sheepish look. "Like you can talk, Liverpool Ball Girl. You like the footballer, too. You have covert ninja fucking with him, and then turned into non-ninja fucking and somehow managed to fly under the radar with Matt on that. Meanwhile, I get the third degree about the nurse because I think he's trying to work out if the guy is a serial killer and the injured arm and head is all a ruse to murder me dramatically."
Mel's cheeks warmed up as she nudged her sister in the arm. "I don't know what you're talking about! There's been no... okay, there's been a lot of non-ninja fucking. But can you blame me? He's hot! And he likes me. At least as a friend with benefits. I'm hardly going to look a gift ball in the mouth. And for a guy with a dodgy leg he is still something." Mel flicked her dark hair out of her eyes and raised her eyebrows. "Has Matt even seen Misery? Maybe you're the insane serial killer, and you hit him with your car on purpose so you could pull a Kathy Bates."
Randy laughed. "Yeah, but Matt's not his big brother. He's all crazy protective. Only, I am glad he knows just how much to push without interfering. I'm just curious if he'll ever work with Peter. They might hate each other, which would be really awkward. I haven't actually let him know I'm going to be staying at Peter's yet. I can't even explain why I offered to help. He just shouldn't be on his own and I don't think he's as close to his family as we are. It sucks when you're hurt and don't have someone to whine to." They came to a display of toilet paper at the end of one of the aisles. "Do you think he'll like this one? Do boys even have toilet paper preference, or is that a female thing? So, what's the story, then? Is he going back to England? How did you manage to get him to change his mind? I heard that his brother got out of hospital, but isn't back at work yet."
"Maybe they need to meet before they work together. Just like ripping a band-aid off. You know if Matt approves Mom's gonna have you married off in no time. At least she won't have the anti-nurse thing going on since Matt's a nurse. Two straight male nurses in one hospital... Who'd have thought? Are you planning on letting him know? And you offered to help because luuurve him, you want to kiiiss him. It does suck, and now he's got you. And me occasionally since you already warned him we're a package deal." Mel gave a shake of her head. "I don't think they like anything scratchy, but other than that... guy's probably don't give a shit. Well, not literally. Since that's the only thing they use it for. Yeah, apparently. I think my time's nearly up. He said he'd wait for Pat to come out of the hospital and be a bit more stable. I'm still not really sure how I changed his mind... I think it was the kissing him so he couldn't argue with me thing. And yeah, that's true. He's still at home getting some rest. His husband's looking after him."
Randy pointed with a thoughtful frown on her face. "Do you ever wonder that? If maybe a guy uses some paper after he pees? Like, even just a little square to finish the job off? Maybe just some guys do that? Or maybe just gay guys?" she mused, losing her train of thought for a moment. "I nearly killed him! He should hate me! But he doesn't hate me. Why doesn't he hate me? Would you hate a guy if he ran over you with his car? You would at least be a little bitter, right?" She threw some evil looking chocolate biscuits into the cart. "Why don't you just ask him to stay? Has anyone actually just outright asked him to stay? Have you met his brother? Matt says the guy has the really sweet rep at the hospital. Like every girl's favourite gay guy. I could be a fag hag. I would be an awesome one."
Mel scrunched her nose up in thought. "Don't they shake? I swear they shake before they zip up... There's no toilet paper near the urinals, it's only in the stalls for when they crap. At least in public toilets it is." She shrugged, and threw in an extra packet of chocolate biscuits for them to eat on the way back to Peter's apartment. She'd briefly seen the guy, and honestly had not seen a bitter bone in his body towards her sister. She'd seen some suspiciously affectionate bones even when he'd been close to passing out. "I have no idea, but I think he definitely has a major sweet spot for you. Clearly your amazing looks dazzled him to the point where he really didn't give a crap. And I think me hating the guy who hit me would depend on if he was cute, and if there were sparks. How can you hate someone that you just... connect with? Sometimes there really is no rhyme, or reason."
