Satan's Sister
Title: Satan's Sister
Fandom: RPS
Characters: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Prompt: 001. Beginnings.
fanfic100 table: here
Word Count: 9,358
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, angst, gore, mentions of sexual violence.
Summary: A recurring monster on the show turns out to be very real when it kidnaps Jared after he leaves set late one night. He's certain that he won't survive long enough for anyone to find him.
Author's Notes: This is for the spook_me challenge! Chosen monster and prompts are in bold. I managed to finish it, and I'm posting it early, so it might suck. Now I can focus on all the other shit I have to write!
“What do you think of this one?”
Jensen looks up from his belt buckle, fingers still working to fasten it. He’s still half naked, shirt waiting for him on the bed, and Jared’s sitting on the edge of it in nothing but his boxers, script for the day in hand. They’re both fresh and wet from the shower they took together, and Jensen’s still getting used to that idea. This is all so new, and while it’s easy with Jared, part of him still doesn’t know what to do with it. He’s still worried it’s all going to blow up in his face, because the butterflies he has in his stomach aren’t something he gets with just a casual fling.
“I don’t know,” he says, shrugging and reaching for his shirt, pulling it on over his head. He smirks a little when Jared looks back at him. “Didn’t think the devil’d have a family.”
“Yeah,” Jared snorts. “Satan’s sister? Kinda weird.” He stands and stretches, and Jensen tries not to stare at the play of muscles in his body. Jared relaxes and smiles, grabbing the jeans he’d tossed on the bed and pulling them on. “But it works. Any other writers and we’d be screwed, I think.”
-
One thing Jensen sort of hates about how fast-paced the show is, is how little time they have to actually meet the guest stars before they start shooting. His and Jared’s introductions to Sadie Campbell are barely mentions of names and handshakes before they’re rushed off to set. Jensen smiles when Jared happily blurts out, “That’s my dog’s name,” and is somewhat relieved to see that Sadie laughs kindly, not offended in the least. He turns to face her as they’re walking, continuing at the same pace backwards as they head to yet another wacky motel room.
“Trust me, coming from him, that’s the highest compliment,” he says, pointing at Jared, and the three of them laugh together just before things get serious. After all, scenes with Satan’s sister aren’t very bright and sunny. They’re tense and emotional, and Jensen’s happy to see that Sadie’s giving it all she’s got. She’s good, and Jensen gives her a lot of credit for taking on such a formidable role.
At the end of the day, they’re still friendly and a little closer, just like they always are with the guest stars they interact with, and Jensen gives her a hug, congratulates her on a job well done, and tells her he’ll see her tomorrow. She’s about ten different kinds of excited, still high from performing, even as Jensen feels thoroughly exhausted, but he knows how it is. If he and Jared weren’t so worked to the bone, he’d be pretty damn excited, too. She’s making her way into the acting world, breaking into the business, and it feels good. He’s happy for her.
-
“God, you can’t even wait, can you?”
Jared just smiles as he chews, and Jensen rolls his eyes. Jared’s standing there eating, waiting for Jensen to pile up his own plate so they can go back to their trailer for lunch.
“Hurry it up, slowpoke,” Jared says, swallowing his food, and reaching a foot out to kick lightly at Jensen’s shins. “I’mma be done by the time you even decide what you fuckin’ want.”
“Or,” Jensen starts, spooning some rice out onto his plate beside his chicken, “You could do the polite thing, and wait to eat until we’re both ready and sitting down.”
“Mmm,” Jared hums around another bite of food before swallowing it and shaking his head. “Sorry. Left my manners way back in San Antonio. Can’t go back and get ‘em now.”
“Sometimes, I doubt you’ve ever even had any,” Jensen quips, straightening up with his food in hand and lifting his chin in the air. “Okay. I’m ready.”
“Fuck you,” Jared laughs, kicking out at Jensen’s legs again, and he can see the amused glint in Jensen’s eyes. “I’m a fuckin’ gentleman.”
“You ever get that mouth washed out with soap?”
Jared turns towards the playful voice that sounded behind him and sees Sadie standing there. He’s once again reminded of just how big he is when he has to actually look down at her. That usually happens with the women on set, but he’s around Jensen so much that he still manages to forget that he’s sort of huge. Sadie’s petite, standing there with her hands on her hips, her bright blue eyes standing out as she smiles at him, dark hair cascading down her shoulders. He smiles back at her.
“I’m sorry ma’am.” He nods down to her, lowering his head a bit. “I usually don’t use such harsh language in front of a lady.” He hears Jensen snort behind him and reaches a foot back, but Jensen kicks it down before he can manage a third hit. Sadie sees the exchange and laughs.
“You two really are fun,” she says, turning and grabbing a plate for her own lunch. “I mean, everybody says so, but…it’s nice being here. I’m glad I got this for my first real gig.”
“This is home for us,” Jensen says, stepping up beside Jared and shrugging. “We may as well make it comfortable.”
“Ready for your big scene later?” Jared asks, and he feels for Sadie when she starts looking nervous and unsure of herself. “Hey, hey,” he says, not waiting for her answer and leaning forward to nudge her a bit with his elbow. “You’ll be fine.”
“Thanks,” she says, doing her best to smile a little, but he can tell she’s got butterflies flitting around in her stomach now, and he knows the feeling all too well, not surprised to see her settling for a small roll and a bit of fruit for lunch. “Guess I’ll go prepare myself. Enjoy your lunch.”
“You too,” Jared answers, tempted to jinx Jensen for saying it the same time as him, but passing on the opportunity.
“Poor girl,” Jensen says after she leaves, and Jared follows him as he starts walking back to their trailer. “She’s got a big day ahead of her.”
-
“Cut!”
The scene is over, the big showdown, and if Lucifer was made to be sympathetic on this show, his sister has even more emotion to show. She’s a wreck, and she hides it until it becomes painfully obvious, and Sadie gives it all she’s got. It makes Jensen’s job easier, Jared’s too, acting alongside her, and Jensen watches her when she’s done. He sees her trying to compose herself, trying to abandon the character and just be normal again, but she’s struggling. Jensen knows the feeling all too well, remembering the times Jared has wrapped him up in a hug and held him while he cries Dean out of his system. He would feel stupid and weak in those situations if it wasn’t Jared soothing him, taking care of him. Jared always makes everything seem okay, normal. He never makes Jensen feel like less of a man in his more vulnerable moments.
Jensen frowns over at Jared before making his way to Sadie, bending a bit to get closer to her level and gently wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
“It’s okay,” he says quietly, and he sees her eyes squeeze shut, her resolve slipping a little. He doesn’t wait for a response, just pulls her in for a hug and wraps his arms around her. “You did a real good job, Sadie,” he says, rubbing her back a little. “I’m proud of you.”
He feels her sob against him, her body shaking, and he just hugs her tighter, hoping she feels as safe as he does with Jared when he does it, enough for her to let it all out. He turns his head when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye and smiles a little when he sees Jared stepping up beside him.
“Awesome scene, Sadie,” Jared says, placing a hand on her back. He purposely slides it over Jensen’s a bit before slipping off and settling over Sadie’s shirt, and Jensen’s smile grows wider, warmth flooding his chest. Jared looks at him for a moment, and Jensen knows what he wants to ask without him ever speaking. He nods back to him, giving his approval, and Jared’s expression brightens a little, his tone lighter and a bit more playful as he tries to cheer Sadie out of her character’s depression. “You know, if you want to celebrate a job well done, we’re going out tonight with some of the crew guys. We always have a fun night out on the town. What d’ya say?”
Jensen feels Sadie’s breath hitch a few more times, and they both allow her a few more moments of silence, patiently waiting. He lets his arms fall away when she starts to pull back, wiping at her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, and Jensen squeezes her shoulder a bit.
“Don’t be. It happens to me all the time. Just one of the wonderful perks of being Dean Winchester on an almost daily basis.” She laughs, and Jensen’s glad to see her bouncing back, reverting back to herself.
“I’d love to,” she says then, pushing her hair back behind her ears and smiling, her eyes still red and puffy. “Thank you.”
-
Jared’s happy to see Sadie having a good time chatting and boozing it up with them and the crew, but he’s also kind of dying to get out of the bar. He feels a little bit bad about feeling that way, since he’s the one who invited Sadie out with them. But Jensen’s next to him, and they’re both drinking, and Jared’s starting to wish he could scoot a little closer to Jensen. He’s starting to wish he could touch him, maybe just lean on him a little. And then he’s starting to wish he could grope him, kiss him and grind all up on him until they both decide that being naked is the way to go. And that’s kind of a sign that he should be leaving, before he drinks more and makes a scene. Because watching Jensen drink from a bottle really isn’t helping things.
He’s pretty sure Jensen notices the way he’s watching him drink, because he’s at the point where he can’t help staring intently. Jensen puts his bottle down and smirks at him, leaning close and whispering “follow my lead” before nonchalantly standing and heading down the dark hallway in the back to the bathrooms. Jared’s hard in an instant, knowing what Jensen wants, and he spends an agonizing few minutes shooting the shit with Sadie and the crew, before he manages to politely excuse himself and head back towards Jensen, hoping his erection isn’t as obvious as it feels.
He hasn’t even made it to the bathrooms, just out of sight in the dark hallway, when Jensen grabs him, pushing him up against the wall and grinding his hard dick against him, mashing their lips together. Jared’s gasp of surprise is cut off by a helpless moan, and he can’t keep his eager tongue from exploring Jensen’s mouth, his hips jolting forward against Jensen’s body.
“See somethin’ you like out there?” Jensen whispers in his ear, chuckling, and Jared grins, letting his head fall back against the wall as Jensen licks and nips at his neck.
“Not really,” he says, trying to keep from panting or sounding too high-strung. “Just some asshole who can’t hold his liquor.” Jensen laughs against his skin, and Jared feels his blood rise at the warm puffs of breath there. “This is pretty risky, Jen,” he teases, and he’s still sober enough to feel just a little bit nervous. “We could get caught.” Jensen’s licking a stripe up his neck with confidence.
“We’re not gonna get cau-”
“Oh!”
Jared freezes, feels Jensen stiffen against him, and he closes his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and turning his head towards the voice he just heard, wishing it was all an illusion somehow. But Sadie’s standing there, cheeks flushed, hand cupped over her mouth, her body tense, as if it’s stuck in fight-or-flight mode.
“I-I’m sorry,” she finally manages, her hand slowly lowering itself down to her side. “I, um…I didn’t know you were…”
“Sadie,” Jared says, and it’s a little bit panicked, because he doesn’t know what to do, here. Nobody knows about them, not yet, and if word gets out…
“Uh, Sadie?” Jensen’s straightening up, turning towards Sadie but having a hard time looking her in the eyes. “I’m…I’m sorry this happened, but we…We haven’t…really…told anybody…”
“Oh…Oh!” Sadie says, as if she’s just realizing what Jensen’s getting at, and she starts shaking her head immediately. “No, no, no, you don’t…You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t tell anybody, it’s…It’s fine. Really.” She offers them a smile, backing away. “I honestly don’t even remember what happened.” Then she’s gone, heading back for the bar, and Jensen turns back into Jared and lets his head drop to his chest, heaving a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen apologizes, straightening again and looking up at Jared. “That was stupid. I should’ve been more careful.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jared says. But there’s something that hits him, something he doesn’t like when Jensen uses the word “stupid.” He’s not quite sure what it is, and he ignores it, even though he can’t quite shake it.
