First of many entries.
Hello for the first time. It's nice to be meeting you and really thank you for reading something as pointless as my rambling thoughts. Just to set the mood for you I am currently listening to Safety Suit- Life left to go. Watching my dog watch me from my bed across the room. All while trying desperately not to cry. Why you may ask? Well I'll tell you. My ex ,it always starts with an ex, has been suddenly head over heels for the model thin bartender he met after we broke up. I want nothing more than to hit him with a bus and watch him limp away everyday so why oh why does this bother me so? Still a question I have been asking myself for months now. The only answers I have come up with are A. I just don't handle rejection well (but who does?) B. I have never been model skinny and would almost kill to be even though I pretend to love my curves (Our little secret) C. I really would just love for him to be miserable for a while or finally D. Maybe I'm jealous his new relationship may actually work out while I did everything I possibly could to save ours and it just didn't happen which my luck it turns out he was just another asshole on my check list. It should really be no surprise to me I have had my lengthy list of them. Everything is always great at first and you are so twitterpatted that you are blinded by the honeymoon stage that you can not even see past it to the true personality. It's not until you are too invested that their true colors start showing through. You are the blame for everything all of the sudden so as you believe you try to fix things before they go under. But I am here as a prime example that 90% of the time when you are being blamed by this asshole it is truly him to blame.So he tears you down so much and uses all his tricks so you believe him and as your self esteem goes he stays longer. I am not referring to all men I may be quite the pessimist by now but have not completely given up hope so I just wanted to make that clear that this is not a man hater club I am trying to start. Just merely venting my string of horrible men and asking why do these men do such things to nice women like myself. I have a lot of love to give and when I love some one I really love them. So why the games and the hurt feelings played by both sides these days? Life is too short and there is no time for such things. Good Night for now.
Tibbie
Tibbie