Mel shook her head. "I can't. It's not my place. If I ask him to stay he might think I want something more from him. Don't get me wrong, the sex is awesome and I love being able to bang his footballer brains out, but he's not my guy. I know it. Somewhere out there is my guy, just like somewhere out there is his girl. I suspect it might be the mother to his kids, but he's too hurt to acknowledge it. And no, not yet. Maybe the ninja-ing stopped, but we're hardly out in the open-open. His brother sounds super cool, though. You'd be a great fag hag, but I think he has one... Or maybe that's his husband. I mean his husband has a fag hag, not that he is one."
Randy shrugged. "I don't know. I just know Matt goes through way more toilet paper than a guy should. And I just thought some might like that extra cleanliness or whatever." She smacked her hand against her head. "Now I'm just thinking about shaking penises!" An old man walked past and sniggered at her, throwing her an amused look and she did have the decency to blush slightly. "It wasn't my good looks. He could hardly see me, he was concussed. I lay on the fricken road with him. Can you believe it? I felt terrible. I still feel terrible. I'm tapping into my guilt complex something fierce and I just don't know what to do to make it up to him. Then I had to subtlely let him know Matt was probably going to go all big-brother-guard-dog like he did with my last boyfriend. Only, I hope that, unlike the last guy, Peter doesn't fuck off never to be seen again. I still don't know what Matt said to the dude."
"So, who should ask him to stay? Someone should. Poor guy sounds like he just deserves someone to want him just because they want him. The twin doesn't count, because it goes without saying. He'll always want him and need him. Out of the whole mess, just sounds like the footballer drew the short straw. Everyone else got something out of the deal. The ex got the ex, the ex's ex gets a newborn and a gay play toy, if she's his fag hag. What does the footballer get? Loneliness and a fucked knee. Poor bastard. How do you know he's not your guy?"
Mel had to laugh as she watched her sister and the old man, then she slung her arm around her sister as they walked down the snack food aisle. "He is a guy. He probably just shits a lot," she said in a conspiratorial whisper. "Or maybe he gets bored, and starts playing with it, and then just flushes it away. Thinking about Peter's shaking penis?" Mel raised her eyebrows. "That is insanely cute and slightly crazy that you lay in the road with him. Maybe the fact you didn't freak out and run away was a sign that you were pretty special? You stuck around to make sure he was okay. There had to be a connection of some kind. So you're feeling guilty over hitting him, and then warn him about Matt? Are you sure you don't have the cold feet in this scenario? I have no idea either. I tried to find out for you, remember? It's one secret Matt's apparently going to take to his grave."
Mel bit her lip. "Maybe it should be his ex? Like... if she realises that she still loves him like crazy, and wants him to be a father to her kids? I feel bad for Cameron. Truth is I'd quite happily be his uncomplicated whatever, but I really don't think he is my guy. And probably because he... well, what would he like about me? No strings sex is one thing. You really only need a mutual attraction. Being someone's girl is totally different."
"What is the point in that? Matt has his odd moments, but he wouldn't do that, would he? I was just thinking, he is a nurse, but he's ultra aware of hygiene. I dunno! I just always wondered. It could be a lot worse and be a bloke who can't even use toilet paper properly, even to crap." Randy shuddered, scrunching her nose up. "And you have a point, he does eat a lot. He was hurt! I couldn't just let him lie there. I panicked, and maybe I'm still panicking. Really panicking. I haven't done the boyfriend thing in ages, just more the casual thing. What if I'm just not cut out for this? I offered to stay with him because I think his family is... estranged, or something. And I do care about him, sucks being alone when you feel like crap. What if it's just like that, what is it, Stockholm Syndrome? He just fancies me because I saved him, even if I was the one doing the hurting in the first place? His concussed head is just all confused or something?"
She tucked her hair back behind her ears. "The ex? The one who cheated on him and then took her ex back, breaking his heart? Maybe he just doesn't give a fuck what she wants?" she reasoned pointedly. "I would probably be doing exactly the same thing in his shoes. Seems like the whole friggen mess has been about what she wants, and what the bloke she went back to wants, to the fuck with what the pregnant chick and the footballer want. I would be flipping them the bird and telling them to get fucked. But then, I don't do getting hurt very well. You're fucking a celebrity international sports star and you still have self-esteem issues? Maybe you really are a lost cause," she said with a smirk.
