Title: New Favourite
Rating: R
Pairing: Jenny Sheppard/L. J. Gibbs
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: 'New favorite, they all say it, I’ll say it too, you’ve got a new favorite.' Just a short angsty piece.
Length: 760+ words
Status: Complete
A/N: I'm English, so although the song is 'New Favorite' the title is 'favourite' since that's how we spell it, it's a quirk.
The song is by Alison Krauss and Union Station.
New favorite
They all say it
I’ll say it too
You’ve got a new favorite
I watch you walk her to the elevator. Your team does too, but they don’t seem surprised; do you do that often? She has red hair Jethro. I wonder if you even notice anymore. Do you even look at blondes or brunettes?
She’s older than you usually go for. I should know. But she’s got you smiling, really smiling and I haven’t seen that smile since I came here. Not like that.
I’m sure I’ve slowed on these stairs, but it doesn’t matter, I’m the Director. If anyone notices they wouldn’t be brave enough to comment. I just can’t look away from you.
I knew it would be hard coming here, working above you when we used to be partners but I thought only of trying to get you to respect me. I didn’t even contemplate how just seeing you would affect me again. How can you do that to me after so long? How can you still make me pause and stare after everything I’ve seen?
You kiss her and I know why this feels familiar. That used to be me. I was the one you’d walk to the door, kiss and walk away from with that secret smile. Was that smile on your face the last time you walked away?
You turn and I break my gaze looking down. The others move into action again, but not Ziva, she’s still looking at me. It’s there in her eyes; she knows.
Your old standby
Your right hand guy
Is nothing new
You've got a new favorite.
I hate my office. Do you know that? Some days it feels so big, so empty. But others, like now, it feels so small, so suffocating. Do you remember the old places we used to work? Perhaps you remember them more not for the work, but the other side to our partnership. We were good together. Just not good enough to last.
Have you started thinking back, Jethro? Back to Paris. I have, it’s so hard not to. I’ll smell you as you walk into the room. Smell the anger and frustration on you and I’ll flash back. You were always so passionate when you got angry.
That’s why it took me so long to realise we were over. You got more passionate, more angry, but I couldn’t see it for what it was, not for a long time. We could have gone on forever like that, until you finally broke. But I saw it, eventually I saw it. I was too much, you too little. On paper it works, but life and love, they can’t be written down and calculated.
You know, I can’t even remember how we ended. I think I blocked it out, or maybe so much has happened since it got pushed away. I just remember you leaving, leaving the room, the country, me. You didn’t fight for me though, did you? I would remember that, because it would have kept us together. I would have made it keep us together.
Why do you lie about love?
I saw the light go out.
I have to stop thinking about you. I have to move on again, get to work. Do something. You’ve moved on, so many times. But this one. She’s different, I can tell. She’s been around for some time. I don’t compete, you know that Jethro. I give what I can, and offer what I can’t, but I never compete. Not if I’m not enough.
You've got a new favorite...
: fini :
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