-
“Thank you both, for everything,” Sadie says on her very last day, and Jared hugs her just after Jensen does.
“Thank you,” he replies, smiling at her. “It’s been a pleasure.”
And just like that, just like the majority of the guest stars they’ve had on the show, she’s gone, and it’s back to just them: Jensen and Jared.
“You think she’ll tell anybody?” Jensen asks, and Jared just shrugs.
“She hasn’t so far.”
Jensen’s nervous, worried, and Jared can’t blame him. He is, too. It’s not even a matter of fear or shame. He would have no problem admitting his sexuality, if it weren’t for the media storm that would follow it. That’s what he doesn’t want. And it’s not just the negativity, either. It’s just the whole thing, in general. For about five years they’ve been filming this little show up in Vancouver with a cult following that most people ignore, and he’s been lucky enough to keep his anonymity, for the most part. But one word about sleeping with another man (his co-star, no less), and suddenly everyone gives a shit and wants to find out more about him? Fuck that. Besides, he’s not even sure if he and Jensen are…
He doesn’t know what they are. Neither of them does. They kind of just started this thing, and they haven’t really talked about it. Which Jared can guess is why, even though he feels just as nervous as Jensen when it comes to Sadie knowing about them, he feels a bit resentful of Jensen’s attitude about the whole thing.
They still don’t talk about it. Jensen wraps early and has a splitting headache, so Jared tells him to go home, take the dogs, and have Clif drive him. He can always get a cab later. Jensen looks at him, looks like he wants to talk, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just says “see you at home,” and that’s that.
It’s probably because of that, and how late he stays on set, that his mood isn’t the best when he leaves. He walks for a bit to clear his head, get some exercise, actually enjoy the cold, crisp air of Vancouver and be a little active. He thinks he’ll walk for a bit before calling the cab, even though it’s late. He can handle it.
That’s what he thinks, at first. But as he walks, he realizes just how late it is, just how dark it is. He feels a little isolated, and it just seems way too quiet. He can see his breath puffing out in front of his face, and he laughs a little bit, nervously, because he can’t be thinking about ghosts right now. The show can’t be getting to him that much.
But it is. He can see by the light of the moon, but the shadows from the buildings he’s passing are overwhelming, and he can’t help but feel like they’re creeping up on him. He tries to walk faster, following the rhythm of the steps in his brain. The hairs on the back of his neck are standing up, his mind working the rhythm out to “creep, shadow, creep,” and that’s when he pulls out his phone, hurriedly heading for the corner, where he can at least be under a streetlight.
Pain explodes between his shoulder blades before he can get there, and his mouth opens on a silenced cry, the breath knocked out of him as he falls to the ground, his cell phone skittering along the pavement. He panics, his heart pounding hard and his mind racing as he scrambles to turn around and face his attacker. He sees nothing, and tries to stand up, but then a blow comes from behind him, against the back of his head. He’s reeling from the pain, and another hit comes from the side before he can react. He’s only dimly aware of his fall to the pavement before he feels himself slipping away, into unconsciousness, Jensen’s name whispered on his lips.
-
He wakes up slowly, groggy and aching. He’s sitting, head hanging down, and as he tries to lift it up, he groans in pain, feeling it light up between his shoulders and in his head. He feels a pull at his shoulders, feels something behind his back, and realizes that he’s tied to something, hands bound behind it.
That’s when his head snaps up, and he ignores the pain that brings, heart hammering in his chest as his breaths come quicker. He doesn’t know where he is. He tugs at his bonds, feels rope digging into his wrists, and his fear spikes. He tries to tamper it down, tries to take deep breaths but he can’t. Wherever he is, it’s pitch black. He can’t see anything, and when he struggles some more, he feels that whatever he’s tied to is rounded, kind of like a pipe. For a moment, he closes his eyes, tells himself that this is all a nightmare, that he’s just dreaming, and all he has to do is calm himself down and wake up. This will all be over when he opens his eyes again.
But it isn’t. He’s still trapped, still bound in darkness, his head and back throbbing, and he can feel blood drying on his forehead. He hears the sound of water dripping in a puddle somewhere, and maybe rats scurrying around the floor, and that’s when he realizes where he is. He can smell it. He’s in a sewer. He shivers in the damp and the cold, and he can’t help the tears that spring to his eyes. He blinks them back, tries to close his eyes over them, and continuously swallows over the lump in his throat. He just keeps thinking something has to happen. Someone has to show up, someone has to save him. There has to be a way out of this that he isn’t thinking of. He feels a bit of a twinge in his head, and figures it’s from the blows he suffered, and he wonders just how badly he’s been hurt, hoping it isn’t too serious.
“Oh, good, you’re awake.”
Jared jolts, hearing the voice just a split second before he hears the sound of someone striking a match and a flame dances in the darkness. A candle is lit, and then another, until the whole area around him is just visible in dim light. He knows that the voice he heard is feminine, but he can’t believe what he sees when his captor is finally there, standing right in front of him.
“Sadie,” he whispers, hardly able to believe it even as he says it. She stands there and smiles at him, more sinister than the smile he remembers, and he thinks again that he must be-
“You’re not dreaming,” she says, interrupting his train of thought, and that’s when he feels the twinge in his head again. There’s something different about it, something not related to his injuries, and he can’t figure out what it is until he hears her voice in his head. This is very real.
“What?” Jared breathes out, shaking his head as if to clear it. He can feel her in there, a presence in his mind that he can’t expel, and it brings his panic to a new level.
“Wow,” Sadie laughs, shaking her head at him. “You’re really a mess over this, aren’t you?” It’s then that Jared hears a familiar ring tone, Sadie pulling his cell phone from the front pocket of her jeans. She looks at it, sees the name on the display, and smiles. Jensen, he hears in his brain, and he shivers at the feel of that voice, that tone. She kneels down in front of him and wraps a hand around his throat. He gasps as she turns her wrist a certain way, feels a strain in his neck. It hurts, and there’s a strength in her that’s just as unexplainable as her telepathy. Say anything, and I’ll break your neck.
“Hey, man,” she says out loud as she answers the phone, and Jared feels his blood run ice cold. She’s using his voice, a perfect replica, and a rampant, questioning fear runs through his brain before pain sears through it, and all coherent thought ceases. He barely gasps, and all he can manage to process is the conversation with Jensen on the phone. “Yeah, I just left not too long ago,” he hears himself say, even though he isn’t the one speaking. “I called for the cab, it should be here any minute. I’ll be home soon. Yeah. Yeah, alright. Okay, bye.”
Sadie ends the call and releases him, and his thoughts flood back to him. His chest heaves as he tries to breathe through his fear, and he’s shaking his head back and forth before he even realizes it, still thinking that this can’t be real. It can’t be real.
“You never learn, do you?” Sadie says, and she tsks and smiles at him, as if she pities him. “This is real.”
Still smiling, she reaches a hand up to her cheek. He watches as her nails and fingertips find purchase in the skin there, hears the disgusting squelch of blood and soft tissue, and then she’s pulling the skin away from her face, blood and muscle revealed as her smile finally falters and she drops half of her face onto the floor, a pile of live, soaked skin right beside him. He looks down at it, can’t help it, despite the lurch of his stomach, and he feels the bile rising up as he looks back at her, half of her smile returning.
He heaves, his body trying to pull forward but not getting far, still bound to the pipe behind him. He turns his head to the opposite side of the pile of skin next to him and vomits, the liquid burning the back of his throat and even the inside of his nose as his eyes tear up again. He’s never seen anything like this in real life. Then again, things like this aren’t supposed to be real. Shapeshifters aren’t supposed to be real.
“So you know what I am,” Sadie says, and he’s still heaving violently when he hears the distinct sound of the other half of her face being peeled away. “I guess you should by now. Supernatural’s given you a lot of info, hasn’t it? Of course, we’re much more powerful than even Mr. Kripke has imagined.”
He doesn’t answer her, and his stomach has finally settled, but he’s still shaking as a reaction. He refuses to look towards her again, and even if staring at his own puke isn’t ideal, it’s better than what he’ll see if he turns his head. He’s not so sure he can hold back against round two, the smell of his vomit and her blood mixing in his nostrils. He can hear the sound of her clothing dropping to the floor, exposing more of her skin so she can tear it all away, and he suddenly starts dry heaving.
“Man,” she laughs, and it hurts to hear, because his head is pounding. “You’re no Sam Winchester, are you? Pretty pathetic, if you ask me. Your character can handle a lot more than you can.”
He’s trembling, and everything hurts. The strain of being sick hasn’t helped the pain from his previous injuries, his head and back feeling like they’re on fire. He leans back against the pipe, already exhausted, and closes his eyes, trying to somehow wish himself away from here, and still hoping to wake up from this nightmare. It’s all too much.
“I’m gonna need your clothes.”
Jared’s head snaps up, eyes flying open, when he hears his own voice again, and he swears his heart stops with the dread that settles in his chest when he sees himself staring back at him. He’s standing there, every muscle and hair in place, looking down on him. It’s more than frightening, and he wonders how many people have ever been this intimidated by themselves.
“I’m kinda tied up right now,” Jared rasps, his voice hoarse from all the fucking puking he’s done, and even he’s surprised by his smartass response. He’d barely even thought about it before he said it, and he wonders if maybe he’s more like Sam than he realizes.
“So clever,” the shifter taunts, reaching for the jacket that Sadie had worn and drawing a knife out of it. Jared stiffens, and the shifter smiles back at him. “Don’t worry. I’m just cutting the rope.” He leans down, and Jared feels tension around his wrists before they’re loose and free. He tries to get to his feet and lunge at the shifter, but he’s already hurt and weak, and this other version of himself is freakishly stronger than he is, jamming him back against the pipe. He cries out at the pain in his back, along his spine, and the shifter chuckles in his ear. “You of all people should know that we’re stronger than any normal human.” You can’t fight me. “Take off your clothes.”
It’s humiliating, undressing and being undressed by the shifter when he gets too impatient with Jared’s hesitancy and refusal. He’s left exposed, naked in the dirt and damp of the sewer, and then the shifter is putting his clothes on and forcing him back down, sitting him down in filth and tying him back up. He’s freezing cold, to the point where his teeth are actually audibly chattering, and he finally manages a question through all of the shivering.
“What do you want with me?” There’s a beat of silence, and Jared forces himself to speak again, even if his voice does break with emotion. “Why don’t you just kill me?”
“I want your life,” the shifter replies, kneeling in front of him and staring back at him. “I want to be you. You, with your perfect life, your perfect little career, and all your adoring fans.” He smiles, and it’s evil, menacing, and Jared isn’t used to seeing that look on his own face. “And you have Jensen. You get to be with him, all the time. I want that. I want him.”