"Isn't that what public toilets demonstrate frequently? Even girls apparently don't know how to use toilet paper when they're not in their own fucking toilet." Mel mirrored her sister's shudder. "How guys manage to keep eating that much is beyond me. We eat that much, and we get fat. Guys only get fat when there's beer involved. If you're not cut out for it, then be honest. I just think you're panicking for no reason. Nothing changes when you do the boyfriend thing other than you spend way more time together and maybe make some goo-goo eyes at each other. And I don't think you'd offer if you weren't cut out for it. Why would you put yourself in the position to look after him if you were a total lost cause? Stockholm Syndrome is when you're falling in love with your captor. You're not keeping him captive, right? It can't be Stockholm Syndrome! He's not confused. He's just dazzled by your crazy good looks. We are very pretty."
Mel shrugged. "She is carrying his babies. Allegedly. That's not something you can just say fuck off to. Or it shouldn't be. I just wanted him to smile so bad... He seemed like he definitely need to be happy, even for a few minutes. And just have someone to hold him." Mel bit her lip as she looked at her sister. "I can't help it! Why would he want to be fucking me? I know I pushed for it, but why me?! Not that I'm complaining. Really. He's... amazing. Just not my guy, and I need to stop any thoughts about him being my guy."
Randy scrunched her nose up. "Ugh, it's one thing to think about your brother on the loo, but it's a hundred times worse to think of random strangers. Besides, I'm not supposed to be thinking about things like toilets or I'll get all anxious if I have to do a number two when I'm staying at Peter's. Oh fuck! What if I have to? I don't want him knowing what I'm in there doing! That's embarrassing! If I keep turning the tap on, he'll think I'm weird and his living room seems awfully close to the bathroom!" She stuck the tip of her thumb in her mouth and started biting anxiously on the thumb nail. "I can do the flirt thing when it's nothing serious, you know? Not that I'm saying this is serious, but things like doing that at a guy's place is a really huge thing. It takes things to a whole new level. And hey, you know how he's all slinged up? He could hardly get his shirt on, do you think he's going to be okay in the bathroom himself? Maybe I should encourage him to call his brother? I think I'm going to suck at this. Matt's the nurse in the family, not me."
She chewed on her lip for a moment and then pulled them to the side. "I never asked, what was he like in bed? Because when we used to watch those games, I always used to perve on his ass and his ass makes him look like he would be extremely fuckable. Legs, too. But then, his twin is also apparently gorgeous, just in a more feminine way. Matty told me. If he's not your guy, who's guy is he?"
Mel stifled the laughter she could feel bubbling up inside her chest. "You're a freak, you know that? You're worse than me sometimes. Everyone does exactly the same thing in the toilet. You're not a freak for going. Maybe you should take a radio in there instead of turning on the tap, though. That's just wasting water. He'll get it. Same reason he'll expect you to understand that he needs to go to the toilet just like anyone else, too." Mel raised her eyebrows. "You can't just hold that in though! Not if you want your insides to be healthy. Don't you remember Matt's constant speeches? What else are you going to do? Catch a cab home every time it's a number two? You're sleeping at his place! Shit will happen. And I think he'll be okay in the bathroom. Guys are used to using one hand, aren't they? And maybe you shouldn't because the brother thing sounds like an awkward topic."
She fought to keep her cheeks from heating up as she smirked a little bit. "Fucking amazing, even if he's got a dud leg. He's... all man. And that ass is something else... Yeah, I heard that, too. So's the twin's husband, apparently. I don't know. Just someone when he's ready."
Randy squeezed her lips together. "I'd help him if he needed it, you know. I really would. It's just, I'm not used to this sort of thing. I'm used to having mates I can go to for a bit of fun, but other than that guy in my first year of college who I ended up realising has both heads up his very tight ass, I haven't ever really had a boyfriend. And I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm nutty. I can't seem to shut up around him. It's not that I'm nervous, I'm just trying to get all my thoughts out at once. And... well... I like taking care of him. I want to help people, but this is different."
