Happy Here With You
Title: Happy Here With You
Author: Timelordshines
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness
Rating: 15
Words: 1535
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Characters belong to RTD and the BBC - I’m just borrowing them.
Written for love_bingo prompt "Love handles".
Author's note: This isn't the fic I meant to post for Ianto's birthday but I didn't get home from work until 9:30 today so didn't have time to finish the other one. Hopefully I'll post it tomorrow though. Happy Birthday Ianto.
Jack stood in front of the bathroom mirror looking at himself with a critical eye. He turned his head slowly to the side and brushed his hair back away from his temple, revealing the merest suggestion of grey. He frowned. Then wished he hadn’t as the lines seemed deeper than before. He rubbed his hand across his cheek. His face was definitely pudgier than he ever remembered it being. Too many doughnuts catching up with him.
He moved his gaze down. His shoulders still weren’t so bad, and when he raised his arm and flexed his muscles he was pleased to see he hadn’t lost much tone there. But then his gaze dropped lower, to his stomach. For the first time ever he was beginning to develop quite a paunch. So much for being able to ‘pinch an inch’ he thought wryly. He could pinch about three. And where had those love handles come from? He turned slightly to try and see his bum in the mirror. Was that bigger too? It was hard to tell. He pinched it. Still firm, thank god.
No, the main problem was his stomach flab. Far too many biscuits with his coffee and too many nights eating pure carbohydrates in the form of pizza and Chinese takeaways.
Jack realised that he could really do with loosing at least a stone in weight.
No wonder Ianto hadn’t been wanting to get physical with him anywhere near as much as normal lately. And the young man had recently started turning the light out before getting down to business as it were.
No wonder Ianto didn’t want him anymore, Jack thought, he was getting old and fat.
Ianto deserved some gorgeous, fit young thing.
At least, Jack thought, he had a quick, if somewhat painful, solution. But, as the saying goes, no pain no gain. And Ianto was worth it. He screwed the silencer to his gun, looked himself in the eyes in the mirror and raised the weapon.
Just as he squeezed his eyes shut and was about to squeeze the trigger he heard Ianto’s key in the front door.
Jack put the gun down on the side of the wash basin and quickly wrapped a towel around his waist before going out into the hallway to meet his partner.
“Ianto, I thought you were going to your sisters?”
“I was, but I had to turn back when I realised I forgot my phone. Have you seen it?”
“No, sorry.”
Ianto started walking through the house, trying to remember where he’d last had his mobile. He went into the bedroom where he found the phone in the pocket of last night’s jeans. On leaving the bedroom he glanced over at the open door to the en suite.
“Jack?” he shouted, “Why is your gun in the bathroom?” complete with silencer no less.
Jack came into the room, “Umm I don’t know?”
“Jack?” Ianto glared at him.
Jack never could lie to Ianto, especially when he was looking at him like that. “Well, it’s been such a long time since I died… I thought that maybe I should, you know… reset….”
Ianto’s face clouded over going dark as thunder. He didn’t shout, but instead spoke very quietly and deliberately, “I don’t have time for this right now. I promised Mica I would be at her birthday. When I get back, we need to talk. Don’t you dare kill yourself before I get back.” And with that he was gone, leaving Jack stunned, confused and hurt in his wake.
Jack roughly pulled on some trousers and a t-shirt. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Ianto that mad. He knew that his dying upset Ianto, but he hadn’t been expecting that reaction. Though to be fair he had meant to get it over with before the young man got home. He was even being considerate enough to do it in the bathroom where he could clean up easily so Ianto would never know. Well, he would know Jack had died when he saw that he was looking younger and fitter, but Jack would lie and pass it off as a weevil encounter gone bad or something.
Jack’s phone vibrating dragged him away from his thoughts. He pulled it out of his pocket and read the screen: Ianto.
He clicked to view the message; “I’m sorry. I handled that badly. We’ll talk later.”