“No,” Jared blurts out immediately, futilely struggling against his bonds as terror spikes through him. He can’t do this. He can’t be trapped here. He can’t let anything happen to Jensen. Not to Jensen. “No, please, don’t hurt him! Please. Just leave him alone. You kill me if you want,” he says, his voice trembling with the fear of dying alone, but he still means what he says. “Just don’t hurt him.”
“Hurt him?” The shifter laughs, and Jared feels a chill run down his spine. “I have plans for him.”
And at that moment, it’s like a switch has flipped in Jared’s brain. He’s suddenly seeing what the shapeshifter is envisioning, and it’s Jensen, naked and writhing beneath the wrong version of him. Anger flares throughout Jared’s body, and he pulls at his restraints again, muscles bunching and tensing with the effort to break free.
“Don’t you fucking touch him,” Jared growls, and he hears the shifter chuckle again before the scene changes. Jensen’s still naked beneath him, but this time he’s not ready, not even willing, and Jared suddenly feels the urge to vomit again at Jensen’s pain, his cries, his desperation. “NO!” Jared shouts, practically screams, and he’s fighting against the rope so much and so hard that it’s beginning to cut into his wrists. They’re being scraped raw, close to bleeding, but Jared doesn’t care. Not now. His vision clears, and he’s once again staring up at himself, grinning down at him. He’s never felt so much hate for anyone, and the fact that it’s himself is fucking with his head, but not putting any kind of a damper on his anger. “You do that to him, and I’ll fucking kill you!”
“You could do it if you wanted to,” the shifter says, ignoring him and lifting his arms, his fists, and flexing, almost in awe. “You could do it on your own. Jensen’s strong, too, but compared to you? With this body, you could do whatever you wanted to him, and he wouldn’t be able to stop you.”
“I would never hurt him,” Jared says, his voice shaky as he swallows around a lump in his throat. “Not like that. Not ever.” He’s forgotten all about his nudity, all about the cold and his injuries. All he can think about is Jensen and what might happen to him. How Jensen wouldn’t even see it coming, because it would be him doing it. The lump in his throat gets bigger, and Jared can barely breathe.
“You’re so sweet,” the shifter says, teasing. “And the reason why I can’t kill you yet, is because I need you,” he explains. “I need to become you. You remember don’t you? I need to take your thoughts, your memories. These things take time.”
Jared doesn’t respond, doesn’t even have time to, before he feels the shifter’s presence in his brain increase rapidly, the pain he’d felt before when he was being kept quiet during the conversation with Jensen on the phone paling in comparison to this. He can’t think, has no control over his body, and he convulses as the intensity of the burning in his skull ratchets up a few notches, his vision going white, then red before his eyes roll back in his head. He’s still conscious, but barely, and he can feel things being pulled from him as an alien sound suddenly fills his ears. Something tells him that that sound is him, that he’s screaming in the agony he feels, and the only independent thought that he can process now is that he’s going to die. This is going to kill him.
The pain tapers off slower than the way it had started, and Jared’s head falls forward. He’s slowly coming back to himself, but he almost doesn’t want to, because it hurts. He can taste blood, and he can feel that he bit his tongue while his mind was under attack. He’s panting, half dazed, and he hears a grunt of pain before he looks up and sees that the shifter has also been temporarily weakened by the process, bent over and holding his head in his hands. Jared can feel himself slipping away, moving closer and closer to unconsciousness.
“See you tomorrow night,” he hears the shifter say, and then the candles are blown out and he’s plunged into darkness.
-
When Jared wakes up again, he doesn’t know how much time has passed or what time of day it is. He can’t see anything in the sewer, and he’s shivering again, parts of him almost feeling numb. He thinks of Jensen, and he struggles again, figuring it can’t hurt to move and get some warmth flowing through his body, anyway. It frustrates him when he doesn’t make any progress, except for cutting into his wrists even further. They burn, and they’re slick with blood, and he still can’t slip out of the rope looped and tied around them. His brain feels free and clear of the shifter’s presence, and he’s not sure if that’s better or worse, now. That was at least a bit of a distraction from this hell, and it kept him from seeing the full reality of the situation. He takes a deep breath and screams as loud as he possibly can.
“HELP!”
His own voice echoes around him, and he coughs, his throat dry and raw. He’s thirsty, cold, and alone. Completely alone. He tries to call for help again, and his shout gets cut off earlier with another cough and echo, and he doesn’t try to fight the tears this time. His chest heaves, and he sobs in the darkness, hot tears spilling down his cold cheeks. He’s never been so scared, so hopeless and useless. He could die down here, a shapeshifter taking his place, and no one would know.
You miss me? sounds in his brain just before he hears footsteps. The shifter has taken up residence in his mind again, and the candles are being lit, his own form being lit up in the darkness. “How are we holding up?” The shifter holds up the match he’s been using and blows it out, dropping it to the ground and smiling. “Crying again? Never thought you’d be such a big fucking baby.” Jared doesn’t respond, doesn’t know how, but there’s only one thought running through his brain, and the shifter picks up on it. “Fucked your boyfriend last night,” he says, and Jared tenses and shakes his head.
“No,” he whispers, looking away. “No, you’re lying. You’re lying.”
“You think?” The shifter moves out of Jared’s peripheral vision and then returns with a thin blanket, throwing it over him. Jared’s body moves into the feel of the blanket, desperate for the warmth it offers. “Can’t have you dying on me just yet. I still need you.”
“What did you do to him?” Jared asks, even though he isn’t sure he really wants to know. But part of him hopes that Jensen knows somehow, and that he outsmarted the shifter.
“I already told you,” the shifter replies. “And I didn’t even have to force him. He’s a slut, you know.”
“You shut your fucking mouth,” Jared spits, seething.
“Such a whore for cock,” the shifter laughs, unaffected by Jared’s anger. “And you know something?” Jared leans back as far as he can, head against the pipe behind him, when the shifter crouches down in front of him, looming in close. “He hasn’t even noticed. He can’t tell the difference between you and me. And you wanna know why? Because he doesn’t care.”
“Shut up,” Jared hisses, closing his eyes and ignoring the way the shifter is trying to manipulate the thoughts in his head. “It’s not true.”
“But it is,” the shifter continues, speaking calmly. “What, you think he loves you?” Jared tries not to think about it, tries not to admit the feelings he hasn’t even admitted to himself yet, but he can’t help it here and now, when Jensen’s being threatened. “Oh, you poor bastard. No one ever taught you the difference between love and fucking? Because that’s all Jensen wants from you.” Jared’s beginning to feel hollow, but he fights against it.
“No,” he breathes, shaking his head again.
“Wouldn’t I know?” the shifter asks gently, as if it’s trying to let him down easy, and he hates it even more. “You know what I can do. I’m in your head right now. What makes you think I can’t get into Jensen’s? See what he really thinks about you?”
“He’s my best friend,” Jared says, finally opening his eyes to look back at the shifter, and it comes out more pathetic than he means it to.
“He thinks you’re an annoying little shit,” he says, and Jared somehow feels that like it’s a blow to the chest. “You think he’s laughing with you, but he’s really laughing at you. You’re a fucking clown to him. But he’s okay with that, because it makes him look better. He is better. He’s the better actor, the better professional. And next to you, he looks fucking Oscar worthy. And while he’s got the opportunity to, he may as well fuck you, because it’s the one thing you’re good for, and he gets off on it. He couldn’t care less about you.”
“Don’t,” Jared starts, choking on his words, his heart dropping. But he doesn’t get much further than that when the shifter reaches inside his mind again. His body snaps tight, head smacking back against the pipe as he screams in pain, unable to see or think as the shifter takes what it wants again.
-
The blanket’s gone when Jared wakes up again, and he realizes that the shifter is doing the bare minimum to keep him alive until he doesn’t need him anymore. He already feels weaker, like the life is somehow being drained out of him, and there’s nothing he can do about it. He’s going to die here. He thinks of Jensen, hopes he’s okay, and then thinks of what the shifter said about him. He closes his eyes, since he can’t see anyway, and takes a deep breath. He keeps thinking that it can’t be true, that Jensen wouldn’t think that, but the shifter’s got him wondering about it, his feelings more hurt than he would care to admit. What if it is true?
Jared’s throat is so dry, he can barely swallow now. He’s sure he’s dehydrated. He threw up everything in his system, screamed himself raw, and he hasn’t been given any water since he’s been taken. He thinks he should be hungry, but he isn’t, even though his stomach feels so empty. He does feel the urge to pee, and wonders what happens when he has to use the bathroom. He supposes it wouldn’t make much difference if he just went right here, since he’s already sitting in filth, but he’d prefer to not be steeped in his own urine.
He’s forced to when the shifter does nothing to help him with his problem, just tells him about how he held Jensen down, how Jensen resisted, and Jared hopes like hell that it isn’t true. The shifter takes from him again before he leaves, and that’s when Jared loses it, only aware of the warmth flowing between his legs after he’s done convulsing, when his vision returns to normal, and just before he blacks out again.
-
“You’re lucky,” the shifter says when he returns again. “I think this will be the last of it. I’m just about done with you.”
Jared just stares, at the shifter and at the lit candles. He can feel his heart pumping throughout his whole body, can feel himself panting heavily, though he’s not sure why. He’s not as cold as he was, but the warmth he feels doesn’t feel right to him. He’s so tired, his legs and arms are tingling, hands almost numb in their restraints, and his head is already pounding. He’s sure the shifter is right. He’s sure he won’t survive another bout with his mind. This is it. He’s going to die, and he somehow can’t feel enough to fear it. All he wants to do is sleep. He closes his eyes, preparing himself for it, picturing Jensen, as much as it hurts him now.
“He doesn’t care about you,” the shifter says, and the image vanishes from Jared’s mind, the shifter already in control. “He won’t miss you. No one will. You’re nothing to him. All he needs is me.”
The pain is worse this time, and it’s just spelling out the end to Jared. He thinks he’s screaming again, though he doesn’t know how he’s able to with how dry he feels. It’s almost over now.
But instead of tapering off like it usually does, the pain just suddenly vanishes, and Jared hears something, feels the shifter’s surprise in his mind. He barely has any strength left, but he forces his eyes open for a moment and sees Jensen, knife in hand, tackling the shifter to the ground.
“Jensen,” Jared whispers, barely audible, and his heart leaps at the sight of him. But then his eyes close again, and he thinks it’s probably all an illusion, a hallucination. He hears a voice like his cry out in pain, and then he feels someone gripping his arm and shaking.
“Jared,” Jensen says, voice panicked. “JARED! Come on, Jared, it’s me, you have to wake up…”
Jared tries, he does, but he can’t. He’s gone.
-
“Jared?”
Jared stirs a bit. He’s somewhere between sleep and reality, and he groans as he moves. When he does, he realizes his lips are wet. More than that, he’s lying down, on something soft, and he’s covered up, warm and free, no longer bound to the pipe in the sewer.
“Come on, Jay,” a soft voice pleads, and Jared fights to wake up, recognizing it instantly. Fingertips gently brush hair off of his forehead. “Wake up, man.”
