So much apprehension about the future
Second day of the second month of the year. Maybe that calls for a reason to update my LJ. :)
W made an interesting but revealing comment about me, 'You're not happy'. Subsequently, we landed at many significant conclusions such as
My latest project: Tuck Shop.
If we get the bid, woohoo, i get a big discount for a cafe space rent at a premium location. $500 a month is a steal for a place within walking distance of Bras Basah, Cityhall and Dhoby Ghaut MRT. It will be my first/second taste of entrepreneurship. I say second because The English Lab's considered one too.
Not going to lie. I'm definitely feeling the stress of the rat race. I've been running the rat race all the life but it's the first time i feel it-I guess it's concentrated when you're in an institute housing the other top 10% of the population's future workforce (holding a degree). I've been walking an unconventional route e.g. A triple science student dropping Bio to take Literature, transferred out of science stream in JC to study Arts (and give up Science entirely for my uni options), then matriculated into a Business School (and chose the most 'dog-eat-dog' Business school out of the 3 business schools in Singapore). Maybe it's not uncommon, except i'm not meeting anyone similar along the way.
On hindsight, i guess i wouldn't have gone other wise.
2 years in uni have been rewarding. Tiring but gratifying.
My modules only further reinforce that. I learnt some useful theories to explain questions that have been bugging me for the last 10 years or so.
Unfortunately a problem i had with my primary and secondary school education was that i wasn't able to relate with what i studied. Getting good grades to boost my own ego doesn't count as a revelation of seeing the relation of studies and my own betterment. And perhaps that mindset got me into deep shit.
Studying shouldn't be all about good grades. Or rather, learning shouldn't be.
My self-esteem was built by good grades. I would be crushed if the result slips returns with anything unsatisfactory, given i really put in the effort of course. I was crushed by A Levels GP. My result slips are often littered with As and Bs (thankfully or unfortunately more As than Bs). Yes it's going to take a lot of courage to say: Grades aren't everything in life.
My skeptical self can smirk at the previous statement. I live in a world where my friends drive Benz sports car and/or cars to school, my school mates earn up to $6k (I heard $4k and $3k too) for internship - I'm not even talking about real jobs yet and the internship pays owns 90% of the minimum wage of Singapore undergraduates. (Evidence: Salary.sg) My insecurity prompted me to text my mum this morning: What if i earn only $2k after i graduate? It's definitely a cause for concern:
I shall be giving another shot for my internship. Had to re-do my resume because apparently dates are supposed to be on the right and not the left. -__- I've been using the wrong template for 3 years.
W made an interesting but revealing comment about me, 'You're not happy'. Subsequently, we landed at many significant conclusions such as
- The smarter the person, the more unhappy he is
- Thinking too much makes you unhappy
- When you receive something pleasant you least expect, the happiness felt is many times its usual dose
My latest project: Tuck Shop.
If we get the bid, woohoo, i get a big discount for a cafe space rent at a premium location. $500 a month is a steal for a place within walking distance of Bras Basah, Cityhall and Dhoby Ghaut MRT. It will be my first/second taste of entrepreneurship. I say second because The English Lab's considered one too.
Not going to lie. I'm definitely feeling the stress of the rat race. I've been running the rat race all the life but it's the first time i feel it-I guess it's concentrated when you're in an institute housing the other top 10% of the population's future workforce (holding a degree). I've been walking an unconventional route e.g. A triple science student dropping Bio to take Literature, transferred out of science stream in JC to study Arts (and give up Science entirely for my uni options), then matriculated into a Business School (and chose the most 'dog-eat-dog' Business school out of the 3 business schools in Singapore). Maybe it's not uncommon, except i'm not meeting anyone similar along the way.
On hindsight, i guess i wouldn't have gone other wise.
2 years in uni have been rewarding. Tiring but gratifying.
- DId my fair sum of personal travelling. Bali and Aus.
- Travelled to China for the first time, not for business but for wildlife conservation. (If you're interested in pandas, i highly recommend you research before you go over. Some key words: 'Chengdu, panda conservation base')
- Volunteered at the Zoo for 2 weeks.
- Took up at least 3 marketing positions (Side note: Feels good to have budget to work with)
- Completed at least 200 hours of community service
- Organized a trip to M'sia for cca. (We were sup to do ostrich riding but good thing it was cancelled due to safety issues. After that i realized my phobia for birds. Oh and go-kart and fireflies. Fond memories)
- Had a taste of long-distance relationship. Haters of LDR are going to hate me because it was sweet.
- Obtained my diving open water licence.
- Went sky-diving for the first time and maybe a future sport if i reside in Australia
- Presented in front an audience of hundreds?
- Made some of the best friends but lost one
- Found a soul mate who's staying for the rest of my whimsical life
My modules only further reinforce that. I learnt some useful theories to explain questions that have been bugging me for the last 10 years or so.
Unfortunately a problem i had with my primary and secondary school education was that i wasn't able to relate with what i studied. Getting good grades to boost my own ego doesn't count as a revelation of seeing the relation of studies and my own betterment. And perhaps that mindset got me into deep shit.
Studying shouldn't be all about good grades. Or rather, learning shouldn't be.
My self-esteem was built by good grades. I would be crushed if the result slips returns with anything unsatisfactory, given i really put in the effort of course. I was crushed by A Levels GP. My result slips are often littered with As and Bs (thankfully or unfortunately more As than Bs). Yes it's going to take a lot of courage to say: Grades aren't everything in life.
My skeptical self can smirk at the previous statement. I live in a world where my friends drive Benz sports car and/or cars to school, my school mates earn up to $6k (I heard $4k and $3k too) for internship - I'm not even talking about real jobs yet and the internship pays owns 90% of the minimum wage of Singapore undergraduates. (Evidence: Salary.sg) My insecurity prompted me to text my mum this morning: What if i earn only $2k after i graduate? It's definitely a cause for concern:
- My school fees are 55% higher than the other courses of other uni - at least between SMU Biz and NTU Biz
- I'm high-maintenance. Given the resources, i will spurge (within my means of course)
- Competition in school is already so cut-throat, can i survive the wilderness of the society? Schools are considered sheltered grounds.
- I applied for a few internships but i haven't been called up. (Maybe it's a bad move to compete with SMU seniors and SMU students in general)
- Unlike the mainstream *ahem* finance SMU students, i'm not going to take Finance as a major. I have my share of 'i'm going to just take finance as a backup', 'are you sure you're not going to take finance', 'it's so easy for biz students to declare finance', 'everyone's doing finance' and 'finance is where the money is'. No, i'm not going to take finance. It could mean my starting pay is going to be lower but it would also mean i'm going to lead a more fulfilling career by following my heart and not just my logic.
I shall be giving another shot for my internship. Had to re-do my resume because apparently dates are supposed to be on the right and not the left. -__- I've been using the wrong template for 3 years.