(no subject)

[timelessantique]

I sit here wondering where my life has gone.
I'm growing up into such a woman, but I can't remember why.

I have so many things to talk about, but no one to talk about them to.
My supposed best friend apparently wants nothing to do with me.
I'm still scared to death everyday that my husband and I will one day divorce, because rates are so high, and our families just have a thing for short relationships.

My grandfather might die any day now. I'm so terrified, but I won't let anyone know.
I cry in silence, and pray that someone might here, because I'm too fragile to tell them myself.
I'm afraid his will might be written so someone unworthy may get his belongings.
I worry that my grandmother may die of a broken heart disease.

I'm so broken inside.
But I won't show it.
I can't show it.
And I don't know why.

I feel compelled to repay my grandfather the money I owe him, yet I know he would never even realize.
I want to be with him, and hold his hand.
But I'm too poor.
No one can retrieve me from the depression that I'm in currently.
I'm horrified of what may come, when "that day" comes....