It’s a bit of a struggle to open his eyes, but Jared does it, and he’s so relieved and grateful when he does, Jensen’s concerned eyes looking down at him. He realizes he’s in his bedroom, what’s slowly becoming their bedroom now, Jensen sitting in a chair beside the bed. He tries to speak, say Jensen’s name, but he coughs instead, still dry.
“Here, hold on.” Jensen reaches for something and brings a tall glass of water into Jared’s line of vision. Jared immediately tries to sit up and falters, and Jensen presses him back down with his free hand. “Hey, hey, not so fast. Easy. I got you.”
Jensen’s arm slips beneath Jared and lifts him up slowly, supporting him. The glass is pressed to Jared’s lips and tipped upward, and Jared lurches forward when that first drop of water slips into his mouth. He wants to gulp it all down as quickly as possible, but Jensen pulls back a little, making him take his time. He grunts a little in annoyance, and feels Jensen chuckle a little next to him. He drinks as much as he can, and it’s glorious. He swears he can feel it flowing through his body, reviving him, wetting his tongue, his throat, slipping down it and settling cool in his stomach.
“Better?” Jensen asks when he’s done, and Jared nods, turning into Jensen’s body and not letting him pull away just yet.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice normal again. “Thank you.”
“I heard what the shifter was saying to you,” Jensen says, and Jared has so many questions he wants to ask Jensen, but Jensen beats him to it. “You didn’t really believe that, did you?”
“No,” Jared answers, though he’s a bit hesitant and unsure. But he knows how much the shifter messed with his head. He knows it has to be wrong. It has to be.
“Really?” Jensen asks, skeptical, and Jared wonders if they’re really going to have a serious conversation now, after he just woke up from this whole ordeal. “Because you should.” Jensen slides away from him, and Jared suddenly feels cold beneath Jensen’s stare. It’s then that he realizes Jensen is wearing his clothes. The ones the shifter had been in the last time he’d seen it. “It’s true. I really don’t give a shit about you.” Jensen’s eyes flash, and he grins, reaching up and tearing half of his face off.
Jared’s breath catches in his throat as fear grips him, and he scrambles to get off the bed, but the shifter grabs him, leaps onto the bed and pins him there, blood dripping down onto him from the missing part of his face.
“You think I’d let you get away that easily?” He asks as Jared struggles beneath him, to no avail. “You two and your fucking relationship. You’re ruining this for me!” The shifter’s fist pulls back and slams into Jared’s jaw before he can even think about doing anything about it. “I’ll just have to kill you both!” He leans close, and Jared tries to turn away from the smell of blood and the messy sight of his face. “I already killed your boyfriend.”
****
Jensen doesn’t really know where he is. He’s just feeling his way along the walls of the sewer, trying to find his way out, if he can picture the way out well enough. It isn’t as if he’s been down here a lot. He’s hurt, a good knock to the head and a shallow knife wound in his side, but he keeps going, doing his best to use one hand to guide him and the other to put pressure on the wound and slow his blood loss. It isn’t that bad, and he somehow knows it. He can make it. He just has to find his way out of here and find Jared. God only knows what the shifter is doing to him now.
He’d known something was wrong with Jared that night he’d come home late. He couldn’t tell what it was at first, but he just knew that something wasn’t right. Jared had wanted him, wanted to touch him, and Jensen had claimed he was tired, which wasn’t entirely a lie. Jared had insisted, and for a moment, Jensen thought he wasn’t going to let up. But he did, eventually. It was a red flag, though Jensen didn’t know what for. He thought about talking to Jared, about asking him what was wrong, but something kept him from doing it. The dogs had even kept their distance from Jared. Maybe it was instinct. But he was awake when Jared disappeared at night. He was all too aware of the flare of Jared’s eyes on camera when he watched the dailies one day, and, even though it was crazy, he took it upon himself to grab a silver knife and follow Jared when he left the house at an incredibly odd hour.
He’d followed the shifter here, eventually moving by sound and touch through the sewer when it got too dark, and hanging back in the shadows when the candles were lit. He watched and waited, his heart breaking when he finally saw Jared sitting there, bound, bruised, and bloodied, cold and naked in his own mess and the filth of the sewer. He could see how weak Jared was, how much had been taken from him, and anger flooded his system. He’d kill the shifter for doing this, that was for sure.
But that was nothing compared to what the shifter had said and done in those last few moments. Jensen paused at the fake Jared’s words, saw how they affected Jared himself, and then looked on in horror as Jared convulsed and screamed in pain. It tore right into Jensen, broke him open. He’d seen Sam hurt plenty of times, even dead. He’d heard Sam’s cries of pain. And even though Jared was Sam, this was completely different. It was worse. The sound that was ripped from Jared’s throat was too much to bear, brought tears to Jensen’s eyes, and then he hesitated. He could see the shifter going through something similar, pain and weakness. There was something going on, a transfer of some sort, and as much as he wanted to end Jared’s pain and kill the shifter, he worried that he could harm Jared if he interrupted whatever was going on.
“Fuck it,” he’d said, unable to listen to Jared any longer. He’d charged the shifter, catching it off guard in its weakest moment, but it was still strong. He struggled with it, trying to bring the knife down in just the right spot, and he wasn’t sure how to feel when he thought he finally did, hearing it cry out in Jared’s voice. He’d moved away from it, to Jared, checking on him, trying like hell to wake him up. And then he was attacked from behind.
That’s how he ended up here, alone and hurt in a darkened sewer, just like Jared had been for longer than Jensen wants to think about. He’s blindly working his way along, and he feels a surge of victory when he finds the way out, fighting through the pain to get back up onto the streets of Vancouver. He doesn’t have his cell phone and figures the shifter took it. He doesn’t know where the shifter’s gone with Jared, and he feels defeated for just a moment before he gathers his strength and heads for their house. He has to start somewhere. He has to help Jared. He prays that nothing else has happened to him.
The front door of the house isn’t locked when he gets there, and his heart beats a little faster. He enters as quietly as he can, disturbed when the dogs don’t come to greet him. He makes his way to the kitchen, slowly opening up the china cabinet to pull another knife out of it. He looks around a bit, sees the light on in the yard through the kitchen window, and looks out of it to see the dogs milling about. He sighs in relief. At least they’re okay. He thinks about bringing them back in, but wonders if they’d get confused and do more harm than good. He decides to leave them there, out of harm’s way, and face this thing on his own.
He heads up the stairs one step at a time. The house is dark, but he can see light coming from the cracked door of Jared’s bedroom. Their bedroom, he thinks. He readies the knife in his hand, steels himself when he hears a bit of a struggle. He can’t snap and just go running in there. He has to get it right this time. He steps towards the door, opening it little by little, so he can see what’s going on, and he falters a bit when he sees himself in Jared’s clothes hovering over Jared on the bed. The shifter senses him, it must, because it looks up, half of its face missing, and Jensen knows it’s now or never.
He moves quickly, running in and throwing himself at the shifter, knocking him off the bed and onto the floor. He wastes no time in plunging the knife into the shifter’s chest, makes sure it’s right in the center, and he twists it a little bit, an extra “fuck you” for everything it’s done to Jared and to him. He’s a little disturbed and a little grossed out, because he’s not quite as unhinged as Dean. But he does feel satisfied when the shifter’s eyes flash and then go dead, the body going lax beneath him. He kneels on it for a bit, doubling over and pressing a hand to his side when he realizes he did more damage to himself with the sudden movements and the exertion of this last fight. He’s losing more blood now.
“Jensen?!” Jared asks, calling for him, and Jensen turns back towards the bed, sees Jared peering over it.
“Call 911,” he breathes through the pain, clenching his teeth as he presses harder on the wound. “I think we both need help.”
“Oh my God,” Jared says, his face going white when he looks down further and sees the blood pouring through Jensen’s fingers.
Jensen awkwardly moves off the body on the floor and lays down while Jared scrambles for the nearest phone. He listens to Jared’s panicked phone call and tries to concentrate on breathing, on staying calm. He briefly wonders how the hell they’ll explain this to the cops when they get here, and actually huffs out a laugh.
“What the hell are you laughing at?” Jared asks, concerned. Jensen looks up at him, sees him struggle to pull on boxers and a t-shirt before joining him on the floor, hand hovering over the one he has covering his open wound, eyes wide with fear and concern. “Shit. Jensen…”
“You know I love you, right?” Jensen says, and maybe it’s melodramatic, because he doesn’t think he’s going to die, but you can never be sure, and he just wants Jared to know, because he realizes after all this that it’s ridiculous that neither of them has said it already. “You know that nothing the shifter ever said to you was true. Whatever he might’ve said about me and my feelings for you. He was wrong.”
“I know,” Jared says, eyes focused on his as he swallows and places a hand down over his heart. “I love you, too.”
****
It was supposed to be easy. Pose as an actress, play Satan’s sister, get close to the boys, and take over. Piece of cake for someone so powerful. Life would be so much better, famous and loved, Jensen under control. But things were different than expected. With Jared’s thoughts and memories came Jared’s emotions. Becoming Jared was harder than expected, and even someone so powerful softened at the sight of Jensen. Wants and desires were tempered by Jared’s feelings, his love. Satan’s sister could’ve had whatever she wanted, done whatever she wanted to Jensen, just as Jared could. But neither of them did. Because there was more to this life, this relationship. It was frustrating, maddening, and the more that was taken from Jared, the worse it got. It was already ruined before Jensen had shown up in the sewer and ruined it all. It had to stop. It had to end. And that was more infuriating than anything ever had been. They both had to die for it.
But Jensen wasn’t as dead as he was left to be. And that was Satan’s sister’s last mistake.
****
Jensen wakes from his surgery and feels a large, familiar hand wrapped around his own. He squeezes a little, likes the feel of it, and feels a squeeze back before he opens his eyes and sees Jared looking down at him, bandaged and looking much better than the last time he saw him.
“Hey,” Jared says, smiling. Jensen smiles back.
“Hey.”
“So, you’re kind of my hero.”
“Just life imitating art,” Jensen murmurs. Jared laughs and squeezes his hand again.
“Thank you,” he says, honest and sincere, his smile fading. “Jensen, what you did…You could’ve been killed. You almost were. Scared the shit outta me.”
“You and me both,” Jensen admits. “But I’ll follow you anywhere. Even into a dark and creepy sewer.”
“So romantic.”
They both laugh this time, and Jared leans over and kisses his forehead, strokes his temple with the thumb of his free hand. Jensen looks up at him, feeling a little loopy on pain meds, and purses his lips. And even though he knows he looks goofy as hell, Jared kisses him, soft and gentle, just a press of their lips together.
“Never wanna see you hurt again,” Jensen says quietly when Jared pulls away, the memory of finding Jared in the sewer haunting him. “Never wanna hear you scream like that again. That bastard.” He doesn’t even realize he’s shaking until Jared clasps both of his hands in his own to calm him.
“Relax. You need your rest.”
“So do you.”
“Hey,” Jared says, smirking. “You may be the hero, but I ain’t no damsel in distress. I’ll be fine. Just relax.”
“You’ll be here?” Jensen asks, and he feels his eyes closing again, even though he just woke up.