He hit reply: “I’m sorry too. Don’t let it ruin Mica’s party. Talk later. x”
*******
Ianto opened the door apprehensively, unsure of his welcome. He walked through the house until he found Jack in the dining room, papers spread out across the table, absorbed in his reports. “Hi” said Ianto quietly as Jack looked up.
“Hey” Jack smiled.
“You want coffee?”
“Yes please.” Jack replied predictably, getting up to follow Ianto into the kitchen.
Ianto used the time it took to make the coffees to calm his nerves and prepare for the conversation neither of them wanted to have. He could sense Jack hovering nervously behind him which wasn’t helping his own anxiety. He handed Jack his coffee, making sure their fingers brushed, using the brief contact to both give and receive comfort.
“So… why?” he asked as they both sat down at the table.
Jack sighed, “I haven’t died for a while now. I know how much you hate it so I’ve been careful.”
“When you die, I’m always so scared that this time you won’t come back to me -that your luck will run out.” Ianto reached across and took Jack’s hand speaking softly, “Why were you going to kill yourself this morning? I know your immortality gets a bit much for you sometimes, but I thought, I hoped, you would talk to me about it? Do you really want to die? I had hoped that you were happy for now. With me. I mean, I know a time will come when I’m not enough for you, but not just yet, please?” a single, silent tear slid out from the corner of Ianto’s eye and he averted his gaze, looking down at the table. “If… if you really do want out… we can ask Owen, cryo-freeze you maybe…” Ianto swallowed hard, not wanting to contemplate what would happen if Jack said yes to his suggestion, but knowing he couldn’t be selfish enough to keep Jack alive trapped in this relationship against his will.
Jack turned his hand so that he could entwine his fingers with Ianto’s. “Ianto, look at me,” he said softly, waiting for the younger man to respond. “I am happy here with you. I don’t want to die.”
“Then why were you going to kill yourself?” Ianto wiped his eyes, puzzled.
Jack let go of Ianto’s fingers and wrapped his hand around his coffee mug. He fiddled uncomfortably with the cup, “because since I haven’t died I haven’t reset. I’m aging Ianto. I’m going grey. I’m getting fat. I’ve got love handles!”
Ianto smiled looking down into his coffee and shook his head. “Is that really what this is about? Are you that vain that you would kill yourself over it?”
“I’d come back. You’re young. You don’t understand,” Jack pouted.
“I do,” Ianto said, then added under his breath, “Believe me I do.”
He looked up at Jack “But it doesn’t matter to me what you look like. I thank my lucky stars that you just happen to be the sexiest man in Wales, but I’d love you whatever you look like. ”
“Only in Wales?” Jack asked with a smile, relief evident in his teasing.
Ianto just raised his eyebrow and smiled.
Jack laughed, but then his smile faded and he became serious. “But why have you been distant lately then? You say you’re tired, but you’ve never been too tired before. And what’s with turning the light off?”
Now it was Ianto’s turn to be uncomfortable. “It’s not you,” he mumbled.
“Ianto?”
“It’s not you,” he said more clearly. “I just don’t… feel comfortable in myself at the moment. I’ve taken up running again you know, whenever I have time to myself, if you have to work late. And you probably noticed I’ve stopped including myself in the breakfast pastry order. It’s just… I look at myself in the mirror and I wonder how I can ever be enough for you. I don’t know why you stay…”
Ianto looked like such a picture of abject misery that Jack couldn’t help himself. He got up and hurried around to Ianto’s side of the table, crouching next to the young man and taking his head in his hands, “I stay because I can’t imagine my life without you, Ianto. You are sexy, funny, caring, clever… everything I could ever ask for.” He kissed Ianto’s eyelids and the tip of his button nose “and I know a really good way we can both burn off some of those extra pounds.”
Ianto opened his eyes and met Jack’s smile with a watery one of his own.
Jack kissed his lips sweetly, and then stood up holding his hands out to Ianto. “Come on. Let me show you how much I still worship that gorgeous body of yours.”