She fanned herself a little. "Tell me about it. I used to perve on him watching the games. How could you not? Those shorts just hug in all the right places. How much would it suck if he never plays again? He's a natural. Knows how to handle his balls, that lad. So, why are you apprehensive? You think he should about-turn and give the baby momma a second chance, don't you?"
Mel pointed at her sister before bumping her with her hip. "You want to take care of him. You want him to be your boyfriend. I think you just answered all your own questions. Don't worry about talking like a crazy person. If he's fallen for you the rambling will be endearing and he won't want you to shut up. Alternatively he'll just kiss you a lot so you do shut up. And that can't be a bad thing, right? He's not butt ugly, right? You want him kissing you, don't you?"
"Like I said before. Maybe it should be his ex. She is the baby momma. What if he wakes up one day and regrets not giving it a chance? I'm still not the girl for him. And that's not a complaint! I'm loving being his friend with benefits. Just at some point those benefits have to end. I think if he never plays again he'll be even more broken than he is now."
"No one said anything about boyfriends!" Randy protested immediately and threw far too many packets of tea bags into the cart than could be healthy. "I hit him with my car. The least I can do is take care of him. And he's just... he's nice. Of course he's not butt ugly, he fucking hot. But this is all just... I dunno. I feel like a perve coming onto him. I hardly know him. This is the downside of being a psych major. You can't analyse yourself for fuck. I'm just a head case."
She wet her lips and fished a packet of mints out of her purse, taking one and then offering them out to her sister. "Has he had therapy? Just out of curiousity. I mean, it sounds like he could use some. He's had a lot of shit go down. Maybe if he offloads it all to someone, he can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Even having his twin sick would be a head fuck as it is. I wouldn't be able to function if you were sick and in hospital."
Mel laughed, and reached in to pull out a few of the boxes. "You said something about boyfriends! And you're right. For a psych major you really can't analyse yourself for fuck. Maybe you shouldn't, though. Maybe you just need to run with it. Has he even said that he doesn't want you coming on to him? Has he done anything to make you think he doesn't like you? He's letting you stay at his place while he's vulnerable. That's huge."
Mel took a mint before giving the packet back to her sister. "No, not that I know of. I can't remember him ever mentioning a shrink... Maybe you're right, though. It probably would do him some good to talk to someone. And me either. I'd be freaking out something chronic if you were in hospital."
Randy looked down into the full shopping cart in thought. "You're right. I need to just run with it because if I keep thinking about it, I'm going to go mental. If I start trying to slap labels on it left and right, I'll back right off from him. The least I can do is give him the benefit of the doubt. He's done that much for me, though hell only knows why. What if I'm just bad karma for him?" She shook her head and rubbed her fingers across her forehead. She was tired, she realised. That's why her head was screwy.
"Tell him to get some therapy. He's a guy, he'll probably deny needing it. But isn't the Scot a therapist? Maybe he could nudge in the right direction? Or you could talk to the twin. Or the twin's husband. Tell them you're worried and want to help because you know you aren't his one, but you want to help him find the person who is," she suggested with a shrug.
Mel slid her arm around her sister's shoulder, and leaned in to press a kiss to her temple. She could tell her twin was tired. "Maybe you two should try snuggling for a bit. He's probably exhausted, and just wants to chill. And you just need to give that brain of yours a break. You make me dizzy, and that's saying something. We're both queens at over-thinking this boy stuff. Even if you're better at taking tumbles with your friends for fun than I am."
Mel nodded, but she didn't commit herself to talking to any of them yet. She was still nervous to step into Cameron's world as far as his friends and family went. She'd barely met them while they'd been ninja fucking. Now she was going to try and interfere? What if it was something he didn't want, even from a friend? "It's a good idea, sis."
"Bullshit," Randy said with a smirk. "You're humouring me, but that's okay. Just remember, you want to help him. Sometimes you need to bite the bullet to help people. Why else would I be staying at a complete stranger's place? If I can do it, you can. And now? Home. I'm stuffed and I need chocolate. Lots of it."
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