“Always.”
Fandom: RPS
Characters: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Prompt: 001. Beginnings.
fanfic100 table: here
Word Count: 9,358
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, angst, gore, mentions of sexual violence.
Summary: A recurring monster on the show turns out to be very real when it kidnaps Jared after he leaves set late one night. He's certain that he won't survive long enough for anyone to find him.
Author's Notes: This is for the spook_me challenge! Chosen monster and prompts are in bold. I managed to finish it, and I'm posting it early, so it might suck. Now I can focus on all the other shit I have to write!
“What do you think of this one?”
Jensen looks up from his belt buckle, fingers still working to fasten it. He’s still half naked, shirt waiting for him on the bed, and Jared’s sitting on the edge of it in nothing but his boxers, script for the day in hand. They’re both fresh and wet from the shower they took together, and Jensen’s still getting used to that idea. This is all so new, and while it’s easy with Jared, part of him still doesn’t know what to do with it. He’s still worried it’s all going to blow up in his face, because the butterflies he has in his stomach aren’t something he gets with just a casual fling.
“I don’t know,” he says, shrugging and reaching for his shirt, pulling it on over his head. He smirks a little when Jared looks back at him. “Didn’t think the devil’d have a family.”
“Yeah,” Jared snorts. “Satan’s sister? Kinda weird.” He stands and stretches, and Jensen tries not to stare at the play of muscles in his body. Jared relaxes and smiles, grabbing the jeans he’d tossed on the bed and pulling them on. “But it works. Any other writers and we’d be screwed, I think.”
-
One thing Jensen sort of hates about how fast-paced the show is, is how little time they have to actually meet the guest stars before they start shooting. His and Jared’s introductions to Sadie Campbell are barely mentions of names and handshakes before they’re rushed off to set. Jensen smiles when Jared happily blurts out, “That’s my dog’s name,” and is somewhat relieved to see that Sadie laughs kindly, not offended in the least. He turns to face her as they’re walking, continuing at the same pace backwards as they head to yet another wacky motel room.
“Trust me, coming from him, that’s the highest compliment,” he says, pointing at Jared, and the three of them laugh together just before things get serious. After all, scenes with Satan’s sister aren’t very bright and sunny. They’re tense and emotional, and Jensen’s happy to see that Sadie’s giving it all she’s got. She’s good, and Jensen gives her a lot of credit for taking on such a formidable role.
At the end of the day, they’re still friendly and a little closer, just like they always are with the guest stars they interact with, and Jensen gives her a hug, congratulates her on a job well done, and tells her he’ll see her tomorrow. She’s about ten different kinds of excited, still high from performing, even as Jensen feels thoroughly exhausted, but he knows how it is. If he and Jared weren’t so worked to the bone, he’d be pretty damn excited, too. She’s making her way into the acting world, breaking into the business, and it feels good. He’s happy for her.
-
“God, you can’t even wait, can you?”
Jared just smiles as he chews, and Jensen rolls his eyes. Jared’s standing there eating, waiting for Jensen to pile up his own plate so they can go back to their trailer for lunch.
“Hurry it up, slowpoke,” Jared says, swallowing his food, and reaching a foot out to kick lightly at Jensen’s shins. “I’mma be done by the time you even decide what you fuckin’ want.”
“Or,” Jensen starts, spooning some rice out onto his plate beside his chicken, “You could do the polite thing, and wait to eat until we’re both ready and sitting down.”
“Mmm,” Jared hums around another bite of food before swallowing it and shaking his head. “Sorry. Left my manners way back in San Antonio. Can’t go back and get ‘em now.”
“Sometimes, I doubt you’ve ever even had any,” Jensen quips, straightening up with his food in hand and lifting his chin in the air. “Okay. I’m ready.”
“Fuck you,” Jared laughs, kicking out at Jensen’s legs again, and he can see the amused glint in Jensen’s eyes. “I’m a fuckin’ gentleman.”
“You ever get that mouth washed out with soap?”
Jared turns towards the playful voice that sounded behind him and sees Sadie standing there. He’s once again reminded of just how big he is when he has to actually look down at her. That usually happens with the women on set, but he’s around Jensen so much that he still manages to forget that he’s sort of huge. Sadie’s petite, standing there with her hands on her hips, her bright blue eyes standing out as she smiles at him, dark hair cascading down her shoulders. He smiles back at her.
“I’m sorry ma’am.” He nods down to her, lowering his head a bit. “I usually don’t use such harsh language in front of a lady.” He hears Jensen snort behind him and reaches a foot back, but Jensen kicks it down before he can manage a third hit. Sadie sees the exchange and laughs.
“You two really are fun,” she says, turning and grabbing a plate for her own lunch. “I mean, everybody says so, but…it’s nice being here. I’m glad I got this for my first real gig.”
“This is home for us,” Jensen says, stepping up beside Jared and shrugging. “We may as well make it comfortable.”
“Ready for your big scene later?” Jared asks, and he feels for Sadie when she starts looking nervous and unsure of herself. “Hey, hey,” he says, not waiting for her answer and leaning forward to nudge her a bit with his elbow. “You’ll be fine.”
“Thanks,” she says, doing her best to smile a little, but he can tell she’s got butterflies flitting around in her stomach now, and he knows the feeling all too well, not surprised to see her settling for a small roll and a bit of fruit for lunch. “Guess I’ll go prepare myself. Enjoy your lunch.”
“You too,” Jared answers, tempted to jinx Jensen for saying it the same time as him, but passing on the opportunity.
“Poor girl,” Jensen says after she leaves, and Jared follows him as he starts walking back to their trailer. “She’s got a big day ahead of her.”
-
“Cut!”
The scene is over, the big showdown, and if Lucifer was made to be sympathetic on this show, his sister has even more emotion to show. She’s a wreck, and she hides it until it becomes painfully obvious, and Sadie gives it all she’s got. It makes Jensen’s job easier, Jared’s too, acting alongside her, and Jensen watches her when she’s done. He sees her trying to compose herself, trying to abandon the character and just be normal again, but she’s struggling. Jensen knows the feeling all too well, remembering the times Jared has wrapped him up in a hug and held him while he cries Dean out of his system. He would feel stupid and weak in those situations if it wasn’t Jared soothing him, taking care of him. Jared always makes everything seem okay, normal. He never makes Jensen feel like less of a man in his more vulnerable moments.
Jensen frowns over at Jared before making his way to Sadie, bending a bit to get closer to her level and gently wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
“It’s okay,” he says quietly, and he sees her eyes squeeze shut, her resolve slipping a little. He doesn’t wait for a response, just pulls her in for a hug and wraps his arms around her. “You did a real good job, Sadie,” he says, rubbing her back a little. “I’m proud of you.”
He feels her sob against him, her body shaking, and he just hugs her tighter, hoping she feels as safe as he does with Jared when he does it, enough for her to let it all out. He turns his head when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye and smiles a little when he sees Jared stepping up beside him.
“Awesome scene, Sadie,” Jared says, placing a hand on her back. He purposely slides it over Jensen’s a bit before slipping off and settling over Sadie’s shirt, and Jensen’s smile grows wider, warmth flooding his chest. Jared looks at him for a moment, and Jensen knows what he wants to ask without him ever speaking. He nods back to him, giving his approval, and Jared’s expression brightens a little, his tone lighter and a bit more playful as he tries to cheer Sadie out of her character’s depression. “You know, if you want to celebrate a job well done, we’re going out tonight with some of the crew guys. We always have a fun night out on the town. What d’ya say?”
Jensen feels Sadie’s breath hitch a few more times, and they both allow her a few more moments of silence, patiently waiting. He lets his arms fall away when she starts to pull back, wiping at her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, and Jensen squeezes her shoulder a bit.
“Don’t be. It happens to me all the time. Just one of the wonderful perks of being Dean Winchester on an almost daily basis.” She laughs, and Jensen’s glad to see her bouncing back, reverting back to herself.
“I’d love to,” she says then, pushing her hair back behind her ears and smiling, her eyes still red and puffy. “Thank you.”
-
Jared’s happy to see Sadie having a good time chatting and boozing it up with them and the crew, but he’s also kind of dying to get out of the bar. He feels a little bit bad about feeling that way, since he’s the one who invited Sadie out with them. But Jensen’s next to him, and they’re both drinking, and Jared’s starting to wish he could scoot a little closer to Jensen. He’s starting to wish he could touch him, maybe just lean on him a little. And then he’s starting to wish he could grope him, kiss him and grind all up on him until they both decide that being naked is the way to go. And that’s kind of a sign that he should be leaving, before he drinks more and makes a scene. Because watching Jensen drink from a bottle really isn’t helping things.
He’s pretty sure Jensen notices the way he’s watching him drink, because he’s at the point where he can’t help staring intently. Jensen puts his bottle down and smirks at him, leaning close and whispering “follow my lead” before nonchalantly standing and heading down the dark hallway in the back to the bathrooms. Jared’s hard in an instant, knowing what Jensen wants, and he spends an agonizing few minutes shooting the shit with Sadie and the crew, before he manages to politely excuse himself and head back towards Jensen, hoping his erection isn’t as obvious as it feels.
He hasn’t even made it to the bathrooms, just out of sight in the dark hallway, when Jensen grabs him, pushing him up against the wall and grinding his hard dick against him, mashing their lips together. Jared’s gasp of surprise is cut off by a helpless moan, and he can’t keep his eager tongue from exploring Jensen’s mouth, his hips jolting forward against Jensen’s body.
“See somethin’ you like out there?” Jensen whispers in his ear, chuckling, and Jared grins, letting his head fall back against the wall as Jensen licks and nips at his neck.
“Not really,” he says, trying to keep from panting or sounding too high-strung. “Just some asshole who can’t hold his liquor.” Jensen laughs against his skin, and Jared feels his blood rise at the warm puffs of breath there. “This is pretty risky, Jen,” he teases, and he’s still sober enough to feel just a little bit nervous. “We could get caught.” Jensen’s licking a stripe up his neck with confidence.
“We’re not gonna get cau-”
“Oh!”
Jared freezes, feels Jensen stiffen against him, and he closes his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and turning his head towards the voice he just heard, wishing it was all an illusion somehow. But Sadie’s standing there, cheeks flushed, hand cupped over her mouth, her body tense, as if it’s stuck in fight-or-flight mode.
“I-I’m sorry,” she finally manages, her hand slowly lowering itself down to her side. “I, um…I didn’t know you were…”
“Sadie,” Jared says, and it’s a little bit panicked, because he doesn’t know what to do, here. Nobody knows about them, not yet, and if word gets out…
“Uh, Sadie?” Jensen’s straightening up, turning towards Sadie but having a hard time looking her in the eyes. “I’m…I’m sorry this happened, but we…We haven’t…really…told anybody…”
“Oh…Oh!” Sadie says, as if she’s just realizing what Jensen’s getting at, and she starts shaking her head immediately. “No, no, no, you don’t…You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t tell anybody, it’s…It’s fine. Really.” She offers them a smile, backing away. “I honestly don’t even remember what happened.” Then she’s gone, heading back for the bar, and Jensen turns back into Jared and lets his head drop to his chest, heaving a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen apologizes, straightening again and looking up at Jared. “That was stupid. I should’ve been more careful.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jared says. But there’s something that hits him, something he doesn’t like when Jensen uses the word “stupid.” He’s not quite sure what it is, and he ignores it, even though he can’t quite shake it.
-
“Thank you both, for everything,” Sadie says on her very last day, and Jared hugs her just after Jensen does.
“Thank you,” he replies, smiling at her. “It’s been a pleasure.”
And just like that, just like the majority of the guest stars they’ve had on the show, she’s gone, and it’s back to just them: Jensen and Jared.
“You think she’ll tell anybody?” Jensen asks, and Jared just shrugs.
“She hasn’t so far.”
Jensen’s nervous, worried, and Jared can’t blame him. He is, too. It’s not even a matter of fear or shame. He would have no problem admitting his sexuality, if it weren’t for the media storm that would follow it. That’s what he doesn’t want. And it’s not just the negativity, either. It’s just the whole thing, in general. For about five years they’ve been filming this little show up in Vancouver with a cult following that most people ignore, and he’s been lucky enough to keep his anonymity, for the most part. But one word about sleeping with another man (his co-star, no less), and suddenly everyone gives a shit and wants to find out more about him? Fuck that. Besides, he’s not even sure if he and Jensen are…
He doesn’t know what they are. Neither of them does. They kind of just started this thing, and they haven’t really talked about it. Which Jared can guess is why, even though he feels just as nervous as Jensen when it comes to Sadie knowing about them, he feels a bit resentful of Jensen’s attitude about the whole thing.
They still don’t talk about it. Jensen wraps early and has a splitting headache, so Jared tells him to go home, take the dogs, and have Clif drive him. He can always get a cab later. Jensen looks at him, looks like he wants to talk, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just says “see you at home,” and that’s that.
It’s probably because of that, and how late he stays on set, that his mood isn’t the best when he leaves. He walks for a bit to clear his head, get some exercise, actually enjoy the cold, crisp air of Vancouver and be a little active. He thinks he’ll walk for a bit before calling the cab, even though it’s late. He can handle it.
That’s what he thinks, at first. But as he walks, he realizes just how late it is, just how dark it is. He feels a little isolated, and it just seems way too quiet. He can see his breath puffing out in front of his face, and he laughs a little bit, nervously, because he can’t be thinking about ghosts right now. The show can’t be getting to him that much.
But it is. He can see by the light of the moon, but the shadows from the buildings he’s passing are overwhelming, and he can’t help but feel like they’re creeping up on him. He tries to walk faster, following the rhythm of the steps in his brain. The hairs on the back of his neck are standing up, his mind working the rhythm out to “creep, shadow, creep,” and that’s when he pulls out his phone, hurriedly heading for the corner, where he can at least be under a streetlight.
Pain explodes between his shoulder blades before he can get there, and his mouth opens on a silenced cry, the breath knocked out of him as he falls to the ground, his cell phone skittering along the pavement. He panics, his heart pounding hard and his mind racing as he scrambles to turn around and face his attacker. He sees nothing, and tries to stand up, but then a blow comes from behind him, against the back of his head. He’s reeling from the pain, and another hit comes from the side before he can react. He’s only dimly aware of his fall to the pavement before he feels himself slipping away, into unconsciousness, Jensen’s name whispered on his lips.
-
He wakes up slowly, groggy and aching. He’s sitting, head hanging down, and as he tries to lift it up, he groans in pain, feeling it light up between his shoulders and in his head. He feels a pull at his shoulders, feels something behind his back, and realizes that he’s tied to something, hands bound behind it.
That’s when his head snaps up, and he ignores the pain that brings, heart hammering in his chest as his breaths come quicker. He doesn’t know where he is. He tugs at his bonds, feels rope digging into his wrists, and his fear spikes. He tries to tamper it down, tries to take deep breaths but he can’t. Wherever he is, it’s pitch black. He can’t see anything, and when he struggles some more, he feels that whatever he’s tied to is rounded, kind of like a pipe. For a moment, he closes his eyes, tells himself that this is all a nightmare, that he’s just dreaming, and all he has to do is calm himself down and wake up. This will all be over when he opens his eyes again.
But it isn’t. He’s still trapped, still bound in darkness, his head and back throbbing, and he can feel blood drying on his forehead. He hears the sound of water dripping in a puddle somewhere, and maybe rats scurrying around the floor, and that’s when he realizes where he is. He can smell it. He’s in a sewer. He shivers in the damp and the cold, and he can’t help the tears that spring to his eyes. He blinks them back, tries to close his eyes over them, and continuously swallows over the lump in his throat. He just keeps thinking something has to happen. Someone has to show up, someone has to save him. There has to be a way out of this that he isn’t thinking of. He feels a bit of a twinge in his head, and figures it’s from the blows he suffered, and he wonders just how badly he’s been hurt, hoping it isn’t too serious.
“Oh, good, you’re awake.”
Jared jolts, hearing the voice just a split second before he hears the sound of someone striking a match and a flame dances in the darkness. A candle is lit, and then another, until the whole area around him is just visible in dim light. He knows that the voice he heard is feminine, but he can’t believe what he sees when his captor is finally there, standing right in front of him.
“Sadie,” he whispers, hardly able to believe it even as he says it. She stands there and smiles at him, more sinister than the smile he remembers, and he thinks again that he must be-
“You’re not dreaming,” she says, interrupting his train of thought, and that’s when he feels the twinge in his head again. There’s something different about it, something not related to his injuries, and he can’t figure out what it is until he hears her voice in his head. This is very real.
“What?” Jared breathes out, shaking his head as if to clear it. He can feel her in there, a presence in his mind that he can’t expel, and it brings his panic to a new level.
“Wow,” Sadie laughs, shaking her head at him. “You’re really a mess over this, aren’t you?” It’s then that Jared hears a familiar ring tone, Sadie pulling his cell phone from the front pocket of her jeans. She looks at it, sees the name on the display, and smiles. Jensen, he hears in his brain, and he shivers at the feel of that voice, that tone. She kneels down in front of him and wraps a hand around his throat. He gasps as she turns her wrist a certain way, feels a strain in his neck. It hurts, and there’s a strength in her that’s just as unexplainable as her telepathy. Say anything, and I’ll break your neck.
“Hey, man,” she says out loud as she answers the phone, and Jared feels his blood run ice cold. She’s using his voice, a perfect replica, and a rampant, questioning fear runs through his brain before pain sears through it, and all coherent thought ceases. He barely gasps, and all he can manage to process is the conversation with Jensen on the phone. “Yeah, I just left not too long ago,” he hears himself say, even though he isn’t the one speaking. “I called for the cab, it should be here any minute. I’ll be home soon. Yeah. Yeah, alright. Okay, bye.”
Sadie ends the call and releases him, and his thoughts flood back to him. His chest heaves as he tries to breathe through his fear, and he’s shaking his head back and forth before he even realizes it, still thinking that this can’t be real. It can’t be real.
“You never learn, do you?” Sadie says, and she tsks and smiles at him, as if she pities him. “This is real.”
Still smiling, she reaches a hand up to her cheek. He watches as her nails and fingertips find purchase in the skin there, hears the disgusting squelch of blood and soft tissue, and then she’s pulling the skin away from her face, blood and muscle revealed as her smile finally falters and she drops half of her face onto the floor, a pile of live, soaked skin right beside him. He looks down at it, can’t help it, despite the lurch of his stomach, and he feels the bile rising up as he looks back at her, half of her smile returning.
He heaves, his body trying to pull forward but not getting far, still bound to the pipe behind him. He turns his head to the opposite side of the pile of skin next to him and vomits, the liquid burning the back of his throat and even the inside of his nose as his eyes tear up again. He’s never seen anything like this in real life. Then again, things like this aren’t supposed to be real. Shapeshifters aren’t supposed to be real.
“So you know what I am,” Sadie says, and he’s still heaving violently when he hears the distinct sound of the other half of her face being peeled away. “I guess you should by now. Supernatural’s given you a lot of info, hasn’t it? Of course, we’re much more powerful than even Mr. Kripke has imagined.”
He doesn’t answer her, and his stomach has finally settled, but he’s still shaking as a reaction. He refuses to look towards her again, and even if staring at his own puke isn’t ideal, it’s better than what he’ll see if he turns his head. He’s not so sure he can hold back against round two, the smell of his vomit and her blood mixing in his nostrils. He can hear the sound of her clothing dropping to the floor, exposing more of her skin so she can tear it all away, and he suddenly starts dry heaving.
“Man,” she laughs, and it hurts to hear, because his head is pounding. “You’re no Sam Winchester, are you? Pretty pathetic, if you ask me. Your character can handle a lot more than you can.”
He’s trembling, and everything hurts. The strain of being sick hasn’t helped the pain from his previous injuries, his head and back feeling like they’re on fire. He leans back against the pipe, already exhausted, and closes his eyes, trying to somehow wish himself away from here, and still hoping to wake up from this nightmare. It’s all too much.
“I’m gonna need your clothes.”
Jared’s head snaps up, eyes flying open, when he hears his own voice again, and he swears his heart stops with the dread that settles in his chest when he sees himself staring back at him. He’s standing there, every muscle and hair in place, looking down on him. It’s more than frightening, and he wonders how many people have ever been this intimidated by themselves.
“I’m kinda tied up right now,” Jared rasps, his voice hoarse from all the fucking puking he’s done, and even he’s surprised by his smartass response. He’d barely even thought about it before he said it, and he wonders if maybe he’s more like Sam than he realizes.
“So clever,” the shifter taunts, reaching for the jacket that Sadie had worn and drawing a knife out of it. Jared stiffens, and the shifter smiles back at him. “Don’t worry. I’m just cutting the rope.” He leans down, and Jared feels tension around his wrists before they’re loose and free. He tries to get to his feet and lunge at the shifter, but he’s already hurt and weak, and this other version of himself is freakishly stronger than he is, jamming him back against the pipe. He cries out at the pain in his back, along his spine, and the shifter chuckles in his ear. “You of all people should know that we’re stronger than any normal human.” You can’t fight me. “Take off your clothes.”
It’s humiliating, undressing and being undressed by the shifter when he gets too impatient with Jared’s hesitancy and refusal. He’s left exposed, naked in the dirt and damp of the sewer, and then the shifter is putting his clothes on and forcing him back down, sitting him down in filth and tying him back up. He’s freezing cold, to the point where his teeth are actually audibly chattering, and he finally manages a question through all of the shivering.
“What do you want with me?” There’s a beat of silence, and Jared forces himself to speak again, even if his voice does break with emotion. “Why don’t you just kill me?”
“I want your life,” the shifter replies, kneeling in front of him and staring back at him. “I want to be you. You, with your perfect life, your perfect little career, and all your adoring fans.” He smiles, and it’s evil, menacing, and Jared isn’t used to seeing that look on his own face. “And you have Jensen. You get to be with him, all the time. I want that. I want him.”
“No,” Jared blurts out immediately, futilely struggling against his bonds as terror spikes through him. He can’t do this. He can’t be trapped here. He can’t let anything happen to Jensen. Not to Jensen. “No, please, don’t hurt him! Please. Just leave him alone. You kill me if you want,” he says, his voice trembling with the fear of dying alone, but he still means what he says. “Just don’t hurt him.”
“Hurt him?” The shifter laughs, and Jared feels a chill run down his spine. “I have plans for him.”
And at that moment, it’s like a switch has flipped in Jared’s brain. He’s suddenly seeing what the shapeshifter is envisioning, and it’s Jensen, naked and writhing beneath the wrong version of him. Anger flares throughout Jared’s body, and he pulls at his restraints again, muscles bunching and tensing with the effort to break free.
“Don’t you fucking touch him,” Jared growls, and he hears the shifter chuckle again before the scene changes. Jensen’s still naked beneath him, but this time he’s not ready, not even willing, and Jared suddenly feels the urge to vomit again at Jensen’s pain, his cries, his desperation. “NO!” Jared shouts, practically screams, and he’s fighting against the rope so much and so hard that it’s beginning to cut into his wrists. They’re being scraped raw, close to bleeding, but Jared doesn’t care. Not now. His vision clears, and he’s once again staring up at himself, grinning down at him. He’s never felt so much hate for anyone, and the fact that it’s himself is fucking with his head, but not putting any kind of a damper on his anger. “You do that to him, and I’ll fucking kill you!”
“You could do it if you wanted to,” the shifter says, ignoring him and lifting his arms, his fists, and flexing, almost in awe. “You could do it on your own. Jensen’s strong, too, but compared to you? With this body, you could do whatever you wanted to him, and he wouldn’t be able to stop you.”
“I would never hurt him,” Jared says, his voice shaky as he swallows around a lump in his throat. “Not like that. Not ever.” He’s forgotten all about his nudity, all about the cold and his injuries. All he can think about is Jensen and what might happen to him. How Jensen wouldn’t even see it coming, because it would be him doing it. The lump in his throat gets bigger, and Jared can barely breathe.
“You’re so sweet,” the shifter says, teasing. “And the reason why I can’t kill you yet, is because I need you,” he explains. “I need to become you. You remember don’t you? I need to take your thoughts, your memories. These things take time.”
Jared doesn’t respond, doesn’t even have time to, before he feels the shifter’s presence in his brain increase rapidly, the pain he’d felt before when he was being kept quiet during the conversation with Jensen on the phone paling in comparison to this. He can’t think, has no control over his body, and he convulses as the intensity of the burning in his skull ratchets up a few notches, his vision going white, then red before his eyes roll back in his head. He’s still conscious, but barely, and he can feel things being pulled from him as an alien sound suddenly fills his ears. Something tells him that that sound is him, that he’s screaming in the agony he feels, and the only independent thought that he can process now is that he’s going to die. This is going to kill him.
The pain tapers off slower than the way it had started, and Jared’s head falls forward. He’s slowly coming back to himself, but he almost doesn’t want to, because it hurts. He can taste blood, and he can feel that he bit his tongue while his mind was under attack. He’s panting, half dazed, and he hears a grunt of pain before he looks up and sees that the shifter has also been temporarily weakened by the process, bent over and holding his head in his hands. Jared can feel himself slipping away, moving closer and closer to unconsciousness.
“See you tomorrow night,” he hears the shifter say, and then the candles are blown out and he’s plunged into darkness.
-
When Jared wakes up again, he doesn’t know how much time has passed or what time of day it is. He can’t see anything in the sewer, and he’s shivering again, parts of him almost feeling numb. He thinks of Jensen, and he struggles again, figuring it can’t hurt to move and get some warmth flowing through his body, anyway. It frustrates him when he doesn’t make any progress, except for cutting into his wrists even further. They burn, and they’re slick with blood, and he still can’t slip out of the rope looped and tied around them. His brain feels free and clear of the shifter’s presence, and he’s not sure if that’s better or worse, now. That was at least a bit of a distraction from this hell, and it kept him from seeing the full reality of the situation. He takes a deep breath and screams as loud as he possibly can.
“HELP!”
His own voice echoes around him, and he coughs, his throat dry and raw. He’s thirsty, cold, and alone. Completely alone. He tries to call for help again, and his shout gets cut off earlier with another cough and echo, and he doesn’t try to fight the tears this time. His chest heaves, and he sobs in the darkness, hot tears spilling down his cold cheeks. He’s never been so scared, so hopeless and useless. He could die down here, a shapeshifter taking his place, and no one would know.
You miss me? sounds in his brain just before he hears footsteps. The shifter has taken up residence in his mind again, and the candles are being lit, his own form being lit up in the darkness. “How are we holding up?” The shifter holds up the match he’s been using and blows it out, dropping it to the ground and smiling. “Crying again? Never thought you’d be such a big fucking baby.” Jared doesn’t respond, doesn’t know how, but there’s only one thought running through his brain, and the shifter picks up on it. “Fucked your boyfriend last night,” he says, and Jared tenses and shakes his head.
“No,” he whispers, looking away. “No, you’re lying. You’re lying.”
“You think?” The shifter moves out of Jared’s peripheral vision and then returns with a thin blanket, throwing it over him. Jared’s body moves into the feel of the blanket, desperate for the warmth it offers. “Can’t have you dying on me just yet. I still need you.”
“What did you do to him?” Jared asks, even though he isn’t sure he really wants to know. But part of him hopes that Jensen knows somehow, and that he outsmarted the shifter.
“I already told you,” the shifter replies. “And I didn’t even have to force him. He’s a slut, you know.”
“You shut your fucking mouth,” Jared spits, seething.
“Such a whore for cock,” the shifter laughs, unaffected by Jared’s anger. “And you know something?” Jared leans back as far as he can, head against the pipe behind him, when the shifter crouches down in front of him, looming in close. “He hasn’t even noticed. He can’t tell the difference between you and me. And you wanna know why? Because he doesn’t care.”
“Shut up,” Jared hisses, closing his eyes and ignoring the way the shifter is trying to manipulate the thoughts in his head. “It’s not true.”
“But it is,” the shifter continues, speaking calmly. “What, you think he loves you?” Jared tries not to think about it, tries not to admit the feelings he hasn’t even admitted to himself yet, but he can’t help it here and now, when Jensen’s being threatened. “Oh, you poor bastard. No one ever taught you the difference between love and fucking? Because that’s all Jensen wants from you.” Jared’s beginning to feel hollow, but he fights against it.
“No,” he breathes, shaking his head again.
“Wouldn’t I know?” the shifter asks gently, as if it’s trying to let him down easy, and he hates it even more. “You know what I can do. I’m in your head right now. What makes you think I can’t get into Jensen’s? See what he really thinks about you?”
“He’s my best friend,” Jared says, finally opening his eyes to look back at the shifter, and it comes out more pathetic than he means it to.
“He thinks you’re an annoying little shit,” he says, and Jared somehow feels that like it’s a blow to the chest. “You think he’s laughing with you, but he’s really laughing at you. You’re a fucking clown to him. But he’s okay with that, because it makes him look better. He is better. He’s the better actor, the better professional. And next to you, he looks fucking Oscar worthy. And while he’s got the opportunity to, he may as well fuck you, because it’s the one thing you’re good for, and he gets off on it. He couldn’t care less about you.”
“Don’t,” Jared starts, choking on his words, his heart dropping. But he doesn’t get much further than that when the shifter reaches inside his mind again. His body snaps tight, head smacking back against the pipe as he screams in pain, unable to see or think as the shifter takes what it wants again.
-
The blanket’s gone when Jared wakes up again, and he realizes that the shifter is doing the bare minimum to keep him alive until he doesn’t need him anymore. He already feels weaker, like the life is somehow being drained out of him, and there’s nothing he can do about it. He’s going to die here. He thinks of Jensen, hopes he’s okay, and then thinks of what the shifter said about him. He closes his eyes, since he can’t see anyway, and takes a deep breath. He keeps thinking that it can’t be true, that Jensen wouldn’t think that, but the shifter’s got him wondering about it, his feelings more hurt than he would care to admit. What if it is true?
Jared’s throat is so dry, he can barely swallow now. He’s sure he’s dehydrated. He threw up everything in his system, screamed himself raw, and he hasn’t been given any water since he’s been taken. He thinks he should be hungry, but he isn’t, even though his stomach feels so empty. He does feel the urge to pee, and wonders what happens when he has to use the bathroom. He supposes it wouldn’t make much difference if he just went right here, since he’s already sitting in filth, but he’d prefer to not be steeped in his own urine.
He’s forced to when the shifter does nothing to help him with his problem, just tells him about how he held Jensen down, how Jensen resisted, and Jared hopes like hell that it isn’t true. The shifter takes from him again before he leaves, and that’s when Jared loses it, only aware of the warmth flowing between his legs after he’s done convulsing, when his vision returns to normal, and just before he blacks out again.
-
“You’re lucky,” the shifter says when he returns again. “I think this will be the last of it. I’m just about done with you.”
Jared just stares, at the shifter and at the lit candles. He can feel his heart pumping throughout his whole body, can feel himself panting heavily, though he’s not sure why. He’s not as cold as he was, but the warmth he feels doesn’t feel right to him. He’s so tired, his legs and arms are tingling, hands almost numb in their restraints, and his head is already pounding. He’s sure the shifter is right. He’s sure he won’t survive another bout with his mind. This is it. He’s going to die, and he somehow can’t feel enough to fear it. All he wants to do is sleep. He closes his eyes, preparing himself for it, picturing Jensen, as much as it hurts him now.
“He doesn’t care about you,” the shifter says, and the image vanishes from Jared’s mind, the shifter already in control. “He won’t miss you. No one will. You’re nothing to him. All he needs is me.”
The pain is worse this time, and it’s just spelling out the end to Jared. He thinks he’s screaming again, though he doesn’t know how he’s able to with how dry he feels. It’s almost over now.
But instead of tapering off like it usually does, the pain just suddenly vanishes, and Jared hears something, feels the shifter’s surprise in his mind. He barely has any strength left, but he forces his eyes open for a moment and sees Jensen, knife in hand, tackling the shifter to the ground.
“Jensen,” Jared whispers, barely audible, and his heart leaps at the sight of him. But then his eyes close again, and he thinks it’s probably all an illusion, a hallucination. He hears a voice like his cry out in pain, and then he feels someone gripping his arm and shaking.
“Jared,” Jensen says, voice panicked. “JARED! Come on, Jared, it’s me, you have to wake up…”
Jared tries, he does, but he can’t. He’s gone.
-
“Jared?”
Jared stirs a bit. He’s somewhere between sleep and reality, and he groans as he moves. When he does, he realizes his lips are wet. More than that, he’s lying down, on something soft, and he’s covered up, warm and free, no longer bound to the pipe in the sewer.
“Come on, Jay,” a soft voice pleads, and Jared fights to wake up, recognizing it instantly. Fingertips gently brush hair off of his forehead. “Wake up, man.”
It’s a bit of a struggle to open his eyes, but Jared does it, and he’s so relieved and grateful when he does, Jensen’s concerned eyes looking down at him. He realizes he’s in his bedroom, what’s slowly becoming their bedroom now, Jensen sitting in a chair beside the bed. He tries to speak, say Jensen’s name, but he coughs instead, still dry.
“Here, hold on.” Jensen reaches for something and brings a tall glass of water into Jared’s line of vision. Jared immediately tries to sit up and falters, and Jensen presses him back down with his free hand. “Hey, hey, not so fast. Easy. I got you.”
Jensen’s arm slips beneath Jared and lifts him up slowly, supporting him. The glass is pressed to Jared’s lips and tipped upward, and Jared lurches forward when that first drop of water slips into his mouth. He wants to gulp it all down as quickly as possible, but Jensen pulls back a little, making him take his time. He grunts a little in annoyance, and feels Jensen chuckle a little next to him. He drinks as much as he can, and it’s glorious. He swears he can feel it flowing through his body, reviving him, wetting his tongue, his throat, slipping down it and settling cool in his stomach.
“Better?” Jensen asks when he’s done, and Jared nods, turning into Jensen’s body and not letting him pull away just yet.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice normal again. “Thank you.”
“I heard what the shifter was saying to you,” Jensen says, and Jared has so many questions he wants to ask Jensen, but Jensen beats him to it. “You didn’t really believe that, did you?”
“No,” Jared answers, though he’s a bit hesitant and unsure. But he knows how much the shifter messed with his head. He knows it has to be wrong. It has to be.
“Really?” Jensen asks, skeptical, and Jared wonders if they’re really going to have a serious conversation now, after he just woke up from this whole ordeal. “Because you should.” Jensen slides away from him, and Jared suddenly feels cold beneath Jensen’s stare. It’s then that he realizes Jensen is wearing his clothes. The ones the shifter had been in the last time he’d seen it. “It’s true. I really don’t give a shit about you.” Jensen’s eyes flash, and he grins, reaching up and tearing half of his face off.
Jared’s breath catches in his throat as fear grips him, and he scrambles to get off the bed, but the shifter grabs him, leaps onto the bed and pins him there, blood dripping down onto him from the missing part of his face.
“You think I’d let you get away that easily?” He asks as Jared struggles beneath him, to no avail. “You two and your fucking relationship. You’re ruining this for me!” The shifter’s fist pulls back and slams into Jared’s jaw before he can even think about doing anything about it. “I’ll just have to kill you both!” He leans close, and Jared tries to turn away from the smell of blood and the messy sight of his face. “I already killed your boyfriend.”
****
Jensen doesn’t really know where he is. He’s just feeling his way along the walls of the sewer, trying to find his way out, if he can picture the way out well enough. It isn’t as if he’s been down here a lot. He’s hurt, a good knock to the head and a shallow knife wound in his side, but he keeps going, doing his best to use one hand to guide him and the other to put pressure on the wound and slow his blood loss. It isn’t that bad, and he somehow knows it. He can make it. He just has to find his way out of here and find Jared. God only knows what the shifter is doing to him now.
He’d known something was wrong with Jared that night he’d come home late. He couldn’t tell what it was at first, but he just knew that something wasn’t right. Jared had wanted him, wanted to touch him, and Jensen had claimed he was tired, which wasn’t entirely a lie. Jared had insisted, and for a moment, Jensen thought he wasn’t going to let up. But he did, eventually. It was a red flag, though Jensen didn’t know what for. He thought about talking to Jared, about asking him what was wrong, but something kept him from doing it. The dogs had even kept their distance from Jared. Maybe it was instinct. But he was awake when Jared disappeared at night. He was all too aware of the flare of Jared’s eyes on camera when he watched the dailies one day, and, even though it was crazy, he took it upon himself to grab a silver knife and follow Jared when he left the house at an incredibly odd hour.
He’d followed the shifter here, eventually moving by sound and touch through the sewer when it got too dark, and hanging back in the shadows when the candles were lit. He watched and waited, his heart breaking when he finally saw Jared sitting there, bound, bruised, and bloodied, cold and naked in his own mess and the filth of the sewer. He could see how weak Jared was, how much had been taken from him, and anger flooded his system. He’d kill the shifter for doing this, that was for sure.
But that was nothing compared to what the shifter had said and done in those last few moments. Jensen paused at the fake Jared’s words, saw how they affected Jared himself, and then looked on in horror as Jared convulsed and screamed in pain. It tore right into Jensen, broke him open. He’d seen Sam hurt plenty of times, even dead. He’d heard Sam’s cries of pain. And even though Jared was Sam, this was completely different. It was worse. The sound that was ripped from Jared’s throat was too much to bear, brought tears to Jensen’s eyes, and then he hesitated. He could see the shifter going through something similar, pain and weakness. There was something going on, a transfer of some sort, and as much as he wanted to end Jared’s pain and kill the shifter, he worried that he could harm Jared if he interrupted whatever was going on.
“Fuck it,” he’d said, unable to listen to Jared any longer. He’d charged the shifter, catching it off guard in its weakest moment, but it was still strong. He struggled with it, trying to bring the knife down in just the right spot, and he wasn’t sure how to feel when he thought he finally did, hearing it cry out in Jared’s voice. He’d moved away from it, to Jared, checking on him, trying like hell to wake him up. And then he was attacked from behind.
That’s how he ended up here, alone and hurt in a darkened sewer, just like Jared had been for longer than Jensen wants to think about. He’s blindly working his way along, and he feels a surge of victory when he finds the way out, fighting through the pain to get back up onto the streets of Vancouver. He doesn’t have his cell phone and figures the shifter took it. He doesn’t know where the shifter’s gone with Jared, and he feels defeated for just a moment before he gathers his strength and heads for their house. He has to start somewhere. He has to help Jared. He prays that nothing else has happened to him.
The front door of the house isn’t locked when he gets there, and his heart beats a little faster. He enters as quietly as he can, disturbed when the dogs don’t come to greet him. He makes his way to the kitchen, slowly opening up the china cabinet to pull another knife out of it. He looks around a bit, sees the light on in the yard through the kitchen window, and looks out of it to see the dogs milling about. He sighs in relief. At least they’re okay. He thinks about bringing them back in, but wonders if they’d get confused and do more harm than good. He decides to leave them there, out of harm’s way, and face this thing on his own.
He heads up the stairs one step at a time. The house is dark, but he can see light coming from the cracked door of Jared’s bedroom. Their bedroom, he thinks. He readies the knife in his hand, steels himself when he hears a bit of a struggle. He can’t snap and just go running in there. He has to get it right this time. He steps towards the door, opening it little by little, so he can see what’s going on, and he falters a bit when he sees himself in Jared’s clothes hovering over Jared on the bed. The shifter senses him, it must, because it looks up, half of its face missing, and Jensen knows it’s now or never.
He moves quickly, running in and throwing himself at the shifter, knocking him off the bed and onto the floor. He wastes no time in plunging the knife into the shifter’s chest, makes sure it’s right in the center, and he twists it a little bit, an extra “fuck you” for everything it’s done to Jared and to him. He’s a little disturbed and a little grossed out, because he’s not quite as unhinged as Dean. But he does feel satisfied when the shifter’s eyes flash and then go dead, the body going lax beneath him. He kneels on it for a bit, doubling over and pressing a hand to his side when he realizes he did more damage to himself with the sudden movements and the exertion of this last fight. He’s losing more blood now.
“Jensen?!” Jared asks, calling for him, and Jensen turns back towards the bed, sees Jared peering over it.
“Call 911,” he breathes through the pain, clenching his teeth as he presses harder on the wound. “I think we both need help.”
“Oh my God,” Jared says, his face going white when he looks down further and sees the blood pouring through Jensen’s fingers.
Jensen awkwardly moves off the body on the floor and lays down while Jared scrambles for the nearest phone. He listens to Jared’s panicked phone call and tries to concentrate on breathing, on staying calm. He briefly wonders how the hell they’ll explain this to the cops when they get here, and actually huffs out a laugh.
“What the hell are you laughing at?” Jared asks, concerned. Jensen looks up at him, sees him struggle to pull on boxers and a t-shirt before joining him on the floor, hand hovering over the one he has covering his open wound, eyes wide with fear and concern. “Shit. Jensen…”
“You know I love you, right?” Jensen says, and maybe it’s melodramatic, because he doesn’t think he’s going to die, but you can never be sure, and he just wants Jared to know, because he realizes after all this that it’s ridiculous that neither of them has said it already. “You know that nothing the shifter ever said to you was true. Whatever he might’ve said about me and my feelings for you. He was wrong.”
“I know,” Jared says, eyes focused on his as he swallows and places a hand down over his heart. “I love you, too.”
****
It was supposed to be easy. Pose as an actress, play Satan’s sister, get close to the boys, and take over. Piece of cake for someone so powerful. Life would be so much better, famous and loved, Jensen under control. But things were different than expected. With Jared’s thoughts and memories came Jared’s emotions. Becoming Jared was harder than expected, and even someone so powerful softened at the sight of Jensen. Wants and desires were tempered by Jared’s feelings, his love. Satan’s sister could’ve had whatever she wanted, done whatever she wanted to Jensen, just as Jared could. But neither of them did. Because there was more to this life, this relationship. It was frustrating, maddening, and the more that was taken from Jared, the worse it got. It was already ruined before Jensen had shown up in the sewer and ruined it all. It had to stop. It had to end. And that was more infuriating than anything ever had been. They both had to die for it.
But Jensen wasn’t as dead as he was left to be. And that was Satan’s sister’s last mistake.
****
Jensen wakes from his surgery and feels a large, familiar hand wrapped around his own. He squeezes a little, likes the feel of it, and feels a squeeze back before he opens his eyes and sees Jared looking down at him, bandaged and looking much better than the last time he saw him.
“Hey,” Jared says, smiling. Jensen smiles back.
“Hey.”
“So, you’re kind of my hero.”
“Just life imitating art,” Jensen murmurs. Jared laughs and squeezes his hand again.
“Thank you,” he says, honest and sincere, his smile fading. “Jensen, what you did…You could’ve been killed. You almost were. Scared the shit outta me.”
“You and me both,” Jensen admits. “But I’ll follow you anywhere. Even into a dark and creepy sewer.”
“So romantic.”
They both laugh this time, and Jared leans over and kisses his forehead, strokes his temple with the thumb of his free hand. Jensen looks up at him, feeling a little loopy on pain meds, and purses his lips. And even though he knows he looks goofy as hell, Jared kisses him, soft and gentle, just a press of their lips together.
“Never wanna see you hurt again,” Jensen says quietly when Jared pulls away, the memory of finding Jared in the sewer haunting him. “Never wanna hear you scream like that again. That bastard.” He doesn’t even realize he’s shaking until Jared clasps both of his hands in his own to calm him.
“Relax. You need your rest.”
“So do you.”
“Hey,” Jared says, smirking. “You may be the hero, but I ain’t no damsel in distress. I’ll be fine. Just relax.”
“You’ll be here?” Jensen asks, and he feels his eyes closing again, even though he just woke up.
“Always.”